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Family woes

K

Kentoldlady1

Well-Known Member
Messages
731
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Morning all. I have a tricky home life problem.
My family love me, I know that, and want whats best. BUT. They really dont understand the low carb thing. They are convinced I am starving myself and are convinced that at the end of 8 weeks (doing the blood sugar diet as a quick start) I will go back to eating carbs.

Yesterday my daughter made lunch and watched every mouthful I ate. My daughter in law did much the same later on. My daughter and son in law are living with us at the moment and she does about half the cooking. I am starting to feel as tho I have an eating disorder just because I dont want to eat potatoes.

I had about 6 stone to lose, so I am not going to waste away any time soon. They have said they want me to do it slowly, that 800 cals a day is not enough, that whole grains are good for you......

I felt pressured yesterday and so had a salad with jacket potato, fruit salad with yoghurt. In much bigger portions than I wanted. In the evening we had chicken wraps. My bsl was 8.1 two hours later. I have not gone above 6 for weeks.

What do I do? I have left various books laying about and told them about this website. But this is met with explanations about the eatwell guide and the nhs advice. They seem to think that lchf is just another faddy diet.

I know I am really very lucky. They love me and really care. But I think they are going to love me into run away t2d!! How do others deal with this? I dont want to argue. But I think that they are as convinced on the rightness of the nhs advice as I am of the lchf WOE.

Any advice very gratefully received.
 
Sadly I think people have been mislead about diet and nutrition for so long that we are forced to believe carbs are essential in high quantities. Have you also considered that they may be worried about you changing with losing the weight? There can be some negative emotions attached to seeing a loved one lose weight - friend of mine lost alot of weight she looks amazing but sadly some friends were actually jealous of her and she now sees very little of them as they prefer the old version who wasn't a threat. I would sit down with your family and explain to them why you need to do this and that you need their support - show them this site too, by doing so you are also helping them to review their attitude to food and ensuring their long term health too.
 
I think I might tell them that it was eating the way they suggest that led to a diagnosis of T2 in the first place.
(of course this is a vast oversimplification, and may not even be accurate, but it is a simple way to get the idea across)

And I would also be very clear that the 800cal blood sugar diet is just for 8 weeks.
A fraction of a year.
A fraction that may make a huge difference to your life and your health in the long term.

Families are very tricky, and there is a heck of a lot of 'loving' manipulation and emotional blackmail that can happen in the belief that one person knows better than another. It is very difficult to fight that kind of 'love' but for 8 weeks? Go for it. :)
 
All you can do is carry on and don't give in to them. It won't be long before they see the results in your weight loss and that you are even healthier and doing well. If you share your finger prick results with them, show them your records, and if you keep a food diary with your levels alongside they will also see at a glance how well you are doing diabetes-wise. If that doesn't change their minds, nothing will.

My husband eats carbs and a lot of them. He is slowly coming round to my way of thinking - and its well over 3 years since I started. On the few occasions I have eaten something naughty (and I do, I'm human) when I finger prick afterwards he always asks me what it is, and when it's high (for me) his face turns white. He isn't diabetic, but I would like to bet that if his annual HbA1c increases, he will stop the carbs of his own free will.
 
Well sorry you are having the problem but I think it is difficult for families to understand when we have stopped eating the things we always have done..I don't really know much about the 8 weeks sugar diet but 800 calories a day seems very low to me I think I would disappear on a diet that low but then my problem is keeping weight on. I can understand why they are worried it must seem like a starvation diet to them and they will probably be happier if or when you increase it a bit but without eating more of the starchy carbs.
 
Don't most people seem to trust Michael Mosley because he's on the telly? Can't you keep waving a copy of his book under their nose or tell them to read it before questioning you choices?
 
I'd agree with much of what has been said on your thread already, in terms of following your way of eating and moving towards a better place.

I must say that, for me, familial persuasion to "..... just have a bit...." or "....only a small portion...." doesn't wash it. In my family that would just fuel their belief that I could be made to see the right in the Eat Well Guide, and not do anything to resolve the pressurisation.

There may be times when things might become a bit "tense", but that's almost inevitable. Either they will be tense, because they aren't in favour of your chosen approach, or you will be tense, because you're doing what you believe isn't in your best interests; which has the potential to spill over into impacting them too.

Your eating high carb foods (when not your choice) will only impact you in the shorter term, so I'm afraid you're the one who needs to stand fast or accept that the pressure for "just one" or "only a bit" is likely to become a more frequent pressure.

Over time they're likely to get used to your new way of being.
 
My daughter used to give me this same stick. She also gave me grief about my 'baby bump'/ But then i started LCHF and showed her my daily log so she could see from the graphs how it affected both my BGL and my weight. I have never done the 800 cal type diet myself, but she could see from my well stocked LC plate that i was not on a starvation path.

Then we got her to try LC pizza, and a few other LC meals - she now prefers the LC variant, and requests it instead of her normal carby foods. She has even cut out sugar and crisps, She is no longer lecturing me over the HF intake either so although I still cook her a white pot or white rice where I have a sweetpot or a Lidl Roll she will happily eat cauli mash, So I found that involving my family in my care has helped get us over the Eatwell syndrome. Even my GP is impressed.

You only need to convert yourself. The others will get the message through your own results. Lead by example, not dictat.

The down side is that now I am chief cook and bottle washer.
 
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They need a serious reality check. Show them your meter and the readings you were getting, and the one from yesterday. Ask them what they think they are doing pressuring you into eating foods which do that to your readings.
You might have to start to cook for yourself - and eating alone if they are going to try to dictate to you.
Personally - I'd be inclined to put a lock on the kitchen door and tell them that from now on you are the head chef, and they can like it or lump it - anything not on your shopping list/menu is not going to be served up.
 
Resurgam said:
I'd be inclined to put a lock on the kitchen door and tell them that from now on you are the head chef, and they can like it or lump it - anything not on your shopping list/menu is not going to be served up.
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While the family should respect what we want to eat I do not think it is fair to impose our diet on them If we low carb that's our choice to treat our diabetes how we think is best for us but we should not expect the rest of the family to follow it not unless they want to
 
My body, my health, my choice. Period. I also had my son and daughter in law living with me with three kids. We shared the cooking as well. I continued to eat very low carb but never expected anyone else to eat my way. They made sure when cooking that there was something I could eat or made arrangements for me to cook my own food if they were having something I could not eat. Sharing meter readings, especially when higher than I would like, showed them what foods were doing to me. Be firm and respectful of their opinions but... My body, my health, my choice.
 
Kentoldlady1 said:
Morning all. I have a tricky home life problem.
My family love me, I know that, and want whats best. BUT. They really dont understand the low carb thing. They are convinced I am starving myself and are convinced that at the end of 8 weeks (doing the blood sugar diet as a quick start) I will go back to eating carbs.

Yesterday my daughter made lunch and watched every mouthful I ate. My daughter in law did much the same later on. My daughter and son in law are living with us at the moment and she does about half the cooking. I am starting to feel as tho I have an eating disorder just because I dont want to eat potatoes.

I had about 6 stone to lose, so I am not going to waste away any time soon. They have said they want me to do it slowly, that 800 cals a day is not enough, that whole grains are good for you......

I felt pressured yesterday and so had a salad with jacket potato, fruit salad with yoghurt. In much bigger portions than I wanted. In the evening we had chicken wraps. My bsl was 8.1 two hours later. I have not gone above 6 for weeks.

What do I do? I have left various books laying about and told them about this website. But this is met with explanations about the eatwell guide and the nhs advice. They seem to think that lchf is just another faddy diet.

I know I am really very lucky. They love me and really care. But I think they are going to love me into run away t2d!! How do others deal with this? I dont want to argue. But I think that they are as convinced on the rightness of the nhs advice as I am of the lchf WOE.

Any advice very gratefully received.
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Prove them wrong. Your palate will change and those potatoes can wave goodbye , I have told people I have researched all this and I an following a plan leave it alone and just support me or this all is off topic. Period.
 
Thank you all so much.
The advice to share meter readings is very good and I am going to do this. Infact, yesterday my daughter asked to do hers so it was a good learning experience!
They still believe inthe eatwell guide and the wrongness of lchf but will have to believe the evidence of thier own eyes.
My bsl has been so good on thisway of eating that I cannot see me ever wanting to change it. Who would want to risk all the complications when there is a chance you can do something about it?

I think it is harder doing this very big change when we share living space with those not on this plan, particularly when there are children. But I think it can be done and many on here have done it.
Many thanks.
 
Kentoldlady1 said:
Thank you all so much.
The advice to share meter readings is very good and I am going to do this. Infact, yesterday my daughter asked to do hers so it was a good learning experience!
They still believe inthe eatwell guide and the wrongness of lchf but will have to believe the evidence of thier own eyes.
My bsl has been so good on thisway of eating that I cannot see me ever wanting to change it. Who would want to risk all the complications when there is a chance you can do something about it?

I think it is harder doing this very big change when we share living space with those not on this plan, particularly when there are children. But I think it can be done and many on here have done it.
Many thanks.
Click to expand...
Bon Voyage, Bon appetite, It can be done,
 
Well done you for sticking to your resolve, one can only hope that the more they see of the changes to your bs levels and general health, the more they will turn towards supporting you. That's how it was with my own family - they event adopted some of the low carb principles for themselves!
 
I was eating low carb all through my family life, and it was no problem at all for me to prepare a meal which suited my requirements and then to add in what the others wanted or needed to eat.
There was no needing to adapt to an alternative lifestyle, it was just how we ate for years.
My suggestion about locking the kitchen was in order to restore the proper pecking order, I have nothing against access, just on the proper terms and conditions.
 
We don't really know if every single spike over normal blood glucose is a tiny step towards microscopic damage in our eyes and our circulation. I explain that to people who suggest a piece of cake once in a while won't hurt as I'm not willing to risk it and anyway sweet cake tastes awful to me now. My family were concerned when I started eating very low carb after diagnosis and although I wasn't calorie restricting I lost 22 pounds fairly fast, back to the weight I was when I was 20. I have maintained that weight for a year now, still eat low carb and have more energy than ever. My family now embrace what I am doing, they are all eating less carbs than they did (they are not living at home) and they feel better for it. Your family need time to adjust but when they see how well you are and how much fitter, they will probably come round. It can be hard to be a lone voice but keep going - you really will be rewarded!
 
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