Help Needed For Wife Of Diabetic Husband

Metformin is NOT managing. Diet is. The effects will be cumulative ... and serious until he gets control

HbA1C reading?

Hi, Metformon definitely is not a magic bullet, I would suggest you buy some test strips for his meter and get him to test before food and again 2 hrs afterwards. I managed to get my blood glucose levels into the normal range by testing to see what foods affected my levels and as a result going very low carb.

Kayleigh1008 said:

He has stopped testing his blood sugar daily, should I inform him to call the drs to get more strips etc so he can monitor this. .

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Unfortunately if you are in England unless on glucose lowering drugs (which does not include metformin), the doctors will generally now not prescribe test strips (too expensive) so you have to buy them yourself (many T2's on these forums do) - I'm sure someone can say which ones are the cheapest.

@Kayleigh1008 ... They are not good figures, not even in the 60s. He's 37 for pity's sake. The mantra is you turn your back on the incoming waves and you'll pay the price. Do it now, look back and they soon subside to ripples

Kayleigh1008 said:

Thank you so much Ian - I think you are right. He should be testing again, I made him test the other day as he has spares still. And after a day of what he thought was good eating his level was still 10 plus.

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I've tagged @daisy1 she will give you the basic information so that you can show your husband and hopefuly make him realise how serious this can be.

Kayleigh1008 said:

Thank you so much Ian - I think you are right. He should be testing again, I made him test the other day as he has spares still. And after a day of what he thought was good eating his level was still 10 plus.

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I was diagnosed around the time of the BBC Panarama program on Type 2 Diabetes, it scared the poop out of me and gave me the incentive.

Hi Kayleigh and welcome to the Forum. I see daisy1 has been tagged for her useful info post. Please try and get your husband to read it with you. He has to take his Diabetes seriously, if not he risks loosing his eye sight, limbs and kidney function. Loads of us on this forum use low carbohydrate eating to achieve normal blood sugar readings and therefore non diabetic HbA1cs too. Encourage him to look at the Low Carb Sub Forum thread entitled what have you eaten today and see the fantastic food and shared recipes. I’m on Metformin but that only helps a little, my low carb eating is what really counts, it got my HbA1c down from 70 at diagnosis in May ‘17 to 45 two months later, then after two more months it was in the mid 30s and has stayed there ever since.

Sadly, your hubby is not alone in thinking that taking tablets means that Diabetes can be ignored. Diet is paramount when it comes to good management. Bite the bullet and buy the strips.

Hi Kayleigh and welcome. You have come to the right place. Metformin isn't the magic pill many seem to think it is. Not enough emphasis is put on that fact when it's prescribed I feel. Diet and exercise are so important also. And testing. If your husband tests before eating and 2 hours after he will soon know which foods to avoid. His HBA1C would come down to a much healthier level and this in turn helps to avoid the complications of diabetes. He can still enjoy his food. I mean how can you not enjoy eggs and bacon for breakfast! There is a section on the forum all about metformin which might be helpful. And I can see you have been given a link to the low carb food section.

https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/category/metformin-biguanides.52/

Hi @Kayleigh1008,
1) please ensure that you do not participate in his unhealthy eating habits. When one of a couple is T2D, there is a greater chance that the other member will develop T2D.
2) do not give into his behaviour, Stock and cook only healthy foods, no soft drink. minimum alcohol etc If you can gain support for your stance from his parents and siblings, so much the better.
3) write to his doctor to explain your concerns and ask about low carb diets (read up in this site) Doctors are human and can become used to prescribing medications to 'fix' diabetics and forget that diet counts as just as or more important in some people. ( also your husband may be telling porky pies to the doctor about his diet)
4) in addition to measuring blood sugars which as other has said may be difficult to have funded consider a weekly weigh, you and him. If you might need to watch your weight, have a competition. You will need to decide of how scores are kept, how to prevent begging off and cheating plus what incentives can be built into the competition. ( maybe being let off chores, but that works both ways so he may have to do the cooking sometimes, wish is not a bad idea for him to get used to his diet).
5) scary programs about the complications of diabetes sometimes work but the scarier the more that denial may occur
6) encourage him to develop friendships with people who eat healthy diets, who exercise etc - sometimes taking up an interest or hobby helps in this regard ( but not wine-tasting, bowls or golf (with drinks at the clubhouse later)
7) also look at activities you can take on as a couple - e.g. dancing classes
8) for superstitious reasons I never like to finish at 7 so .. perhaps a subtle hint about how good management of his diabetes can help maintain his sexual prowess ( and poor diet etc will do the opposite) might just be the carrot required !!
Good luck !!

@Kayleigh1008

Hello Kayleigh and welcome to the Forum Here is the Basic Information we give to new members and I hope you and your husband will find it interesting and useful. Ask as many questions as you want and someone will be able to help.

BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEW MEMBERS

Diabetes is the general term to describe people who have blood that is sweeter than normal. A number of different types of diabetes exist.

A diagnosis of diabetes tends to be a big shock for most of us. It’s far from the end of the world though and on this forum you'll find well over 235,000 people who are demonstrating this.

On the forum we have found that with the number of new people being diagnosed with diabetes each day, sometimes the NHS is not being able to give all the advice it would perhaps like to deliver - particularly with regards to people with type 2 diabetes.

The role of carbohydrate

Carbohydrates are a factor in diabetes because they ultimately break down into sugar (glucose) within our blood. We then need enough insulin to either convert the blood sugar into energy for our body, or to store the blood sugar as body fat.

If the amount of carbohydrate we take in is more than our body’s own (or injected) insulin can cope with, then our blood sugar will rise.

The bad news

Research indicates that raised blood sugar levels over a period of years can lead to organ damage, commonly referred to as diabetic complications.

The good news

People on the forum here have shown that there is plenty of opportunity to keep blood sugar levels from going too high. It’s a daily task but it’s within our reach and it’s well worth the effort.

Controlling your carbs

The info below is primarily aimed at people with type 2 diabetes, however, it may also be of benefit for other types of diabetes as well.

There are two approaches to controlling your carbs:

• Reduce your carbohydrate intake
• Choose ‘better’ carbohydrates

Reduce your carbohydrates

A large number of people on this forum have chosen to reduce the amount of carbohydrates they eat as they have found this to be an effective way of improving (lowering) their blood sugar levels.

The carbohydrates which tend to have the most pronounced effect on blood sugar levels tend to be starchy carbohydrates such as rice, pasta, bread, potatoes and similar root vegetables, flour based products (pastry, cakes, biscuits, battered food etc) and certain fruits.

Choosing better carbohydrates

The low glycaemic index diet is often favoured by healthcare professionals but some people with diabetes find that low GI does not help their blood sugar enough and may wish to cut out these foods altogether.

Read more on carbohydrates and diabetes.

Over 145,000 people have taken part in the Low Carb Program - a 10 week structured education course that is helping people lose weight and reduce medication dependency by explaining the science behind carbs, insulin and GI.

Eating what works for you

Different people respond differently to different types of food. What works for one person may not work so well for another. The best way to see which foods are working for you is to test your blood sugar with a glucose meter.

To be able to see what effect a particular type of food or meal has on your blood sugar is to do a test before the meal and then test after the meal. A test 2 hours after the meal gives a good idea of how your body has reacted to the meal.

The blood sugar ranges recommended by NICE are as follows:

Blood glucose ranges for type 2 diabetes

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 8.5 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (adults)

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 9 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (children)

• Before meals: 4 to 8 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 10 mmol/l

However, those that are able to, may wish to keep blood sugar levels below the NICE after meal targets.

Access to blood glucose test strips

The NICE guidelines suggest that people newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes should be offered:

• structured education to every person and/or their carer at and around the time of diagnosis, with annual reinforcement and review
• self-monitoring of plasma glucose to a person newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes only as an integral part of his or her self-management education

Therefore both structured education and self-monitoring of blood glucose should be offered to people with type 2 diabetes. Read more on getting access to blood glucose testing supplies.

You may also be interested to read questions to ask at a diabetic clinic.

Note: This post has been edited from Sue/Ken's post to include up to date information.
Take part in Diabetes.co.uk digital education programs and improve your understanding. Most of these are free.

• Low Carb Program - it's made front-page news of the New Scientist and The Times. Developed with 20,000 people with type 2 diabetes; 96% of people who take part recommend it... find out why
  
  
• Hypo Program - improve your understanding of hypos. There's a version for people with diabetes, parents/guardians of children with type 1, children with type 1 diabetes, teachers and HCPs.
  

Kayleigh1008 said:

Thank you Mike for your speedy reply,

from memory his reading was in the 90s when I finally managed to get him in the drs to be tested, he was placed on different medication for a while until it lowered. It lowered however I think it is still in the 60s? He has stopped testing his blood sugar daily, should I inform him to call the drs to get more strips etc so he can monitor this. I feel as though his blood sugar could be sky high and he is ignoring this as not seeing the number flashing in front of him. I feel that he doesnt think that diabetes has many side effects which is so so wrong.

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It sounds to me like your husband is purposly burying his head in the sand hoping his 'problem' will just go away! I did the same at first and wasted a year where I could have had better control. Consequently I have now found that I have some damage to my eyesight He needs a wake up call Kayleigh otherwise he will deeply regret it later.

Hi Kayleigh,
Some of the advice given here sounds like you are looking after a child, buying his food, feeding him, checking his levels and all whilst he seems to be ignoring his own health. I get that anyone would be wanting their partner to be healthy but I am not sure babying him (or nagging as you put it) would help. If you employ this strategy he will only continue to eat rubbish at work or when you are not about etc. In my opinion he MUST start looking after himself, you are his wife not his carer. It's so hard to make someone accept that unless they buck up they WILL start to suffer, does he truly understand that his eyesight, limbs and everything else are at risk? I think you should scare him. Do you have children?, that is sometimes a good incentive to look after yourself. You sound like a lovely lady but don't accept total responsibility for your 37 year old husband. As others have said maybe you can ensure he starts testing before and after meals for the first few weeks as there is no ignoring the numbers which can be quite frightening!

@Kayleigh1008
My mother used to think the same thing. Pills fix it all up. Metformin works mostly by moderating the release of stored glucose by the liver. It in no way can compensate for what one decides to put in their guts. It is a bit unfortunate because complications sneak up on you and they don't get noticed until they become a problem. In many cases that time is too late. A bit like saying that I'll give up smoking when I can't stop coughing.

Crocodile said:

@Kayleigh1008
My mother used to think the same thing. Pills fix it all up. Metformin works mostly by moderating the release of stored glucose by the liver. It in no way can compensate for what one decides to put in their guts. It is a bit unfortunate because complications sneak up on you and they don't get noticed until they become a problem. In many cases that time is too late. A bit like saying that I'll give up smoking when I can't stop coughing.

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First and foremost I congratulate you for taking step in the right direction by joining this Forum. If you follow pieces of advice offered by previous commentators the better.

Your husband is not the first person I have heard of with the same attitude. It is tempting to believe that they think the pills will manage it but there are thousands of us on this site and elsewhere that can tell you they won't. More likely he has not experienced any serious symptoms so he thinks that diabetes, somehow, doesn't apply to him.

There was another case where a woman was the diabetic and had trouble convincing her family of the seriousness of the problem. I suggested she find something like this a show them .....

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=d...1OTbAhVMBMAKHbK1DzgQ_AUICigB&biw=1243&bih=648

The first symptoms that they can't hide are the feet and the eyes. It is not easy to show pictures of someone who is now blind due to diabetes but there are plenty of pictures of people with foot trouble and there are vast numbers of people who have had limbs amputated as a result.

I don't suggest you frighten the poo out of him with these pictures but you may be able to be a bit subtle about it to see if you can get his attention.

I just Googled diabetic amputation and looked at the images. Best not to go there at this stage.