- Messages
- 112
- Type of diabetes
- Type 2
- Treatment type
- Other
I’m near the end of my third week since diagnosis and still have quite a lot of weight to lose. I’m going low carb but NOT keto level low as I want to keep vegetables in my diet.
Did any other type 2’s who got this disease through bad lifestyle find it very hard to not associate food with feeling ashamed and disgusted at yourself, and guilty about eating because eating was what got you into this mess in the first place? (I’m not saying this is the case for every type 2 diabetic but it’s what I feel about myself.) I simply cannot foresee ever being able to enjoy or get pleasure from food again, and feel like I don’t deserve to.
I’m deliberately making the food I cook taste bland and boring by over cooking and not seasoning, and sometimes sprinkling baking soda on it to make it taste actually bad. The first few meals I didn’t do this and was okay, but the last week or so if I make something that doesn’t taste bad or bland I feel like I didn’t deserve to eat it and throw it up.
I know this is a bit messed up but I’m hoping I’m not alone in these kind of feelings. I have become very depressed since my diagnosis including not being able to function at work (bursting into tears when someone tried to pressure me into having a piece of cake after I repeatedly said no), not being able to feel engaged or energised by anything, not being able to visualise a future, thinking about suicide.
I’ve made an emergency appointment with my GP for tomorrow to discuss antidepressants even though I’m terrified about the weight gain, and even though it costs $100 more for a weekend appointment.
Did any other type 2’s who got this disease through bad lifestyle find it very hard to not associate food with feeling ashamed and disgusted at yourself, and guilty about eating because eating was what got you into this mess in the first place? (I’m not saying this is the case for every type 2 diabetic but it’s what I feel about myself.) I simply cannot foresee ever being able to enjoy or get pleasure from food again, and feel like I don’t deserve to.
I’m deliberately making the food I cook taste bland and boring by over cooking and not seasoning, and sometimes sprinkling baking soda on it to make it taste actually bad. The first few meals I didn’t do this and was okay, but the last week or so if I make something that doesn’t taste bad or bland I feel like I didn’t deserve to eat it and throw it up.
I know this is a bit messed up but I’m hoping I’m not alone in these kind of feelings. I have become very depressed since my diagnosis including not being able to function at work (bursting into tears when someone tried to pressure me into having a piece of cake after I repeatedly said no), not being able to feel engaged or energised by anything, not being able to visualise a future, thinking about suicide.
I’ve made an emergency appointment with my GP for tomorrow to discuss antidepressants even though I’m terrified about the weight gain, and even though it costs $100 more for a weekend appointment.