Hi everyone,
I'm T2, currently not well controlled although the Dapagliflozin they've prescribed seems to be doing something to keep things relatively in check. I've struggled for years with my mental health, diagnosed with complex-PTSD, severe depression and anxiety.
I've been feeling over the last week or so that my depression is spiralling again, my eating is out of control and I basically have no ability to function as a normal human being. I have no ability to look after myself at all, it's like a brick wall goes up and my mind just shuts down and concentrates solely on reminding me constantly that I am worthless, useless and a complete waste of oxygen, oh, and with the intrusive thoughts and horrific images it conjures up as well.
I just feel that I can't take any more, the frightening thing is I know this is just the start, once the suicidal thoughts and urges start up it's like a living hell of fighting your mind to stay alive. When is enough really enough? Dr's can give me nothing that will help, I'm on a waiting list for psychotherapy but I've been told it will likely be over a year for this because of the waiting lists on NHS. I've asked for other treatments which have all been denied (including ECT), not appropriate for me apparently. Where else do I turn?
I don't understand why God just doesn't answer my prayers and let me go peacefully. Sorry for the very depressing post, I just had to get this out of my head.
Maggie
I'm T2, currently not well controlled although the Dapagliflozin they've prescribed seems to be doing something to keep things relatively in check. I've struggled for years with my mental health, diagnosed with complex-PTSD, severe depression and anxiety.
I've been feeling over the last week or so that my depression is spiralling again, my eating is out of control and I basically have no ability to function as a normal human being. I have no ability to look after myself at all, it's like a brick wall goes up and my mind just shuts down and concentrates solely on reminding me constantly that I am worthless, useless and a complete waste of oxygen, oh, and with the intrusive thoughts and horrific images it conjures up as well.
I just feel that I can't take any more, the frightening thing is I know this is just the start, once the suicidal thoughts and urges start up it's like a living hell of fighting your mind to stay alive. When is enough really enough? Dr's can give me nothing that will help, I'm on a waiting list for psychotherapy but I've been told it will likely be over a year for this because of the waiting lists on NHS. I've asked for other treatments which have all been denied (including ECT), not appropriate for me apparently. Where else do I turn?
I don't understand why God just doesn't answer my prayers and let me go peacefully. Sorry for the very depressing post, I just had to get this out of my head.
Maggie
