Counselling specialised in diabetes

[Trishhh]

Hey there,
Can anyone recommend a counsellor/psychologist/therapist who's specialised in diabetes, please? It could be private and online.
Thank you.

 

[Antje77]

Is this for your T1 partner?
If so, I'd contact his diabetes nurse if I were him. Diabetes teams often have a connection with psychologists who know about diabetes.

 

[Fenn]

I was referred by my diabetes consultant at my appointment, he asked how I was doing and I replied “I give up” I think he took that for suicidal and referred me, I wasn’t but glad he did because it was amazing, the reason I’m sharing is to suggest you or they sound very fed up when they speak to the doc, I’m sure that worked for me (although I was genuinely very fed up) best of luck.

 

[Trishhh]

Is this for your T1 partner?
If so, I'd contact his diabetes nurse if I were him. Diabetes teams often have a connection with psychologists who know about diabetes.

I wish he would, but he won't. I'm the one who wants to find one for myself, but someone who might understand how it is to live with someone who doesn't seem to care about their health even though he's having health conditions related to diabetes. As it's for me, it has to be private, but I can't seem to find one online. I've been feeling on the verge of depression and he feels as well since he was told he had to treat diabetic retinopathy. As I'm the only one in the family who knows about his treatment and how it's making him feel and act, I need help from someone else, if not for him, than for me.

 

[Trishhh]

I was referred by my diabetes consultant at my appointment, he asked how I was doing and I replied “I give up” I think he took that for suicidal and referred me, I wasn’t but glad he did because it was amazing, the reason I’m sharing is to suggest you or they sound very fed up when they speak to the doc, I’m sure that worked for me (although I was genuinely very fed up) best of luck.

Thank you for the advice. It wouldn't be a lie, because it's just how he's feeling as well. Trouble is, I've suggested and he won't look for help, so the counselling would be for me, that's why it has to be private. I need to learn how to deal with someone who seems to be given up before it's too late for me to feel "normal" again. I've been struggling with my own feelings for quite a while and his low mood and reluctance in looking after himself is making me feel worse. I understand him, but I don't think I can help him and myself on my own.

 

[Antje77]

I think it's a very good idea to find some counselling for yourself, even if he won't.
I think you don't necessarily need a psychologist specialised in diabetes though. The diabetes is his condition, not yours.
Your condition is living with a partner who doesn't take care of his health as much as you want him to, which is very hard.

While I admire your wish to help him, and find solutions for him, none of them will work unless he finds the motivation to do something himself, in which case your research may be welcomed.
It's impossible to manage someone elses diabetes once the diabetic is older than about 14 years old.

Please don't burn yourself out trying to do it for him while he isn't ready to commit to taking care of his diabetes. It's not your fault, but it's also not your responsibility, you're trying to do the impossible.

I'm not familiar with mental health care in the UK so I don't have any practical tips on where to find help. Tagging @AndBreathe , who knows a lot about just about anything, and @Lamont D , who has had very good results with mental health care on different subjects, they may have some ideas on where to start.
Also, have you asked your GP? This can be very helpful.

 

[Trishhh]

I think it's a very good idea to find some counselling for yourself, even if he won't.
I think you don't necessarily need a psychologist specialised in diabetes though. The diabetes is his condition, not yours.
Your condition is living with a partner who doesn't take care of his health as much as you want him to, which is very hard.

While I admire your wish to help him, and find solutions for him, none of them will work unless he finds the motivation to do something himself, in which case your research may be welcomed.
It's impossible to manage someone elses diabetes once the diabetic is older than about 14 years old.

Please don't burn yourself out trying to do it for him while he isn't ready to commit to taking care of his diabetes. It's not your fault, but it's also not your responsibility, you're trying to do the impossible.

I'm not familiar with mental health care in the UK so I don't have any practical tips on where to find help. Tagging @AndBreathe , who knows a lot about just about anything, and @Lamont D , who has had very good results with mental health care on different subjects, they may have some ideas on where to start.
Also, have you asked your GP? This can be very helpful.

Thank you, I suppose you're right about the psychologist. If I don't narrow it, I might find someone who can talk with me in my first language, which would make things easier for me.

I thought of calling my GP as I know I haven't been okay for a long time, but decided against it in the end. Years ago I booked an appointment for a really bad back pain that wouldn't go away with over-the-counter painkillers. A long time later, I needed a health certificate from them to register my overseas degree with the professional body and they refused to give me one saying that I wasn't fit to work because I had back pain! I can't imagine what they would put on my health check if I had any complaints about mental health...

 

[lovinglife]

Hi @Trishhh

Sorry you are going through this, there is an NHS service that you can self refer to, I’ve used talking therapy in the past and found it quite useful

NHS talking therapies for anxiety and depression

How to access free psychological therapies (talking therapies) like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), counselling and guided self-help on the NHS.

www.nhs.uk

 

[AndBreathe]

@Trishhh - All diabetes departments in clinics have psychologists, but I have no idea if they offer support for partners etc.

Infuriatingly, a few days ago a site popped up in my browser for a charity offering just what you are after. It was fee based, but I didn't explore costs. I saved it on my browser, but must have closed the window without bookmarking at some stage.

In terms of NHS support, I know my surgery allows us to self-refer if we feel the need, but from what I can tell that self-referral just leads to a triage and placement on a looooong waiting list.

In your shoes, I would contact the relevant person's clinic and ask what options are available there, or if they know of anything privately. Your challenge may well be that the person living with diabetes is not you (although I get that you may be living with a person living with diabetes, and thereby you sort of are), so you either need their consent to reveal their name, or be discreet in your contacts.

I've just had a look at my local Nuffield Hospital and they have Psychology and Psychiatry services avail that cite "adjusting to living with a long term condition", without specifying any condition. (My local Spire doesn't appear to offer any psychological services at all, so hospitals/Groups may differ.

It could be worth approaching someone like that to see what they offer. It could be they have something very suitable, but not stated as Diabetes. It really will all depend on the specifics of the issues you want to discuss.

Sorry not to be more helpful. I just wish I still had that link.

 

[MissMuffett]

@Trishhh you can self refer to Talking Therapies. You Start by filling in a questionnaire online and from those results it prompts them to respond. I got a phone call that day and I filled out my questionnaire at 2am! You can have sessions face to face, by zoom one to one or group plus emails etc. I thoroughly recommend giving it a go to start with. Just sharing how I feel was such a relief.

Edit: Sorry for repeating what @lovinglife has posted, I didn’t read the other post before posting mine

 

[Lamont D]

Not knowing anymore than you have posted and trying to get to give you some help, I can only explain what I did and hopefully encourage you to seek help.
I am still struggling with my life experience and am still in counselling.

My first step after a breakdown during covid and obviously restricted access to health issues. Was a phone call followed by an e-consult to my surgery. My GP phoned me within in a day recognising my despair.
I was on the phone for over half an hour. I was given remote counselling within two weeks, in which my gp, had already seen me face to face, and helped me in so many ways. I was after that referred to my second counselling sessions cos I hadn't improved much and certain symptoms were recurring, my GP again!
That was with mind UK.
Six months ago I found out more health issues for both myself and my wife, and I couldn't cope with the burden of being my wife's carer and a situation where I was not capable of actual health care for her, I arranged a referral through my new GP, who is just as good as my last one, but the counselling service was full. However, I met with the counselling manager and described my situation. He phoned me back within a week and I have been seeing this counsellor now for originally eight sessions, but I had my eleventh today.

Do not be wary or anxious of your GP, they cannot and will not release information about you without permission or your knowledge, the whole system is confidential.
Be honest, be truthful, be positive, even ask for an appointment for something else, if you are uncertain of the reaction. A doctor will always ask, anything else?
If you want to go private, it's not cheap and its still usually within a few weeks. But you might still have to go through your surgery. They know you and yours health history.
I'm a man and I had to admit certain failings, to get the help I really needed, most men will not admit to weakness or failings, until they actually face it themselves.
My wife is disabled and is having short term memory loss, I needed to push for her mental health whilst mine was going through anxiety and depression issues. It is not easy, it can be even more traumatic to help someone whilst struggling yourself.
Best advice, speak to someone, anyone you can trust.
Your first step was coming on here explaining your circumstances the next is to talk to someone who can help you. To help you understand your anxiety, your feelings.
Even if it's a service such as Samaritans. There are helplines, there are people on the other end of the phone who have been trained to listen. And advise, and encourage the next step. That is their purpose.
Please do not do nothing.
Take care.
My best wishes.

 

[lovinglife]

@Lamont D I wanted to give you so many of the emojis, a hug for your circumstances, a winner for how you’ve dealt with it but went with a friendly for sharing your story and baring your soul - hope you continue to improve in all the circumstances of your life

Edited to tag the right person! My apologies

 

[HSSS]

@HSSS, I wanted to give you so many of the emojis, a hug for your circumstances, a winner for how you’ve dealt with it but went with a friendly for sharing your story and baring your soul - hope you continue to improve in all the circumstances of your life

Wrong person tagged here. Hopefully the right one will see it

 

[lovinglife]

Wrong person tagged here. Hopefully the right one will see it

Oh heck thanks for the heads up, have edited it to tag the right member - need to get more sleep

 

[Lamont D]

@Lamont D I wanted to give you so many of the emojis, a hug for your circumstances, a winner for how you’ve dealt with it but went with a friendly for sharing your story and baring your soul - hope you continue to improve in all the circumstances of your life

Edited to tag the right person! My apologies

No probs, and thank you. It is hard and demanding, but what else can I do?
I am ever optimistic that things can get better, but I know some aspects won't!
I have to try.

Thanks again.

 

[MrsA2]

@Trishhh
When I was desperate for a family member to get counselling it didn't work when I arranged it. He went but refused to talk to her.
I then started having counselling for myself. It did help me feel better, but also had the unexpected bonus of him seeing how it was helping me.
So after a while I gave him the BACP list of counsellors, he chose one himself, went along and it became a massive turning point.
Not diabetes related I know, but still an example of leading by example rather than pushing from behind
Here's the list

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

BACP is the professional association for members of the counselling professions in the UK. We exist for one simple reason - counselling changes lives

www.bacp.co.uk

Good luck

 

[Trishhh]

Hi @Trishhh

Sorry you are going through this, there is an NHS service that you can self refer to, I’ve used talking therapy in the past and found it quite useful

NHS talking therapies for anxiety and depression

How to access free psychological therapies (talking therapies) like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), counselling and guided self-help on the NHS.

www.nhs.uk

Thank you dear. I'll have a look.

 

[Trishhh]

@Trishhh - All diabetes departments in clinics have psychologists, but I have no idea if they offer support for partners etc.

Infuriatingly, a few days ago a site popped up in my browser for a charity offering just what you are after. It was fee based, but I didn't explore costs. I saved it on my browser, but must have closed the window without bookmarking at some stage.

In terms of NHS support, I know my surgery allows us to self-refer if we feel the need, but from what I can tell that self-referral just leads to a triage and placement on a looooong waiting list.

In your shoes, I would contact the relevant person's clinic and ask what options are available there, or if they know of anything privately. Your challenge may well be that the person living with diabetes is not you (although I get that you may be living with a person living with diabetes, and thereby you sort of are), so you either need their consent to reveal their name, or be discreet in your contacts.

I've just had a look at my local Nuffield Hospital and they have Psychology and Psychiatry services avail that cite "adjusting to living with a long term condition", without specifying any condition. (My local Spire doesn't appear to offer any psychological services at all, so hospitals/Groups may differ.

It could be worth approaching someone like that to see what they offer. It could be they have something very suitable, but not stated as Diabetes. It really will all depend on the specifics of the issues you want to discuss.

Sorry not to be more helpful. I just wish I still had that link.

Thank you dear. And don't worry about the link, I'll sort it out. You all have helped just by being here listening to me and giving me ideas. I'm very grateful to all of you

 

[Trishhh]

@Lamont D I'm sorry to hear you've gone through such a tough time, and I'm very grateful to you for sharing your story with us and to encourage me. I'll take your advice and talk to my GP.

 

[Trishhh]

@MrsA2

Thank you for the link, my dear! And for the idea! I'll certainly try counselling myself because I feel that I really need it anyway, and hopefully he'll see an improvement, envy me and beg me to share my secret!