WOW! Thank you all for the replies. I was seriously expecting abuse for my post but you have all been very gentle with me for which I am very grateful.
I'm not going to make replies to each reply but hopefully the following will give you all some idea of where I am and how I got here.
I am type 2 diagnosed early in 2015 when I went to the GP because of a toenail infection that the over the counter meds wouldn't shift. The "routine" blood tests showed very high blood glucose (about 14mm/l)
I had not had any of the usual symptoms of diabetes other than sleeping a lot which I put down to boredom!
Anyhow I was put on metformin. 1 a day for a week then 2 a day then 3. The only help from the GP in this time to my reports of bad side effects was "you'll get used to it". By the end of week 8 the side effects were so bad my wife called an ambulance.
As a result I was changed to metformin sr. The side effects were lessened but were still debilitating. I stuck it out for about 8 months. Complaining often to the GP. (Actually the diabetic nurse at the practice). She gave me no practical help and no sympathy at all that I had gone from fit and active to housebound in under a year.
In Dec 2015 I spoke to the doctor about the meds and the side effects. I got a fresh pack of metformin sr. After talking it over with my wife I stopped taking the meds completely.
In under 2 weeks I was fit and active again.
I had a routine blood test in Nov 2016 and was put on folic acid pills as it was low. I asked how my blood sugar was and was told no test had been done for that !! ***? It was a routine diabetic blood test. Ah well another blood test was arranged for early 2017.
This time I got the expected call back next day. My blood sugar was 12mm/l. A different nurse saw me this time and she showed some sympathy for my having given up the metformin and asked me try alogiptin.
I note this should be taken with another med but no other was prescribed. I was also given a test meter to try.
I've not been able to use the monitor as no matter how hard I stab myself I cant get a large enough drop of blood. I've got 3 readings by using blood from nose bleeds all in the range 11-12 mm/l.
During the 4 weeks on alogiptin I was sleeping a lot; over 24 hours on one occasion! I suspect this was more coma than sleep.
Any how that's where I am right now. No meds and returning to fit and active again.
Oh this post is getting very long. Sorry.
It was mentioned in some of your replies that I might be depressed. Well duh! I'm actually bi-polar and have been all my life but was not diagnosed as manic depressive until I was in my 40's. I've been put on "happy pills" 3 times in my life always with the same result.
I stop being depressed but when I go manic I go VERY manic. For example one time I thought a good short cut to get past a traffic jam would be to just drive through that wall. You get the idea; being manic and on happy pills makes me a danger to myself and others.
Other things that stop me having a good quality of life: A broken ankle in 2012 was botched when repaired. I can walk but every step is agony plus the reduced amount of motion gives me a pronounced limp. I'm often short of breath because of constant chest infections. I have difficulty shaking these off due to a low T-cell count resulting from sarcordosis in my lymphatic system. (sorry no cure or palliative meds for that).
As well as those I have food allergies to milk and eggs. Not life threatening but bad enough. That makes meals lots of fun.
There's other stuff that prevents me having what I consider a good quality of life but I'll save that for another time.
Now I'm fully aware of the dreadful consequences of diabetes. Well, along with my refusal to take meds and let the illness take its course I also intend to eschew treatment for whatever comes. I've lived for 63 years so far. Much longer than many. Now while I admit the thought of dying scares the sh*t out of me I have no fear of being dead.
Oh sorry this could get very morbid so I'll draw this post to a close.
Whilst I absolutely respect your decision to do as you appear to have chosen to do; you are an adult, and seem capable of thoughts and consideration.
However, I would say that really as far as your diabetes is concerned, it's such a spiders' web of a condition, with the potential to impact on so many parts of our bodies and our lives, not to mention the lives of our families and loved ones.
Looking at your story, you have tried 2 drugs, albeit on in two forms. I accept that neither of those have worked for you, and I also note you've had trouble doing your finger prick testing. There are so, so many drug options for T2 diabetes; unfortunately you didn't find your best fit, within those 2 drugs.
It sounds to me like you could do with much more support, and closer monitoring by your health care team. Again, there are many different lancing devices on the market and there are some nifty tricks for when the fingertips just won't cooperate. Were you shown how to test, and did you do a test yourself during the time you were given your meter?
If you feel absolutely certain you want to do nothing, I would urge you to adopt a mind which is at least ajar and say you're going to do nothing today, but be open to changing your mind tomorrow, or whatever other day?
I really do hope you can find a better place so that you can be supported to a better life and future.