14 yr old daughter refusing her insulin

[Kinny79]

Hi there I'm new to this group so its gonna be a bit of a long winded post.

So I have 14 year old daughter who was diagnosed T1 2 years ago. I noticed she was losing weight rapid, extreme thirst, urinating a lot and very sleepy. She was also complaining of a sore throat, so I too her to the gp who ignored all her symptoms and diagnosed her with tonsillitis. He also said the reason for her thirst was due to the sore throat and weight loss due to puberty
So afterwards I still wasn't happy and took it upon myself and took her A&E where the triage nurse pricked her finger and rushed her through to resus, where a doctor told me she has diabetes and is in DKA. Thank god I brought her in as she was only hours away of a diabetic coma. So moving on after diagnosis and learning how to treat the condition, we were allowed home. I was so proud of my daughter she really took it on the chin such a brave girl doing her Bg and insulin without fail. Fast forward 18 months, now everyday is a battle, she continuously screams at me anytime I prompt her about blood glucose testing or doing her insulin. She goes days without taking her tresiba and tells me point blank she's not doing her fiasp. This as been ongoing fir months. Her diabetic specialist nurse and consultant have admitted her twice for this, but we just end up back at square one. She says I don't understand how it feel and she just wants it to go away. I feel so sorry for her and I'm absolutely worried sick thats she's going to make her self very poorly very soon. I'm really at my wits end single mum her dad is useless so its just me. If I mention anything to do with her diabetes she flips out. Her Bg is continously high and she has been so lucky not to get any ketone. I've tried to explain ots only a matter of time if she keros going on like this, but honestly I don't know what else to do .... any advice would be much appreciated x

 

[Antje77]

any advice would be much appreciated x

Hi @Kinny79 , and welcome to the forum.

I don't have any advice for you but I wanted to let you know I feel for you and your daughter, must be very hard for both of you.
This is a very quiet time on the forum, so it might take a while for more answers to come.

 

[EllieM]

This as been ongoing fir months. Her diabetic specialist nurse and consultant have admitted her twice for this, but we just end up back at square one. She says I don't understand how it feel and she just wants it to go away.

Welcome to the forums.

I am so sorry. This must be incredibly hard for you both. Is the clinic able to give you and/or her any psychological help - counselling etc? There have been a few people posting on here with similar issues so I don't think your daughter is alone at all. You might be surprised to learn just how many of the long term T1s on these boards went off the diabetic rails as teenagers. Being a teenager is bad enough on its own. Add in T1 and you can get some crazy behaviour. I know it's not much consolation but if she can get through the next couple of years things will get better as she gets older.

So, some (not necessarily helpful) practical suggestions. Have you phoned your clinic and asked for immediate help? Worst case scenario, would they admit her to hospital and put her in an eating disorder type ward where they can monitor/enforce her insulin and give her psychological help for a couple of weeks? (Not suggesting you do this at all , just be aware whether it could be a last ditch option.) She's under 18, so you have the power to dial 999 or 111 if she is very sick and admit her to hospital.

Do you think that she would find it helpful to post on these forums and talk to other young T1s who might help with her issues?

Lots and lots of virtual hugs, You are not alone.

 

[UK T1]

Hi and welcome. Sorry to hear about this, but know that neither you nor her are alone. As has been said, many struggle and I struggled at her age especially as it is an age where you start seeing your friends being given more 'freedom' and being able to act in a carefree way, but it feels like you can never have that luxury. I'd say you can! One thing I always strongly stick by is that type 1 diabetics might have to be slightly more organised, but there is no reason why type 1 should hold anyone back.

I'd encourage you to contact her clinic as a matter of urgency and see if they have any counselling sessions. I know mine do ones for all ages. If they're not that helpful perhaps see if there is another clinic you can switch to. Different hospital teams can have completely different approaches and you might find she 'gels' better with a different team. They might be able to put her in touch with other type 1s her age too.

It is easy to feel judged, but I'm sure that is the last thing you're wanting her to feel. I'm also sure you are, but it will mean a lot if you're constantly making it clear you're there for her. From a safeguarding point of view refusing to take insulin is a form of self harm, so please do act quickly as it can unfortunately take a little while to be at the top of referral waiting lists.

As for testing, she should be eligible for the Libre 2 on prescription, her clinic or GP can prescribe. I hate finger prick testing and always have, and this had made life so much easier!! Apply once every two weeks, app on phone to scan sensor, no more fingers like pin cushions, brilliant! I hope this helps a little, wishing you both well.

 

[Jaylee]

Hi there I'm new to this group so its gonna be a bit of a long winded post.

So I have 14 year old daughter who was diagnosed T1 2 years ago. I noticed she was losing weight rapid, extreme thirst, urinating a lot and very sleepy. She was also complaining of a sore throat, so I too her to the gp who ignored all her symptoms and diagnosed her with tonsillitis. He also said the reason for her thirst was due to the sore throat and weight loss due to puberty
So afterwards I still wasn't happy and took it upon myself and took her A&E where the triage nurse pricked her finger and rushed her through to resus, where a doctor told me she has diabetes and is in DKA. Thank god I brought her in as she was only hours away of a diabetic coma. So moving on after diagnosis and learning how to treat the condition, we were allowed home. I was so proud of my daughter she really took it on the chin such a brave girl doing her Bg and insulin without fail. Fast forward 18 months, now everyday is a battle, she continuously screams at me anytime I prompt her about blood glucose testing or doing her insulin. She goes days without taking her tresiba and tells me point blank she's not doing her fiasp. This as been ongoing fir months. Her diabetic specialist nurse and consultant have admitted her twice for this, but we just end up back at square one. She says I don't understand how it feel and she just wants it to go away. I feel so sorry for her and I'm absolutely worried sick thats she's going to make her self very poorly very soon. I'm really at my wits end single mum her dad is useless so its just me. If I mention anything to do with her diabetes she flips out. Her Bg is continously high and she has been so lucky not to get any ketone. I've tried to explain ots only a matter of time if she keros going on like this, but honestly I don't know what else to do .... any advice would be much appreciated x

Hi,

Welcome to the forum.

Could the underlying issue be "school?" (Any aspect of it.) Some kids don't like to say. They come home brood in the safe space then "boom" triggered. The high BGs are not going to help.
I'm not sure what sort of "care package" she has at school, but maybe she feels she can "vent" at home if it's making her feel an unwarrented "special case?"
At 14, I suppose one is starting to find their own place in the world...

I was a lot more passive back in my day, (being the only D in the village.) but I did discover punk/Metal, even a bit of Goth & found other "losers" to hang out with & chew the fat.
Most of which did quite well in the end..

Best wishes.

 

[Juicyj]

Hello @Kinny79

My friends son is 15 and diagnosed 3 years ago, he went into DKA about a year ago as wasn’t taking his insulin at school, he didn’t want to acknowledge it and mum thinks it was because he didn’t want to appear different in front of his mates, he also didn’t respond well to his mum who is a single parent, bearing down on him all the time. He’s had some support from his DSN and touch wood he appears to be doing ok now.

I am not sure if it’s the same scenario for you but I do know kids particularly teens are anti anything a parent can say so the less pressure the better. I’d recommend contacting JDRF as they have support for kids and once they can meet again she could find some local friends with t1 which can help ‘normalise’ things.

 

[NicoleC1971]

As a mum of a 13, 15 and 18 year old I feel for you. I was also that teenager as a girl diagnosed with type 1 age 11.
At the time it was exciting and I got lots of attention in hospital and felt very special. Then it got harder when the reality of being stuck with the daily grind of finger pricks and jabs plus carb counting sunk in. It is also extremely unfair which is like life in general but stings more when you're a teen. Sounds as if the diagnosis was traumatic for all concerned so I am not surprised she wants to pretend its not there.
You seem very supportive and it must be hard for you to have your support and love rejected with anger.
What helped me? I went on a diabetes teen event and it was good to be with other teens who got it.. Perhaps you could leave out some printed out forum discussions or notes on a diabetic weekend if such things are still happening at this time! My dad was also great by framing my diabetes as a shared family problem that we would tackle together e.g. by eating the right foods or buying her the right kit or a nice bag to put the caboodle in if such things motivate her. I know that getting into a confrontation and mentioning the terrible perils of not taking her insulin won't hit home sadly or will be weaponised against you as the person forcing such things upon her.
There's some good kit out there to take some of the stress out of things e.g. flash glucose monitoring or cgm (Freestyle libre or Dexcom) and now Tandem Slim IQ which even automatically doses according to your blood sugar reading. Even having a pump pushing the basal dose in the background helps. Dexcom , Roche and Medtronic also make pumps though these don't have the AI bit that keeps an eye on your glucose levels.
There is hope and I think if she gets through this horrible phase she will come out stronger and confident for having taken on the responsibility. Please keep reminding her of this when she does well. She's doing her future self a huge favour and what she is doing right now (or not doing) is a cry for help but I think you also need as much help as you can get too, hopefully from her clinic who will have seen this all before.
Best of luck ( I graduated, have a career and a family plus ran marathons in spite of many teenage and 20s bumps in my road! so there's hope too)

 

[PenguinMum]

Hi there I'm new to this group so its gonna be a bit of a long winded post.

So I have 14 year old daughter who was diagnosed T1 2 years ago. I noticed she was losing weight rapid, extreme thirst, urinating a lot and very sleepy. She was also complaining of a sore throat, so I too her to the gp who ignored all her symptoms and diagnosed her with tonsillitis. He also said the reason for her thirst was due to the sore throat and weight loss due to puberty
So afterwards I still wasn't happy and took it upon myself and took her A&E where the triage nurse pricked her finger and rushed her through to resus, where a doctor told me she has diabetes and is in DKA. Thank god I brought her in as she was only hours away of a diabetic coma. So moving on after diagnosis and learning how to treat the condition, we were allowed home. I was so proud of my daughter she really took it on the chin such a brave girl doing her Bg and insulin without fail. Fast forward 18 months, now everyday is a battle, she continuously screams at me anytime I prompt her about blood glucose testing or doing her insulin. She goes days without taking her tresiba and tells me point blank she's not doing her fiasp. This as been ongoing fir months. Her diabetic specialist nurse and consultant have admitted her twice for this, but we just end up back at square one. She says I don't understand how it feel and she just wants it to go away. I feel so sorry for her and I'm absolutely worried sick thats she's going to make her self very poorly very soon. I'm really at my wits end single mum her dad is useless so its just me. If I mention anything to do with her diabetes she flips out. Her Bg is continously high and she has been so lucky not to get any ketone. I've tried to explain ots only a matter of time if she keros going on like this, but honestly I don't know what else to do .... any advice would be much appreciated x

Hi Kinny I am a T2 so can’t offer much practical help but I wondered if your daughter has a best friend in her friendship group that could get through to her and support her. If you were to confide your worries to that girl’s mum she might be able to persuade her child to be super supportive and interested in her diabetes. At that age we were all more inclined to listen to our friends than our parents. Her friends if they knew how risky this is would not want anything bad to happen to her. Just a thought and sending you both lots of hugs and best wishes.

 

[Hassan-D]

Hey I’m actually a 14 year old kid myself and i was diagnosed 2 years ago. I honestly think that you daughter just needs someone to talk to that understands how she feels and can sympathise with her, i think one of the reasons she doesn’t want to think about taking insulin and her blood sugar is because she feels like her life is being controlled by it, at least thats how i felt for a long time until i came to terms with my diabetes (mostly) and i only take 6 units of fast insulin a day and 4 units long term. Anyway if you want to talk more im always free, my name is Hassan. I hope she gets better soon!

(mod edit)

 

[Smiles978]

Hi, I really feel your pain! I’m going through the same thing with my teenage son age 15. I have come on here to find help as I just do not know what I can do to make him feel better. Nearly 3 years diagnosed and at the start he managed and coped with his insulin, levels etc but over the last couple of months he’s really struggled he’s shut him self away, doesn’t interact he just seems so depressed and sad all time. Iv tried to talk to him but he shuts me down just says he’s fine and he will deal with it himself. I suggested speaking too psychologist but refuses blank. I downloaded his meter yesterday and looks like he is not even bolusing for what he eats, his blood sugar levels are so high too. He’s clearly gone into self destruct mode. Wish I could take this away! I wish there was a cure!

 

[azariy]

While reading I remembered myself. As I was a teen I also refused, we had plenty of scandals. I assume that it's just a period and everything will normalize