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This Is Really Hard

Oldvatr said:
I hope this has helped by giving you confidence to join in more. Your postings are thoughtful and I feel you will become another valued contributor. Good Luck.
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Good heavens, I feel like I have been posting far too much. But thank you very much for the encouragement.
 
I tend toward being a people person. My first instinct is to try to aleviate the fear, panic and worry that diagnosis can bring and with a number as high as mine on dx that fear was almost insurmountable until I found this forum. My initial thoughts are to try to calm the anxiety of newbies but I must admit to being a tad over enthiusiastic at the begining but that is, in my defence, because I was so scared and thought my prognosis so bleak. Hopefully, I am far more gentle these days and continue giving advice in bitesize chunks that are easily read and that are more welcoming rather than coming across as an immediate set of rules thatone must comply with or else.

The advice I got here definitely saved me from from the threat voiced by my dn of further drugs and insulin. If I had taken her advice alone I would be on those treatments rather than being diet controlled. The longer I can keep this control in these circumstances the happier I shall remain. Six months on from dx and I still have loads to learn and a little to pass on and I feel that it is almost a duty to pass on that which I have learned in thanks to those who taught me (you know who you are) by way of this forum. I cannot help everyone but if I can soothe the fears of a couple of those newly diagnosed then I am giving at least a little back to this community.
 
Guzzler said:
The advice I got here definitely saved me from from the threat voiced by my dn of further drugs and insulin [@Grateful's italics]. If I had taken her advice alone I would be on those treatments rather than being diet controlled. The longer I can keep this control in these circumstances the happier I shall remain.
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Wow (bolded text above). So many of these well-meaning professionals seem to be peddling a self-fulfilling cycle. The more I hear about that kind of thing, the more determined I am to help balance the message. Shouldn't be our role at all, we're just lay people who happen to have the disease. Sigh.
 
Grateful said:
I've been a denizen of Internet fora for years, but usually these are hobby sites, where the worst thing you might do is give bad advice that results in someone ruining the paint job on their Spitfire plastic model.

This is the first time I have been an active member of a place where life-and-death issues are being discussed.

As someone who is now nine months after Type 2 diagnosis, I perhaps know a little bit more than the newly diagnosed newbie. So I have been trying to share what I know.

It is awfully hard. How does one give helpful "nudge" advice without coming across as a "nanny" or worse, a "bully"? How does one avoid scaring people, while maintaining the seriousness level fairly high (this is a nasty, chronic disease). What is the difference between a (metaphorical) "healthy kick in the pants" and a psychological aggression? We know very little about the members we are "speaking" to so how can we possibly know how they will react?

Perhaps hardest of all, how does one give suggestions without shading over into giving "medical advice" which really should only come from a doctor?

What about the complex cases such as @Robbieswan where the situation changes so fast that anything we say can be nullified (and turn out to be well-meaning, but possibly bad advice) within hours or days by developments?

On the whole I am amazed at the tact and compassion shown by forum members. I wish I had found this place earlier!

I was going to post this in the "General" part of the forum but I think it belongs in "Diabetes Discussions." If the mods disagree, they are most welcome to move it to wherever it fits. (I hope I have not transgressed the forum rules in the subject matter of this thread. I did read the rules when I joined and I think this is OK.)
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What I do is...... say what I would have liked to hear when I was first diagnosed. The biggest thing is .....don't play the blame game.
If you put yourself in their fresh shoes in this adventure and advise appropriately. No medical advice but advice to listen or note medics or record consultants. Is all positive support, I think.
 
If I had listened to my HCP's then I'd be on meds and eating the eat well plate. IMO I'd be well on the way to taking more meds because I'd have to take more to control of the effects of all those carbs AND I'd have been having carb cravings. As I don't have much will power and am not a very organised person I'd be having major problems.

I do not eat on a regular basis or at certain times. How could I manage that lifestyle whilst taking meds. I have watched a close friend struggle to cope with being on insulin. (She's been type 1 since 10 years old, her father was T1 as well, so she's been living the life for 30+ years and she still gets it wrong). The lifestyle change that I would have had to undergo would have been mega and I wouldn't have coped.

Thanks to those people who gave me a choice I was able to chose the easy option for me. Control without meds and my way. I shall forever be grateful to the forum members who bravely post on here to spread the word.
 
Grateful said:
Here's a post I just made that falls in the "really hard" category. Am I being too harsh?

http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/anyone-struggle-to-get-a-diagnosis.128947/#post-1610976
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I would say be wary, The OP you were respomding to seems to me to be more medic savvy than I would expect from a recent Newbie. I suspect they are not new to Forum life either. Their profile is missing info that one would normally expect to be there after the signing up process.

It may be that their relatives have provided some input to this post of theirs, but the symptoms listed do not tally with those of a classic diabetic, so yes, there seems to be other things going on that may need proper medical attention. Here in the UK it is fairly easy to get hold of a starter kit free and gratis, and that will give around 10 test strips and lancets included in the box. This site often has a promotion like that on offer in the newsletter sent out to members.

Suggest that she borrows her relatives tester to try some initial samples and then report back?
 
Guzzler said:
We cannot help everyone and we must not diagnose anyone. The best thing to advise is a return to see a doctor in the above case. Err on the side of caution.
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Thanks! I was more concerned that I was unfairly criticizing someone who doesn't have enough funds to buy health insurance nor to pay a doctor even for just one visit with tests. Easy enough for me to say: here in America, as a self-employed businessman, I spend a substantial portion of my income on health insurance and I can (just!) afford to.

I tend to think that if I were in bad straits (and I have some experience of that), the very last thing I would cut back on is health provision of one kind or another. In America, the truly poor have reasonable free coverage under Medicaid, in most states. We all have different priorities, and being both hard-up and ill makes it hard at the best of times.
 
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Oldvatr said:
I would say be wary, The OP you were respomding to seems to me to be more medic savvy than I would expect from a recent Newbie.
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There are very few advanced countries where anyone would say they cannot go to a doctor because they "don't have insurance." That is what makes me think the OP I was responding to is in America (and so am I). The cluster of symptoms is certainly enough to warrant a visit to a doctor, pronto.
 
Grateful said:
It is what I thought. She is indeed American. She does not have medical insurance (her employer does not provide it) and she is waiting for her husband's medical benefits to kick in. She states that she is not destitute, just needing to watch her pennies because of expenses with the apartment, etc. (http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/anyone-struggle-to-get-a-diagnosis.128947/#post-1610993).
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Sounds plausible. I actually checked some of the symptoms she gave, and some are related to early stage pregnancy. Others may indicate a possible thyroid problem. Did not find diabetetes mentioned per se. So it seems to be a pick and mix. but then we are all different. It will not be as simple as classic diabetes, I suspect. She really does need further tests and doctor oversight. It may be anemia of some form.

Do you guys have access to ketostix for testing the urine, It is not accurate like a meter, but might indicste sugar and / or UTI infection. And they are relatively cheap. Here in the UK some pharmacies offer free diabetes checks

Thinking sbout it Walmart ran a promotion of free meters in store in US. last year I think.
 
Oldvatr said:
Do you guys have access to ketostix for testing the urine, It is not accurate like a meter, but might indicste sugar and / or UTI infection. And they are relatively cheap. Here in the UK some pharmacies offer free diabetes checks.
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We have "access" to almost anything here in America, but that word "access" is the cop-out term used by a certain orange-faced person to dodge actually providing health care at a reasonable cost at the point of delivery (let alone universal health care).
 
Keeping some kind of steady hand for oneself, in a forum like this one with life-and-death issues discussed on a daily basis, is even harder than I thought when I started this thread.

It is also compelling, both because we share a common disease (or a common family of conditions) and because of the human stories. The factual content, and the historical perspectives, are great too. I am particularly impressed by the deep knowledge and scholarship of some members, and the helpfulness of all of them.

I feel like I keep "putting my foot in it" with half-baked, too hasty thoughts of my own so this is a good time for reflection. Not necessarily posting less, but being much more careful if I am in a factual area that I don't know enough about. It is great that we have members who can help keep us on the straight-and-narrow when we get our facts wrong. (I am a member of other Internet fora where, frankly, making mistakes simply matters a lot less.)

I am starting to feel a bit like the target of the meme below. I say this in the nicest possible way! (A bit cheeky of me. Facts are the lifeblood of a forum such as this one!)

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