I wish I was pregnant..

[Jaylee]

We might have to keep quiet on the "research" we use in case they want a split and we might need to go to a country with less law around medical procedures as I'm sure a bronze 100m swimming badge is not enough medical qualifications needed in this country. I'm sure if we need extra help there will be plenty of advisors on FB we could turn too. As @Jaylee has done more posts than either of us, he should decide £££ split.

Do they still do "child allowance"? That's @mist sorted...!

 

[Shar67]

Well, I would imagine some sort of drugs would need to be used so the guy doesn't "reject" the baby while grows full term..?
Then there is the actual "birthing" process..? A certain scene from Alien comes to mind...

You can buy drug things off t'internet, @mist might want to think about the actual birth, we could stream it online for a fee.
I don't know how no one else is doing this, there is money to be made especially child allowance, beer money sorted.

 

[debrasue]

@mist, glad it has brought a smile, keep it up your going to need it when biology set arrives from Amazon, @Jaylee do you think we should watch some YouTube videos on how to go about doing this.

I have a nurse's outfit somewhere and I can bring my granddaughter's toy medical set - it's got a stethoscope and everything! Can I help?

 

[debrasue]

Well, I would imagine some sort of drugs would need to be used so the guy doesn't "reject" the baby while grows full term..?
Then there is the actual "birthing" process..? A certain scene from Alien comes to mind...

Gin. Large quantities of gin will prevent him from rejecting the baby. In fact, give him enough gin and he will love everybody! And then cry. (Well, that's how it works for me, anyway.)

 

[Shar67]

I have a nurse's outfit somewhere and I can bring my granddaughter's toy medical set - it's got a stethoscope and everything! Can I help?

Well that now makes you head surgeon, we're well on our way to getting this off the ground

 

[Shar67]

Medical team nearly sorted, is there anyone else who thinks they will be able to assist

 

[debrasue]

Medical team nearly sorted, is there anyone else who thinks they will be able to assist

Well, I don't want to appear pushy, already being Head Surgeon and all, but my grandson has a Swiss army knife... I don't think he'd warrant an active role, as he's only 3 and it's a toy knife, but I'm sure he'd be prepared to loan it to us in exchange for an observational position (or a packet of Jaffa cakes).

 

[Jaylee]

Medical team nearly sorted, is there anyone else who thinks they will be able to assist

This is coming together nicely! We can use my well equipped garage.. Plenty of space once my wife's car is out.
I've got an "inspection pit" & everything!

 

[debrasue]

Well that now makes you head surgeon, we're well on our way to getting this off the ground

Yay!! Can I have the stethoscope, then?

 

[debrasue]

This is coming together nicely! We can use my well equipped garage.. Plenty of space once my wife's car is out.
I've got an "inspection pit" & everything!

Do you have a bicycle pump? I think we could prepare a nice, comfy uterus for the fetus with that. And we wouldn't need to bring any surgical implements into play at that stage, so I don't imagine @mist would have too many objections...

 

[Jaylee]

Do you have a bicycle pump? I think we could prepare a nice, comfy uterus for the fetus with that. And we wouldn't need to bring any surgical implements into play at that stage, so I don't imagine @mist would have too many objections...

I do have an electrical pump that runs off the lighter socket in my van.. What are you thinking? About 26/28psi?


.... Hark at me! I sound like a "pro" already.

 

[debrasue]

I do have an electrical pump that runs off the lighter socket in my van.. What are you thinking? About 26/28psi?


.... Hark at me! I sound like a "pro" already.

Well, maybe we should start with 20psi and see how it goes... We don't know how flexible he's going to be at this stage, and we wouldn't want to pop him!
What do you mean, anyway - you "sound like a pro"??? I thought you were the pro!! ****! who's running this operation?

 

[debrasue]

Has our patient done a bunk?
@mist has gone very quiet...

 

[Jaylee]

Well, maybe we should start with 20psi and see how it goes... We don't know how flexible he's going to be at this stage, and we wouldn't want to pop him!
What do you mean, anyway - you "sound like a pro"??? I thought you were the pro!! ****! who's running this operation?

The one with the real stethoscope.. I normally use a funnel attached to a pipe for locating any strange noises in the engine bay? Worn bearings on jockey wheels. Steels from belts or tentioners? That sort of thing..
My van runs smooth. Got a reasonable payload in the back.
So we can use it to run the patient to a real hospital should anything go wrong??
If anyone can donate a blue badge we could park closer..?

...... But not too close!

We could wear masks to conceal our identity? Surgeons do it all the time...

 

[mist]

The commitment and dedication I am seeing is truly humbling. If only there was a way to obtain some alien technology, it would make everything so much easier.

Anyone have any contacts in high up places?

 

[debrasue]

The one with the real stethoscope.. I normally use a funnel attached to a pipe for locating any strange noises in the engine bay? Worn bearings on jockey wheels. Steels from belts or tentioners? That sort of thing..
My van runs smooth. Got a reasonable payload in the back.
So we can use it to run the patient to a real hospital should anything go wrong??
If anyone can donate a blue badge we could park closer..?

...... But not too close!

We could wear masks to conceal our identity? Surgeons do it all the time...

I like your thinking! I have some masks too - got them to try and avoid getting the flu for the fourth time in January, but I'm sure they'll do the trick. AND I have a Blue Badge.
My God - if I had known it was all this easy I would have done it this way myself all those years ago!

 

[debrasue]

The commitment and dedication I am seeing is truly humbling. If only there was a way to obtain some alien technology, it would make everything so much easier.

Anyone have any contacts in high up places?

My brother is 6' 3", which has always seemed pretty high up to me. But unfortunately he's also useless.

 

[Jaylee]

The commitment and dedication I am seeing is truly humbling. If only there was a way to obtain some alien technology, it would make everything so much easier.

Anyone have any contacts in high up places?

I got a mate who claimed to make "crop circles"..

I'm sure he could loan us a plank & a length of string?!!

 

[debrasue]

I got a mate who claimed to make "crop circles"..

I'm sure he could loan us a plank & a length of string?!!

What are we going to do with that?
And where's our Head of Nursing gone, @Shar67 ?

 

[Jaylee]

What are we going to do with that?

I don't think the human race has evolved the capacity to comprehend what aliens do in a Wiltshire corn field at midnight...
We are all but children by comparison..

All I know is.
If I had some pram wheels? I could take the plank & string, then knock up a "go cart"..?!