It’s all so new to me...

Hello Emma and welcome to the forum. Tagging @daisy1 for the info pack offered to all newcomers.

It is very hard to convey feelings in a text box but please accept my deepest condolences on your and your husband's loss. Devastating doesnt even come close to being the right word.


May I ask if you have heard of this site's Low Carb Programme? The programme has helped thousands of people improve their health and their prognoses. A diet I have followed since diagnosis is LCHF (Low Carb High (healthy) Fats) and it has been tremendous for me. I halved my HbA1c and brought all other blood markers back to normal in just four months. I lost weight among other things, too. You could do worse than considering a LCHF lifestyle.

Please have a wander around the forum and ask as many questions as you like.

I'm so sorry you lost your baby.

merrymunky said:

When we lost our boy everyone told me not to blame myself but since diagnosis I can’t help that feel I am to blame after all. I wasn’t aware I had a condition. I didn’t help myself too much before hand other than losing a couple of stone. I was still obese though. I can’t forgive myself if this condition killed my only baby after so long trying.

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I hope you are aware that the problems your boy had aren't usually associated with high blood sugars? It looks more like stupid and very sad bad luck and your body recognizing there was too much wrong with his body to live.

merrymunky said:

I’ve read around on google a little and I see people suggest a low carb diet which sounds good. I just worry as they form such a massive part of my vegetarian diet. I gave up white pasta in favour of red lentil pasta a year ago. I substitute rice with butternut squash spaghetti sometimes etc so I know there are adaptations I can make along the way.

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Here's a link to the vegetarian sub forum, it may be of help for you: https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/category/vegetarian-diet-forum.71/

Big, big hug for you and your husband.

merrymunky said:

Thank you so much for the reply and your best wishes. You’re totally correct, devastating isn’t even close enough. A word to describe how we have been feeling. It’s not just the physical loss. It’s the loss of everything we worked for, everything our boy could have been, memories of that dreaded moment we learned he had died, having to tell everyone the bad news after they had been so happy for us...memories of every event of the birth and walking out empty handed after spending so much time with him after he was delivered. How my legs carried me out of the unit I will never know. This diagnosis seems like the final kick in the teeth to be honest.

I’ve read around on google a little and I see people suggest a low carb diet which sounds good. I just worry as they form such a massive part of my vegetarian diet. I gave up white pasta in favour of red lentil pasta a year ago. I substitute rice with butternut squash spaghetti sometimes etc so I know there are adaptations I can make along the way.

I think I will be spending some time on the forum asking questions and getting advice while I sort this all out.

Thanks again for the response. I appreciate it.

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Have a look at the Vegetarian section of the forum, it is under the Food and Nutrition fora (as far as I remember) there are vegetarians who follow a lower carb way of eating. And healthy fats for a vegetarian are olive oil and coconut oil as well as avocado as I'm sure you are aware. Good luck.

Ah, @Antje77 to the rescue with a link, thanks Antje.

@merrymunky - so sorry to hear your story. I am the only diabetic in my genetic family, but we as a family have a history of stillbirth, so it might not be the diabetes that caused any of your baby’s issues.
You can lower your blood sugars fairly quickly to try again, and regulating levels may help improve your cycles. Tell your medical team that you want to try to conceive again and ask for support to do so.

@merrymunky

i have replied in your other thread, i think many say it well, but @Guzzler expressed it best.

I can offer nothing on that front.

But i can say, if your diabetic, i do NOT think, i know ..you can not blame yourself for what happened.
many say god moves in mysterious ways, and that may be tue.

However if your predisposed to a condition, that as i now know, WILL lay fats about your body,
while giving the semblance that all is well, as it struggles to cope, no matter how well you eat
(see those who are TOFI..thin on the outside, fat on the inside..
they are the skinny ones who also have diabetes.)

and you, like so many have no clue..what can you do about it, in all honesty.

It's natural to wail and gnash your teeth at the world and blame someone, something.anything
however in your heart of hearts and given time....you will come to see, your eating/weight
was not the reason and it was never within your powers to help avoid what happened.

Blaming yourself is just punishing yourself for something that was NOT your fault.
The outcome from the hospital will make that clear

Many families go through this with any death, and like any loss, the grieving process probably requires we do this to ourselves,
but in the end it will serve no real purpose, except to help us get to where you need to be.

And that place for you, While perhaps not whole again, IS certainly better and ready to take the next step forward for you and your husband and your future.

that may seem hard to envisage right now..., however you are not alone.
the links are out there on the web for those who can better advise you, those who have been where you are and can share the grief, hurt & pain with you.

and who can also show you it is possible, that life, no matter how cruel a blow we receive, does eventually carry on,
and sometimes with a greater purpose.

I hope you have or get the chance to meet such groups

I like the name you chose and the meaning.
i hope he's lighting the way for his brother/sister to share in your life


Much love..

Hello merrymunky what a beautiful name for your little boy. You’re going through a very sad time with grief over your boy and your health. Often there’s a loss of dreams and plans for the future which now seem in turmoil. Keep connecting to the forum and finding out as much information as you can. Everyone is always helpful and supportive and it will be a huge benefit for you and your husband. Grief takes its time so be gentle with yourself and your body xx

merrymunky said:

Hi everyone,

I’m Emma. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes last Friday. In some ways it wasn’t surprising but it was a shock nonetheless.

To cut a long story short:
I’m 38 and overweight...well obese, lets be honest. My husband and I faced fertility issues for the last ten years due to my weight. I’ve had glucose tests in the past but they have been fine. After ten years trying we finally conceived a baby naturally in August last year. All seemed to be going well. I would have been having my gestational diabetes screening in the next week or so which would have flagged up an issue. However, in November we devastatingly lost our baby boy at 16 weeks gestation. All scans etc previously had been good. There were a couple of obvious deformities when he was born via induced labour a couple of days later. His left hand was missing a thumb and the bones were fused in the wrist. He also had a hole in his abdomen and his bowel was poking through. It has been the worst two months of my life. Utterly devastating. I haven’t been able to return to my job as a teacher in a special school yet as I am a mess.

At the time we were induced to deliver our boy, it was noticed that my blood sugar was high. Fast forward to repeat hba1c test two weeks ago and a call from the GP to request a face to face meeting. I expected her to say they wanted to investigate further with the lasting glucose test but she gave me the diabetic diagnosis there and then and has put me straight onto metformin. I’m still coming to terms with it all and am terrified to eat anything.

I am a life long vegetarian (and fussy). I also do slimming world which works a treat for me. The thing is, so much of my diet on slimming world is made up of potatoes, rice, pasta etc. I know that carbs play a big part in diabetes management and if I cut it out of my diet too much I am going to struggle for meals. I am attending the diabetic education classes starting next week and my slimming world leader is going to give me information on how to follow the plan as a diabetic.

It is all very overwhelming right now. We want to try again for a baby as soon as we can due to my age and very irregular cycles. I don’t have years left, but I know that the Diabetes must be under control to give me the best chances of successful pregnancy.

When we lost our boy everyone told me not to blame myself but since diagnosis I can’t help that feel I am to blame after all. I wasn’t aware I had a condition. I didn’t help myself too much before hand other than losing a couple of stone. I was still obese though. I can’t forgive myself if this condition killed my only baby after so long trying.

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I just wanted to add... This isn't on you. Diabetes Type 2 is usually genetic (when not brought on by medication), and you pile weight on because you have a problem processing carbs. You didn't know that, probably your dietician or gp didn't know it, so... How were you supposed to do anything about it? If you don't know the root cause, a metabolic condition, there's little you can do. I tried to lose weight when I was obese. Was told to up the carbs, go low fat... And in a couple of months I was morbidly obese. Much worse off than I was before that horrid advice! Dietician just shrugged and told me I was just one of those people who couldn't lose weight, and to just accept it. I was prediabetic then. If someone'd bothered to tell me I would've found out about low carbing a lot sooner. I never would've become a T2 to begin with.

You can't do anything if you don't know what's going on. Now you do. Now you can change things. And as for emotional eating, I do it too, but I just make sure I have low carb options, like cheese and olives, extra dark chocolate, couple of berries with cream... (I shall refrain from mentioning the non-vegetarian ones).

My heart breaks for you, as losing a child goes beyond grief... But please, don't add blame to your burden. It wasn't your fault. It never was, never will be.

Hugs,
Jo

merrymunky said:

Hi everyone,

I’m Emma. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes last Friday. In some ways it wasn’t surprising but it was a shock nonetheless.

To cut a long story short:
I’m 38 and overweight...well obese, lets be honest. My husband and I faced fertility issues for the last ten years due to my weight. I’ve had glucose tests in the past but they have been fine. After ten years trying we finally conceived a baby naturally in August last year. All seemed to be going well. I would have been having my gestational diabetes screening in the next week or so which would have flagged up an issue. However, in November we devastatingly lost our baby boy at 16 weeks gestation. All scans etc previously had been good. There were a couple of obvious deformities when he was born via induced labour a couple of days later. His left hand was missing a thumb and the bones were fused in the wrist. He also had a hole in his abdomen and his bowel was poking through. It has been the worst two months of my life. Utterly devastating. I haven’t been able to return to my job as a teacher in a special school yet as I am a mess.

At the time we were induced to deliver our boy, it was noticed that my blood sugar was high. Fast forward to repeat hba1c test two weeks ago and a call from the GP to request a face to face meeting. I expected her to say they wanted to investigate further with the lasting glucose test but she gave me the diabetic diagnosis there and then and has put me straight onto metformin. I’m still coming to terms with it all and am terrified to eat anything.

I am a life long vegetarian (and fussy). I also do slimming world which works a treat for me. The thing is, so much of my diet on slimming world is made up of potatoes, rice, pasta etc. I know that carbs play a big part in diabetes management and if I cut it out of my diet too much I am going to struggle for meals. I am attending the diabetic education classes starting next week and my slimming world leader is going to give me information on how to follow the plan as a diabetic.

It is all very overwhelming right now. We want to try again for a baby as soon as we can due to my age and very irregular cycles. I don’t have years left, but I know that the Diabetes must be under control to give me the best chances of successful pregnancy.

When we lost our boy everyone told me not to blame myself but since diagnosis I can’t help that feel I am to blame after all. I wasn’t aware I had a condition. I didn’t help myself too much before hand other than losing a couple of stone. I was still obese though. I can’t forgive myself if this condition killed my only baby after so long trying.

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condolances emma ..what a sad posting ...

merrymunky said:

I don’t think they will offer much in the way of support. They left me in limbo for ten years. I was never given help due to my BMI. I was always told to lose weight. They set the BMI threshold for help sat such an unattainable target.

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There are strict blood sugar targets for pregnant women so the diabetes team USA better option for help than anyone already seen.

@merrymunky
Hello Emma and welcome to the Forum Here is the Basic Information we give to new members and I hope you will find it both interesting and helpful.

BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEW MEMBERS

Diabetes is the general term to describe people who have blood that is sweeter than normal. A number of different types of diabetes exist.

A diagnosis of diabetes tends to be a big shock for most of us. It’s far from the end of the world though and on this forum you'll find well over 235,000 people who are demonstrating this.

On the forum we have found that with the number of new people being diagnosed with diabetes each day, sometimes the NHS is not being able to give all the advice it would perhaps like to deliver - particularly with regards to people with type 2 diabetes.

The role of carbohydrate

Carbohydrates are a factor in diabetes because they ultimately break down into sugar (glucose) within our blood. We then need enough insulin to either convert the blood sugar into energy for our body, or to store the blood sugar as body fat.

If the amount of carbohydrate we take in is more than our body’s own (or injected) insulin can cope with, then our blood sugar will rise.

The bad news

Research indicates that raised blood sugar levels over a period of years can lead to organ damage, commonly referred to as diabetic complications.

The good news

People on the forum here have shown that there is plenty of opportunity to keep blood sugar levels from going too high. It’s a daily task but it’s within our reach and it’s well worth the effort.

Controlling your carbs

The info below is primarily aimed at people with type 2 diabetes, however, it may also be of benefit for other types of diabetes as well.

There are two approaches to controlling your carbs:

• Reduce your carbohydrate intake
• Choose ‘better’ carbohydrates

Reduce your carbohydrates

A large number of people on this forum have chosen to reduce the amount of carbohydrates they eat as they have found this to be an effective way of improving (lowering) their blood sugar levels.

The carbohydrates which tend to have the most pronounced effect on blood sugar levels tend to be starchy carbohydrates such as rice, pasta, bread, potatoes and similar root vegetables, flour based products (pastry, cakes, biscuits, battered food etc) and certain fruits.

Choosing better carbohydrates

The low glycaemic index diet is often favoured by healthcare professionals but some people with diabetes find that low GI does not help their blood sugar enough and may wish to cut out these foods altogether.

Read more on carbohydrates and diabetes.

Over 145,000 people have taken part in the Low Carb Program - a 10 week structured education course that is helping people lose weight and reduce medication dependency by explaining the science behind carbs, insulin and GI.

Eating what works for you

Different people respond differently to different types of food. What works for one person may not work so well for another. The best way to see which foods are working for you is to test your blood sugar with a glucose meter.

To be able to see what effect a particular type of food or meal has on your blood sugar is to do a test before the meal and then test after the meal. A test 2 hours after the meal gives a good idea of how your body has reacted to the meal.

The blood sugar ranges recommended by NICE are as follows:

Blood glucose ranges for type 2 diabetes

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 8.5 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (adults)

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 9 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (children)

• Before meals: 4 to 8 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 10 mmol/l

However, those that are able to, may wish to keep blood sugar levels below the NICE after meal targets.

Access to blood glucose test strips

The NICE guidelines suggest that people newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes should be offered:

• structured education to every person and/or their carer at and around the time of diagnosis, with annual reinforcement and review
• self-monitoring of plasma glucose to a person newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes only as an integral part of his or her self-management education

Therefore both structured education and self-monitoring of blood glucose should be offered to people with type 2 diabetes. Read more on getting access to blood glucose testing supplies.

You may also be interested to read questions to ask at a diabetic clinic.

Note: This post has been edited from Sue/Ken's post to include up to date information.
Take part in Diabetes.co.uk digital education programs and improve your understanding. Most of these are free.

• Low Carb Program - it's made front-page news of the New Scientist and The Times. Developed with 20,000 people with type 2 diabetes; 96% of people who take part recommend it... find out why
  
  
• Hypo Program - improve your understanding of hypos. There's a version for people with diabetes, parents/guardians of children with type 1, children with type 1 diabetes, teachers and HCPs.
  

Emma, I am so sorry to hear about your baby boy. Be kind to yourself at the moment and take things in tiny steps at a time.

Hugs

P

Hi. You are starting to do the right things to get to grips with the diabetes. SW is well-known for pushing the carbs which is the opposite of what we (or anyone?) wants. It is important to keep the carbs way down and have enough fats, proteins, veg and non-tropical fruit to keep you feeling full and obtain adequate nutrients. Carbs are not essential for us unless an athlete although you do need fibre which you can get from veg and fruit or small quantities of the better carbs such as beans and lentils etc. Let's hope the weight and BS come down. BTW if the Metformin gives you any bowel problems lasting more than a week or so do ask for the Slow Release version 'SR'