Hi
@jeanski, As someone who has been on insulin for 52 years, not as professional advice or opinion:
Sorry to hear of the your predicament: Life is complicated enough without diabetes.
Stress makes BSLs worse. It can be a vicious cycle - stress causes release of cortisol, our stress management hormone. Cortisol has effects that affect insulin's ability to work efficiently, up go the blood sugars as a result which make us feel worse and that can make it more difficult to manage day to day, leading to more stress. Stress may make us eat for comfort putting BSLs up and we may pay less attention to how our BSLs are day to day, We lose touch with what is happening.
Mix insulins like the one you are prescribed are convenient because they combine the effects of short and long acting insulins. But, according to those I have met who have been prescribed them and my doctor ,-
such insulins are not good for adapting to changing situations - when one dose is altered both types of insulin are altered and that affects at least 12 hours of the day when the change desired maybe for a smaller part of the day such as a high BSL after breakfast.
The insulin regimes that provide better adapting to changes etc are more complex : many of us are or have been on what is called a
basal-bolus regime. One or two doses of long acting insulin to provide a continuous 24 hour cover of basal insulin - plus use of short-acting insulin as bolus doses before each main meal to cover the upswing of BSLs after food. Each component of these basal-bolus regimes can be altered to better tweak BSLs.
I know complexity is probably the last thing you can cope with right now BUT
you owe it to yourself and your family to be healthier. Less high and perhaps less low BSLs = better health, better moods etc.. Also one thing you may have noticed with the mix insulins is that once injected you are obligated to eat in order to prevent your self going hypo.
With basal-bolus regimes meals can be delayed, occasionally skipped as the short-acting insulin timing determines when you eat.
Depression is a real bugbear that can affect diabetics - and does affect me. It affects my sleep, my mood over and above high and low BSLs and frustration is certainly a element of it. As you say, finding the right person to speak with about it is important. Finding that person can be a challenge - perhaps requiring one GP for the diabetes side and another GP, or a psychologist, counsellor or psychiatrist for the mood troubles.
When stressed, I find my breathing becomes more rapid and breath holding happens (well, it starts again before I go blue!!) and I cannot think my way out of a wet paper bag. If I breathe evenly, not too deep or shallow I can strategise better.
Perhaps
you and your partner need to find ways with relating to the children which can share the responsibilities better, which ease the loads and frustrations you are finding affect you. Finding common goals within a family is a worthwhile challenge. I add that where all else fails with children use bribery but that is a trap if overused !!! Praise and devolving some responsibilities help children to feel important.
I find
humour, particularly self humour, can ease stress. years ago my children used to call my injecting of insulin 'javelin practice', I could joke that 'the world is going to run out of rubber tress if I keep blowing a gasket over this and that' and going for a walk was 'another day of field work, out of the office' when photographing new spring colours was the aim. I also found that -
To err is human. I could beat myself up about making a mistake but it was
learning from each mistake ( too much insulin, eating food too late after insulin, too much exercise etc) which as important.
Exercise is a real stress reliever, best not done it BSLs are > 14 mmol/l (> 250 mg/dL) and you would need to discuss how to manage exercise with your diabetes doctor.
Self-esteem - I am guessing that being an employer provides you with a sense of worth. That is important and no doubt you have a level of complexity there which you manage. You have that accolade. Perhaps your abilities there can translate to managing your diabetes better.
Best wishes.