• Guest - w'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the 2025 Survey »

Vastly Improved Blood Sugars - Midlife Crisis?

VWS, @zand

To quote that old saying, there are at least 3 sides to every story - his, hers ... and the truth :D

I could easily go back through all of the OP's posts, read between all the lines, and come up with a much more dramatic take on his partner than the one he's given us. If he was really trying to dupe us - and gawd knows why he'd want to do that - he could have embellished the details a lot more than he has done.
 
I must admit zand, I saw it like that to a certain extent. Why give us false information as it would not lead to applicable advice. Any person who is unhappy enough to ask for opinions has to be applauded. It takes a lot to admit things aren't hunky dory in life....especially of such a personal nature. At the moment I bet he wished he never said anything! I hope he comes back online to tell us about his apparent 'eureka' moment earlier on today because it was all a bit cryptic. I just hope they can both sort things out on a personal and marriage level.

@lunarlinda There is a detective in you LOL :)
 
Women are far better at manipulation than men.?

That's a bit of a sweeping statement Zand, in respect of politicians and lawyers, (men in the main), I don't know how that fits?
 
Yes, SJC, I was told once by a psycic that I should have been a Detective. ;)

Girls, what he has to gain is he makes himself look better, he's the badly done too partner, she is the baddie. If we all started to attack her behaviour towards him, he would stick up for her.
He feels guilty deep down.
 
Zand, you've got me thinking now about if I do have a problem with men, I don't think I have, but all this today has made me think.

As part of my degree, one of my subjects was Women's Studies. It was a real eye-opener to how women have been manipulated over the years by men/ governments. Maybe I have never got over the things I learned on the subject.? Food for thought..............
 
Well l will swing in with my comments it is probably blue touch paper but anyhow:

Regards loosing weight at the gym or exercising this is a common misconception you do not loose weight you loose fat and gain muscle, muscle is heavier than fat but takes longer to gain and is healthy. See picture at the end to explain what l mean.

Second point l put linda on ignore...problem solved

Up to DM what he does but l would say a lot of people are making a lot of excuses for her manipulation. Lots of people have problems she choose to behave as she has. She has had a long time to look for help. Now he is getting himself sorted she is not happy as stated you can not hide from your self and quite frankly l think it is time for a long talk with her, and if need be hit the road. Unless you can love yourself or some aspects of yourself how can you love others?

fat v muscle.jpg
 
Hi lunarlinda.
I did the Women's Studies too.

There is a difference in being a man hater and being a strong woman who will not put up with some men's idea of what being a woman entails. We all know cases of the dutiful wife who asks how high when told to jump, has the same political views because she does not think for herself but accepts that he must know best, who has no idea about the family finances because her husband deals with it. She accepts being treated as his appendage and even though she is not happy she accepts her lot.

There are a lot of men who will admit that they cannot deal with a strong woman as they like to be seen as head of the household, the breadwinner, the thinker. You know the ones, they like to be in control.

I have been on my own for several years after being widowed and have met several men. I recently got engaged to a man who treats me with respect, is happy to debate anything with me, accepts we have different views on some things, loves me for who I am and is always open about how he is feeling. If a problem rears it's ugly head then we resolve it with compromise.

I would class you as a strong woman @lunarlinda
 
Catherinecherub, I thank you for your post. It has made me cry. xx

P.S, well done on finding your soulmate, I wish you Happiness Forever. xx
 
lunarlinda said:
Women are far better at manipulation than men.?

That's a bit of a sweeping statement Zand, in respect of politicians and lawyers, (men in the main), I don't know how that fits?
Click to expand...
Yes that's a fair point. I was meaning more on the personal relationship front.
 
lunarlinda said:
Zand, you've got me thinking now about if I do have a problem with men, I don't think I have, but all this today has made me think.

As part of my degree, one of my subjects was Women's Studies. It was a real eye-opener to how women have been manipulated over the years by men/ governments. Maybe I have never got over the things I learned on the subject.? Food for thought..............
Click to expand...
I'm not saying you definitely have lunarlinda, it was just a question. I definitely have a problem with women sometimes.

edit: sorry our posts crossed.
 
I didn't know you did have a problem with women Zand, I haven't seen your posts regarding the matter.

I hope your new found confidence goes some way to improve that situation. Do you distrust women, or are / were you intimidated by them? xx
If you'd rather not open up old wounds it's ok, I understand. xx
 
lunarlinda said:
I didn't know you did have a problem with women Zand, I haven't seen your posts regarding the matter.

I hope your new found confidence goes some way to improve that situation. Do you distrust women, or are / were you intimidated by them? xx
If you'd rather not open up old wounds it's ok, I understand. xx
Click to expand...
Yes my improved confidence helps lots and I am actively trying harder to spend more time with women. That was the easy bit to answer!
Yes I distrust women until they have proven to me they can be trusted. I am intimidated by them en masse. I am fine with anyone at all on a one to one basis. I don't like the way women in a group always seem to be waiting for the first to leave so they can talk about them. This is the reason I am always first to leave, I am contrary by nature. I don't distrust men in the same way, I tend to trust them until they prove they can't be trusted. Men don't intimidate me at all. Can you see where our differing viewpoints have emanated from now?!

I like you lunarlinda because of your honesty and (this next bit is a generalisation, and it's not necessarily true, but it's how my experiences have made me feel) I seldom see that sort of honesty in other women ( but there are quite a few others on this thread, who I like and respect for the same reason too.) I often see that in men, but hey, as I said I am biased, I know that.

In return women often distrust me, this happens at 'Hello' and remains with them. It's their problem, not mine. I have been told I can intimidate them too, God knows how, but there you are. During my pre-school years the only kids I had any social contact with were boys. This wasn't really a problem to me until my teenage years, when other girls did not understand me, so you can probably guess the sort of names they called me. It didn't hurt because it wasn't true. I'd just smile and walk away, I thought it was hilarious, they were jealous and wanted to be closer to the boys too...so did they do whatever it was I did, learn from it? No they insulted me. The boys weren't impressed and I just thought it was funny.

So maybe you can see why I was supporting the male side of this argument now. It's the one I understand the most. I do have heaps of respect for you though lunarlinda, so you're not included in the rant above.xx
 
Thank you Zand, and now I understand it from your viewpoint.

I do know what you mean about bitchy women, but I just keep away from them anyway, and wouldn't even attempt to try to be friendly with them as I don't like gossiping back stabbers, I prefer the direct approach. ( You may not be aware of this ) :playful: .

My husband was in the Army, and the camaraderie they experience there is fantastic. I've never felt like that about any group or team I've been in. I am really quite envious.

I just know (most) women are strong, under valued and are more capable than men. We can accomplish more, multi task, nurture, educate and give to everyone else before themselves. I personally don't know any men that can do that. ( not saying there aren't any though).

I don't have any friends at all, and I don't want any, though I have some virtual palls on here.

I don't trust people in the main, so if you don't let them get to know you, if they do talk about you it is based on presumptions, not facts.

I am a Humanist, and I hate suffering, and unfairness, whatever the gender. If Designerman would rejoin the thread and elaborate and I am wrong, then I'm adult enough to sincerely apologise. I have learned a valuable lesson today, so it has been a good experience for me personally. xx
 
lunarlinda said:
Thank you Zand, and now I understand it from your viewpoint.

I do know what you mean about bitchy women, but I just keep away from them anyway, and wouldn't even attempt to try to be friendly with them as I don't like gossiping back stabbers, I prefer the direct approach. ( You may not be aware of this ) :playful: .
Click to expand...
Lol, :)

lunarlinda said:
I just know (most) women are strong, under valued and are more capable than men. We can accomplish more, multi task, nurture, educate and give to everyone else before themselves. I personally don't know any men that can do that. ( not saying there aren't any though).
Click to expand...
Yes, I agree totally, I'm not sure I know of any men that can do that either.

lunarlinda said:
I don't have any friends at all, and I don't want any, though I have some virtual palls on here.

I don't trust people in the main, so if you don't let them get to know you, if they do talk about you it is based on presumptions, not facts.

I am a Humanist, and I hate suffering, and unfairness, whatever the gender. If Designerman would rejoin the thread and elaborate and I am wrong, then I'm adult enough to sincerely apologise. I have learned a valuable lesson today, so it has been a good experience for me personally. xx
Click to expand...

I so wish you lived near to me lunarlinda, I would love to be your friend. You would learn to trust me and I don't let my friends down. I have only 4, - 3 female and 1 male who I have known since my college days. I too enjoy the virtual friendships here though.

And lastly, though I'm not a Humanist I echo the rest of your sentiments in your last paragraph.:) Thanks for this chat, I hope Designerman 1 can see we're not that scary really


edit: PS sorry this reply took so long, I was watching the football.
 
I'm sure we would be trustworthy friends Zand. I think that is why I prefer the direct approach. You get to know more about a person who speaks their mind and says it as it is, rather than ***** footing around trying not to upset anybody by saying one thing, but believing another. You stood up to my comment that time and I respected you for that.

Catherinecherub has touched my soul today with her earlier post, and has renewed my faith in the prospect that there is man out there that would understand, and love me.
I appreciate I can come across as being scary, but if you met me, you would know that I'm just passionate about things. I am the first one there to help when I can. I just don't go about things in the right way, a personal lesson learned. :bag: xx
 
I've noticed that people who talk common sense, are willing to argue their viewpoint, question others, compliment, apologise, self examine and constantly learn, are often considered intimidating.

I've also noticed these people come in all shapes, sizes, types and sexes, but reluctantly admit that men rarely show as many of these qualities as women. Men specialise, women seem to be better all rounders.
 
If I lived with some who drank a bottle of wine every night, spent not only one hour but up to three in the bathroom getting her face on to be ready to face the world and refused me to bring food that was good for me into the house I too would seriously question the relationship.
 
I'm going to resume posting against my better judgement, but if I am attacked again, or told to leave the forums etc. over this subject I will stop posting in this thread and potentially delete my account. I will also inform moderators of the reasons I have been made to feel unwelcome by certain posters.

It is also galling to have to be made to feel compelled to explain myself. The short answers is - I shouldn't. Why on earth would I lie on an anonymous message board...I mean, really.

Having come back in from a day out with my partner that went well, this is not a pleasant reading experience - so much venting and anger, I have also removed some of my personal details off of my profile as I no longer feel comfortable with people seeing them due to the tone of some of the posts in this thread, and this morning I removed my previous avatar as it was one of my original pieces of artwork and is therefore traceable to my identity - I ask you forum browsers and posters, is that something you would want to have to do?

I can imagine your response is "You shouldn't be going about this in such a sneaky fashion" etc. But this subject I come to you with is difficult, private, this thread was meant to be a form of catharsis, a way to get the feelings off my chest, be guided by people who had gone through it, or at least knew what I was experiencing, what a shame it didn't turn out that way.

To me, the subject is embarrassing, and something that only select few trusted people know about in real life(Three people, of whom I trust implicitly). I didn't ask to feel this way, I didn't ask to be kept up at night with churning thoughts, feeling like I need to start again, feeling like I need to get away from my partner, feeling like something in my head is telling me to sell all my unnecessary possessions, I DIDN'T WANT THIS, I can't understand why it is happening to me. Yes I update with me and my partners squabbles, but that isn't really the heart of the matter. The heart of the matter was covered in my original post:

"But what I'm asking people here about is not the physical side effects of the gym, and the presumably even further tightened BG control but the mental side effects, because, I hate to say this, and I hate to feel like this, but I feel like I am having a midlife crisis. All the indicators are there, I'm seeking to improve my appearance and almost feel like someone in their early 20's - very appearance conscious, buying a lot of new clothes, feeling trapped in my personal situation with my partner of 15 years, and I feel terrible about that, simultaneously wanting to move on from her, and freedom away from her, but also fact I love her and don't really want to destroy the life we have built, but at the same time feeling hideously conflicted.

And I don't want people to think this is just some Narcissistic guy posting about his home life problems, and getting his diabetes off his chest, because I have questions...I'm trying to rationalise this, and this is the bit that's driving me to type out this lengthy diatribe at 1 am on a Thursday morning, when I know my alarm goes off at 7.

So, my questions:

Has anyone else experienced the same thing after diagnosis and getting their health back in order?

and, I'm sure this is purely an anecdotal thing, but could my high blood sugars have essentially 'fogged' my brain over a period of years that I am gradually recovering and repairing from, and this is just my normal self returning?"
​
Thanks for reading, and let's hope we can move forwards in a positive manner.

Designerman 1
 
Back
Top