Diabetes manners

Lynz84

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344
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Hi All

Had a slightly off putting experience i want to share with you all. Can you let me know if Im being sensitive!

Out to dinner with the inlaws to be last night and my sister in law told me not to inject at the table as it would make people uncomfortable.

My first thought was, ok fair enough but as I was doing my injection in the toilets I felt quite embarrassed and angry. Its not like I whip my stomach out and do show and tell with my injections!! And making people uncomfortable? How about having to do the injections for uncomfortable!!! Grrr!

I guess im still a bit miffed. I felt embarrassed for the first time in 5 years about something I really shouldnt have.

If someone is uncomfortable of course I wont be rude but felt the sister in law was embarrassed by it as opposed to uncomfortable.

Sensitive or not?
 
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catapillar

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Aww that's rotten. I don't think you are being sensitive. If someone is made uncomfortable by you injecting, they have the luxury of looking away. I bet injecting isn't the favourite part of your day, but you've gotta do it, or you die. Of course you may want to pass on that message a bit more gently to your sister in law, but I would try and have a chat to her, explain what diabetes is, why you have to inject, how it made you feel to be banished to inject in the toilet like a leper and see what she says. To be generous to her, she could have some sort of acute needle phobia, but to be honest unless she was at risk of a major panic attack if she saw your 4mm needle I reckon your need to inject trumps her "discomfort" and even if that were the case, it's worth a chat to see if you guys can come to some understanding so that you can have dinner together and not have this be a problem again.
 
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Bizzy-Bee

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Hi @Lynz84. Not sensitive at all! I know it's difficult with in laws to say what you're feeling. It's not quite the same but I have a couple of friends who used to freak out when I did my injections because they don't like needles. I just said to them - try having to inject yourself multiple times a day and you'd get used to it. I just warn them when I'm about to inject and they look away.

It's not hygienic to inject in the toilets. It's also inconvenient enough being diabetic without having to run off and hide everytime you need insulin.

I would have a word with your fiancé about it and discuss the best way to approach it with your sister in law. You need to tell her that her comment was unfair and you shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about something you need to do to save your life.

Definitely not being too sensitive! x
 
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tim2000s

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Next time you see your sister in law, ask her why she is so sensitive to people injecting in front of her and tell her that you don't care if she is squeamish, you need to do it to stay alive.

The
my sister in law told me not to inject at the table as it would make people uncomfortable.
Statement is not about other people, it's someone reflecting their fear/anxiety/discomfort in a way that makes them feel better about doing it.

If you find yourself in a similar position again, simply say "No. If you find it uncomfortable, please look away". And then carry on.
 
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Hi All

Had a slightly off putting experience i want to share with you all. Can you let me know if Im being sensitive!

Out to dinner with the inlaws to be last night and my sister in law told me not to inject at the table as it would make people uncomfortable.

My first thought was, ok fair enough but as I was doing my injection in the toilets I felt quite embarrassed and angry. Its not like I whip my stomach out and do show and tell with my injections!! And making people uncomfortable? How about having to do the injections for uncomfortable!!! Grrr!

I guess im still a bit miffed. I felt embarrassed for the first time in 5 years about something I really shouldnt have.

If someone is uncomfortable of course I wont be rude but felt the sister in law was embarrassed by it as opposed to uncomfortable.

Sensitive or not?

No not sensitive. We can inject discreetly at the table, we no longer have huge syringes, everything is much smaller and inoffensive. So, basically I would of asked why and then a given my answer back and carried on at the table and asking why or just carrying on is not being rude, you were put in a awkward position at the table and as 'female' most don't want to rock the boat or cause upset and awkwardness to others, I bet most men wouldn't of backed off. We don't do this for recreational pleasure, it's a life saver and the sooner people get used to that, the better. Would she complain about an inhaler being used, eye drops, making room for someone in a wheelchair or a cancer patient with no hair ?? Take care and keep your chin up:)
 
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pinewood

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When I was first diagnosed (makes it sound like I've been diagnosed for ages, but it was only < 18 months ago!) I was so embarrassed about injecting in public and anyone seeing me. I used to go to the toilets to do it when out, which is disgusting and not a pleasant experience.

Now I've learnt to not care about it and luckily, so far, I have not had any nasty looks or comments. It is really so sad that your sister in law felt the need to make such a horrible comment; even if it was not meant in that way. These days our pens are so discreet - and needles so tiny - that I really find it difficult to believe it really makes anyone "uncomfortable" and, as others have pointed out, they don't need to look anyway.
 
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azure

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I would have just told her to look away. Unless she has a severe needle phobia, what you do is none of her business.
 
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Juicyj

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Sadly as said above it's about her projecting her fears and anxieties on you, so in some respects you have to feel sorry for how she feels, however that's not your issue here.

I am sure you are like me, discreetly injecting under the table at a point where attention is not on you and you can have 10 seconds to prime the pen and inject and hold, all done quickly and without drawing attention. My uncle on the other hand would sit in the armchair pull up his top and find a roll of fat then inject, I think it was the sight of naked flesh that made me squirm !! We know he has to do it so that's not the bother, but the white flesh lol !! Let's not go there !!!
 
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staffsmatt

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Could it be that she's got a needle phobia (or knows someone else at the table that does) and didn;t want to just come out and say that? Like others have said though she can always look away!
 
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AndyS

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Me: "Hey look over there!"
Them: "What? Where"
Me: "All done"

As has been said we didn't choose this and we HAVE to do it to stay alive (and annoying people in my case).
So I just tell people to look away since I flat refuse to go do it in the toilets.

Last person who said they had a needle phobia to me actually then looked at the needle and commented on how tiny the needle was anyway.

/A
 
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Mike d

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my sister in law told me not to inject at the table as it would make people uncomfortable.

Spoken out of sheer ignorance ... that's akin to saying you're offended if someone happened to use an inhaler for asthma. Teach her that one and see if she has an answer. She will shut up quick smart.

Mike :)
 
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Bluemarine Josephine

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Hello!
I very much sympathize with the way you feel.

Do you want to hear a different story?
My partner (addressing my diabetes issue to his parents) : “Josephine has type 1 diabetes and she needs to have 5 injections a day to handle her disability. (Seriously, he dropped the word “disability” on the table.)
My partner’s mother: “Oh… couldn’t you just bring us a girl that doesn’t have to suffer from a deadly disease?”
They all giggled... apparently this was funny...

Regards
Josephine
 
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Lynz84

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344
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Hello!
I very much sympathize with the way you feel.

Do you want to hear a different story?
My partner (addressing my diabetes issue to his parents) : “Josephine has type 1 diabetes and she needs to have 5 injections a day to handle her disability. (Seriously, he dropped the word “disability” on the table.)
My partner’s mother: “Oh… couldn’t you just bring us a girl that doesn’t have to suffer from a deadly disease?”
They all giggled... apparently this was funny...

Regards
Josephine
Oh josephine thats so terrible!!!! I hate the label of disability!! Hope he got the cold shoulder for a while after that.
 
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Lynz84

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Guys cant believe some of the ignorance!! Youve made me feel a bit less crazy though so thank you!
 
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AndyS

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Hello!
I very much sympathize with the way you feel.

Do you want to hear a different story?
My partner (addressing my diabetes issue to his parents) : “Josephine has type 1 diabetes and she needs to have 5 injections a day to handle her disability. (Seriously, he dropped the word “disability” on the table.)
My partner’s mother: “Oh… couldn’t you just bring us a girl that doesn’t have to suffer from a deadly disease?”
They all giggled... apparently this was funny...

Regards
Josephine
Wait, really?!!

Well that is just plain rude as well.
Were the roles reversed between me and my Mrs and I had been the one saying something like that I suspect she would have slapped my round the back of the head. What's more I think I would have agreed I deserved it.

Going back to @Lynz84 No you are definitely not crazy, well at least in this instance I don't think I could comment for anything else ;)
 
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Bluemarine Josephine

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Oh josephine thats so terrible!!!! I hate the label of disability!! Hope he got the cold shoulder for a while after that.

Here is the rest of the story.
When I raised the issue, privately, explaining that describing my diabetes as a disability brings me discomfort, my partner’s reply was “but, darling, I am willing to help you with your disability because it is painful to see you try so hard…”

I believe that I may sound absurd to some people but, can you believe that I felt so hurt inside that, since then, the thought of leaving him is constantly on my mind? I felt that a person who describes me as disabled and tells me that my efforts have become painful to watch, is certainly not a person of my own…

And then I bring in mind the hypothetical question that friends will ask ‘Why did you break up with Steve?” what would my reply be… “Because he called me disabled?” or should I describe his family’s reaction?

People will think I am crazy…

So, please don’t feel bad. People become stupid when it comes to diabetes. In your situation, if there was a person missing a leg or eyesight at the table no one would dare say ‘Oh I cant eat with you because you are missing a leg/are blind”. Political correctness would never allow them to verbalize such an insensitive reaction (even if they thought about it).

With diabetes, I don’t know why, people are insensitive…

Regards
Josephine
 
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Mrsass

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My sister in law has a really bad needle phobia which I am fully aware of, at family meals etc I would always inject at the table (have a pump now so don't have to) and would either mention to her before I did it so should could look away or if she was in conversation etc with someone and I thought she wouldn't notice I'd just do it and not say anything.. Some people can be extremely rude, some are just silly and don't think about what they say, either way I wouldn't have went and injected in a public toilet but that's just me and my utter stubbornness :)
 
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ElkBond

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Looks like I need to upgrade then - unless I am at home I always find the loos to inject.
 
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azure

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I see it as sense not stubborness @Mrsass :)

When I was on MDI my DSN told me not to inject in toilets and went into rather disgustingdetail about the germs - airborne ones as well as on the surfaces.

I do think it's polite to tell people sitting right beside you what you're about to do, if only so they don't accidently jog you!
 
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Daibell

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I always inject at the table (discreetly) and no one has ever had an issue with it. Just carry on.
 
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