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Totally fed up!!!

Discussion in 'Type 1 Diabetes' started by typeonederfull, Jul 7, 2019.

  1. typeonederfull

    typeonederfull Type 1 · Member

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    My OH is making me so unhappy, the way he treats me over my diabetes is horrible I'm made to feel like a naughty school child who's not allowed to talk. He has been so horrible I feel like sitting a crying but why should I be apologetic for having diabetes, he no longer approves of me having my insulin when we are out. And if my bs levels are not between 5-7 of course it's my fault for not having perfect bs control but who has 100% of the time. I'm just wondering if anyone else has issues from there OH over their diabetes. need advice
     
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  2. Antje77

    Antje77 LADA · Moderator
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    Can you speak to your GP or a counsellor about your husband?
     
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  3. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Moderator
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    Hello @typeonederfull

    Sorry to hear about your OH, his behaviour is completely unreasonable and very unsupportive, have you tried to discuss with him why he behaves this way ? Partners should be supportive as ultimately it's your health at risk, and blame is a terrible way to treat someone with an auto immune condition they don't want and need to manage carefully.

    My partner is great, before the pump on injections he would make me inject at the table in restaurants rather than running to the loo, rubbish when I have a hypo as he doesn't know how to help except know that I need glucose, but that's a pretty insignificant thing in the scheme of things, if he wasn't supportive though I wouldn't stay with him as I couldn't cope with it unless I could rationalise his behaviour to understand why.
     
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  4. hodders

    hodders Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi
    Have you been diagnosed long? If not maybe it's his way of dealing with something that frightens him as he has little or no knowledge of type 1. By being in denial for a short while it may be just his way of coming to terms with it. Denial means for now he doesn't have to deal with it and blaming you for it could be part of this too. My OH was similar at the start mostly because he didn't want to have to try to deal with something that scared him in its complexity. He has come to terms with it now in his own way and I couldn't do some of the things I do without his support.
    Talk to your OH it maybe that he is worried and scared for you and feels totally helpless. So if he pretends it doesn't exist then just maybe it won't. Silly I know but type 1 is complex.
    Sorry if I am now rambling.
    Take care and good luck.
     
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  5. Fairygodmother

    Fairygodmother Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Have a hug! I too think your OH is being unreasonable. Have you asked him why he’s behaving like this? It seems it’s most likely his problems, his hang ups, not you, that are making him behave like this.
    I agree with Antje, see if you can talk to a GP, a DSN and/or a Counsellor about it. A good OH’s supportive, not controlling and accusatory.
    What would happen if you called his shots and injected at the table when you’re out and let him know that it’s not always possible to keep blood sugars at 5 -7 as the exogenous insulin’s no substitute for the finely tuned non-diabetic body? Ask him if he’d like to pay for the pump, Rileylink and CGM that are required to build a loop to maintain bloods as nearly close to a non T1s as possible.
    Good luck! And please don’t call his shots if you think it’d make the situation worse.
     
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  6. Diakat

    Diakat Type 1 · Moderator
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    Mine used to be useless and embarrassed when I injected in public. But he has realised that actually no one gives two hoots if I am injecting so has relaxed. He still looks confused when I’m testing like mad during a hypo and eating lots, but he has got better about prodding me awake if I’m behaving oddly at night.
    If your OH is insulting you and abusing you because of your D then you need to take a deep breath and decide if you want to stay with someone that cannot accept this big part of you.
     
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  7. Mike D

    Mike D Type 2 · Expert

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    An intelligent response ... and a welcome one at that :)
     
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  8. Marie 2

    Marie 2 LADA · Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry to hear that. I've not had to deal with an non supportive spouse.

    I just want to add. This disease will not go away, no matter what. It's your health we are talking about so you need to deal with it to keep you healthy. Everything could get a lot worse if you don't treat it as it needs to be and then you become unhealthy.

    So the most important thing to remember is to keep healthy and do what you need to do to stay that way. There should be no question of that.
     
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  9. becca59

    becca59 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    So sorry to hear this. The question must surely be is your OH like this in other ways or just with diabetes. If the latter, he is probably having problems with acceptance and you need to talk rationally with him. If this is just an extension of how he behaves generally, I would be seriously worried about controlling behaviour.
     
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  10. becca59

    becca59 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Have just read an interesting article on Twitter about Libre. It was meant to be for professionals but I managed to read it ok. It was all about an areas trials and results. Quite extensive and interesting. Have tried to post here but it won’t let me. One of the most interesting facts being, to quote, “5 of the 89 users no longer meet the criteria for an insulin pump, due to their improvements in HBA1C!” It goes on, but quotes the ultimate savings on insulin pumps to the NHS by wearing a Libre. Very interesting!

    *Sorry posted in wrong thread and it will not let me delete.
     
    #10 becca59, Jul 9, 2019 at 7:22 AM
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2019
  11. Diakat

    Diakat Type 1 · Moderator
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    Sounds interesting @becca59 do you know the publication it was in or website name?
     
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  12. becca59

    becca59 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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  13. becca59

    becca59 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hurrah! Done it. Just click the cross on the acceptance box.
     
  14. Diakat

    Diakat Type 1 · Moderator
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    Thanks!
     
  15. Fairygodmother

    Fairygodmother Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Thanks @becca59, it’s an interesting read. Looking at the comparative costs of libre and pump tells me why I’ve been refused the pump so many times ☹️.
     
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  16. JAT1

    JAT1 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    That's too bad. Diabetes is hard enough to deal with and you have his stupid behaviour on top of that ! There is no excuse for the way he is acting.
     
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  17. Practalyborndiabetic

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    Maybe he should try living with a chronic illness see how easy he finds it coz it [expletive removed by mod] isn't easy and is he embarrassed if you inject out that's terrible hun it's not heroin it's insulin we all have it in us, except us diabtics of course it's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about x

    Post edited by moderator to remove profanity.
     
    #17 Practalyborndiabetic, Jul 28, 2019 at 5:54 AM
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 29, 2019
  18. mentat

    mentat Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    That's medical abuse.

    Sorry to be blunt but you have to take it seriously. I'm not sure whether this is the case, but if he actually stops you from taking insulin correctly, that is causing you bodily harm and is thus a form of violence.
     
  19. Fairygodmother

    Fairygodmother Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Is this an old thread? How are things now @typeonderful?
     
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  20. lizdeluz

    lizdeluz Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    The trouble with controlling behaviour is that it doesn't allow the other person to put his or her point of view. The reason for this may well be fear or anxiety, but knowing that doesn't help the person in the firing line. A way of getting some support may be through your DSN who has probably, in his/her role, come across other patients suffering this kind of treatment. Please talk to your DSN in the first instance. I hope talking with a health professional about it may help you find strength to resist your OH's fear or resentment of your diabetes management.
     
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