HATE MYSELF

[docssj]

hey all and hope we all feelin okay .

I on the other hand are not I cant bare to look at myself I measured myself and im at 60inch waist where did I go wrong my blood sugars are so off the chart that I go from 2-4 units of insulin to 18 units of insulin (mealtime injection) I saw the doctor last week and I phoned the diabetic clinic it seems like im doing the right thing but my weight is so **** outta control have been advised against doing the insanity workout maybe tryin slow and steady although I do walk and have major cals burnout most days this time last year I weighed 14 stone 0lb with a waist of 47inch and totally off insulin. which I managed till august till we started trying for a family for which had to go back on insulin
I keep getting stupid chest pains the weight is making me so **** depressed I feel helpless

I was gonna start 1000 daily calories with a miklaya dodds workout dvd its good place as any to start I think I have gotta focus

love

S.J
xx

 

[captainpixie]

I have found that with weight loss or gain there is always going to be bad periods either way and sometimes there short and sometimes there long and it sucks monkey nuts big time!
Being honest is a big step when it comes to eating habits, what you eat, when you eat and how much. Sleeping pattens as well can Have a big impact on your body too. I don't really know what your doctor or nurse have advised but maybe see if you can get a referral to your local weight clinic. It's not always about what you eat, when It comes to weight gain or loose.
I really hope you manage to get back on track, I wish you all the best,


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[hawnet]

Hi S.J.

Its good to be angry because you can turn that energy around and use it as a positive force to get yourself back into the wieght loss zone. I know how you feel but you have to start to reduce how much food energy you are giving your engine and up the exercise to burn your excess energy stored a fat.

less in + more out. (that's what I'm going to do)

You did it before now get back on that healthier lifestyle wagon.

 

[Lazybones]

Dear Docssj,
It's very easy for us to say don't hate yourself or get depressed over the weight issue, but this is something that is obviously of deep concern to you.
Realising where there is a problem and accepting it is the first and most important stage. The next is to act so that you beat the problem and I can see that you have the determination to do this. Don't try to loose too much weight too rapidly, cutting down to 1000 cals/day is a severe cut and setting too high an initial target can not only be harmful to the body but it can be further depressing if you fail at this, so cut back on your food intake slowly and try a little exercise that is within your capabilities ie: a short walk once/twice day graduall building up the distance covered.
As Hawnet says in the former posting, focus your anger against what diabetes has done to you and focus on your becoming the master and not its slave.
All the best for the future - Please let us all know how you get on.

 

[Daibell]

Hi. Unless you have some specific medical condition, then I'm afraid reviewing you diet is the only way forward. Taking insulin when you are overweight and hence insulin resistant is always going to be a problem as you are adding insulin to a body already overloaded with it. So, and I'm going to be a bit blunt here, forget calories and think carbs. The media is obsessed with calories for weight reduction but carbs are the evil food rather than fat. Yes, fat in excess also needs control but the highest priority is the carbs as they also affect blood sugar. Set yourself a daily limit of, perhaps, 150gm and use the meter to see how you are doing over a few weeks. This level can be reduced if needed. Keep an eye on your blood sugar whilst on a lower carb diet to avoid a hypo and reduce the insulin as necessary. I know it can be difficult to loose weight. My wife has lost 2-3 stone from 12 stone over the last few months by very strict low-carbing (she isn't diabetic). She was depressed about her weight as she was heavier than me! She is now slim and really pleased but it does require strict discipline to retrain the body to use ketosis (burn fat). She can now have a big meal with little effect on weight. Good luck and come back with any questions

 

[Thommothebear]

Completely agree, cut out starchy carbs in particular eg, potatoes, rice, pasta bread, pizza etc.

If you can go low carb so much the better, has worked wonders for me.


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[Mud Island Dweller]

l agree take a few hrs and read the low carb forum. Make 2 lots of notes as you go along one questions the other things you dont want to forget and then ask questions.
My eyeballs need recovery from reading posts on this forum....so much good advice my brain is fizzed and l am now a diabetic forum addict and you will find your best support here not obscure clinics :-D

 

[collectingrocks]

Hi, can you be really honest and list some of the things you eat - especially the snacky stuff !

 

[2christine]

I sometimes think im only here to feed my big fat lazy ass, then I give it a good kick and start life again.

 

[sugartoohigh]

SJ you've already started to long road back to health. You've admitted it. Not easy but look at it as a fresh start that can only get better. I gave in over x-mass and the New Year but we can all do it. Stick at it girl , you can do it

 

[luceeloo]

Knowing and accepting that you need to change is the first step in making that change.
Self-hate is something that most of us here can understand very, very well, and there is no real quick fix to that. I still have more moments of self-loathing than is healthy!
The key to making this work is making one small change each day. If you plan on exercising, don't reduce your calories to 1000. You'll drop weight quickly in the first few weeks, and then weight loss will slow to a standstill... I've been there, it's no fun.
Do you use My Fitness Pal ? It's a really good app to start with weight loss and food recording... it helps you calculate your calorie deficit and makes goals seem a lot easier.

Remember, there will always be unbelievably sh*t days during this process, but you CAN do it. x

 

[FatGenes999]

As someone who is not new to Health Forums or, to knowledge on health, in general, I am being very hard on myself for allowing myself to get T2 diabetes; I have fallen so far from my intentions of maintaining good health that it seems almost ludicrous, especially given what I know, particularly about my own genetic set-up. However, this is what is meant by being "only human". For anyone who beats themselves up as often as I do, maybe we should be telling ourselves that we should be grateful for forums like this one. I doubt I would be handling my diagnosis of diabetes as well as I am, without coming here.

 

[docssj]

hey all thanks for taking the time to reply well ive just had my hb1ac results and "YIPPEE WOOPWOOP"

HB1AC OCTOBER 2013 12.3 14th JAN 14 9.7
WEIGHT 1st DEC 2013 17 stone 10lb (248lbs) 14th JAN 14 16 stone 4lb (228)

to say have huge big lift and smile would be understatement however I don't know if I posted but I moved house on 18/12/13 and new house is full of mould and damp (private landlord) as of 14/1/14 ive been diagnosed with ASTHMA direct result of house
have been advised try take it easy for week or so till I settle inhalers suck big time.

in reply yes I am on myfitnesspal my username is docssj I log all my foods and exercise I use a endomondo and a hear rate monitor .
love
S.J
xxx

 

[Thommothebear]

Well done!

I have asthma as well, had it since 1980 after a bout of pneumonia. Mould is a pain, but the inhalers do work very well once you get used to them, which probably wont take very long.

In order to get you hba1c down further have you consider a low carb diet?


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[Daibell]

Well done and keep at it!

 

[beano1000]

to say have huge big lift and smile would be understatement however I don't know if I posted but I moved house on 18/12/13 and new house is full of mould and damp (private landlord) as of 14/1/14 ive been diagnosed with ASTHMA direct result of house


Re the above; I deal with looking after private landlords homes and this is a common problem particularly in older houses in the winter. It is usually (but not always) a case of managing the flow of moisture within the house, particularly with the black spore type damp that appears around windows and in corners. So unless the landlord has rising damp (not black) you need to ventilate and circulate all that hidden moisture in the air by keeping windows open or ajar, limiting the amount of boiling, showers and wet clothes and if necessary buying dehumidifyers (cheap plant pot type ones can be had from Wilko and hardware stores) Good luck

 

[Yorksman]

the weight is making me so **** depressed I feel helpless

I was gonna start 1000 daily calories with a miklaya dodds workout dvd its good place as any to start I think I have gotta focus

Good for you. Getting your mindset right will be a big help. Nothing is going to change quickly and it's better to think of this as something you are in for the long haul. If you aim for big change quickly, you will likely make yourself miserable, fail to meet a self imposed target and then seek comfort in your favourite snack. Most diets in the media are aimed at getting young women and men look good on the beach in summer. Hence they have a timescale. You don't. You're aim is to get healthy and any loss of weight, no matter how small, is less of a strain. Don't worry if it takes a year to lose a few inches, you can lose a few more the following year. You are not in a race.

We all like to see some reward for our efforts though but, rather than keep looking at scales or getting a tape measure out, I used to walk up a hill. I had to stop 6 or 7 times to begin with but after a few months I could get up without stopping at all. A sure sign that something was working.

 

[FatGenes999]

Well done, docssj! Wow, you lost 20 lbs in about one month if I'm reading your post correctly; that should help with a lot of issues. I'm asthmatic too. All of my medical concerns, including the asthma and diabetes, are based on systemic inflammation issues. As for the low-carb diet, I am back on it and also watching ingredients like hydrogenated oils which are added to snacks, like popcorn.
Keep us posted on your progress and concerns!

 

[docssj]

hey all and thanks for your reply I know a lot of people are sayin about low carbs.

however for me it doesn't work and per diabetic nurse and dietician I must keep my carbs min 120
the asthma is work and the situation the reason for the mould and damp is not a easy fix before we moved in the landlord told me the water tank got stolen (there was oil in the house but now gas) I use dehumidifiers and keep the bedroom window open all the time I wont bore yall with how cold it is as now the heating only now seems to work in the living room I wiped of most of the damp and thick black stuff and Tuesday with mould stuff and its just come back worse in the past few days ive 15 asthma attacks and had to be put on a nebuliser.
I suffer PTSD and have be honest mentally in the house I aint doing so good doctor has put me on sick for min of six months I have and keep in contact with lifeline.
one last thing the weight loss ive had is incredible and its due to stop thinkin bout the word DIET and started to see things as a lifestyle change

thanks for listening
love S.J
xxxxx

 

[FatGenes999]

Glad that you are losing weight, docssj. I would imagine that is the first step in getting your blood glucose into a normal range.

My BG readings today have been in a more positive and less fluctuating range; I use a lot of glucose-stabilizing supplements like cinnamon and ginger and garlic. I'm still experimenting, though, and I am insistent on getting my BG down to at least a pre-diabetic range, for now.
Even though I know that the BG "target" changes after one has crossed the line, I will ultimately ignore this "default" range and shoot for a totally normal range.

I relate to having to live in a cold apartment in order to keep fresh air circulating. My issue is with the second-hand cigarette smoke that travels through the apartment building I live in. Currently, mold is not a problem. I use a space-heater, and a humidifier, too, due to terribly dry air in the region I live in, as well as the acid-like lack of moisture that the second-hand smoke produces. It's a real juggling act between keeping fresh air circulating (sometimes in -40 temps) and not getting pneumonia. The alternative is getting chronic bronchitis and bronchial asthma from the second-hand smoke, which could lead to pneumonia anyway.