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Mad parents

lisacp

lisacp

Well-Known Member
Messages
106
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Good morning lovely people!
I am a type 1 diabetic and I have been looking around the forum for a couple of weeks now. I feel that I have a fairly good understanding of what I need to do in regards to carb/insulin ratios etc. .
My problem is my Mum and dad! Both are type two diabetics on tablets. They both suffer from being overweight especially my dad. They take their tablets but other than that make no effort to control their diabetes. Dad has serious problems with arthritis and problems with his hips so he is in a bit of a vicious circle in that he needs more excersize but can't because of mobility issues. They are both constantly complaining of feeling unwell ie sickness, tiredness, pain and I think depression. They don't really go out socially and I live a three hour drive away so it is difficult for me to keep tabs on them. Therefore they spend too much time together moaning and comparing medical ailments.
After looking around the forum I have noticed a lot of type 2 talking about low carb diets. Is this something that is recommended by doctors? I feel that I need more than my opinion to get them to change their carby ways. When people talk about low carb how low are you talking, should they cut it out completely? They won't! I don't think that they will change to be honest but I would like to try to help as I hate to see people that I love suffering.
Thank you
 
Print off the basic advice that @daisy1 provides for new members and see what they make of it, you never know..........
 
noblehead said:
Print off the basic advice that @daisy1 provides for new members and see what they make of it, you never know..........
Click to expand...

@lisacp

Hi Lisa and welcome to the forum :)

Here is the information which Noblehead suggested you print out for your parents. I hope you will find it useful. Ask as many questions as you like and someone will be able to help.


BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEW MEMBERS

Diabetes is the general term to describe people who have blood that is sweeter than normal. A number of different types of diabetes exist.

A diagnosis of diabetes tends to be a big shock for most of us. It’s far from the end of the world though and on this forum you’ll find over 140,000 people who are demonstrating this.

On the forum we have found that with the number of new people being diagnosed with diabetes each day, sometimes the NHS is not being able to give all the advice it would perhaps like to deliver - particularly with regards to people with type 2 diabetes.

The role of carbohydrate

Carbohydrates are a factor in diabetes because they ultimately break down into sugar (glucose) within our blood. We then need enough insulin to either convert the blood sugar into energy for our body, or to store the blood sugar as body fat.

If the amount of carbohydrate we take in is more than our body’s own (or injected) insulin can cope with, then our blood sugar will rise.

The bad news

Research indicates that raised blood sugar levels over a period of years can lead to organ damage, commonly referred to as diabetic complications.

The good news

People on the forum here have shown that there is plenty of opportunity to keep blood sugar levels from going too high. It’s a daily task but it’s within our reach and it’s well worth the effort.

Controlling your carbs

The info below is primarily aimed at people with type 2 diabetes, however, it may also be of benefit for other types of diabetes as well.
There are two approaches to controlling your carbs:

  • Reduce your carbohydrate intake
  • Choose ‘better’ carbohydrates

Reduce your carbohydrates

A large number of people on this forum have chosen to reduce the amount of carbohydrates they eat as they have found this to be an effective way of improving (lowering) their blood sugar levels.

The carbohydrates which tend to have the most pronounced effect on blood sugar levels tend to be starchy carbohydrates such as rice, pasta, bread, potatoes and similar root vegetables, flour based products (pastry, cakes, biscuits, battered food etc) and certain fruits.

Choosing better carbohydrates

Another option is to replace ‘white carbohydrates’ (such as white bread, white rice, white flour etc) with whole grain varieties. The idea behind having whole grain varieties is that the carbohydrates get broken down slower than the white varieties –and these are said to have a lower glycaemic index.
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/food/diabetes-and-whole-grains.html

The low glycaemic index diet is often favoured by healthcare professionals but some people with diabetes find that low GI does not help their blood sugar enough and may wish to cut out these foods altogether.

Read more on carbohydrates and diabetes

Eating what works for you

Different people respond differently to different types of food. What works for one person may not work so well for another. The best way to see which foods are working for you is to test your blood sugar with a glucose meter.

To be able to see what effect a particular type of food or meal has on your blood sugar is to do a test before the meal and then test after the meal. A test 2 hours after the meal gives a good idea of how your body has reacted to the meal.

The blood sugar ranges recommended by NICE are as follows:

Blood glucose ranges for type 2 diabetes
  • Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
  • 2 hours after meals: under 8.5 mmol/l
Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (adults)
  • Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
  • 2 hours after meals: under 9 mmol/l
Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (children)
  • Before meals: 4 to 8 mmol/l
  • 2 hours after meals: under 10 mmol/l
However, those that are able to, may wish to keep blood sugar levels below the NICE after meal targets.

Access to blood glucose test strips

The NICE guidelines suggest that people newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes should be offered:

  • structured education to every person and/or their carer at and around the time of diagnosis, with annual reinforcement and review
  • self-monitoring of plasma glucose to a person newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes only as an integral part of his or her self-management education

Therefore both structured education and self-monitoring of blood glucose should be offered to people with type 2 diabetes. Read more on getting access to bloodglucose testing supplies.

You may also be interested to read questions to ask at a diabetic clinic

Note: This post has been edited from Sue/Ken's post to include up to date information.
 
For older persons they have to want to change their diet and most of them still believe Practitioners.

Some parents also like to whinge about ailments to be honest.

It canbe difficult being so far apart from parents. I am in a cery similar situation but not regarding diabeic parents but my mum is generally pretty apathetic...and likes to talk about illness.....and she does have bouts of depression.

They can be encouraged but very little else especially when we are away from them.

Reducing bread, pasta, rice and potatoes would be a start. It is reducing the carbs not zero carbs. Veey difficult to survive on zero carbs!!

I think moaning and comparing medical ailments is just some peoples outlook as they get older to be honest. I have told my mum direct that she has nothing wrong with her physically for nigh on 80 years so be grateful!! But nope... She can't do it... She'll go out for a walk if I tell them they need to do it daily... However after two weeks they stop.

I've had to really now stop myself from getting wound up with them as the only person feeling bad constantly with worry was me... They didn't feel actual worry over anything but I think find it good to off load their ailments on others....its just how much others can take.

You can only advise on reducing carbs if they are like my faraway parents they won't actually do anything but rely upon medicines and moaning.

Sorry, it sounds awful but having recently had them stay with me for 5 days... Even now 3 weeks on and I am still wound up. Sounds awful when they are your parents but now I have come to the point that reality over readoning has had to take over for my wellbeing.
 
Morning, I hope your parents know what a thoughtful daughter they have. As they are lucky to have you looking out for them. What age are your parents, are they over 70 /80 or younger?. Some people just wont give up 'lifestyle choices' especially older people. Just try to be there for them and have a health chat with them, it may do some good or it may fall on deaf ears.
Good luck with your parents and wishing you all the best.

RRB
 
Hi lisacp
I would perhaps try the angle that they should be most familiar with -- that is you !
they will be aware hopefully of the issues surrounding you and what medical issues can occur if you do not look after yourself in the long term.
getting that light bulb switched on may take some effort on your part but you do have the experience of living with the condition yourself and many doctors admit their patients know much more about it..
My dad is type 2 but my early life experience gave my parents the knowledge to deal with it sensibly-- my mother makes low carb meals fairly often and of course I add my input on a regular basis on the phone even though I live 6000 miles away
 
Thank you donellysdogs and Robinredbreast.
You are both so right. They came to stay a couple of weeks ago by the time they left I thought that it might be a good idea to get myself adopted (I am 37)
They are not that old really 63 and 65 I know that is getting on a bit but when I see my friends parents many of which are in their 70s enjoying their retirement and their grandchildren it makes me realise how much older they seem. They do both have a good sense of humour and make jokes about being old, Ill and dying I told them I was going to buy them a one way ticket to Switzerland for Christmas as they both seemed to enjoy watching a documentary about the clinics out there. :)
 
lisacp said:
Thank you donellysdogs and Robinredbreast.
You are both so right. They came to stay a couple of weeks ago by the time they left I thought that it might be a good idea to get myself adopted (I am 37)
They are not that old really 63 and 65 I know that is getting on a bit but when I see my friends parents many of which are in their 70s enjoying their retirement and their grandchildren it makes me realise how much older they seem. They do both have a good sense of humour and make jokes about being old, Ill and dying I told them I was going to buy them a one way ticket to Switzerland for Christmas as they both seemed to enjoy watching a documentary about the clinics out there. :)
Click to expand...

Bless you, you have made me smile,:) what a wonderful sense of humour, actually I am 57, so just 6 years younger than your parent of 63 :arghh: but if you would like me to adopt you maybe with @donnellydogs perhaps? I'm sure we can arrange something amicable ;)

Best wishes to you, RRB
 
himtoo said:
Hi lisacp
I would perhaps try the angle that they should be most familiar with -- that is you !
they will be aware hopefully of the issues surrounding you and what medical issues can occur if you do not look after yourself in the long term.
getting that light bulb switched on may take some effort on your part but you do have the experience of living with the condition yourself and many doctors admit their patients know much more about it..
My dad is type 2 but my early life experience gave my parents the knowledge to deal with it sensibly-- my mother makes low carb meals fairly often and of course I add my input on a regular basis on the phone even though I live 6000 miles away
Click to expand...

Currently wishing I lived 6000 miles away!!
 
Robinredbreast said:
Bless you, you have made me smile,:) what a wonderful sense of humour, actually I am 57, so just 6 years younger than your parent of 63 :arghh: but if you would like me to adopt you maybe with @donnellydogs perhaps? I'm sure we can arrange something amicable ;)

Best wishes to you, RRB
Click to expand...

Oh yes please...!!!

So long as you don't also like my parents do just think of me as the cleaner, gardener and "diabetic" daughter.

Just an adopted daughter would be fab.

See, so miffed off I have to state my terms of being the adopted daughter.....
 
Robinredbreast said:
Bless you, you have made me smile,:) what a wonderful sense of humour, actually I am 57, so just 6 years younger than your parent of 63 :arghh: but if you would like me to adopt you maybe with @donnellydogs perhaps? I'm sure we can arrange something amicable ;)

Best wishes to you, RRB
Click to expand...
Oi, i'm up for first adoption,:)playful
 
Hi. Many practioners don't support low-carb diets as they rely on dated and invalid data still used by the NHS. As you will see on these forums we know that low-carb will in most cases help T2s keep blood sugar down. If you need to convince your parents, let them know that if you are on insulin you increase the amount as you increase the carbs to avoid blood sugar rising. Many in the NHS haven't yet spotted this so give opposing advice to T2s versus T1s; rather silly really.....Ask your parents to try low-carb; it works and they will find that.
 
You're a lovely daughter to be had.
I have one similar.
:cool:
I'm in my sixties love music getting out for a drive when I can but have mobility issues a lot of the time due to pain in my spine.
I'm as active as I can be but it's mostly mentally.
I try and make music play the guitar mess about with technology to manipulate sounds thinking I'm Vangelis Pink Floyd Hawkwind and generally enjoy life as much as possible.
Have kids and grandkids in my life.
Cook shop moan groan etc.
Please don't take this as some kind of insult or put down ....it's me being honest and no I never got a reference to be a social worker so .... what is their educational intellectual emotional spiritual levels all about?
The reason I ask is because I find it matters deeply how you approach things.
If they are vegetating on the soaps and crisps which millions their age are doing then it can be seriously difficult moving their thinking their approach to things. To just about everything in fact.
This is the to old to change now outlook.
Summer is near and getting them out of the house on picnics sightseeing relaxing paddling in the sea kind of days with an ice cream in hand and some laughter and memories of when you were a kid maybe .... is the ideal to get the moving going.
That's physically emotionally spiritually and intellectually.
I hope I'm making sense.
I'll come back to this thread if I know I haven't offended you in any way.
Maybe I can help you look at it in a positive way maybe not ... we never know till we try.
Love and peas.
 
Thanks JACK THE LAW I am not offended at all. Everyone's comments have been very helpful today and some have made me giggle. Kids keep asking what I am laughing at.:)
They are fairly intelligent but have a bad lifestyle. I grew up in a pub mum and dad lived a strange life working late, drinking sometimes too much! Eating takeaways late at night.
They are now retired they have a caravan and dad enjoys fishing but can't walk more than 100 meters without having to stop. They sit watching TV they like Jeremy Kyle:(
 
Sorry pressed send too soon.
I was at the hospital today and asked my dsn about low carbing, she refered me to the eat well plate but from what I have read on here that isn't the answer. I respect my dsn as everything that she has told me to do has worked well. I think they are intelligent people but I am starting to wonder as they don't seem to make any effort to help themselves, they just moan.
 
I would say that with a lot of people the issue is not taking ownership of the condition as though it is the doctors fault they are poorly and this is like a continuous circle of eating wrong food , not feeling beneficial effects of medicine , less exercise, and moaning about the way they feel.

the exact opposite is what is happening on this forum -- established low carbers helping lead loads of people joining up for the first time who are curious what this place is about and they are getting the right advice to minimise and eliminate high BG's.

maybe printing out some of the posts that have been made by our leading low carbers as to the benefits -- there are plenty such posts in many topics on here.
 
I have a similar situation with my grandmother, who has been type 2 for about 10 years and is on one tablet a day but eats whatever she likes. I think probably her doctor doesn't give her a hard time due to her age (she's now 86) and therefore the long term complications are unlikely to be an issue.

Whilst I've accepted she isn't going to change at this age, I do get frustrated when she takes issue with how I choose to handle my own diabetes - telling me I should eat what I want, a few doughnuts won't do any harm etc...

I think people have to initiate change themselves - you can try to inspire them by showing what can be achieved but for change to happen they have to want to do it.
 
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