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Don't involve yourself in the blame game.

Discussion in 'Type 2 Diabetes' started by catherinecherub, Jun 17, 2011.

  1. HpprKM

    HpprKM · Well-Known Member

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    I can thread is a little old, just want to say that for me, at least T2 is not about weight loss as my weight at 5'5", female, fluctuate between 8.5 to 9 stone -currently 8.11. Strictly genetic which kind of makes it harder to deal with as weight loss not my answer.
     
  2. catherinecherub

    catherinecherub · Guest

    My original post was to try and help motivate and give moral support to people who were finding it very difficult to move forward owing to the stereotyping that they were getting from the media. If you read through the thread you will see that it helped a lot of people.
    Genetics are a risk factor but so is obesity. Neither of them are causes or else whole families would have diabetes throughout generations and everyone who was obese would as well

    If you are having difficulty in maintaining your weight as I am then the best thing I found was to work out how many calories are needed and use the foods that you know do not raise your blood sugars to reach the required number. There are several sites if you Google weight maintenance.

    http://www.mayoclinic.org/calorie-calculator/itt-20084939
     
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  3. suzie_girl

    suzie_girl · Active Member

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    That's not strictly true, as it's not how genetic conditions work. Not 100% of the offspring of a person with a genetic condition get it, my two sisters are not diabetic. But I have all of the genetic conditions my mother has, and that's just bad luck, simple as that. As I knew I had her other conditions I took it apon myself decades ago to eat 'like a diabetic'. This did not stop my getting type 2, it just meant that when it was picked up I was only just on a reading of 40. I am now this year at 39, eating the same style of diet I have throughout that time. So it's not a matter of other environmental issues which made the condition come on, it's pure genetics. It's just bad luck of being the 1 in 3.

    As this lovely thread correctly says through it, I am not 'to blame' for my condition, my constant good control proves that, so I refuse on any level to feel guilt about it, or hear other people's amazing 'advice' about diabetes, even when it's from other diabetics telling me about 'good carbs' in bread :rolleyes: This forum and a meter were a HUGE help at first to make sure I knew which things to definitely avoid or have in small doses.

    I agree with your comments about weight. Whilst it's not good for anyone to be wildly overweight, lets not kid ourselves, it absolutely as you say is NOT the cause of type 2 diabetes. I know many people who are heavier than me, less fit than me, eat like complete hogs or live on sugary drinks and are not magically diabetic, so that's a completely unfair myth, good to see people fighting back against it.
     
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  4. clairemcg

    clairemcg Type 2 · Active Member

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    This made me smile and start to think about things a little differently, I'm only 3 weeks diagnosed, but I do feel like I should keep T2 under wraps because others will Judge me,
    But now I'm thinking, let them judge, let them Biaatch and Let them Go :). While I use this as a start to a new healthier me. Thank you
     
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  5. Sigalit

    Sigalit Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I was told it's the reason why diabetes type 2 gets such mimimum support from the state, unlike people that are on a gluten-free diet, for example (they get a montly contribution to buy flour) - because 'it's your own fault for getting it'. Sure, I'm overweight. And I have diabetes in my family. But it seems the real reason I got it (and a partial reason of my overweight) is incorrect treatment of the polycystic ovary syndrome... My biggest fault is that I trusted my doctor. :(
     
  6. calhux

    calhux Type 2 · Newbie

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    I have PCOS too, which has been found to be a symptom of being born with a faulty pyloric valve in the stomach, which ultimately affects hormones. I also have family history from both parents so I was always destined to become diabetic. I used to be athletic and skinny and only gained weight when I started with menopausal symptoms. Diet has no effect on my weight - I can gain or lose a stone in a few weeks for no apparent reason. I am currently slightly overweight and feel really cross when the media portray diabetics as people who sit around and eat fast food all day - I know people who do and not only are they not diabetic, but they aren't particularly large either!
     
  7. Xan2cv

    Xan2cv Type 2 · Member

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    There is nothing worse than a Big 30 stone GP sitting there and telling you at 19 stone and 6ft 6ins tall
    that you are obese, my answer was you can talk sunshine in your profession I would have thought you would be setting an example.
     
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  8. Lexa_x

    Lexa_x Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I fully blame myself. I'm only 27. :(
     
  9. Mike d

    Mike d Type 2 · Expert

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    As well you might, but the question is should you? The fact you're only 27 is the clue. At some point, you have to let that go and look beyond to a brighter future @Lexa_x

    Resigning yourself to the fact you have this condition is one thing. Acceptance is another. Dealing with it is what we're here for.

    I wish you well :)
     
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  10. MrsTeaPea

    MrsTeaPea Type 2 · Newbie

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    I blame myself also after the birth of my babies the diabetes didn't go and I didn't help myself I ate to combat fatigue and got larger and larger I feel like a huge drain the NHS.
     
  11. gemma6549

    gemma6549 · Guest

    I'm type 1 but I personally don't think that type 2's should feel guilty, blame themselves or be blamed for their condition.

    It's an ongoing argument I have with my diabetes nurse whenever I sympathise with the difficulty for type 2's in gaining good control compared to type 1's. She says I shouldn't sympathise because "they brought it on themselves"

    I strongly disagree.

    We all do things on a daily basis that might put us at risk of all sorts of things. Not everyone that smokes goes on to get cancer. In that respect I think there are so many factors that can be considered and sometimes it really is just bad luck.

    Type 2 diabetes carries such a negative and unfair stigma and so many people associate it with obesity, this isn't always the case. I'm sure there are also many obese people who don't have diabetes.

    Any medical condition is a hard thing to live with and nobody "deserves" any of it.

    Don't blame yourselves for having it but commend yourselves for living with it and managing it as well as you can.
     
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  12. RosannaPownall

    RosannaPownall Type 2 · Member

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    If I'm honest I don't blame myself at all it's just one of those things.

    I'm only 23.

    At 16 I was a size 12 - perfectly healthy, went shopping at least every Saturday so that was good exercise! The weight just began to happen whereas nothing changed in my eating pattern. Went to the doctors (thought maybe I was pregnant) - test was negative but no period went for a scan and was told I had polycystic ovarian syndrome.

    Weight ha built, food has reduced and excercise increased but so did the waistline and I'm now an obese size 24 with type 2 diabetes.

    I tried my best to prevent it, I ate a perfectly balanced diet and rarely had any treats, went to the gym daily and did at least 4 hours intensity training and workouts a day.

    So no I don't blame myself, the weight began because of a hormone malfunction. Still does now. PCOS causes weight gain and makes it hard to loose that's a well known fact it also causes type 2 diabetes.

    Unfortunately of the doctors would have listened to me 7 years ago I probe would be fine now - but nope the answer even when I was a size 12 was "just loose some weight" - like it's easy.
     
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  13. Lexa_x

    Lexa_x Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I have PCOS. I feel your pain!
     
  14. christi99

    christi99 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Boy, let me tell you... the stigma is pure and simply ignorance! I have been a type 2 diabetic since I had my children (onset gestationally) as well as my brother. We have always been thin, extremely active AND I have always eaten very healthy. But still type 2 diabetic and as I get older, not controlled well. My son who is 22 just was diagnosed as type 2 and he is about 40 lbs overweight- he is 6'5 so 40 lbs isn't very extreme. Well the judgement, lack of empathy, even mean comments made to him has been simply unbelievable- even by loving family members. He had facial surgery - ate 600-1000 calories a day for 3 months (due to pain, difficulty chewing and wanted to lose weight), walked daily and lost 10 lbs! Most people would have lost WAY more without the metabolic issues.
    My brother and I have never gotten that because we were thin- but it is obviously a genetic issue - not just a diet issue or lifestyle issue (although I know both diet and exercise will impact diabetes positively). Still, I have friends that are 100 lbs overweight with NO blood glucose issues. There is no room for uncaring behavior and blame in this disease (or any disease for that matter). People often look for a reason to blame the person BECAUSE they want to insulate themselves from getting a disease, so they want to believe it is always controllable. It just is not.
     
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    #274 christi99, Apr 30, 2015 at 1:43 AM
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 30, 2015
  15. marilynafrost

    marilynafrost · Member

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    Eddie, I am also obese now but I never used to be. I had gestational diabetes with both my pregnancies and was told after tests that I would be on insulin by the age of 35. I was tested annually but always remained ok. I was finally found to be diabetic about 18 months ago at the age of 64 immediately after giving up smoking. Since then the weight has piled on. My pancreas was damaged when my gallbladder burst 12 yrs ago. I really don't think this is my fault, it seems it was inevitable and I am proud of the fact that I kept it at bay for so long. Don't be so down on yourself. There are a lot of obese people who are not diabetic, you, like me, was preordained to have this horrible thing.
     
  16. christi99

    christi99 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    The bottom line is that losing weight is not that easy, especially for people who have type 2 diabetes. It is a complex metabolic issue. Yes, if one does find a way to motivate oneself, to participate in a weight loss and exercise program and also to attend some sort of support group (or have support of friends, family etc), of course this will impact T2DM. I was told by a specialist that even 10 minutes a day of aerobic exercise will decrease insulin resistance markedly. Having less food intake will also require less insulin, if your pancreas is pooping out. But... this is NOT AN EASY THING TO DO... especially long term. That is why the weight loss industry is a multi-billion dollar game. So at the very least do not feel alone- it is not easy with the current western lifestyle and diet.

    Also self-shame and blame will get you nowhere. The only way we can find the strength and motivation to successfully engage in lifestyle or behavioral change is if we love ourselves enough to do it. Look in the mirror everyday and say to yourself "I love you, you are a special, wonderful person" or something like that. It may sound or feel silly- but it works. Research has even shown PET scan activity changes in the brain with positive affirmations. It's easy , free and you will eventually believe it, even if you don't at first. And take one day at at time... every day is a fresh start to create change.
     
  17. NoCrbs4Me

    NoCrbs4Me I reversed my Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Losing weight is not easy because the medical industry gives us the wrong advice! After I ditched the refined carbs, refined veg/grain oil and factory processed food, losing weight was one of the easiest things I've ever done in my life.
     
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  18. christi99

    christi99 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I agree with you on this point (in fact for other reasons than weight loss, I went gluten free, low carb). However, clearly there are people who are able to eat carbs, fruit, dairy products etc. with no health or weight problems. Then there are others, who perhaps due to genetics or whatever, have a metabolic difference with how they process carbs, sugars, fats or whatever. But I do agree, the processed, typical western diet is littered with harmful additives, low quality fats, carbs stripped of nutrition etc. etc. Even produce is grown in depleted soil and animals raised in mass "factories" are fed compete ****- that we eat. I am trying to get my son on the diet that you speak of because i do believe it is the best option for people with metabolic syndrome and T2 DM.
     
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    #278 christi99, Jun 5, 2015 at 3:00 AM
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 5, 2015
  19. NoCrbs4Me

    NoCrbs4Me I reversed my Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Anyone who wants to have long term good health should eat real food and avoid factory processed food, even if they can tolerate refined carbs.
     
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  20. christi99

    christi99 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I agree that the only healthy way to eat, is to eat real food. I just think the quality of produce, meat and fish are definitely less than our ancestors had available. Our fish is contaminated with mercury too! What I was saying though is that many people can metabolize carbs effectively ( and I mean quality complex carbs like brown rice, quinoa, whole grains, fruit) without insulin or inflammatory issues. I do think that most people's lifestyles are pretty sedentary and do not require the carbs like we might have when we had to walk or run everywhere, and do everything without the use of machines. But I am going low carb, and gluten free, and hoping to reverse my BS and autoimmune issues.
     
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