I had a really bad night with anxiety last night, the old familiar feelings of worthlessness and doom-dwelling on life's hardships and mistakes came creeping back in.
I absolutely hate those nights. Almost fall asleep, suddenly remember a thing you said or did yesterday or 35 years ago, and wanting to acutely stop existing from self-loathing, shame and guilt about the thing, even though no-one else is likely to remember.
Before my diagnosis, my depression/anxiety was bad enough to have my neighbours worried they'd find me dead at some point. It improved a LOT after diagnosis and bringing my BG down (with insulin in my case). So I strongly recommend trying to keep your diabetes as healthy as possible, for me, it's the strongest motivation to strive for non diabetic BG.
I also started high doses of vit. D at the same time as insulin because my levels were too low to measure, which may have helped as well.
The depression/anxiety has always stayed with me, sometimes worse, sometimes better. It never got as close to suicide again as when I had high BG all the time, but the possibility has never completely gone away.
Four months ago, something changed, and if I knew the cause of feeling better than I ever have in the last 30 years, I'd tell you right away!
I'll still share the things that have changed in the past year, all of which may or may not have played a role. Maybe it's of use.
For me, it's not the food (although I don't know what would happen on a high carb diet.) I've been eating LCHF for over 7 years, and haven't changed anything in the last 4 months.
- A year ago I started an iodine supplement because of some borderline thyroid levels. Levels back in the green now.
- I started going to the gym once a week, also a year ago.
- I started short swims in open water in October, usually 1 to 3 times a week and kept it up throughout the winter.
- Some 6 months ago I started a B12 supplement because my levels have been right on the lower edge of normal for years.
I have no idea which one of those has done the trick or if there is another cause I don't see at all. But I don't dare stopping with any of those things in case that particular thing is what makes me feel so much better.
Additionally we have:
- Physical contact with someone I like. But that one only started a couple of weeks after I started to feel better, so not the cause. It may well have helped to keep feeling good though, I might have dropped back into my usual gloom without this improvement in my life.
- More activity, both socially and tentatively sticking my foot into working.
Neither would have been possible before I felt better though, but again, possibly this one helps in maintaining this new mental state of looking forward to the day when waking up.
