Dear God! Landlord get me a large glass of Chardonnay quick! My mother, who is absolutely lovely , has come for a visit. Let's just say that she doesn't do subtle! She is in the kitchen, explaining to my 8year old daughter (who is as thin as a bean pole) why it is important not to skip dessert because mummy is. The conversation is as follows:
Why don't you want any dessert? Are you worried about mummy.
No. I just don't want it.
Well..... Mummy's not taken care of herself and that's why she's fat. She's always been a bit of a salad dodger. But you're ok. You're like me (my mother weighs 9 stone) but my granny was a big lady as well.
Bless her, she doesn't realise I can hear! My husband is nearly wetting himself!