I wish he would, but he won't. I'm the one who wants to find one for myself, but someone who might understand how it is to live with someone who doesn't seem to care about their health even though he's having health conditions related to diabetes. As it's for me, it has to be private, but I can't seem to find one online. I've been feeling on the verge of depression and he feels as well since he was told he had to treat diabetic retinopathy. As I'm the only one in the family who knows about his treatment and how it's making him feel and act, I need help from someone else, if not for him, than for me.Is this for your T1 partner?
If so, I'd contact his diabetes nurse if I were him. Diabetes teams often have a connection with psychologists who know about diabetes.
Thank you for the advice. It wouldn't be a lie, because it's just how he's feeling as well. Trouble is, I've suggested and he won't look for help, so the counselling would be for me, that's why it has to be private. I need to learn how to deal with someone who seems to be given up before it's too late for me to feel "normal" again. I've been struggling with my own feelings for quite a while and his low mood and reluctance in looking after himself is making me feel worse. I understand him, but I don't think I can help him and myself on my own.I was referred by my diabetes consultant at my appointment, he asked how I was doing and I replied “I give up” I think he took that for suicidal and referred me, I wasn’t but glad he did because it was amazing, the reason I’m sharing is to suggest you or they sound very fed up when they speak to the doc, I’m sure that worked for me (although I was genuinely very fed up) best of luck.
Thank you, I suppose you're right about the psychologist. If I don't narrow it, I might find someone who can talk with me in my first language, which would make things easier for me.I think it's a very good idea to find some counselling for yourself, even if he won't.
I think you don't necessarily need a psychologist specialised in diabetes though. The diabetes is his condition, not yours.
Your condition is living with a partner who doesn't take care of his health as much as you want him to, which is very hard.
While I admire your wish to help him, and find solutions for him, none of them will work unless he finds the motivation to do something himself, in which case your research may be welcomed.
It's impossible to manage someone elses diabetes once the diabetic is older than about 14 years old.
Please don't burn yourself out trying to do it for him while he isn't ready to commit to taking care of his diabetes. It's not your fault, but it's also not your responsibility, you're trying to do the impossible.
I'm not familiar with mental health care in the UK so I don't have any practical tips on where to find help. Tagging @AndBreathe , who knows a lot about just about anything, and @Lamont D , who has had very good results with mental health care on different subjects, they may have some ideas on where to start.
Also, have you asked your GP? This can be very helpful.
Wrong person tagged here. Hopefully the right one will see it@HSSS, I wanted to give you so many of the emojis, a hug for your circumstances, a winner for how you’ve dealt with it but went with a friendly for sharing your story and baring your soul - hope you continue to improve in all the circumstances of your life
Oh heck thanks for the heads up, have edited it to tag the right member - need to get more sleepWrong person tagged here. Hopefully the right one will see it
No probs, and thank you. It is hard and demanding, but what else can I do?@Lamont D I wanted to give you so many of the emojis, a hug for your circumstances, a winner for how you’ve dealt with it but went with a friendly for sharing your story and baring your soul - hope you continue to improve in all the circumstances of your life
Edited to tag the right person! My apologies
Thank you dear. I'll have a look.Hi @Trishhh
Sorry you are going through this, there is an NHS service that you can self refer to, I’ve used talking therapy in the past and found it quite useful
NHS talking therapies for anxiety and depression
How to access free psychological therapies (talking therapies) like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), counselling and guided self-help on the NHS.www.nhs.uk
Thank you dear. And don't worry about the link, I'll sort it out. You all have helped just by being here listening to me and giving me ideas. I'm very grateful to all of you@Trishhh - All diabetes departments in clinics have psychologists, but I have no idea if they offer support for partners etc.
Infuriatingly, a few days ago a site popped up in my browser for a charity offering just what you are after. It was fee based, but I didn't explore costs. I saved it on my browser, but must have closed the window without bookmarking at some stage.
In terms of NHS support, I know my surgery allows us to self-refer if we feel the need, but from what I can tell that self-referral just leads to a triage and placement on a looooong waiting list.
In your shoes, I would contact the relevant person's clinic and ask what options are available there, or if they know of anything privately. Your challenge may well be that the person living with diabetes is not you (although I get that you may be living with a person living with diabetes, and thereby you sort of are), so you either need their consent to reveal their name, or be discreet in your contacts.
I've just had a look at my local Nuffield Hospital and they have Psychology and Psychiatry services avail that cite "adjusting to living with a long term condition", without specifying any condition. (My local Spire doesn't appear to offer any psychological services at all, so hospitals/Groups may differ.
It could be worth approaching someone like that to see what they offer. It could be they have something very suitable, but not stated as Diabetes. It really will all depend on the specifics of the issues you want to discuss.
Sorry not to be more helpful. I just wish I still had that link.