Hi
@Sthiel438. I’ve been looking at your thread and feeling very sad that you and your husband are finding so little happiness.
You don’t say much about the way relationship between you and your husband was before your diagnosis other than that he was controlling. This in itself is worrying. However, I get the feeling that you’re a person who needs love and support - don’t we all. You were unwilling to move away from the support of your family who, it appears, have always provided this even before your diagnosis. It seems, from what you’ve written that your families are very different. I think we learn a lot from the way we are treated as we’re growing up and now that these differences have been put in the spotlight of T1, they’ve taken centre stage will need to be addressed. I’m not a counsellor, or a psychologist, so please dismiss what I say if it doesn’t seem appropriate.
How does your husband behave with your family? How does his family behave towards you? I ask this because I’m wondering if a change in the way you behave towards each other is possible. If you decide to stay in the marriage and work towards a happier state for both of you it could take some time. Are you prepared to devote that time to it?
Reading between the lines, it appears to me that your diagnosis has had a big impact on your husband too. If he’s not used to a home life in which emotions are expressed then his anger, and what seems to be a wish to dismiss the harder parts of living with T1, could be his only recourse to self expression. Perhaps, too, his apologies about your injecting and his concern that others might be distressed by needles were a hint to you to ask if they were before you injected?
It also seems that he’s relying on you to look after him in the home which suggests he needs you.
Have you followed advice given here to sit down with him to talk about the way you both feel about the current situation? It’s hard to brace yourself for more anger but a neutral space in which you can be frank with each other is essential, and so is allowing each other to fully express the ways T1 and the relationship are making you feel. (Decent blood sugars for this are essential
). It might be a good idea to start by agreeing that you won’t shout and you’ll be completely honest. And by each writing a list of the things that are making you unhappy, swapping them, and and allowing enough time for each of you to read and think about the other’s before you begin to talk. Give yourselves time to really look at each other’s view.
Have you seen your medical support team about your difficulties with the pump?
You may both be able to learn and change but if in the end decide to part then you’re still young and you may find that there’s a new future ahead. You mention his job but not your own. Do you work? Do you want to make an independent life for yourself that’d give you the confidence that comes from knowing you can stand firmly on your own feet, T1 or no T1? If you do then you may wish to look at what you’ll need to do to make the best of yourself whether it’s more training, finding new interests, doing something you always wanted to but haven’t yet, such as decorating cakes or car mechanics - there are loads of things out there that you can seek.
Good luck in the next stage of your journey.