Living with a partner with uncontrolled type 2 diabetes

[Molly56]

Hi Molly, came across this article where the wife of a Type1 diabetic was having the same sort of problems as you.

Concerned about a non-compliant husband.

http://www.diabetesmine.com/2014/07/ask-dmine-the-non-compliant-husband.html

@catherinecherub
Thank you for this link....have had a look and found it was useful to hear of the experiences of someone else who is clearly in similar circumstances to myself and the advice given.

Just picking up on a couple of points
"It’s time to pack your bags and walk out the door." .....this is easier said than done firstly when I do care about him and what happens to him and secondly because it is actually my house...could be a tricky one!

"Living with someone who is slowly committing suicide is hard on your soul." .......yes it is hard but I guess the only thing I can do is to make sure that I think about myself (without sounding selfish), be strong, look after my own health and wellbeing and my future (whatever that may be).....whilst still trying to help ease the situation where I can.

I guess the point is that there are lots of people out there in similar circumstances to myself but that each is unique to the individual concerned ....my hope is that everyone manages to find their own way forward in their own challenging circumstances ....

.....sorry if that all sounds a bit profound but guess that is just the mood I am in tonight.

 

[this is too difficult]

@catherinecherub
Thank you for this link....have had a look and found it was useful to hear of the experiences of someone else who is clearly in similar circumstances to myself and the advice given.

Just picking up on a couple of points
"It’s time to pack your bags and walk out the door." .....this is easier said than done firstly when I do care about him and what happens to him and secondly because it is actually my house...could be a tricky one!

"Living with someone who is slowly committing suicide is hard on your soul." .......yes it is hard but I guess the only thing I can do is to make sure that I think about myself (without sounding selfish), be strong, look after my own health and wellbeing and my future (whatever that may be).....whilst still trying to help ease the situation where I can.

I guess the point is that there are lots of people out there in similar circumstances to myself but that each is unique to the individual concerned ....my hope is that everyone manages to find their own way forward in their own challenging circumstances ....

.....sorry if that all sounds a bit profound but guess that is just the mood I am in tonight.

Sorry Molly I seem to have misunderstood.

@catherinecherub
Thank you for this link....have had a look and found it was useful to hear of the experiences of someone else who is clearly in similar circumstances to myself and the advice given.

Just picking up on a couple of points
"It’s time to pack your bags and walk out the door." .....this is easier said than done firstly when I do care about him and what happens to him and secondly because it is actually my house...could be a tricky one!

"Living with someone who is slowly committing suicide is hard on your soul." .......yes it is hard but I guess the only thing I can do is to make sure that I think about myself (without sounding selfish), be strong, look after my own health and wellbeing and my future (whatever that may be).....whilst still trying to help ease the situation where I can.

I guess the point is that there are lots of people out there in similar circumstances to myself but that each is unique to the individual concerned ....my hope is that everyone manages to find their own way forward in their own challenging circumstances ....

.....sorry if that all sounds a bit profound but guess that is just the mood I am in tonight.

So am I right in thinking you care about him and wish to stay with him?

 

[Molly56]

Sorry Molly I seem to have misunderstood.

So am I right in thinking you care about him and wish to stay with him?

Yes I do care about him ...and wish to stay with him (I think) .....though he completely does my head in at times

Have you done your frowning exercises today? (ref: an earlier post)...........keep smiling

 

[this is too difficult]

Yes I do care about him ...and wish to stay with him (I think) .....though he completely does my head in at times

Have you done your frowning exercises today? (ref: an earlier post)...........keep smiling

seem to be feeling a bit better tonight so have only frowned for 5 hours.
Moaning has also been reduced.
Was a bit more grumpy than usual this afternoon though.

 

[catherinecherub]

@Enclave
To send a private message, known on this forum as Conversations, click the envelope that is displayed at the top right hand corner of the forum next to your name.

 

[Enclave]

Thank .. Will give it go
Thank you it worked I hope .. Now you all don't have to wade through my life story

 

[Molly56]

Are you worried about the health of a family member?
Discussion in 'Diabetes Discussions'

The initial answer is "yes".....have they been reading my posts????

Sounds tempting......pity you can't do it without the telly bit!......am not one to lay out my dirty laundry in public, except for discussing it with "friends" on this forum ....but that's different as no-one knows who I am

 

[donnellysdogs]

Perhaps going to a counsellor privately for the pair of you? You could explain your frustrations, and he could explain his?

I know I've said this before, but it really kicked my hubby up the backside, and he never admitted being depressed. Always blamed me. Counsellor said I wasn't the depressed one, it was hubby. It well n truly kicked him up the butt.

We did have a very straight talking counsellor though. Very blunt at times.

Hubby knew from the counselling he HAD to change.

Nowadays anything and everything can be talked about between us without either one of us getting upset.




Loving life

 

[Molly56]

In the name of science and trying to encourage him to use the blood testing kit that the nurse had given him (for people who don't know he has not tested before / was told previously he didn't need to /is adamant he doesn't need to.....subject of another thread/ discussion...) I suggested that we both test our bs levels after dinner tonight.....mine was 6.4 (hope that is ok) ......and his was 23.2 (or so he told me as he wouldn't show me the reading!)........not good I know but at least I got him to use it so progress has been made.

The things I have to do.............

 

[Bluetit1802]

Onwards and upwards!
How long after starting the meal did you test?

 

[Molly56]

Onwards and upwards!
How long after starting the meal did you test?

I would estimate about an hour and a half....we probably ate about 7pm and tested about 8.30pm....was not a big dinner, more of a snack (sandwich & crisps for me / salad and pork pie for him) as I had eaten out at lunchtime.

 

[Bluetit1802]

Then your reading was good. His was terrible! I hope he lets you do it again tomorrow, or maybe a fasting one in the morning?

 

[Molly56]

Then your reading was good. His was terrible! I hope he lets you do it again tomorrow, or maybe a fasting one in the morning?

Guess that would be one way of waking him up

 

[this is too difficult]

Guess that would be one way of waking him up

I feel for you. You must be a saint.

 

[Scouser58]

Hello Molly56, and friends, about the anti-depressants I tried Amitriptyline and it made me sleep, it's amember of the tricyclic group and has some side affects, including being aware if diabetic, affecting blood sugar levels, blurred vision, dont drink, dont drive or use machines, also as it has a sedating effect, causing drowsiness the DVLA has a do not drive notice. I am now on Imipramine, as it does not make me sleepy, good as I drive.Molly sorry I have not answered your other post, I have been all over the place, but will get to it next, ttfn

 

[Molly56]

... about the anti-depressants I tried Amitriptyline and it made me sleep, it's a member of the tricyclic group and has some side affects, including being aware if diabetic, affecting blood sugar levels, blurred vision, dont drink, dont drive or use machines, also as it has a sedating effect, causing drowsiness the DVLA has a do not drive notice.

@Scouser58 Looks like I may be on a losing battle then.....

existing high bs levels + food + amitryptyline (3 x 10mg) + can of cider + (uncompliant partner) = bs level of 23.2

....was testing bs monitor last night after dinner (see earlier post)....

Have just done google search on "dvla amitriptyline" and found advice on 'do not drive' .....fortunately the amitriptyline is taken in the evening when as a general rule he will not be driving....am a bit worried about the rest of this week though as he is going away whilst I go away to stay with a friend for a few days - he may be driving in the evening then (and possibly having a drink). Nothing I can do about it though so will try not to worry too much.

 

[donnellysdogs]

Certain anti depressants are notifiable to the svla.

Somewhere on their website, it states which antidepressants are notifiable.

I only know because when I was having hassle with dvla, I told the person that I was speaking to that all the **** they were giving me and stress was making me depressed. The next day I had a form telling me I had not informed them of a medical condition... (Depression) and I jad to fill out another dvla medical report. I can recall looking up depression and antidepressants on their website....

If it says not to drive or use machinery and the drugs are on their website then you should be notifying the dvla.


Loving life

 

[Anie]

If he won't show you his reading can you bring it up on the 'history' on the machine? My meter (not the same as yours) shows the last ??? Number of readings taken.

 

[Molly56]

Certain anti depressants are notifiable to the svla.

Somewhere on their website, it states which antidepressants are notifiable.

I only know because when I was having hassle with dvla, I told the person that I was speaking to that all the **** they were giving me and stress was making me depressed. The next day I had a form telling me I had not informed them of a medical condition... (Depression) and I jad to fill out another dvla medical report. I can recall looking up depression and antidepressants on their website....

If it says not to drive or use machinery and the drugs are on their website then you should be notifying the dvla.


Loving life

Thanks for that......will check it out in more detail later though whether he will do it or not I don't know.....have told him that he should have informed his insurance company of his diabetes but know for a fact he hasn't

 

[Molly56]

If he won't show you his reading can you bring it up on the 'history' on the machine? My meter (not the same as yours) shows the last ??? Number of readings taken.

@Anie Thanks, have just checked it out....the last reading was 23.2; previous readings (not sure when /how close to meals) were 18.4 / 20.00 / 15.1 so all on the high side.
Mine, in the name of science / encouraging use of meter, were 6.8 and 6.4 probably shortly after a meal