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Totally fed up

Discussion in 'Diabetes Discussions' started by jan123, Aug 5, 2009.

  1. jan123

    jan123 · Active Member

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    Apologies to all Type 1s for having this moan :( I am type 2, although docs think now that I was type 1 all along and have now been put on an insulin regime, into my second week now and 2 nights ago totally threw a hissy fit! I had gone to the shops and picked up dinner for my husband and son, they wanted steak and kidney pie and chips and apple pie and custard, found myself walking round the store with tears running down my face because they were eating what I could not have! I ended up buying a packet of cigs, (I had given up), smoked one, hated it and then hubbie had a go at me fo doing so! I then totally broke down, said I could not bear a life of having to inject myself everyday and not being able to eat what I wanted when I wanted.

    Do any of you guys feel this way? I feel so stupid at a) having not been able to get my sugars under control (and I was dieting very hard) and having to resort to insulin and b) by throwing a stupid tantrum when I am almost 50!
     
  2. chocoholic

    chocoholic · Well-Known Member

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    Hi jan 123,
    Your posting proves one thing......you are human....like the rest of us. Most of us would be lying if we said we didn't go through similar feelings at some time, especially when we have to accept going on to insulin or shortly after diagnosis.
    You mustn't look upon progressing to insulin as a failure though. If they are correct in thinking you are Type 1, insulin usage is needed, regardless of 'how good you are with diet'. It is not a case of you having failed.I felt as you do a few years back,so I speak from experience.
    Getting used to using insulin takes a while too, as does getting used to eating differently to how you have been.Can I advise you to try a new tack....instead of cooking separate things for other family members, try and wean them onto healthier food too. It'll benefit them and help your willpower. Or decide one night a week you'll have a 'small' portion of what you fancy. Eventually you'll find you don't crave things like pie and chips anyway. There are other ways to treat yourself...strawberries and cream....a couple of squares of really dark chocolate.....a piece of juicy steak..............as long as you don't overdo the carbs, there must be something that will tickle your palate?
    My readings kept going low yesterday and I had a real craving for one of those 99p KFC mini fillet things in a tiny bap. Hubby was despatched to buy it late last night (it's opposite our house). I hadn't had KFC for ages but you know what...it tasted disgusting.It tasted so synthetic that I only ate about half of it and gave the rest to hubby. I think my memory of KFC was different to the actual taste once it was in my hands. I won't be hurrying to order another KFC in a hurry and it actually did me good that happening because it shows me my taste buds have changed. I actually enjoyed what I had for dinner last night more....a large omelette with diced chicken, red onion,sun-dried tomatoes and Philly cheese with garlic and herbs.
    Trust me, things will get easier for you but none of us wears a halo. You'll have slip-ups along the way but the important thing is to realise your body doesn't need pie and chips or apple pie. Your mind is still telling you you want it but your body will work better without it and feeling healthier must be preferable,surely.
    Be strong.There are several hundred members here who know how you feel and want to help.
    All the best, chocoholic.
     
  3. jan123

    jan123 · Active Member

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    Thank you for your response, I'm going home to cook a nice chicken casserole I've found in my diabetic cookbook! :)
     
  4. emzie

    emzie · Newbie

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    i am 21 years old and was diagnosed when i was 17,i know exactly what your going through because i even now through a hissy fit when its time to inject-
    but i find i can still eat what i want in moderation the only thing now is i crave chocolate all the time never a big fan of it before i was diagnosed i think its a case of when you told you cant have it thats all you ever want.

    i even have the days where it is whats the point and stopped taking my insulin for about 2 weeks but then found i had ketones and that was the kick up the bum i needed, yes i am diabetic but just remember you control it,it dosent control you.

    and this site has helped me a hell of a lot knowing that you are not the only one out there with these problems-and will give advise.

    hope things pick up for you
    emzie :p
     
  5. Romola

    Romola · Well-Known Member

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    Only a Type 2, but other half and I eat the same meals.

    Since diagnosis, I have followed a reduced carb low glycemic load regime. It has kept my bg under control, but in addition :D OH has lost some flab and looks much fitter and nicer - and he didn't even realise he was on a diet!

    Lots of delicious things are allowable - part of it is just finding new treats to replace the old ones - and they won't be all that tempting once you have got used to not having them.

    We are being obliged to eat healthily for a very serious reason - but the health of the whole family will benefit too.
     
  6. Janieb

    Janieb · Well-Known Member

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    hey there totally understand what you're going through re food - its a pain in the ar........e .
    Why dont you see if your family would follow the same food diet as yourself.
    My hubbie Paul as soon as he knew i was diabetic did this automatically and is seriously good especially when I'm craving the evil chocolate.
     
  7. pebbles22

    pebbles22 · Member

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    You need to count your blessings instead of looking at all the negative aspects of diabetes, you can eat what you want as long as you dont go mad and also adjust your insulin accordingly. My husband has type 1 diabetes for 10 years, my 3 year old son has been diagnosed with type 1 in April 09, now thats what I call hard.
     
  8. dragongirl

    dragongirl · Well-Known Member

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    Hey, that's a bit hard on Jan, pebbles22! Getting a diagnosis or an unexpected change to more severe medication is trauma - little 't' compared to earthquakes, I guess. But still traumatic. And the mind shuts down on feelings on these occasions. But there's always a day (or a week or whatever) when the feeling starts again and the enormity hits us. That's when tears flow - what Freud called an overflow of the excess emotion. It's healthier out than in, and needs sympathy/empathy rather than chiding. Jan will pick herself up when she's able to. Sounds like she's started with that chicken casserole :D

    You've had a hard time of it with your own family, though - you've done well to find and keep a positive outlook. I hope to learn from you (and everyone) as I live with this longer than the one month I already have.
     
  9. ChocFish

    ChocFish · Well-Known Member

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    Hi jan123
    you poor, poor kiddo, hell I think just about everyone feels or has felt like you do at the moment, I know I most certainly did, bear in mind that I have been diabetic for 18 years, by now I am used to it and have totally accepted the situation. But it was hard, really, really hard and even when my caring, supportive husband offered to eat lower carb food with me, do you know I was pleased about it, for his health, not mine because I still was ranting and raving at the unfairness of it all, I missed my doughnuts especially.
    Of course it gets you down, somehow you feel like a leper, the only one out in the family, I have to sit there with rabbit food while they are tucking into Yorskhire pudding and roast potatoes and what not, then trifle as well, oh why dont you.

    Our lovely chocoholic has a very valid point there when she suggests that maybe it is time for the whole family to eat a bit healthier as by the sounds of it they are eating their way to some sort of disease or other. My family and many friends, diabetic or not have all drastically reduced their carb intake, increased vegetables and berries, pie and chips, oh maybe have pie and chips as an occasional treat, but look at it, the piecrust = highly likely to be transfats, definitely high carb made with white flour, so WHERE is the nutrition in that, its just cheap nasty filler that leads to illness and clogs up arteries, same with chips, start introducing healthier options, its best for the entire family, its exciting, something new.

    You can still have lots of nice food to eat, you can do some very luxurious rich chocolate mousse, you can do trifle and cheesecakes, you can do a sponge cake (Fergus has posted a recipe here some time ago), I remember chocoholic wrote about trying it out filling it with whipped cream and berries and it was yummy. Here is a link to some recipes that are very acceptable for families, whether they are diabetic or not http://www.carb-lite.au.com/

    Dont go beating yourself up for throwing a wobbly, they are part of life and its good that you dont bottle up your feelings, we all know that stress, upset, etc cause bg to rise.

    I hope that things get easier for you again soon, I love your upbeat attitude, I bet the casserole was lovely :)

    Big, big hugs

    Karen x
     
  10. jan123

    jan123 · Active Member

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    I apologise if I have upset you, at the time it helped me to write down what I was feeling, I feel for your husband and son, I really do, but please don't berate me for feeling for myself too :( I know I can eat what I want, but to do so would be to pay the price of high blood sugars and feeling ****!

    BTW thanks guys and gals for all your supportive messages, I have picked up the dummy and placed it firmly back in my mouth :)
     
  11. ChocFish

    ChocFish · Well-Known Member

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    Any time Jan123, as we have said its all better out than in :)

    (((((((Jan123)
     
  12. jan123

    jan123 · Active Member

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    Thank you, I am usually rather sane! I feel very hurt that someone joining today decided within 6 minutes of that to berate me, still it does take all sorts, I have actually found this forum to be very useful and full of information that I did not know about :)
     
  13. ChocFish

    ChocFish · Well-Known Member

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    Jan123, its early days yet, you are still learning lots of things, well actually this learning is an ongoing process for all of us.
    Talking about our experiences, and feelings and things is so important, its part of the holistic treatment, its not just about your pancreas and insulin, its the whole of you, body and soul, you as a complete human being.
    Its nothing to do with being sane or not sane, we all have feelings, male or female and we should all be tolerant towards others feelings too, things that might upset me might not upset you at all or not as much.
    I think pebbles must be very traumatised by her situation, so probably sees this as much worse than someone elses, she will maybe be along soon and apologise for criticising you, she probably feels bitter at her little boys diagnosis and her post was/is probably her way of letting things out and had no intention of hurting you, a kind of clumsy way of telling you that there is even worse, eg her own situation? I dont know, but I find it hard to believe that someone would just want to come in here and knock someone over the head like this? I am only guessing because I often think and also say, 'you dont have to look far to find someone who is even worse off than you' - hmmmm but I usually say that once I have finished my own ranting, raving and crying.

    Good that you find the forum useful, lots of support and info here.
    Dont let this one incident stop you from posting though, and also you can always send a PM if you feel uncomfortable about something.
    Karen x
     
  14. pebbles22

    pebbles22 · Member

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    hi

    You havent upset me and I feel you just dont know enough about your condition, when you say know "I can eat what I want, but to do so would be to pay the price of high blood sugars and feeling cr*p! " demonstrates this. Is all about finding the correct balance. And I dont feel the need to have been on this forum for the last 20 years to be justified in writing what I think even if people dont agree with it. Maybe if people stopped wallowing and actually put their energy into finding out how best to control their diabetes they would feel more positive.
     
  15. ChocFish

    ChocFish · Well-Known Member

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    Words fail me, how dare you!!! Obviously you was not exactly spoonfed on compassion.

    Karen
     
  16. pebbles22

    pebbles22 · Member

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    how dare I have an opinion - says it all really. happy spoonfeeding
     
  17. lionrampant

    lionrampant · Well-Known Member

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    People, people... you're all wrong compared to me. :D
     
  18. phoenix

    phoenix Type 1 · Expert

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    Please slow down and don't get angry. I think I can see where both Pebbles and Jan are coming from.
    Its a shock to be diagnosed with type 1 at an older age, I know that, I've been there. It can't help if other members of the family want to eat things that you have been warned against and you know in your heart are not healthy choices. However developing type 1 at an older age is not the end of the world, we have the maturity to make decisions and make healthy choices for ourselves.
    As Pebble says , its a matter of balance, of food, insulin and exercise. Once you learn to use insulin (and it will take some time to gain the confidence to do so) you can eat almost anything without the immediate consequences of high blood glucose levels. It is not necessarily advisable to do this all the time, just as it isn't for anyone else whether they have diabetes or not. You have to decide where to draw your own line as to what is healthy and how many carbs (and insulin) is too much for you.
    Personally, have no problem eating out in restaurants though I don't often eat puddings (I've gone off very sweet things) . I tend not to eat things like pizza which are harder to dose for. I probably wouldn't eat pie and chips, but I will occasionally eat steak or chicken and chips with veg or a large salad. I'll eat Christmas dinner except for the pudding and mince pies which I think would require far too much insulin, I replace it with a dark choc mousse .
    In a weird way getting type 1 has given me a fresh impetus to live a healthy lifestyle, and for the most part I prefer what I feel are healthy balanced meals.
    Type 1 certainly hasn't stopped me doing anything . I travel, I go on backpacking holidays and I run and walk long distances.

    On the other hand I am eternally grateful that I or my children didn't get it at a younger age. For a young child the injections, blood testing and being more careful with diet are something being imposed by a parent or doctor . As children grow up they have to cope with peer pressure but behaving as other adolescents do can have disasterous consequences. For the parent there is the extra responsibility of 'doing it right' and fear for their childrens future, a pressure that must at times feel overwhelming.
    Both of you have every reason to have worries, Hpefully, there are a wide enough variety of people on this forum to be able to offer support and help to both of you.
     
  19. jan123

    jan123 · Active Member

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    This is all very new to me, and once again I apologise if I have done something wrong, I joined this forum for advice, I have obviously got it wrong, I was not wallowing, just expressing how I felt on one day
     
  20. sugarless sue

    sugarless sue · Master

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    Pebbles 22, people come on this forum for help and support,yes a lot do have a bad day but they have made a positive step by joining this forum and talking to other diabetics about how they feel.
    They do get advice on how to control and help their diabetes it is up to them to either take that advice on board or ignore it. We are here to help those who wish to be helped.
    Please remember that you have been dealing with diabetes for a long time.for newly diagnosed it is a very confusing and frightening time and they need time to adapt to this life long condition.
     
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