Finding it tough ?

Patrick66

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This is the first time I’ve ever gone and read a blog. Anywhere. About anything. Im now inspired to explore this new (to me) means of communication.
And mine was the first you read ? I’m honoured.

Still, it’s always best to start at the:) bottom and work your way up
 
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HSSS

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It took me 6 years to get a diagnosis. But then, as I was older, masking hid...diluted some of my traits.
I seem to mask permanently and I hate not being the real me.
I think a lot of adults don’t bother to get diagnosed. There’s little support out there even if you do. I have two asd family members. One formally diagnosed the other not but it’s undeniable and very clear. A third has strong traits but may or may not reach diagnostics criteria. From my perspective it wasn’t the diagnosis that helped, certainly not the lack of support out there, but the understanding of what’s different and where the challenges are and why and how to “translate” between my NT world and their ASD world to smooth the interactions and help minimise stress and confusion and hurt on both sides. I believe I’ve ended up masking my NT’ness in order to ease family life. It’s exhausting and although I don’t have to do it with the rest of the world it does give me a sense of your frustrations. I see the struggles my lot have and the relief when they get home and can be themselves.

You’ve mentioned anxiety and inability to enjoy experiences. I’ve never heard the term but I know this can be a feature of depression common in autism. Has this been considered?
 
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Patrick66

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Okay, this is probably going to sound silly, but... I get the impression you know a bunch of things about a bunch of subjects. Any chance you could teach community college classes? On Egypt, travel, autism, taxes, all of the above? Contact with people is relatively one-sided as they're mostly busy listening to you, so not as much interaction as one might think...

I won a photography class and last year we hit the city of Amersfoort with the teacher, a professional photographer. It was nuts, and I did have one single panicattack, (Just one! And everyone was really nice about it too...!) but the results.... I think they were probably the best pics I've ever taken, streetphotography-wise. I had the least technical knowledge of the class at that moment, (which teach fixed as well), but the teacher, during the evaluation, gave me the best scores. By far. Said I had a professional's eye for it. Still makes me blush to think about it, but while it made me really uncomfortable, it also made me... I dunno... proud, I guess? Which I'm not used to being of myself.. It gave me such a boost, and it made quite a difference for me. And I've invested in a second camera, it came in today.... So I'm back to carrying around two of them. (I used to, but the ones I had were too heavy for my back. System camera's are lighter. Anyway....). You don't need teacher qualifications to do it far as I know, and I do think you have enough to share... It is a chance to make a difference, sharing what you know, and making a decent extra buck for traveling/a bit of freedom. IF, of course, that is something you'd want to persue.

Just something I thought about over dinner. Probably absolutely useless, because I don't know what your limitations are, but... The classes or lectures on ancient Egypt I'd certainly like to take myself. looking forward to more blogs, in any case.
The problem is that I don’t know enough to teach.

And these days, unless you’ve got the dreaded qualification, they won’t let you anywhere near a classroom as there’s been a big fuss about unqualified teachers. Once, a long time ago, in my history Advanced level, we used to have a class where we went off topic and talked about anything. I actually gave a lecture on Freemasonary which was my special interest at the time.

It is frustrating though, not being able to do something you love. I’ve applied for many jobs in the industry but, curiously, despite the fact I have travelled, they prefer students with fancy degrees in tourism who have never set foot outside the country. Experience counts for nothing, sadly.
 

Patrick66

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I think a lot of adults don’t bother to get diagnosed. There’s little support out there even if you do. I have two asd family members. One formally diagnosed the other not but it’s undeniable and very clear. A third has strong traits but may or may not reach diagnostics criteria. From my perspective it wasn’t the diagnosis that helped, certainly not the lack of support out there, but the understanding of what’s different and where the challenges are and why and how to “translate” between my NT world and their ASD world to smooth the interactions and help minimise stress and confusion and hurt on both sides. I believe I’ve ended up masking my NT’ness in order to ease family life. It’s exhausting and although I don’t have to do it with the rest of the world it does give me a sense of your frustrations. I see the struggles my lot have and the relief when they get home and can be themselves.

You’ve mentioned anxiety and inability to enjoy experiences. I’ve never heard the term but I know this can be a feature of depression common in autism. Has this been considered?
Anhedonia ?. Like depression and anxiety disorders can be @ co-morbid condition. I have Dysthymia which is chronic depression over a long period so yes, it’s been considered and acknowledged although Anhedonia of itself, is very hard to diagnose as it relies on personal account rather than anything that can be observed.
 

HSSS

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The problem is that I don’t know enough to teach.

And these days, unless you’ve got the dreaded qualification, they won’t let you anywhere near a classroom as there’s been a big fuss about unqualified teachers. Once, a long time ago, in my history Advanced level, we used to have a class where we went off topic and talked about anything. I actually gave a lecture on Freemasonary which was my special interest at the time.

It is frustrating though, not being able to do something you love. I’ve applied for many jobs in the industry but, curiously, despite the fact I have travelled, they prefer students with fancy degrees in tourism who have never set foot outside the country. Experience counts for nothing, sadly.
Is this true for adult classes? I can appreciate it for the under 18’s but just about anyone seems to be to do evening classes/adult education courses.
 
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HSSS

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And mine was the first you read ? I’m honoured.

Still, it’s always best to start at the:) bottom and work your way up
Hey! take the compliment, without the self criticism. . I was inspired.

Or was that kitedoc’s self humour in play? Apologies if so.
 
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Patrick66

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Is this true for adult classes? I can appreciate it for the under 18’s but just about anyone seems to be to do evening classes/adult education courses.
It seems to be.

Or else they want a certain level of knowledge. I suppose everyone is accountable and they have to be careful of who they allow to “teach”.
 

Patrick66

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978
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Type 2
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People. Noise. Swearing. Many foods.
Hey! take the compliment, without the self criticism. . I was inspired.

Or was that kitedoc’s self humour in play? Apologies if so.
Ah, it’s always humour. I like to use self-humour.
 

JoKalsbeek

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The problem is that I don’t know enough to teach.

And these days, unless you’ve got the dreaded qualification, they won’t let you anywhere near a classroom as there’s been a big fuss about unqualified teachers. Once, a long time ago, in my history Advanced level, we used to have a class where we went off topic and talked about anything. I actually gave a lecture on Freemasonary which was my special interest at the time.

It is frustrating though, not being able to do something you love. I’ve applied for many jobs in the industry but, curiously, despite the fact I have travelled, they prefer students with fancy degrees in tourism who have never set foot outside the country. Experience counts for nothing, sadly.
I know... It is frustrating. I'm supposed to be a journalist, but I can't even leave the house on my own. Was offered a "job" editing the local homeless paper back in Tilburg, but it freaked me out that they even asked, because meetings... Nuh uh! Then my articles weren't welcome anymore. (Which I find ironic, because weren't they supposed to be able to work with people who were vulnerable in one sense or another?) I translated press releases for a few months, but then they kept paying my earnings to the wrong bank account and they didn't respond to my e-mails... And I just couldn't call them, so I was fired for being difficult and "whining" about my lack of payment. If I could only do stuff alone. And it's not just in tourism, rest assured.... Journalism isn't about being able to write, it's about a Master's in Communication. Not even journalism. Go figure. I did get the journalism papers, but only after I'd been published in the UK, Canada, the Netherlands and the US... But all that was unpaid work. And by the time I was technically qualified, I was mentally too far gone to hold a job. I know stuff, I can do stuff... But a whole lot of good it does me.

And I'm not saying all that to throw myself a pity party. I just hear you, I know where you're coming from. That's what I mean.

So even if things look grim... At least you can leave the house. That's something. ;)

Freemasonry... Interesting too!
 
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joeynomates1969

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Hi Patrick. I too have been through a lot, losing my parents when I was young, my brother committed suicide when I was 16 years old. I've also suffered abuse so I haven't had it easy. I think I am autistic...I also gave birth to 3 autistic kids so you can understand the magnitude of stress I have! I'm type 2 and I struggle to deal with this diabetes. I struggle with depression too, but have been told that my depression is caused by my high blood sugars and that I am in a vicious circle...which is very true. I long to get fit and healthy but I simply can't be ***** most of the time to put my best foot forward and start. I was given insulin t take to help get my bloods down, but I just put on the weight really quickly. I was swelling up too, but the nurse just said I was bluffing and that things like that don't happen! I still think but was a reaction to the insulin.

Do I think I'd be better off not being here? Every **** day, but Its having my children that stop me from doing daft!

But this isn't about me. I'm just letting you know that you're not alone and that there are a lot of people around who do understand. We just have to try and find the strength to fight it. X
 

Patrick66

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978
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People. Noise. Swearing. Many foods.
Hi Patrick. I too have been through a lot, losing my parents when I was young, my brother committed suicide when I was 16 years old. I've also suffered abuse so I haven't had it easy. I think I am autistic...I also gave birth to 3 autistic kids so you can understand the magnitude of stress I have! I'm type 2 and I struggle to deal with this diabetes. I struggle with depression too, but have been told that my depression is caused by my high blood sugars and that I am in a vicious circle...which is very true. I long to get fit and healthy but I simply can't be ***** most of the time to put my best foot forward and start. I was given insulin t take to help get my bloods down, but I just put on the weight really quickly. I was swelling up too, but the nurse just said I was bluffing and that things like that don't happen! I still think but was a reaction to the insulin.

Do I think I'd be better off not being here? Every **** day, but Its having my children that stop me from doing daft!

But this isn't about me. I'm just letting you know that you're not alone and that there are a lot of people around who do understand. We just have to try and find the strength to fight it. X

I had depression long before high blood sugars. I think I have always had depression in one form or another. If this operation wasn't looming for me and I had to get fit for it then I would probably just be meandering along. Its quite easy to do and motivation is usually somewhat lacking in me.
Life can be a real pain sometimes and you just have to pause for breath and say, enoughs enough, something has to change. And if I can do it then so can anyone, perhaps.
I was step-dad to two Autistic children before I was diagnosed. My ex-wife said she recognised me in them. Pity she never said anything until years after we divorced.

Oh well, water under the bridge. Stay strong.
 

briped

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@Patrick66 Thanks so much for letting me peep through the crack of the door to your world. Your blog boring? No way. Actually, after reading the first few paragraphs I thought 'that guy should be published'. I think that even if the topic were boring to me, which it isn't, you'd be able to make it so interesting, and feel like reading more.
Your last sentence "Catch you soon. I hope.". I certainly hope so too.
 

Patrick66

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Messages
978
Type of diabetes
Type 2
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Tablets (oral)
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People. Noise. Swearing. Many foods.
@Patrick66 Thanks so much for letting me peep through the crack of the door to your world. Your blog boring? No way. Actually, after reading the first few paragraphs I thought 'that guy should be published'. I think that even if the topic were boring to me, which it isn't, you'd be able to make it so interesting, and feel like reading more.
Your last sentence "Catch you soon. I hope.". I certainly hope so too.
That's very kind.
I will certainly try and get a blog up at the weekend. I get the feeling it will have a travel flavour to it...
 

Patrick66

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978
Type of diabetes
Type 2
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People. Noise. Swearing. Many foods.
Sounds great. I can't wait 'to go travelling' with you :)

There's a new blog post up "Travels in a nutshell"- an overview; a taste of things to come. Enjoy.