A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO COSTCO!!

Pura Vida

Well-Known Member
Messages
746
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO COSTCO!!

Yesterday I was at Costco, buying a large bag of
Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen,
the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a
woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on
impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I
probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but
that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet
and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and
I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically
everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped
to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

Well, I thought the guy behind her was going to have
a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch
what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to
think of crazy things to say.

Forward this (especially) to all your retired
friends... it will be their laugh for the day.
 

himtoo

Well-Known Member
Retired Moderator
Messages
4,805
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Dislikes
mean people , gardening , dishonest people , and war.
why can't everyone get on........
did you get a 10% discount on the dog food because it was pensioners wednesday ?
 

Salvia

Well-Known Member
Messages
812
Type of diabetes
Prediabetes
Treatment type
Diet only
Brilliant. I'm sitting here surfing around because once again I can't sleep - and your tale really did make me "laugh out loud" :D
 
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Reactions: 2 people

TopCat_999

Member
Messages
20
Type of diabetes
Treatment type
Other
I enjoyed reading this so much and was laughing so loudly my wife asked me what was wrong
 

amgrundy

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,333
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Dislikes
Being bored
A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO COSTCO!!

Yesterday I was at Costco, buying a large bag of
Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen,
the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a
woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on
impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I
probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but
that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet
and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and
I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically
everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped
to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

Well, I thought the guy behind her was going to have
a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch
what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to
think of crazy things to say.

Forward this (especially) to all your retired
friends... it will be their laugh for the day.
Oh god! what a funny story, made me laugh too,;) hope she got the joke and doesn't start eating the Purina Nuggets:D