Type 1 Diabetes is killing me

[indiaemily]

So I have been diabetic for almost 10 years (I'm now 21). I have never accepted it and still really struggle to come to terms with it all. My blood sugars are almost always 30+ or reading "HI" on my machine, I always have ketones, horrendous kidney pain, and all the symptoms of hyperglycaemia. I've now being diagnosed with depression and I am using my diabetes to make myself really unwell and I feel completely alone in this because I don't know another diabetic so people really don't understand.

 

[Dacuslive]

Not the way to go buddy!! There is help out there! I'm 26 15 years of this and I understand how hard it can be but you are in control please take control back and start living again!!

 

[Jaylee]

Hi,

OK, so you have started someplace now with your first post.
Priority wise. The sugar levels need to be controlled. It's a knock on effect? Feeling like **** on the highs (even being long term used to it.) won't help the way you feel emotionally...

Sounds like you use your meter. Which is good news..

It can get better. Do you have a plan? Let's see if other Ds can join in & get this rolling up hill..!

 

[Dacuslive]

Sounds like I'm having a pop didn't want it to sound like that!!

 

[indiaemily]

I've tried psychologists, health psychologists, therapy sessions, hospital stays and I can't accept it, I have never been in control of it and I don't think I ever will so you've had it since you were 11 too?

 

[indiaemily]

well I use my meter when I'm being physically sick so I know my blood sugars are hi, I say I test 10 times a month maximum I hate testing and injecting so miss doses of insulin a lot

 

[noblehead]

So I have been diabetic for almost 10 years (I'm now 21). I have never accepted it and still really struggle to come to terms with it all. My blood sugars are almost always 30+ or reading "HI" on my machine, I always have ketones, horrendous kidney pain, and all the symptoms of hyperglycaemia. I've now being diagnosed with depression and I am using my diabetes to make myself really unwell and I feel completely alone in this because I don't know another diabetic so people really don't understand.

With bg levels of 30+, ketones and kidney pain you need to get yourself to a hospital asap @indiaemily.

 

[indiaemily]

I have these symptoms 24/7 so it's normal for me and my diabetic team are aware of it and I work in a hospital so refuse to be admitted

 

[Dacuslive]

Please don't be alone get in control you can do it!!!

 

[indiaemily]

I want to think I can but I feel after 10 years if I was going to accept it I would have by now

 

[donnellysdogs]

Hi indiaemily
Welcome to our exclusive club, glad you have joined (in a sense)... You are not the only person to feel like you do. We have all had experiences to some degree with this.
I was speaking to a nurse today ref how to help diabetics stay out of DKA and to grab life and opportunities. We didn't come up with any magical answers but NHS staff are aware that there are many people that go thru such angst with a diabetes diagnosis at such a young age.

I would love to know if you have feelings towards what would help you? Is it having support from other diabetics that have been through the same (loads of people here!!) or whether you feel different to friends and family etc.. Or something else?

It would help us to help you, but also from my own point of view I'm trying to work with the NHS to "think outside the box" of the way they manage certain critical illness diagnosis..

On this forum we will all support you through the turmoil that you are feeling. We want you to have a good life and happiness and managing. We want to see you happy.

 

[Dacuslive]

Start again you can get back in control it's never to late trust me!!

 

[indiaemily]

thanks! well as I've said I've tried all sorts of therapies to try help and alternate methods in the actual treatment of my diabetes and nothing has worked for me yet, hence the reason I signed up to the forum because I've never had contact with another diabetic over the past decade so I thought it may help, so I'm giving it a shot to see what happens!

 

[Juicyj]

Ah would love to give you a big hug, sounds like you need one...

Have you been treated for depression ? The very fact you have posted is telling me you want to get better and you know deep down that you can't continue feeling like this. If you could start to take back control then you would start to feel better mentally as running high becomes a vicious circle with your moods.

What about going back to basics and learning again on how to manage your diabetes ?

My one tip for you is to try and do 3 tests a day, morning, lunch and dinner and write down your results. I do hope you can make tomorrow a fresh start, you really do have the chance to make a change but despite what anyone else will say to you here it really is down to you to do it x

 

[indiaemily]

I trust you, but I've never been in control so I would like to know what feeling "well" feels like

 

[indiaemily]

I'm currently going through treatment but they won't give me antidepressants because I overdosed a month ago, they feel that my diabetes is contributing to my depression so they want me to sort it out before they attempt any treatment, which upsets me a bit because I know that my diabetes is solely the reason behind my depression I want to learn to manage it because I just feel exhausted all the time. I hope I can too, it is all down to me and that worries me a little because I suppose I'm scared of taking control x

 

[Dacuslive]

Start by believing you can do it, take control and don't let this disease rule you. Easier said than done I know. But you can get there and we will all help!!

 

[indiaemily]

thank you, I really appreciate it, this is the most support I have ever received! I want to be in control of it, it's just ruling my life right now

 

[Juicyj]

To be honest it sounds like you need a diabetes buddy, someone non judgemental who can just give you a gentle prod and get you focussed on making diabetes work better for you.

I found when I was first diagnosed that it was so over whelming and it consumed my life, however with knowledge and support I've managed to get it tucked into my back pocket, it goes off the boil sometimes but I just work a bit harder then to get it under control. I will never reach perfection so I've learnt to accept this but not be too down about it when it does go wrong.

If you can co-ordinate your insulin with your blood glucose readings you will start to get your levels down, but starting with 3 tests a day is a good start.

What insulin are you on ?

 

[Natalie1974]

Hey @indiaemily. First and foremost...well done on finding this forum...you've come to exactly the right place...there is more info and support here from people who really 'get it' than you can shake a stick at.
Although a depression diagnosis may seem like the last thing you need right now...I think it will perhaps get you access to the help you need to come to terms with it all...hopefully you will be assigned a counsellor who will talk it all through with and help you to accept it and get you back on the right track.
Your age has struck a chord for me...I have a daughter just a year older than you (non diabetic) and would hate for her to ever feel like you are now.
It's a rough hand to be dealt...but it doesn't need to be the end of the world. I know I've felt like you do now and I know how bad it makes you feel...not just health wise...but emotionally too. You obviously want to resolve your issues or you wouldn't be seeking help...but I'm so glad you've made that first step. I'm sure I don't need to tell you the scare stories...so I won't...but I know you know the problems these high sugars can cause you but only you can make this right again...when you get control again...you'll be amazed the difference it will make to both your health and wellbeing. Constant highs will only make you feel worse...please try taking one step at a time...lots of testing...correction doses if required to get yourself back into good numbers...honestly...you'll have so much more energy and the right state of mind to deal with it all.
My heart goes out to you,..but it can only get better...you're on the right path...stick with it x