"What have you eaten" Parallel Chat

[maglil55]

My brother had a Power of Attorney in place for quire a few of us. His worry was my SIL never had to deal with anything and he didn't want her not being able to cope. He was also well organised with their home. He transferred 50% of the ownership to the children a long time ago. The rest remains with SIL. The 7 year rule your are thinking about applies to Inheritance Tax. There are rules surrounding it. For example, if you transfer the entire property and go on living there, you have to pay rent to the new "owner". In their case he only transferred part of the property, so no rent was payable. There's a lot more to it but that's what you're thinking about. The solicitor is quite correct, councils are a whole different ball game and they can pretty much set aside any arrangement to get their hands on property if you have to go into care.
My 105 year old neighbour ended up in that situation. Her family did a great job with care but she would not move in with them when she could no longer manage (that was after she was 104! She was amazing). She had to go into private care and her house had to be sold to cover the cost.
The other option is to get the "free" care at home that they boast about in Holyrood constantly - free care for everyone who needs it when they need it? There are just not enough carers and I know from experience it is nigh on impossible to get it. Both my first brother who died and my sister, couldn't get care at all. Goodness knows how we would have managed without MacMillan. In my sister's case we had to employ a nurse. We managed, with the help of MacMillan (and my niece's dogged persistence) to get carers for my last remaining brother but boy was it a battle. The carers themselves were brilliant and we were lucky to have the same ones right through.
It just makes me so angry at their boasts when the truth is totally different. My old neighbour summed it up when she said it seems there's not much point in bettering yourself.
Rant over!

 

[maglil55]

At least making a start on the Power of Attorney gives me a little satisfaction. When my husband began to be affected by his Parkinsonism, a doctor suggested that we should look into making a Power of Attorney, just in case it should ever be needed. At that stage, although relatively immobile, he was very much "compos mentis" but within a few, short weeks, he was not and the management of his health and welfare fell to myself and Neil. This is why, despite only suffering some short term memory loss, I don't want to leave it too late.

It will also mean that either of them can draw cash for me from the bank, or ATM without us having to mess about transferring funds from my account to one of theirs. Oh what a wonderful thing it is to grow old (better if it didn't have all the issues that go with it). I used to think I was immortal but I know differently now. At least my head does, but somewhere inside me I still feel like about 20 and expect to stay at that age forever.

Remember to go to the bank with the PofA as they will issue ATM cards to the boys. My niece got a telling off from the bank for not doing this.

 

[shelley262]

At least making a start on the Power of Attorney gives me a little satisfaction. When my husband began to be affected by his Parkinsonism, a doctor suggested that we should look into making a Power of Attorney, just in case it should ever be needed. At that stage, although relatively immobile, he was very much "compos mentis" but within a few, short weeks, he was not and the management of his health and welfare fell to myself and Neil. This is why, despite only suffering some short term memory loss, I don't want to leave it too late.

It will also mean that either of them can draw cash for me from the bank, or ATM without us having to mess about transferring funds from my account to one of theirs. Oh what a wonderful thing it is to grow old (better if it didn't have all the issues that go with it). I used to think I was immortal but I know differently now. At least my head does, but somewhere inside me I still feel like about 20 and expect to stay at that age forever.

Well done on sorting power of attorney we did it several years ago so that proper plans in place especially with us having someone we care for who is totally dependent on us. We have sorted a few years ago too for Mum and it makes a huge difference to us all. It allows her to let us sort things for her legally and also we can sort out things such as bills etc on her behalf . Very very sensible seems a big step at the time but well worth it if it is needed in the future.

 

[Riva_Roxaban]

I updated my enduring power of attorney, will, Qld. Justice Dept health directive (living will) late last year, it's less for my partner to have to worry about when the time comes.

Missed out on a podiatrist visit the end of January, completely forgot about it as I did not enter it into Google Calendar at the time. It's gunna hurt my pocket when I make a new appointment today.

Just heard on the ABC radio that black spot mobile phone cameras have made $18 million since they were installed in Queensland.


https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-02...-fines-secret-cameras-mobile-phones/100817592

 

[Riva_Roxaban]

It's gunna hurt my pocket when I make a new appointment today.

Luckily I do not have to pay for the missed appointment, only my next one on the 4th March.

 

[MrsA2]

@Annb it might be worth looking to put one of the properties into a Trust, as I understand Neil has some kind of (excuse my terminology if it's wrong) special need. That might, and I'm no solicitor, at least protect it for him to live in for his life, even if it would revert to the council after he dies. There are pluses and minuses of Trusts but worth asking the lawyer.

 

[Annb]

@Annb it might be worth looking to put one of the properties into a Trust, as I understand Neil has some kind of (excuse my terminology if it's wrong) special need. That might, and I'm no solicitor, at least protect it for him to live in for his life, even if it would revert to the council after he dies. There are pluses and minuses of Trusts but worth asking the lawyer.

The idea of a trust has been suggested to me and I will certainly follow that up with my solicitor.

 

[Annb]

It's coming on for 3 am. I was so shattered last night that, at 11 pm, I left everything that needed doing (dishes mostly) and told Neil I'd sort it out in the morning. I must say, I was kind of hoping he would take over, but didn't want to ask him - his day had been a long one as well. I did get as far as my bed but then keeled over, fully dressed and slept until 2.10 am. Coming through to the kitchen I found ... the dishes all done for me and a bit of a tidy up done. I've said it before, and shall no doubt say it again - he's an angel.

 

[shelley262]

@Annb it might be worth looking to put one of the properties into a Trust, as I understand Neil has some kind of (excuse my terminology if it's wrong) special need. That might, and I'm no solicitor, at least protect it for him to live in for his life, even if it would revert to the council after he dies. There are pluses and minuses of Trusts but worth asking the lawyer.

@Annb I agree with @MrsA2 on this one it has been suggested to us and we are exploring with a special needs specialist solicitor as trusts are complex and of course there are differences not only between councils but also between Scottish and English law. We need to do something like this as our autistic adult son is in supported accommodation at moment and lump sums from something like an inheritance can be a minefield in the special needs area - not easy. So we’ve been looking at this from other angle if we both died and our house was sold an inheritance would affect all his social care package and make things complex for him.
I also wondered if the situation might be different for your different properties I know that a family member was living with his last remaining parent who cared for him but parent owned property. social services became involved when frail parent went into care home and was there for 4 years but because of situation the property was regarded as the sons home and so not used as collateral to pay for care home bills - but different council and 7 years ago now so no doubt it may have been interpreted differently by a cash strapped council. Just find out as much as you can so that you know you’ve done your best and then concentrate on living well.

 

[maglil55]

Glad to say SIL will not have to go back for a second operation. They did both operations on Tuesday which explains why she is so wiped out. She didn't know they were doing both and it appears they considered it was the best thing to do. Good news though that she won't have to recover just to go through it all again.
They are going to try to get her up and moving today after removing some tubes/drips. She's not sleeping well she says with machines beeping and she misses her own bed. When she gets out is dependent on when they get her moving. They are taking the morphine away today which is good too.

 

[Annb]

Glad to say SIL will not have to go back for a second operation. They did both operations on Tuesday which explains why she is so wiped out. She didn't know they were doing both and it appears they considered it was the best thing to do. Good news though that she won't have to recover just to go through it all again.
They are going to try to get her up and moving today after removing some tubes/drips. She's not sleeping well she says with machines beeping and she misses her own bed. When she gets out is dependent on when they get her moving. They are taking the morphine away today which is good too.

So glad to hear that your SIL is recovering and doesn't have to go through the same thing again after all. Hug for her and you for the concerns you have had on her behalf.

 

[MrsA2]

@Annb Have a read of this
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/informatio...me/do-i-have-to-sell-my-home-to-pay-for-care/

 

[Annb]

@Annb Have a read of this
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/informatio...me/do-i-have-to-sell-my-home-to-pay-for-care/

An interesting read. Basically it confirms that I'd just better not need to go into a care home. Family will just have to look after me at home, if it comes to that - unless the solicitor can come up with something along the lines of a trust.

 

[Annb]

Just had a phone call from the surgeon at Raigmore - apparently the delay has been caused by him consulting various anaesthetists about how to proceed with my case. The conclusion is that, since my heart looks OK, despite lung issues, he can do the surgery under a general anaesthetic, so he is willing to go ahead. This time, the idea is that I stay in overnight, so they can keep an eye on me (not in high dependency or anything) and out the next day, all being well.

So he's putting me on the list for 10th March. Hurrah - he did say that the lump was considerably bigger than when the previous surgeon saw it and I told him that it has grown even more since the scan that I had, so even more reason for a general to give him some room for manoeuvre.

 

[MrsA2]

An interesting read. Basically it confirms that I'd just better not need to go into a care home. Family will just have to look after me at home, if it comes to that - unless the solicitor can come up with something along the lines of a trust.

AgeUK is a very useful resource for anything age related.

 

[maglil55]

@Annb glad to see it's going ahead and not too much delay. SIL is expected to get out today. Her daughter is on her way from Manchester and her sis is coming to stay end of next week so there will be cover to look after her. I can be a "reserve" with half term taking place.

 

[maglil55]

Son and family got another dog. There's more animals than people in their house but this one is super cute (and small). 7 week old Luffy, the baby dachshund which Lincoln (the leonberger) is being very kindly to him despite him running in and out of his legs.

@Annb they are helping out a neighbour, walking their dog (they all tested positive for covid) so Lincoln goes for walks with a Newfoundland (you'll appreciate the size). Both dogs are big softies.

 

[shelley262]

Son and family got another dog. There's more animals than people in their house but this one is super cute (and small). 7 week old Luffy, the baby dachshund which Lincoln (the leonberger) is being very kindly to him despite him running in and out of his legs.

@Annb they are helping out a neighbour, walking their dog (they all tested positive for covid) so Lincoln goes for walks with a Newfoundland (you'll appreciate the size). Both dogs are big softies. View attachment 53370

Aww he so cute his doggie chew is almost bigger than he is !

 

[Antje77]

Son and family got another dog.

That picture is so cute it almost hurts!
And the little dachshund has the best friend imaginable!

 

[Annb]

Son and family got another dog. There's more animals than people in their house but this one is super cute (and small). 7 week old Luffy, the baby dachshund which Lincoln (the leonberger) is being very kindly to him despite him running in and out of his legs.

@Annb they are helping out a neighbour, walking their dog (they all tested positive for covid) so Lincoln goes for walks with a Newfoundland (you'll appreciate the size). Both dogs are big softies. View attachment 53370

Alistair and family are having difficulties with the St Bernard. She's over a year old now and, because of her early months, hasn't grown beyond the small puppy stage (when she couldn't do too much damage). She won't walk to heel, or even on the lead. She wrecks everything around her and now she can reach pretty well up to the ceiling, so putting things up high "out of reach" doesn't work. She has to be taken out for walks to give her exercise because she has managed to find a few places where the wind has damaged the fences and can get out and run wild if she is allowed out in the garden. Of course, at present, Alistair isn't fit to work on the fences. So she is being a bit of a problem. Banksie, at least, has calmed down considerably but still gets out of the garden, given half a chance. Braidie, at 16, is the only one who can hold them back, so the walking falls to him (he's not too happy about that - his gaming techie things call too loudly to him). He's a good lad, but was never very interested in any of the animals. Those were Em and her mum's.

Alistair is healing, but won't be able to get back to work this week as he had hoped. He's thinking of trying to get back next week on slightly lighter duties (ie, do the delivery but not the extra time standing and sorting parcels and packages). Then he can take his time doing the delivery without any extra pressure.