Yes I've made my decision, I'm not planning on doing anything I'm just going to live my life how I want on my terms, eat & drink what I want, when I want, exercise how I want when I want - basically give up
You do realise far as suicide goes, that's not the most efficient plan, right? Because that's what you're saying is your plan, basically. But long before uncontrolled T2'll kill you, you can and likely will get a bucket load of very nasty, painful complications that you have to live with. Your legs won't, as you might miss those somewhere along the line, what with amputations... But hey, you go ahead.
Does me saying that tick you off? Because oh my GOD, I hope it does! Anything to get you riled up and get you tackling this thing just to prove me, and your doc for that matter, wrong.
Spite us, PLEASE. Kicking the bucket wouldn't "show her" , it'd just prove her right. How attractive is that prospect?
There are answers out there. And you don't have to feel the way you feel right now... I KNOW, I've been there! I've had the pumped stomach, I've had a knife wrestled from me, I have been pulled away from a balcony ledge. Not metaphors, I actually went that route. I also smoked like a chimney, because if people kept getting to me somehow to keep me alive, then at least that was a sort of socially accepted way to check out. I will never be cured of my depression, but it isn't that big black gaping and rather painful hole in my chest it once was. I control my blood sugars, and thus my mood. It helps. So whether you do this on your own, get some medication for your emotional state going if you haven't already, or whatever.... But I can promise you it does NOT have to feel the way it feels right now. Besides... You're on here asking questions, so part of you isn't resigned to giving up completely, right? Consciously or subconsciously. You're mad at the doc because she confirmed your fears/thoughts, but she's not quite 100% herself right now either, otherwise she would've known what the impact would be. Give it a go. Carnivore, like
@bulkbiker mentioned, does sound like it's right up your alley... And it would get you off medication and away from high blood sugars, high cholesterol and fatty liver disease in no time at all. You could be feeling well in a matter of a month, maybe even sooner. Not to mention what it'd do for your brain chemistry.
I know, depression is the total absence of hope. That's why I'm on here, even if people scare the **** out of me, and sometimes I feel like running for the hills, especially when someone doesn't give a fig about my personal boundaries. Because when I was diagnosed there was no hope whatsoever, and it doesn't have to be hopeless, not at all. That's all i have to offer on here: hope. It's up to you to see it and act on it, but it's there for the taking, if you want it.
Just so you know.
Jo