1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Get the Diabetes Forum App for your phone - available on iOS and Android.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Guest, we'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the Diabetes Forum Survey 2019 »
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Diabetes Forum should not be used in an emergency and does not replace your healthcare professional relationship. Posts can be seen by the public.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Find support, ask questions and share your experiences. Join the community »

How Do You Deal?

Discussion in 'Newly Diagnosed' started by maitai, Aug 6, 2018.

  1. maitai

    maitai Type 2 · Member

    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Ever since my diagnosis a little over a week ago word has gotten around in my family. Everyone keeps giving suggestions on what to eat, how to exercise, how this could've been prevented etc etc

    And it's been extremely overwhelming. I've yet to process the diagnosis myself, but having everyone around me telling me how to do things and having them pity me is making accepting this extremely hard.

    I'm overcome by this feeling of hopelessness and the "why me?" thoughts have been cluttering my headspace.

    I'm sure a lot of you had this happen to you, how did you deal with everything? Because i'm at a loss here.
     
    • Hug Hug x 7
    • Like Like x 1
  2. carol43

    carol43 Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,105
    Likes Received:
    1,306
    Trophy Points:
    198
    Be strong. You will survive.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. OrsonKartt

    OrsonKartt Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    971
    Likes Received:
    4,634
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Hopefully someone else will come on board with an answer for you. As for me I only told my wife and I googled it all and saw the Newcastle diet and told her I was doing it . She was very supportive . ~

    It does take a while, a good while to get into the swing of things. You have to find out for yourself whats going to work for you. The information on this site is great. I took some time looking through it. It cant be done all at once but often and little by little I figured out what would work for me.....

    I wish you well. Take care and take your time in these things. 3 years on and I'm absolutely fine. I enjoy food more than I ever did, albeit different food and everyone around me can see why I did the things at the time they thought I was a bit "dramatic" to do.

    Best thoughts. .... and regarding all that you should have done this , you should have done that its total nonsense.....
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. ally1

    ally1 Type 2 · Expert

    Messages:
    5,303
    Likes Received:
    21,748
    Trophy Points:
    198
    My family Don, t understand even 4 years later
    The worst person is my sister who's eldest boy is type1, she keeps saying, I should now be as slim as my nephew. She also said to ask my gp to go on Insulin to lose even more weight.
     
    • Hug Hug x 8
  5. archersuz

    archersuz Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,215
    Likes Received:
    1,016
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Hi @maitai and welcome. I found it very difficult to come to terms with my diagnosis and kept it quiet at work and avoided my friends for as long as I could. I know exactly where you are coming from! Unwelcome advice is very difficult! However, try to turn this round, and ask your family to support you by eating low carb (if that's what you are doing), and going for walks with you (if that's your chosen exercise). The book by David Cavan is brilliant at explaining things and there is even a section for you to copy and give to family and friends which explains what you are doing and how they can support you. I'm not sure I can copy it into this thread as it is probably copyright..... but the book is
    https://www.diabetes.co.uk/shop/rev...-control-of-type-2-diabetes-by-dr-david-cavan
    Please try to get your family to help and support - I'm sure they mean well and are actually finding things as scary and overwhelming as you are.
    If you need any help, advice support etc, feel free to ask - we will be happy to help. Suz xx
     
    • Like Like x 3
  6. Guzzler

    Guzzler Type 2 · Master

    Messages:
    10,610
    Likes Received:
    6,982
    Trophy Points:
    278
    Hi there. Give yourself time. You are going to hear some weird and wacky stuff in real life, people are often ignorant of facts but as they say in Footy 'Everyone's a Referee'. Sometimes we need the support of those who understand this condition because they have it, this is where this forum comes in. You could nod, smile, agree then you could read, read and test because you are the one that is dealing with this condition. Share what you learn with your partner first then you can tackle other people if you so wish.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Hug Hug x 1
  7. Terrytiddy

    Terrytiddy Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    835
    Likes Received:
    2,630
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Hi @maitai you will find loads of "Experts" out there offering their advice but most don't have a clue. All of us on here have been where you are and know what its like. You have come to the right place for help, advice and support from those that have been where you are.:)
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  8. rhubarb73

    rhubarb73 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    710
    Likes Received:
    2,853
    Trophy Points:
    178
    Thank them. They mean well and care about you.
    Then tell them that there is a wonderful community of diabetics successfully managing their condition so you’ve reached out to them to get advice on what really works in practice- tell them that advice is coming from real recent experience. Tell them how much it is helping you. Finally tell them that what you really need from them is support and encouragement, to be asked how you are, cheered on for doing well and trusted to choose the right advice to follow.
    Remember to smile.
    Good luck with it
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Hug Hug x 1
  9. Freema

    Freema Type 2 · Expert

    Messages:
    7,164
    Likes Received:
    16,929
    Trophy Points:
    178
    have a little booklet in which you write down all the positive kinds of snacks you can eat , and all the very fine foods and recipes you like that you can eat of low carb foods and treats..
    If you can´t think of many right now then know that we all started like that... but slowly we learn to cope and find more and more delicious stuff we can look forward to enjoy..
    if you learn to eat the low carb higher fat eating style you´ll learn how to get really normal levels of blood glucose almost every day...

    stay here with us, and learn from others , and do get a meter and measure your blood glucose each morning and also find out how high each kind of food spikes your blood glucose ..

    here a link to a lot of great low carb foods
    https://www.dietdoctor.com/low-carb/recipes
     
    • Hug Hug x 1
  10. miahara

    miahara Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    803
    Likes Received:
    749
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Hi @maitai and welcome to our rather exclusive anf friendly club!
    An initial diagnosis is usually a bit of a bolt from the blue. I felt perfectly well and wasn't overweight and when I got confirmation of T2D I was very shocked and depressed. I was very, very fortunate in that the young GP who diagnosed me suggested I get onto the DCUK website as it would provided lots of helpful info and support, and she was right too!
    Getting to grips with the condition does involve a pretty steep learning curve as there's a lot to take at first, but it isn't too hard understanding the basics. Dr David Cavan's Control of Type 2 Diabetes has already been mentioned, I've not read it but if its is half as informative as his 'Reverse Your Diabetes' which I have read it would be well worth a read. As your journey progresses you'll find a wealth of info about D here and elsewhere on the www and some is very good, supportive and reassuring. Much of it busts the myths about D its causes and treatments.
    The general public on the whole don't have a clue about causes or treatments and sadly this also applies to SOME GPs, diabetes nurses and dieticians though it does seem that the situation is improving, albeit slowly.
    You will be given all sorts of 'helpful' and well meaning advice from family and friends proffered in ignorance but once you develop your own well supported knowledge you'll be able to stand your ground backed by scientific FACT.
    Finally, don't panic, don't worry. Managing D isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. There are pluses to be had - my T2D LCHF diet has opened up a vast range of foods and recipes that I'd never have encountered otherwise and my diet in general is far healthier than ever.
    I'll tag @daisy1 and soon she'll pop up with a stack of useful info about D and how it may be managed.

    Best of luck. There's several thousand folk here behind you.
    Dave
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
    • Hug Hug x 1
  11. daisy1

    daisy1 Type 2 · Legend
    Retired Moderator

    Messages:
    26,459
    Likes Received:
    4,871
    Trophy Points:
    248
    @maitai

    Hello Maitai and welcome to the Forum :) Here is the Basic Information we give to new members and I hope you will find it useful. Ask as many questions as you want and someone will help.

    BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEWLY DIAGNOSED DIABETICS

    Diabetes is the general term to describe people who have blood that is sweeter than normal. A number of different types of diabetes exist.

    A diagnosis of diabetes tends to be a big shock for most of us. It’s far from the end of the world though and on this forum you'll find well over 235,000 people who are demonstrating this.

    On the forum we have found that with the number of new people being diagnosed with diabetes each day, sometimes the NHS is not being able to give all the advice it would perhaps like to deliver - particularly with regards to people with type 2 diabetes.

    The role of carbohydrate

    Carbohydrates are a factor in diabetes because they ultimately break down into sugar (glucose) within our blood. We then need enough insulin to either convert the blood sugar into energy for our body, or to store the blood sugar as body fat.

    If the amount of carbohydrate we take in is more than our body’s own (or injected) insulin can cope with, then our blood sugar will rise.

    The bad news

    Research indicates that raised blood sugar levels over a period of years can lead to organ damage, commonly referred to as diabetic complications.

    The good news

    People on the forum here have shown that there is plenty of opportunity to keep blood sugar levels from going too high. It’s a daily task but it’s within our reach and it’s well worth the effort.

    Controlling your carbs

    The info below is primarily aimed at people with type 2 diabetes, however, it may also be of benefit for other types of diabetes as well.

    There are two approaches to controlling your carbs:
    • Reduce your carbohydrate intake
    • Choose ‘better’ carbohydrates
    Reduce your carbohydrates

    A large number of people on this forum have chosen to reduce the amount of carbohydrates they eat as they have found this to be an effective way of improving (lowering) their blood sugar levels.

    The carbohydrates which tend to have the most pronounced effect on blood sugar levels tend to be starchy carbohydrates such as rice, pasta, bread, potatoes and similar root vegetables, flour based products (pastry, cakes, biscuits, battered food etc) and certain fruits.

    Choosing better carbohydrates

    The low glycaemic index diet is often favoured by healthcare professionals but some people with diabetes find that low GI does not help their blood sugar enough and may wish to cut out these foods altogether.

    Read more on carbohydrates and diabetes.

    Over 145,000 people have taken part in the Low Carb Program - a 10 week structured education course that is helping people lose weight and reduce medication dependency by explaining the science behind carbs, insulin and GI.

    Eating what works for you

    Different people respond differently to different types of food. What works for one person may not work so well for another. The best way to see which foods are working for you is to test your blood sugar with a glucose meter.

    To be able to see what effect a particular type of food or meal has on your blood sugar is to do a test before the meal and then test after the meal. A test 2 hours after the meal gives a good idea of how your body has reacted to the meal.

    The blood sugar ranges recommended by NICE are as follows:

    Blood glucose ranges for type 2 diabetes
    • Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
    • 2 hours after meals: under 8.5 mmol/l
    Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (adults)
    • Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
    • 2 hours after meals: under 9 mmol/l
    Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (children)
    • Before meals: 4 to 8 mmol/l
    • 2 hours after meals: under 10 mmol/l
    However, those that are able to, may wish to keep blood sugar levels below the NICE after meal targets.

    Access to blood glucose test strips

    The NICE guidelines suggest that people newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes should be offered:
    • structured education to every person and/or their carer at and around the time of diagnosis, with annual reinforcement and review
    • self-monitoring of plasma glucose to a person newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes only as an integral part of his or her self-management education

    Therefore both structured education and self-monitoring of blood glucose should be offered to people with type 2 diabetes. Read more on getting access to blood glucose testing supplies.

    You may also be interested to read questions to ask at a diabetic clinic.

    Note: This post has been edited from Sue/Ken's post to include up to date information.
    Take part in Diabetes.co.uk digital education programs and improve your understanding. Most of these are free.

    • Low Carb Program - it's made front-page news of the New Scientist and The Times. Developed with 20,000 people with type 2 diabetes; 96% of people who take part recommend it... find out why

    • Hypo Program - improve your understanding of hypos. There's a version for people with diabetes, parents/guardians of children with type 1, children with type 1 diabetes, teachers and HCPs.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. porl69

    porl69 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,899
    Likes Received:
    3,471
    Trophy Points:
    198
    I have been Type 1 for 46 years and, still, my family don't really understand it. My brother hasn't got a clue and he has a type 1 son! Everyone kniows I am type 1, basically so they know what to do when/if I start to act weird, which can be a regular occurrence AND can be hard to spot as everyone thinks I am a bit "mad" anyway lol
    I still go thru the "why me" phase every now and again. BUT the quicker you can get your head around it the better off you will be as in finding what diet etc. will be best for your individual needs. I do tend to speak my mind when people suggest things I should/should not be doing and tell them were to get off ;) but hey that's just me. Good luck with getting to grips with this difficult BUT very manageable condition

    You would have thought the 1 person to understand would be your sister with a T1D son
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  13. JoKalsbeek

    JoKalsbeek Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,660
    Likes Received:
    2,240
    Trophy Points:
    178
    How this could have been prevented? Not, in all likelyhood. Why you? Not because of anything you did. It's mostly genetic predisposition that gets us here. That, and in the past 50 years or so we've been constantly told eating fat makes us obese and/or T2's, which it doesn't, as it turns out... Bit late, half the world is obese and there's a diabetes epidemic now! Carbs are the main culprit, and as a T2, and before that, someone who was predispositioned to become one, eating like everyone else, according to the EatWell plate and such, there was just little chance of getting out from under this. Really. So should you be engaged in the blame game, you can stop right now: this was going to happen sooner or later. But now it has happened, and you'll deal with it as we all have: one day at a time.

    And it isn't hopeless. You're not destined to lose your eyesight, kidneyfunction and legs. A lot of people here manage their T2 through diet: low carb/high fat works for most of us, and some, like me, take it a step further and go Keto with intermittent fasting (Less than 20 grams of carbs a day, skipping the occasional breakfast and/or lunch). For me, my numbers are now those of a healthy, non-diabetic person, without diabetic complications and the eternal inflamed feet I used to have. I'm still a T2 though: if I eat something high in carbs, my bloodsugars will rise. But I'm quite content with the food I do eat, and I don't really feel like I'm missing out. Key is to take time to find out what works for you: loads of people can advise you, but what works for them might not work for you! As we're all different, with different levels of insulin production and insulin resistance, it's a highly personal journey. Best thing to do is buy yourself a meter, and, though it is quite expensive at the start as you find out what food works for you and what doesn't, check bloods before eating and 2 hours after first bite. If you go up more than 2 mmol/l, the meal was too carby and you couldn't process it. The bulk of us can't eat porridge, bread, cereal, potatoes, fruits (save for berries, in moderation), rice, pasta and corn without getting a spike in our bloodsugars. Of course there is medication you can try, like metformin and gliclazide, if you're more comfortable with that, but for me, seeing I'm very susseptable to side effects, they were too horrid and the effect too small. So diet-only worked for me. (I have scrambled eggs with bacon, cheese and mushrooms, salads with tuna, olives and capers, meat or fish with broccoli or cauliflower rice with bacon and cheese... I snack on sausages and nuts. I can even still go to McDonalds or Burger King: you can order burgers without the bun and voila, low carb! If you're interested in cooking elaborate and not so elaborate meals and baking, check dietdoctor.com for ideas).

    On top of that I studied my behind off when first diagnosed, and I haven't really stopped yet... Knowledge is power, and with some empowerment comes hope. Not just knowing what your bloodsugars do, but also why they do it and how, and how you can control it. (Dr. Jason Fung's books could help.) I wrote little guides for my direct familymembers because we dine together every now and again, and I kept having nightmares about being diabetic: I needed to know THEY knew what to do if something went wrong. And not to be offended if I didn't eat certain things what were on offer. More than that, I needed them to know what I was doing with my diet and medical choices, because I needed their support in what I was doing. To most people a low carb/high fat or keto diet seems insane because for generations we've been taught it was unhealthy to skip carbs or even entire meals... It took some convincing and showing my testresults to get some people on board. But it worked out in the end, though it took some doing. My testresults and health prove me right to them every day. ;)

    Besides, if people see you take control of this thing, one way or another, I do believe the pity'll turn to admiration. You can do this, however which way you choose to tackle this. Honest.
    Good luck!
     
    • Like Like x 5
    • Winner Winner x 2
  14. Lord Midas

    Lord Midas Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    148
    Likes Received:
    161
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Welcome, @maitai
    Sorry to hear of your diagnosis, and what seems like a barrage of advice from family and friends. You know they mean well, of course, but it can be a bit "alright already, sheesh" ;)

    One thing you will discover as you live with diabetes and if you do indeed investigate it yourself, is just how much you will learn about how your body works. Before I was diagnosed I was an eat-anything machine. I just loved the snacks. But as you learn how the human body functions, especially with regards to insulin, carbs (glucose), fat and protein, you will be astounded at amazing things it can do. And just what it does with all this food we stuff into it.

    I, like many here, have done the same and discovered that by simply changing what we eat we can actually reduce (or even completely remove) the need for medication! I'm Type 1 so, unfortunately, cannot remove the need for insulin entirely. But by reducing, or in my case literally eliminating the intake of carbs, I have dramatically reduced my insulin intake.

    One last thing, and I don't want to put the fear of god into you or anything, but I would take the Food Pyramid (that you see in GP offices) and flip it. The last thing a diabetic needs is more bread, spuds, pasta and grains.

    All the best :hungry:
     
    • Winner Winner x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  15. briped

    briped Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    952
    Likes Received:
    730
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Or even do away with the base part, and flip the rest. I blame the food pyramid for my obesity and T2, as when younger I believed that if I became fatter and fatter, it must be because I did it wrong and ate too little from the base (carbs), and thus ate more from it. I took the food pyramid as gospell truth.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  16. Lord Midas

    Lord Midas Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    148
    Likes Received:
    161
    Trophy Points:
    83
    You're absolutely right
     
  • Meet the Community

    Find support, connect with others, ask questions and share your experiences with people with diabetes, their carers and family.

    Did you know: 7 out of 10 people improve their understanding of diabetes within 6 months of being a Diabetes Forum member. Get the Diabetes Forum App and stay connected on iOS and Android

    Grab the app!
  • Tweet with us

  • Like us on Facebook