Feeling lost

[tp94]

Hello everyone,

This is my first time posting on here...
I've had diabetes since I was 10, I'm now 23, after a few years of good control, I went off the rails and have now only just started to take this illness seriously again.

It's not been too difficult to get back into the swing of it but I just keep asking myself- What's the point?

I continuously think that every twinge is neuropathy, that I'm going bling because I'm sensitive to light in the mornings and that it won't matter anyway because I'll be dead in a few years from these complications.

Ive been having some dark thoughts, and the only conclusion i can come to is that I can't die yet as I'll disappoint my family. It's such a pathetic post, but I'm finding it hard to see the positives when my health is only set to decline at a faster pace than a normal persons even with excellent control. I'd appreciate any advice, once again, sorry for the rather bleak post.

Thanks,

Person Lost.

 

[NewTD2]

Don’t give up. Life is worth living.

Think about your family and friends, I’m sure they all love and care for you.

I find comfort in praying as I am a devoted Christian.

 

[Kittycat_7_]

Hi,
I'm ever so sorry your struggling, please see your GP ASAP about feeling low and the suicidal thoughts.
I'm here to listen.
Do you have much support?
Hope these feelings pass very quickly.
How is your diabetes control now?
Hope you feel better very soon
Take care

 

[Guzzler]

There are many, many T1 members here who lead exceptionally normal lives despite the condition. I am positive that speaking with them will convince you that T1 does not have to shorten or curtail your life. You wait, they will be along shortly. Best wishes.

 

[EllieM]

Yup, I've been a T1 for 47 years, with absolutely atrocious control in my teens and early twenties, and had several periods of mediocre/bad control since then. I've made a big effort to improve my control and lifestyle over the last 5 years, though. Complications? So far, only very very minor, and none that have required medication or affected the activities I can do. You don't have to be perfect to lead a normal life, though honestly I feel much better when my blood sugars are in reasonably normal ranges. At your age I'd still be hoping for a long term cure (or at least much better treatments) and keeping your blood sugars under control will both make your life easier and minimise any possible complications.

Good luck, I've been where you are today. Things got better for me, they can for you too.

 

[kevinfitzgerald]

Absolutely agree @EllieM . I've had Type 1 for 37 years. Twenty of which I was in active alcoholism and a thirty a day smoker!

No longer smoke or drink and I'm still about, haven't lost any limbs, kidneys and heart seem to be in good nick and at my last eye appointment at the Royal Free was told that my retinopathy has all but gone!

I work full time and basically do everything the majority of non diabetics do.

Obviously I have some complications such as neuropathy but considering where I was I'm doing ok.

Keep at it, As was stated above @EllieM there are many of us that have been where you are and have pulled through. Don't allow the negativity to outweigh the positives.

Plenty on here to support and give guidance.

Kev

 

[AdamJames]

Hello everyone,

This is my first time posting on here...
I've had diabetes since I was 10, I'm now 23, after a few years of good control, I went off the rails and have now only just started to take this illness seriously again.

It's not been too difficult to get back into the swing of it but I just keep asking myself- What's the point?

I continuously think that every twinge is neuropathy, that I'm going bling because I'm sensitive to light in the mornings and that it won't matter anyway because I'll be dead in a few years from these complications.

Ive been having some dark thoughts, and the only conclusion i can come to is that I can't die yet as I'll disappoint my family. It's such a pathetic post, but I'm finding it hard to see the positives when my health is only set to decline at a faster pace than a normal persons even with excellent control. I'd appreciate any advice, once again, sorry for the rather bleak post.

Thanks,

Person Lost.

I can't claim to understand the mental burden of having Type 1, but for totally different reasons there have been occasions when I've got quite low and to the point of thinking that the main reason to stay alive is to be there for family, particularly my elderly mother who would be devastated if I disappeared.

First of all: being there for family is a perfectly valid reason to want to stay alive, and you've thought of it. That's a firm foothold in life.

Second of all, at my lowest, I just trundled on, feeling like there was no point but doing it anyway, and then eventually things just changed. My circumstances didn't change, but my desire to be alive did. I don't know why. I'm so glad I am still here. There's so much to do in life, even before you leave the house.

I find that learning something new can help you escape the circumstances you are unhappy with. Literally anything from reading a book, to learning how to tie a difficult knot. It's something new in your life, something that wasn't there before, and it helps you realise that you can always add new things to your life: your options are open, it's not all dead ends. You are no longer walking down a narrowing tunnel, you are walking in the opposite direction.