Always depressed... Suicide awaits

[janiebcarder]

Woke up this morning thinking about you girl......you are not alone and I will continue to pray to give you strength........Please know you are special and this world needs a gal like you

 

[Meghalton]

Hi everyone,
Gp surgery was ok, they have put me on medication but there isn't a lot more they can do. I'm just hoping these stable me for a bit. I took my first one yesterday and then at bedtime my heart was pumping so hard I couldn't sleep.... Bit strange. And my heart is still racing today!! I have been trying to keep myself busy but there are still very down times.
I hope you all know how great you are, this forum has really helped me. If only we could all meet up, it would be like a diabetic festival haha! Xxxxx

 

[claire1991]

Hi everyone,
Gp surgery was ok, they have put me on medication but there isn't a lot more they can do. I'm just hoping these stable me for a bit. I took my first one yesterday and then at bedtime my heart was pumping so hard I couldn't sleep.... Bit strange. And my heart is still racing today!! I have been trying to keep myself busy but there are still very down times.
I hope you all know how great you are, this forum has really helped me. If only we could all meet up, it would be like a diabetic festival haha! Xxxxx

Diabetic festival sounds awesome, there would be sugar free squash everywhere!

Have you read the side effects of your medication? Might be worth keeping an eye on those heart palpitations in case you need a different type of tablet.

I'm really pleased your appointment went well, been thinking of you. Have they offered you a long term plan?

All the best
Claire x

 

[Prem51]

Hi @Meghalton. Great to hear you got some help from GP. Medication does help to get through the depression. I have decided to stay on it, though I think I am through the depression. It can have some side effects, especially when you first start, but it should settle down after a few weeks. I felt really anxious for the first few weeks on fluoxetine (Prozac) but it started to take effect after about six weeks. It does take a few weeks to build up in your system, so be patient, and just take things a day at a time. Better days will come.

 

[ickihun]

Yes diabetes festival!
Even once a year would be fine.
I wonder if tesco would help us since they are our sponsor?
We could use their empty new stores to rejenerate them.
Diabetic friendly food and products only.
They might never look back!

 

[Patricia21]

Hi Meg.
Thinking about you.
I was put on Citralopram 20 mg.I did feel a bit worse at first,but stuck it out and started to feel better.
Im still on them after a year,I feel fine but worried to come off them.
I do know how you feel,Im glad you have joined us x

 

[donnellysdogs]

Glad you got some medication to try Meg...
Keeping occupied is important. Its when we are unoccupied that depressive thoughts win.....

Its tough girl. It really is. There are good people here supporting you all the way... And boy a diabetic festival would be great... And would so love to hijack (can I use that terminology?) a Tesco empty store!!

Hope this week has been ok for you.

How are the heart palpitations now? Speak to your GP if they continue as there are different tablets.

 

[Meghalton]

Heart palpitations seem better. I'm on Sertraline, as I tried fluoxetine before when I was depressed and it didn't do much. The thing is I've been through all this before and tried to move on from it. I felt fine when stopping my anti depressants as I was determined to be normal..... But I'm back here again so I'm not sure if I ever beat depression! Feeling a bit happier today as my boyfriend is coming home. I hate being on my own!
So festival needs to be sorted then, so many people seem keen haha. Would be great to meet everyone xxxx

 

[AnDi63]

Is there such a thing as a diabetic councillor? Xx

Hi Meg, Sorry to hear about the depression - it happens and unfortunately diabetics are way more likely to develop it than others, so don't feel you're any different to the rest of us here! We all have our bad periods, some worse than others; but there IS sunshine at the top of the hill. I live in Canada, and had diabetic counselling sessions with the CDA so hopefully they have the same in the UK for you too. Just ask, I'm sure you'll get the help you need. I was asked to ID my challenges, e.g. eating on time, going to sleep at the same time each night, getting enough sleep etc. etc. She called me once a week and helped me work my way through a very bad period - where I had a few ambulance episodes, lost my driver's license due to hypo unawareness and had to get my life back on track. Thanks to her, the diabetic educators at my local clinic and the specialist I saw I'm on the road again - not perfect, but getting there. Have had Type 1 since I was 20, and now 57 and no complications so there is hope. Eat right, your mind feels better. Exercise right, your body feels better. Smile more and your face feels better ONE small step at a time. Pat yourself on the back for that 1 good blood sugar result OR that crazy flower whose colours you never really appreciated until they dazzled you coming out of a hypo one day, lOL OR the cat who always seems to know when your sugars are down or too high, and sits and stares at you in the kitchen, long before you have a clue. Hang in there. We want to hear from you.

 

[linnyb]

Oh hun, please don't feel guilty. You know there are a few of us out here who are or have felt similar to how you are now & haven't had the guts to vocalise it, your strength will help those of us. PLEASE PLEASE go back to your gp, it took ny gp 3 years to get our mental health service to take notice of me & I know endless streams of people being let down by the system. They like to try & make you feel guilty but that is because they have no real understanding of what it is like to desperately not want to exist. It took me time to claw myself out of that pit of despair & I still struggle, but remember there WILL be a therapist out there that will be a gem & help you, its just finding the right one. Please seek help & don't do anything rash, you have made the first step towards recovery by shouting for help. If you feel you can't fight until you see your gp, please go to A&E & tell them how you feel & that you don't feel you can maintain your safety, they may be able to gain you access to a crisis team. Sending huge hugs xx

 

[donnellysdogs]

No need to apologise honey, you've done exactly the right thing by posting about how you feel. I feel OK at the moment but I will remain on medication for the rest of my life to try to avoid relapses into depression. It's only once I feel better that I am able to realise how distorted my thinking was at my lowest ebbs, how the feelings of worthlessness were actually a symptom of the illness itself and not a true reflection of how others felt about me. Honestly, if you had cancer instead of depression would you feel it necessary to apologise for being a bother?

Having recently had cancer I can still assure you that you end up apologising for being a bother and a burden to your partner and family...

People are amazing with support and genuinely don't see depression as a bother.

My Mum and Nan both had electrical treatments to their brains for depression and I can honestly tell you that my dad and us never though worse of them...we just loved them.

I keep apologising to my hubby for everything. He just accepts me the way I am. Family and good friends do that. They love you.

You will get there. The thing is though when you feel better that you don't stop taking the tablets....

 

[Deleted member 83869]

Hello Meg...have a look at the site elefriends....it's run by Mind and is a very good site! What medication did they put you on?? After 3 years I finally started CBT....after thinking it would never help me....but it has! Like others have said don't let one bad counsellor put you off! Keep fighting until you find the counsellor for you! Good luck xx

 

[Deleted member 83869]

Apologies just see you are on sertraline! I'm on the same

 

[MrFoZzY1702]

I might get slated on this but... man up on this feeling... look at it this way your not going to die if you control your diabetese by sounds of it your letting it control you.. I'm 28 had type 1 8 years it's taken me 8 years and loss of my big toe to realise I have a illness. My best mate killed himself cause he had this illness. There is a lot of people in the world who are in alot worse situation then us diabectics so just think yourself lucky to be alive if you have a boyfriend who loves and supports you then think positive.

 

[linnyb]

I think this is more about depression than type 1 diabetes & its about making the best of how you are feeling at the time. It ISN'T easy & nobody wakes up thinking "I am going to act depressed today", its an illness like any other, unfortunately it is misunderstood by many people.Keep on fighting it Meg, you will get there xx

 

[linnyb]

Ps. try looking at dbt self help website & try the mindfulness exercises, but don't beat yourself up if your concentration lapses because everyones does, but it may just help you be in the moment (engaged with your activity at that point) xxx

 

[MrFoZzY1702]

I've been I the same boat so I know what's happening.. but diabetese doesn't control you YOU control it its hard to get out of that state of mind I realised after loosing a toe.. my point is overcome it before its too late because if you leave it and face problems it be even harder to get back on the straight.

Simon

 

[Robinredbreast]

I might get slated on this but... man up on this feeling... look at it this way your not going to die if you control your diabetese by sounds of it your letting it control you.. I'm 28 had type 1 8 years it's taken me 8 years and loss of my big toe to realise I have a illness. My best mate killed himself cause he had this illness. There is a lot of people in the world who are in alot worse situation then us diabectics so just think yourself lucky to be alive if you have a boyfriend who loves and supports you then think positive.

It's nothing to do with 'manning up'. People can have a good supportive and loving family, a good job, children and money too, and still be in the downward spiral of despair, despondency and with suicidal thoughts.
Trying to be understanding and supportive goes a long way to someones well being and their mental health.

 

[Robinredbreast]

I've been I the same boat so I know what's happening.. but diabetese doesn't control you YOU control it its hard to get out of that state of mind I realised after loosing a toe.. my point is overcome it before its too late because if you leave it and face problems it be even harder to get back on the straight.

Simon

Easier for some than others, depending on their state of mind.

 

[MrFoZzY1702]

I understand what your saying and I know it's not easy but in my opinion you can over come it. I hope they do get out the frame of mind it took me a couple of years not wanting to inject or control my problem. But I overcome it my goal was to see my son grow up and be in his life that was my determination. Just focus on something that would cause alot of pain if you decided to end your life. You will get through it just might take time but leave it too late and cause your body major problems = depressed once again.