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Husband - Newly Daignosed

Discussion in 'Newly Diagnosed' started by Purple Sarah, Jun 18, 2019.

  1. Purple Sarah

    Purple Sarah Family member · Member

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    Hi,

    Husband newly diagnosed and hasn't got dietitian appointment until 15th August.
    He is flitting between low carb and 'screw it I don't know what i'm doing so I'll eat anything I want'. Also a bit low.
    Any advice for keeping his morale up a bit and any experiences you had with your husbands, wives, partners that you wished did or didn't happen?
    Just want to be more supportive.

    Sarah
    x
     
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  2. Deleted Account

    Deleted Account · Guest

    Welcome @Purple Sarah
    Can you tell us a bit more about your husband's condition?
    What type of diabetes does he have?
    Is it being treated with any medication?

    This will make it easier to tailor the advice as, for example, type 1 and type 2 diabetes are very different and treated differently.
     
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  3. Resurgam

    Resurgam Type 2 (in remission!) · Expert

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    I am assuming type two, and the usual tablets, if any, as it isn't usual for type ones to go low carb at diagnosis.
    I'm the diabetic, and I went low carb from the moment I was diagnosed - had it beaten in six months, but was not in the diabetic range after 80 days.
    I can only recommend the low carb way of eating - and it isn't very complicated. Eating chicken, beef, pork, even fish isn't all that much of a hardship, just avoid the high starch and sugary foods, cauliflower rather than pastry or potatoes, having mushrooms and sweet peppers, maybe courgette with eggs for breakfast rather than toast or cereal. Difficult to be dismal , but if he manages to hang onto a bit of gloom,, coffee with cream will probably do the trick.
     
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  4. bulkbiker

    bulkbiker Type 2 · Oracle

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    Steak? Always works for me...
     
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  5. JoKalsbeek

    JoKalsbeek Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    Be there. I'm a T2 and my husband was, at that time, in a position to take a LOT of time off: He went to every single appointment with me. Which I know isn't possible for everyone, but whenever you can, go along, or keep updated as much as possible through WhatsApp or something. I read the entire internet and quite a few books (Top tips: Dr. Jason Fung's the Diabetes Code and dietdoctor.com, besides this forum's website), and because Kornelis is dyslectic and doesn't read at my admittedly insane pace, at dinner time I'd tell him everything I'd learned that day, going over my notes and whatnot. No matter how nuts it sounded (Eat fat to lose weight? What? ;)). He held me when I cried, which was often, because I thought I was going to die sometime soon (At the time they also thought my fatty liver was actually a liver riddled with tumors, so it was a stressful time, though thankfully, a false alarm). He didn't moan about the cost of books, testsstrips, the change in groceries. When I deviated from what my dieticians told me, he backed me up, and let me follow the path my meter told me was working for me. In the end, he got his wife back. I went from being barely able to walk, and having him cut my meat because my muscles just were so fatigued I couldn't get a knife through a sausage, to going out with him every weekend to do lengthy city walks, attend festivals and whatnot. So it is worth it. It also helps if your partner knows where you're at diet wise, what you're changing and why. When we're out and something goes wrong, like miscalculating just how much sugar is in chinese tomato soup (a LOT! Oops!), or getting served his coke instead of my sugarfree one, he'll walk around with me until my sugars drop again. It's the big stuff AND the small stuff. Your husband's not the only one with diabetes, you have to live with it too. And it's easier to do it if you're not just supporting him, and you get leaned on all the time, but if it's a bit of a partnership. I had quite a few conditions before this happened, and T2 seemed just another box to tick. So when Kornelis saw me freak out about it, he got scared too: I'm not easily daunted by medical stuff. And now I was spiralling deeper into the depression I had just slightly started crawling out of. So big thing: TALK. Communication is so important, not just for him, but for you too.

    Anyway... Your husband's "sod it"(I don't know if sod is considered cussing, if it is, sorry mods!), is a normal part of this part of the journey. He's going through all stages of grief, that one being the part where he just gets angry and contrary. That's okay. It's a marathon, not a sprint, and he's got time to figure it out and work through the emotional blow he's been dealt. It'll help if you study up with him, it'll help you both if you talk. Maybe this quick-start guide'll be of assistance too: https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/blog-entry/the-nutritional-thingy.2330/

    And also important: He's going to be fine. It's an adjustment, yes... But he'll feel better for it in the end. Physically and mentally.
    Hugs to you both,
    Jo
     
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  6. Deleted Account

    Deleted Account · Guest

    I am not convinced that it is a fair assumption.
    As 90 to 95% of people with diabetes have type 2 and this ratio is probably reflected by forum members, someone new to diabetes would see the low carb advice regardless of their type. I have seen this with some people newly diagnosed with type 1.
    Hence, my questions for clarification rather than assumption.

    Edited to add - I was given no dietary advice when first diagnosed with type 1. I saw a dietician after 6 weeks.
     
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  7. Purple Sarah

    Purple Sarah Family member · Member

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    Sorry, he's type 2 and been put on Metaformin.
     
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  8. bulkbiker

    bulkbiker Type 2 · Oracle

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    Is he having toilet trouble?
     
  9. Purple Sarah

    Purple Sarah Family member · Member

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    That's a very honest response. Thank you very much Jo. I will certainly take on your advice.
    Hugs for you also, well done for working it all out xx
     
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  10. Purple Sarah

    Purple Sarah Family member · Member

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    always had looser bowels than me. Throws up if he eats crisps post 9pm... if that helps
     
  11. bulkbiker

    bulkbiker Type 2 · Oracle

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    Yeah.. metformin and carbs aren't a great combo .. I reacted very badly to metformin so went ultra low carb so I could avoid taking the pesky pills.. seems to work well for me.
     
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  12. Purple Sarah

    Purple Sarah Family member · Member

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