Just at rock bottom now

[Maggie75]

Hi everyone,

I'm T2, no control over my diabetes at all in the last year or so due to severe mental health problems, had a full breakdown a few weeks ago, was truly suicidal, had rats behind the walls and in the loft of the house and it was beyond a living nightmare, I was terrified constantly, took weeks to get the problem under control, I was diagnosed with severe mental exhaustion, prescribed sedatives to take as well as the other 3 meds I need to take for my mental health and signed off work again.
I just can't pick myself up from this, I'm having really bad stomach problems now with acid reflux, I'm on a waiting list for endoscopy for this, I feel like my stomach lining is in shreds, I've been drinking a lot of wine of the last while just because of how bad I feel constantly, had a major rosacea flare up as well, face burning, looked like a beetroot literally, been on antibiotics for this now for 3 weeks as apparently it's infected, I didn't even know rosacea could get infected!
I honestly feel like my physical as well as mental health is so bad now that I'm just not going to be around very much longer, I'm sorry if that sounds overdramatic but it's just how I feel and I'm very frightened, why can't I find the strength to help myself, I know what I need to do eating and drinking wise but have no ability or reserves left to do this. It devastates me that I've gotten this bad, sorry if this sounds self-pitying, I just had to vent a little.

Maggie

 

[AndBreathe]

Hi everyone,

I'm T2, no control over my diabetes at all in the last year or so due to severe mental health problems, had a full breakdown a few weeks ago, was truly suicidal, had rats behind the walls and in the loft of the house and it was beyond a living nightmare, I was terrified constantly, took weeks to get the problem under control, I was diagnosed with severe mental exhaustion, prescribed sedatives to take as well as the other 3 meds I need to take for my mental health and signed off work again.
I just can't pick myself up from this, I'm having really bad stomach problems now with acid reflux, I'm on a waiting list for endoscopy for this, I feel like my stomach lining is in shreds, I've been drinking a lot of wine of the last while just because of how bad I feel constantly, had a major rosacea flare up as well, face burning, looked like a beetroot literally, been on antibiotics for this now for 3 weeks as apparently it's infected, I didn't even know rosacea could get infected!
I honestly feel like my physical as well as mental health is so bad now that I'm just not going to be around very much longer, I'm sorry if that sounds overdramatic but it's just how I feel and I'm very frightened, why can't I find the strength to help myself, I know what I need to do eating and drinking wise but have no ability or reserves left to do this. It devastates me that I've gotten this bad, sorry if this sounds self-pitying, I just had to vent a little.

Maggie

Maggie, life can be very harsh indeed at times, and you're obviously having a really bad time at the moment. I feel for you enormously.

I don't have any silver bullet wisdom to offer you, but just take one day at a time. Looking too far forward can be overwhelming a the best of times, but in the pit with "the black dog", it must seem impossible.

Just do your best each day. It strikes me that you are around, and talking, and that is a huge thing. That you want to be better is really something to give you optimism.

Every best wish to you. I'll be keeping an eye open for your posts

 

[jjraak]

Maggie, life can be very harsh indeed at times, and you're obviously having a really bad time at the moment. I feel for you enormously.

I don't have any silver bullet wisdom to offer you, but just take one day at a time. Looking too far forward can be overwhelming a the best of times, but in the pit with "the black dog", it must seem impossible.

Just do your best each day. It strikes me that you are around, and talking, and that is a huge thing. That you want to be better is really something to give you optimism.

Every best wish to you. I'll be keeping an eye open for your posts

Hi Maggie

I'd second @AndBreathe post entirely.

The very fact you're here talking about it, shows you realise the issues affecting you .

The very fact you're vocalising it, ( just like you might to a close friend or trusted therapist ) shows, I think that you want to help yourself, and you recognise you're just in a place where you need more help & advice than you once did.

I'm a big believer that putting our pain & problems down in some format, can be cathartic & a massive help.

A private note for yourself or on a forum like this, where you can be honest, without the worry how you'll impact close family.

It's better to let the light in then keep secret how you truly feel.

 

[JenniferM55]

Hi @Maggie75 life can come at you fast at times. You're not alone, think most of us have been overwhelmed with life at times.

Keep reaching out, sometimes when you verbalise your hurts and fears a glimpse of a solution can appear.

A little trick when you feel overwhelmed, try aiming to fix your situation by just 10%, then go for 20%, before you know you it, you've freed yourself out of the doldrums.

Wishing you well x

 

[Maggie75]

Thank you so much for your replies and kind words, it actually was quite cathartic just to put in writing how I was feeling, sometimes it can be very difficult to explain to someone how you are feeling, particularly if they don't have mental health issues, unfortunately it still is one of the 'invisible' disabilities, and it is just good to talk to people who understand and can empathise.
I'm just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other for now, one day, often one hour at a time, but I'm here and I need to cling on to that and keep going and hopefully I can get the strength to start taking better care of myself. Thanks again.

Maggie x

 

[Prancy]

Thank you so much for your replies and kind words, it actually was quite cathartic just to put in writing how I was feeling, sometimes it can be very difficult to explain to someone how you are feeling, particularly if they don't have mental health issues, unfortunately it still is one of the 'invisible' disabilities, and it is just good to talk to people who understand and can empathise.
I'm just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other for now, one day, often one hour at a time, but I'm here and I need to cling on to that and keep going and hopefully I can get the strength to start taking better care of myself. Thanks again.

Maggie x

How are doing? I can relate to how you feel. I’m suffering with some struggles right now and my anxiety is really bothering me big time. I got a referral for therapy and am trying to get it scheduled. i’m trying to be as healthy as possible. Please don’t blame yourself for going through this. Life is hard. I am being gentle with myself. I intend to get through the ordeal and be ok. Life really is a box of chocolates. We never know what we are gonna get.

 

[Prancy]

Update: I had my initial therapy session this week! It went well and think it’s going to help me.

 

[lovinglife]

Update: I had my initial therapy session this week! It went well and think it’s going to help me.

That’s good news

 

[Prancy]

Well, my neurologist says I don’t have neuropathy. I’m shocked based on my symptoms. Oh well, I hope the symptoms fade. I was prescribed anxiety meds. I’ll try them, along with the therapy.

 

[EllieM]

Well, my neurologist says I don’t have neuropathy. I’m shocked based on my symptoms. Oh well, I hope the symptoms fade. I was prescribed anxiety meds. I’ll try them, along with the therapy.

Not having neuropathy sounds like good news to me. Have you seen a physio at all? That's usually my first step with weird aches and pains.

 

[Prancy]

Not having neuropathy sounds like good news to me. Have you seen a physio at all? That's usually my first step with weird aches and pains.

I haven’t, but perhaps I should. Do you mean a physical therapist?

 

[EllieM]

I haven’t, but perhaps I should. Do you mean a physical therapist?

Yes, a physiotherapist.

A lot of issues can be treated by exercises, and they can also do diagnostics...

 

[Prancy]

Yes, a physiotherapist.

A lot of issues can be treated by exercises, and they can also do diagnostics...

I agree. I actually just finished a course of treatment with one for my leg. I would like to return, but I would need a referral from my primary for insurance purposes.

 

[Prancy]

Uodate: I called the physiotherapist and she agreed to have me come in for a free screening to evaluate the arm pain! I’m so happy!

 

[Herbie1972]

Update: I had my initial therapy session this week! It went well and think it’s going to help me.

Prancy, were you referred to a diabetes psychologist? I spoke to my consultant the other day about how I'm feeling overwhelmed with my T1, having had it for 40+ years now and she said that it's very common to get 'diabetes burn-out'.

Hope all goes well with your therapy

 

[Prancy]

Prancy, were you referred to a diabetes psychologist? I spoke to my consultant the other day about how I'm feeling overwhelmed with my T1, having had it for 40+ years now and she said that it's very common to get 'diabetes burn-out'.

Hope all goes well with your therapy

Congratulations on 40 plus years of T1 management! What an accomplishment. I appreciate your comments.


I found my therapist by looking online at the insurance In network providers. My insurance doesn’t cover anything not in network. I researched his credentials and thought he seemed a good fit. My insurance required a referral by my primary, which I got. He’s not a diabetes psychologist. We do discuss it though, since much of my anxiety is health related. I think I’m doing much better and now only meet every two weeks.

 

[Herbie1972]

Congratulations on 40 plus years of T1 management! What an accomplishment. I appreciate your comments.


I found my therapist by looking online at the insurance In network providers. My insurance doesn’t cover anything not in network. I researched his credentials and thought he seemed a good fit. My insurance required a referral by my primary, which I got. He’s not a diabetes psychologist. We do discuss it though, since much of my anxiety is health related. I think I’m doing much better and now only meet every two weeks.

Well done, sounds like you're definitely on the right path. Keep it up