How do I help my fat child?

[NicoleC1971]

My lovely son is aged 12 and from the age of 7 has gone from normal to plump. He is currently about 150 cm tall and weights 52kg. He walks to school and does PE but not much else of a structured nature.
I am a bit of a health freak (working as a PT) so there is no juice, biscuits, cakes or processed carbs on offer in our house though he has sweets once a week. His 2 siblings are skinny but he has his father's chunky build which is fine except that he has a pretty fat belly and is very aware of it.
His father took him to the GP who I do trust but the advice given was wait and see how things change when he's gone through puberty. Previously he got referred to an NHS dietician but tha advice given was generic and of the eat less and move more variety (I think she assumed we were lying about the abscence of MacDonalds and doughnuts).
I am a little concerned that he will still be fat at 18 and have lost even more confidence in his body.
Would be interested to hear if anyone has been able to tackle this or got tests on hyperinsulaemia/gut michrobiome etc. etc. for a child? Or am I just being overly concerned?

 

[Guzzler]

I can understand your concern, we are parents and concern goes with the territory. I have three sons and although they are of similar height/weight as adults they each went through periods of podge (especially the middle one as a baby and as a pre teen).
I now have a granddaughter going through the same phase as a mid teen but she is the one that is causing me concern but I think that is because I am now aware of my status and I may be looking for a problem that just is not there.
I suggest that you keep up the good dietary regime you have set and be vigilant. As to excercise levels, if your lad is not really the sporty type then no amount of cajoling will get him to react well to structured gym, however, non regimented excercise might work. For example, Swim Fun Days such as those put on in sports centres are great and I call this hidden activity just like hidden learning when kids are younger. Hope this helps.

 

[lucylocket61]

It may well be puberty 'puppy fat'

It is a real thing. Has he done the 'growing like a weed' thing yet? if not, his body may well be laying down fat stores to fuel his growth, as outgrowing his strength in the sudden growth phase is also a real thing.

 

[archersuz]

My son was always on the plump size. About 12 years ago BBC aired a programme which predicted how people would look in 30 or so years time. One of the children was about my son's age, on the large size and needed to take action so he joined a marshall arts club. This struck a chord with my son and he asked about Tae Kwon do. He joined the local club, worked hard.lost weight and within 5 years was a black belt and a trained instructor.

He used to teach the kids and did a very good job of it too! He still has weight issues when he is stressed as he comfort eats, but after a few months he gets his head round it and loses the weight again. I know this isn't ideal but it's the way he is, and he is an adult now.....

So my advice would be to try to find an activity that interests your son. Don't force exercise on him - let him choose something.

 

[Rachox]

My son is now 22 and I worry he is too thin (at Uni self catering!). He went through a very round stage from about 12-15yr, then 16-18yr although he didn’t really shoot up, he’s still only around 5’7”, he thinned out rapidly.

 

[Circuspony]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08sqvpk

Did you ever see the Dr in the house series? He had a properly obese child on who was not eating badly at all. His inability to lose weight was related to poor gut bacteria I think from memory. He got the family eating a much wider range of foods to help. Struggling with a link but you might be able to Google.

 

[ickihun]

One of my sons are thin and other 'big'. Big one is into computers and other is into anything spiny and fast.

We are all different.

We have to work with what God gives us. Big son has a huge personality and very popular. He's a leader of men on PlayStation. He's a natural brainy child. Very sensitive too. His weight doesn't stop him skiing or rock-climbing and definitely not swimming or cycling.
Little son is very clingy and close to me but still very young.
They eat when their hungry.
Both have different genes. One auburn hair and brown eyes. Other is blonde hair and blue eyes.
Chalk and cheese.

I like my sisters am obese but I have a different blood group and I'm diabetic.

I work with what I've been given. If wasn't disabled I'd be doing an activity everyday, which I enjoy and see normal. My walking disability currently leaves me feeling abnormal.
I still work with what I've got. Always will.

Their personality makes a huge difference but pushing a child into severe activity and telling them they're fat can be very very damaging. Work with your child and help him/her excel in what they're good at but give them the tools to lose weight safely and confidence, throughout.

 

[EllieM]

Be very very careful about putting teenagers into weight loss programs.

They are particularly prone to eating disorders and eating disorders have the worst mortality rates of any mental disorder. At a hospital where I visited, a nurse told me that she had two girls with eating disorders that were triggered by going on elimination diets - she was of the opinion that no teenage girl should ever go on an elimination diet. I know an elimination diet is not the same as a weight loss diet but the similarities are worrying. And boys get eating disorders too....

Sorry, rant over. Eating disorders are bad news.....

 

[ickihun]

Sorry forgot to mention my bigger son was blood tested via hospital for diabetes etc. and his dna is used for leptin resistance research just by accident. @NicoleC1971. He was being tested for hormone disorders due to my various ones and a possible growth problem at the time.

He has been offered a dna kit to do next one. As he is still only just turned 11yrs old. Blood tests can be traumatic for kids.

 

[NicoleC1971]

It may well be puberty 'puppy fat'

It is a real thing. Has he done the 'growing like a weed' thing yet? if not, his body may well be laying down fat stores to fuel his growth, as outgrowing his strength in the sudden growth phase is also a real thing.

We are waiting for the Puberty Bus to arrive along with growth spurt to stretch him out a bit but he has been a chubster since age 7 but yes he's got that growth spurt to come. Thanks for the reassurance.

 

[NicoleC1971]

Be very very careful about putting teenagers into weight loss programs.

They are particularly prone to eating disorders and eating disorders have the worst mortality rates of any mental disorder. At a hospital where I visited, a nurse told me that she had two girls with eating disorders that were triggered by going on elimination diets - she was of the opinion that no teenage girl should ever go on an elimination diet. I know an elimination diet is not the same as a weight loss diet but the similarities are worrying. And boys get eating disorders too....

Sorry, rant over. Eating disorders are bad news.....

EllieM I totally agree. Had anorexia/bulimia as a type 1 which I feel was triggered by the religious counting of carbs and frequent weigh ins at a vulnerable age, So I am trying to emphasise all the non body good points. Its tricky when I am so aware of the diabetes thing (2 type 2s in the grandparents plus me). So we won't eliminate carbs and everyone in our family will be eating the same healthy stuff!

 

[NicoleC1971]

One of my sons are thin and other 'big'. Big one is into computers and other is into anything spiny and fast.

We are all different.

We have to work with what God gives us. Big son has a huge personality and very popular. He's a leader of men on PlayStation. He's a natural brainy child. Very sensitive too. His weight doesn't stop him skiing or rock-climbing and definitely not swimming or cycling.
Little son is very clingy and close to me but still very young.
They eat when their hungry.
Both have different genes. One auburn hair and brown eyes. Other is blonde hair and blue eyes.
Chalk and cheese.

I like my sisters am obese but I have a different blood group and I'm diabetic.

I work with what I've been given. If wasn't disabled I'd be doing an activity everyday, which I enjoy and see normal. My walking disability currently leaves me feeling abnormal.
I still work with what I've got. Always will.

Their personality makes a huge difference but pushing a child into severe activity and telling them they're fat can be very very damaging. Work with your child and help him/her excel in what they're good at but give them the tools to lose weight safely and confidence, throughout.

Thank you for your reply. Its funny how different our kids are and also how little we as parents can do to change anything about their fundamental natures even if we wanted to! Btw you mentioned your son had a dna analysis for leptin deficiency 'by accident'. Did you learn anything from that?

 

[PenguinMum]

Thank you for your reply. Its funny how different our kids are and also how little we as parents can do to change anything about their fundamental natures even if we wanted to! Btw you mentioned your son had a dna analysis for leptin deficiency 'by accident'. Did you learn anything from that?

Happy Mothers Day to you and all the forum mums. One of my boys was chubby and in primary school was known as “the Penguin” because he waddled but when he went to secondary and started socialising more he addressed the issue himself. A calm approach no matter how worried you are is essential. Oh and nice friends and no bullying are also essential.

 

[LouWilk059]

My son was "chubby" pre-puberty. lol, he nearly ate us out of house and home but at least the food was home made. Once puberty hit, he stretched out and slimmed down to normal. He's now in his forties and has always been normal weight. So for right now, don't worry too much if he's eating right. As long as he's happy & healthy.

 

[ringi]

A cooked high protein breakfast can be a good option, long with aiming for 5 different colours of veg a day. Otherwise, I can't think of anything else as you are already avoiding processed carbs.

 

[Brunneria]

Family dynamics are so diverse, and what works in your family almost definitely wouldn’t work in mine.
But... i read the original post and thread title with a bit of trepidation.

My concerns are that with your personal history, and career choice, and the fact that this has already become an obvious ‘issue’ in your house, and your husband has already taken your son to the doctors... this has already become an elephant that cannot be put back in the box.

As i said above, i have no idea what your family dynamics are, and i can safely say that there is no such thing as ‘normal’.
But I can speak from experience (fat child in a slim family, where my weight was seen as a problem, an issue, something that needed solving, an embarrassment and a failing that my parents took to reflect on themselves) when I say that anything that causes your son to feel like he has a problem will make that problem grow in his own mind - and may affect him for decades.

Here is a link to a PHC conference video with Joanne McKormick speaking. At one point she says
‘When I see a fat child, i do not see a child who eats too much. I see a child with insulin resistance.’

I cannot tell you what the solution is in your family, with your son’s unique personality and genetics. But I do know that teenage diet regimes and exercise are just as likely to mess with his head as they will shave a pound off his weight.

 

[NicoleC1971]

Thanks for your thoughts and the link which I will watch ! My child's father is obese and I am not a natural skinny so we are tying not to make it a thing that makes him feel less valued etc. The dynamics are that I do not want to call him fat but his dad is a little harsher because he knows how to difficult it can be to lose the fat. But as the link indicates I am thinking insulin resistance too. I am hoping that it is just puppy fat and will resolve itself naturally. I will never put him on a calorie restricted diet or make him (spend my professional life telling people that this is NOT the way to lose fat in the long term!).

 

[phdiabetic]

I just calculated his BMI which is 23.1, on the higher end of normal but definitely not "fat". Keep in mind that his body will change during puberty as well.

 

[Sueco4]

My lovely son is aged 12 and from the age of 7 has gone from normal to plump. He is currently about 150 cm tall and weights 52kg. He walks to school and does PE but not much else of a structured nature.
I am a bit of a health freak (working as a PT) so there is no juice, biscuits, cakes or processed carbs on offer in our house though he has sweets once a week. His 2 siblings are skinny but he has his father's chunky build which is fine except that he has a pretty fat belly and is very aware of it.
His father took him to the GP who I do trust but the advice given was wait and see how things change when he's gone through puberty. Previously he got referred to an NHS dietician but tha advice given was generic and of the eat less and move more variety (I think she assumed we were lying about the abscence of MacDonalds and doughnuts).
I am a little concerned that he will still be fat at 18 and have lost even more confidence in his body.
Would be interested to hear if anyone has been able to tackle this or got tests on hyperinsulaemia/gut michrobiome etc. etc. for a child? Or am I just being overly concerned?

I was a fat kid that was called names so I know what it is like. Since he is accumulating the fat in his belly, he could be insulin resistant. The only way to know for sure is to have a glucose tolerance type test done. A person can be insulin resistant for many years before finally developing diabetes. I suspect I was insulin resistant for most of my life but only developed diabetes 3 years ago. I control my diabetes (insulin resistance) by following a low carb high good fat diet. Best of luck to him.

 

[NicoleC1971]

I was a fat kid that was called names so I know what it is like. Since he is accumulating the fat in his belly, he could be insulin resistant. The only way to know for sure is to have a glucose tolerance type test done. A person can be insulin resistant for many years before finally developing diabetes. I suspect I was insulin resistant for most of my life but only developed diabetes 3 years ago. I control my diabetes (insulin resistance) by following a low carb high good fat diet. Best of luck to him.

Thank you ! I feel he is insulin resistant (the fat is belly fat) and he is in the 98th percentile for a boy of 12 according to the NHS website. My GP will not do anything until he is older so I guess I will keep the faith and carry on with our lower carb lifestyle whilst trying not to get ot angsty about it all!