Cannot go on.

[ufukof]

60 yrs old now, have been undiagnosed,but suffering for most of these years,have always thought diet was the key,manic depression, joint/tendon pain and weight gain, divorce from the woman i love, watching dad in his final moments still causing , doing,thinking and saying everything wrong,unable to stop it,for forty years or more i`ve been going to top myself,never been as close as i am at the moment,dont think i will make it to christmas,so sorry to all my family,cannot say it all,love and wish each and everyone of them nothing but the best, every time its like climbing a higher mountain to recover,only to find you are even lower, just want it to end,simply cannot do it anymore, absolutely know that most of the articulate people on here are correct, even though it flies in the face of what we have been told, the answers will always come from the sufferers, I think the medical profession are too proud to be wrong. if you have the strength please listen to each other,turn this thing on its head, it is as simple as the correct diet for you. sorry its all garbaled up. have ruined or broke everything i have ever touched

 

[Salvia]

60 yrs old now, have been undiagnosed,but suffering for most of these years,have always thought diet was the key,manic depression, joint/tendon pain and weight gain, divorce from the woman i love, watching dad in his final moments still causing , doing,thinking and saying everything wrong,unable to stop it,for forty years or more i`ve been going to top myself,never been as close as i am at the moment,dont think i will make it to christmas,so sorry to all my family,cannot say it all,love and wish each and everyone of them nothing but the best, every time its like climbing a higher mountain to recover,only to find you are even lower, just want it to end,simply cannot do it anymore, absolutely know that most of the articulate people on here are correct, even though it flies in the face of what we have been told, the answers will always come from the sufferers, I think the medical profession are too proud to be wrong. if you have the strength please listen to each other,turn this thing on its head, it is as simple as the correct diet for you. sorry its all garbaled up. have ruined or broke everything i have ever touched

You seem to be in a very bad place right now, and I'm sorry that you feel so low about things. I guess your username says it all, really. I have always believed that things are never as bad as they seem to ourselves, coz we're only looking at things one way and we're trapped inside this negative bubble somehow. Oftentimes it helps to talk about it with someone who can help us to see the bigger picture. Can I suggest that you see your GP asap & let them know how you're feeling & how things are with you; also talk with possibly a family member, or maybe your local church, even if you are not a member, they often have support people around. There's always the Samaritans as well, who can help and point you in the direction of other support. Here's some hugs to help you on your way hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

 

[Freema]

I am so sad to read how bad you feel.... so sad for you and your family... hope you´ll anyway try to get help once more... send you my loving thoughts ...

 

[JohnEGreen]

Please don't give up.

And as others have said try and get help..

My thoughts are with you.

 

[walnut_face]

@ufukof Nothing repeat nothing is insurmountable, a problem shared is a problem halved. I urge you to pick up the phone and press 116 123, there will be a very caring, non-judgemental person at the other end, and who knows, you may well be posting here a year hence because you made THAT call

 

[Jaylee]

60 yrs old now, have been undiagnosed,but suffering for most of these years,have always thought diet was the key,manic depression, joint/tendon pain and weight gain, divorce from the woman i love, watching dad in his final moments still causing , doing,thinking and saying everything wrong,unable to stop it,for forty years or more i`ve been going to top myself,never been as close as i am at the moment,dont think i will make it to christmas,so sorry to all my family,cannot say it all,love and wish each and everyone of them nothing but the best, every time its like climbing a higher mountain to recover,only to find you are even lower, just want it to end,simply cannot do it anymore, absolutely know that most of the articulate people on here are correct, even though it flies in the face of what we have been told, the answers will always come from the sufferers, I think the medical profession are too proud to be wrong. if you have the strength please listen to each other,turn this thing on its head, it is as simple as the correct diet for you. sorry its all garbaled up. have ruined or broke everything i have ever touched

I learned a long time ago, one can't "save the world". From a councellor..
Prepared?
My dad at the end? I just gave him dignity in how he would like it.. That's the best you can do. So long as you try..

The woman you love..? Hell knows there is more than just the "one"..

So whatever you can't stop for the last "40 years"? You can put the "brakes" on it..

So, come back. Vent yer spleen. & stay safe!

 

[Juicyj]

Sorry to hear how you are feeling - please ask for help, I appreciate you wrote this last night but the truth is things always feel a lot worse at night time, combination of tiredness and self doubt can easily creep into your head. Each day is a new day and a new start, please don't let your past rule your future you can change the future and I hope you have got someone close you can call or speak to, take care x

 

[Bebo321]

60 yrs old now, have been undiagnosed,but suffering for most of these years,have always thought diet was the key,manic depression, joint/tendon pain and weight gain, divorce from the woman i love, watching dad in his final moments still causing , doing,thinking and saying everything wrong,unable to stop it,for forty years or more i`ve been going to top myself,never been as close as i am at the moment,dont think i will make it to christmas,so sorry to all my family,cannot say it all,love and wish each and everyone of them nothing but the best, every time its like climbing a higher mountain to recover,only to find you are even lower, just want it to end,simply cannot do it anymore, absolutely know that most of the articulate people on here are correct, even though it flies in the face of what we have been told, the answers will always come from the sufferers, I think the medical profession are too proud to be wrong. if you have the strength please listen to each other,turn this thing on its head, it is as simple as the correct diet for you. sorry its all garbaled up. have ruined or broke everything i have ever touched

You're obviously a very thoughtful and kind hearted individual - encouraging us to share and learn from others, when you are at a desperately low point yourself.
The only support I can offer would be to suggest you take a look at the writings of Eckhart Tolle (if you haven't already). He was suicidal when he suddenly recognised the destructive and tortuous capacity of the mind. He is a lesson in self-awareness and it's worth keeping an open mind to his experience and 'teachings'. It sounds as though you're ready for some light in your life and they do say: 'the darkest hour is just before the dawn'.

 

[Rustytypin]

Hi Uf, I know you are feeling low right now, but as one who 40 odd years ago felt the same as you do, I can say its worth never giving up. Please seek help and hopefully you will find light at the end of the dark tunnel you are in. Be positive and look to your loving family you mentioned. I know you can do it. I wish you all the strength you need.

 

[srobertson06]

I was so saddened to read just how unhappy you are, in no way do I feel I can offer you more than anyone else here but I did want you to know I really felt the pain you are feeling. I believe you can turn this around, yep even after 40 years............ I am so sure you are stronger than you think, take a deep breath and try to come up with just one positive thing no matter how small, even it is just that you made it through today - then find a pen and paper and write it down, try and do this every day and I truly hope you are able to see there are some things in life that you do that are good. Don't give up, turn it around. Sending you a hug as well.

 

[David_A_Hughes]

60 yrs old now, have been undiagnosed,but suffering for most of these years,have always thought diet was the key,manic depression, joint/tendon pain and weight gain, divorce from the woman i love, watching dad in his final moments still causing , doing,thinking and saying everything wrong,unable to stop it,for forty years or more i`ve been going to top myself,never been as close as i am at the moment,dont think i will make it to christmas,so sorry to all my family,cannot say it all,love and wish each and everyone of them nothing but the best, every time its like climbing a higher mountain to recover,only to find you are even lower, just want it to end,simply cannot do it anymore, absolutely know that most of the articulate people on here are correct, even though it flies in the face of what we have been told, the answers will always come from the sufferers, I think the medical profession are too proud to be wrong. if you have the strength please listen to each other,turn this thing on its head, it is as simple as the correct diet for you. sorry its all garbaled up. have ruined or broke everything i have ever touched

If you can't call 116123, try emailing [email protected] or look at www.samaritans.org for more options and help. It may just make the difference.

 

[Silas]

Hi. I am 64 years young and have had T1 for 44 years, but I felt compelled to reply to your post because I lost a son, who took his own life ten years ago. I too went through some dark days when I felt I was not in control but fortunately got myself back on track, learned a lot in the process and feel healthier and stronger now for the experience.

I am continually reminded that his loss to our family was huge. He was very intelligent and generous and and could have given so much to the world. It is always the people left behind that suffer when someone else goes. You may not think anyone cares for you, but believe me you would be sorely missed.

If you quit now you are giving in to something that can easily be treated and well managed. There is so much hope now that the world is finally starting to understand the causes of both T1 and T2 and how to best control the condition. There are so many things that are worse!

There are some amazing advances being made in technology to help manage the growing numbers of diabetic sufferers.
I have recently started using the Abbott Libre FreeStyle sensor which has been a revelation of my daily BG patterns. I would recommend it even for a short period of 14 days because it will open your eyes to how carbs, exercise and other factors affect your blood glucose levels.

With not only the reading of where you are now, it also shows the direction you are heading. It also stores up to 8 hours of data and so can reveal what is happening overnight. The Android app will cost you nothing so just the sensor is all you need to get started. It may be £50 but you might never look back.

Good luck

 

[Lorraine.]

Hi
Please seek help, life is such a presious gift don't give up on it. Pick the phone up, visit your GP, email or just join groups like this and open up to others who can and will try and help.
Good luck (((hugs)))

 

[mist]

Samaritans to the rescue me thinks!

I recommend therapy to help you talk about your issues.

 

[sue4les]

I really think you need to talk to someone as the suggestions above, but what ever DO NOT give up. from the age of 18 I was getting strange turns shaking blacking out etc but no doctor seemed to take me seriously, Then my Father became diabetic and again I asked is that my problem at the doctors but no nothing found then I passed out one morning and went back to the doctors and he did blood checks etc and came back with I may be lacking in something so he sent me out with a list of vitamins and minerals cost me a fortune after a couple of months went back for another blood test he still said the same thing, then I practically shouted at him LOOK AT THE SUGAR LEVELS. they are going up and up finally sent for a wee test and he came back in and told me YES your diabetic I just went in to tears at last the truth was out. I am now 62 and was diagnosed 11 years ago and most of us at some stage of diabetes go through a depression and feel we cannot go on but PLEASE don't give up it took me from 18 to 52 to get the truth and between I have watched my Dad die of diabetes and my Mother die from Altzheimers and my brother died from MND and I often think what chance have I got. But I still carry on I cry and then I smile and tell myself to be strong and get through the day because tomorrow might be better. Keep with us and start to talk to someone there is someone out there to help you. Lots of hugs to you and a shoulder to cry on if needed. Sue XX

 

[rads41]

@ufukof please call someone, family, friend, Samaritans, whoever. No matter what you may think they ( and you) will be thankful you did. Don't suffer alone. Most people have periods where they feel things can't get any worse but you can get over this. Thinking of you, hugs xxx

 

[Annie_wannie]

Hello believe me there is help out there please hang on. We all at times can feel very low and I know it's hard especially if you have numerous health problems and maybe personal problems but I am sure your loved ones would not like to see you this low, please speak to either a member of your family or the samaritans they are very helpful. You can get yourself in a better frame of mind but you need to speak with someone who can help you. There are people who care out there don't give up. Best wishes

60 yrs old now, have been undiagnosed,but suffering for most of these years,have always thought diet was the key,manic depression, joint/tendon pain and weight gain, divorce from the woman i love, watching dad in his final moments still causing , doing,thinking and saying everything wrong,unable to stop it,for forty years or more i`ve been going to top myself,never been as close as i am at the moment,dont think i will make it to christmas,so sorry to all my family,cannot say it all,love and wish each and everyone of them nothing but the best, every time its like climbing a higher mountain to recover,only to find you are even lower, just want it to end,simply cannot do it anymore, absolutely know that most of the articulate people on here are correct, even though it flies in the face of what we have been told, the answers will always come from the sufferers, I think the medical profession are too proud to be wrong. if you have the strength please listen to each other,turn this thing on its head, it is as simple as the correct diet for you. sorry its all garbaled up. have ruined or broke everything i have ever touched[/QU

 

[mo53]

@ufukof hello how are you now? It's 4 days since you posted and we would all like to know how you are.

 

[anton00to9]

Hello there,
While you are in a difficult place, I hope through the clouds you can see just how much success you have achieved by taking that most difficult first step - you have talked to people, albeit through this forum. It shows how positive you can be.
Others have offered details of some next steps you can take. You have made the biggest first move, what course you take next will be easier.
Every good wish. Anton.

 

[lizdeluz]

sorry its all garbaled up. have ruined or broke everything i have ever touched

Not this time! You've 'touched' many of us here on the forum with what you've said, and we're not 'ruined' or 'broken' and we'd like to help. Thank you for speaking to us. We're here for you, so keep posting! Another hug coming your way.