Lonely

[samantha13]

Hi all *wave*

I'm a 29 year old type 1 for 3years. I am feeling so lost and lonely. I have become obsessed with how many friends other people have. I have a few people I can meet for dinner and coffee etc but no 'real' friends. This saddens me and I don't kno what I'm doing wrong. Iv lost touch with all my old school and uni friends. I'm moving to a different town at the end of the month so I worry I will lose touch with the companions I do have. I don't kno that thers any advice anyone can give me I guess I just needed to rant. Phew





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[Andy12345]

hi,

loneliness is a terrible thing there are things like joining clubs etc but if you arent the type then you arent the type, its harder for some people than others, i wished i could help, maybe you just need to make an effort (if you havent already) maybe do the thing youre most interested in and look online for folks that are also interested in it and see what happens, get out and about as much as you can because you wont meet new people where theyre arent any, im struggling to find some advice here so im sorry if its useless, ive experienced loneliness but i like it lol, my mum is lonely since my dad went and we once lived in the sticks, i worked all the time (still do) and the wife was stuck at home with 2 young kiddies all day and she finds it almost impossible to make new friends so we upped and moved back to london so i know its awful, hey theres always us

anyway all the best, good luck

 

[samantha13]

Thanks for the reply. I think I try to hard with people to b honest then I must scare them away! I love my own company I suppose I feel like I'm not the 'norm' as I'm in my 20s and don't have lots of friends! Starting a new job in a new town so I will have to make an effort and hopefully I won't feel like this too much longer. I have a great partner but I'm constantly stressing about what will happen in later life if he was to die before me. I kno this is so silly


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[Andy12345]

ahh your a worrier! theres no hope for you im sorry

hehe sounds like theres plenty of friends just around the corner
ive heard it said that the loneliest place for some is in a crowded room, i have felt that with the diabetes to be honest which is partly why i find this place so nice as i feel like im with people that get it, im lucky i love being on my own though, hence the night fishing for days on end when the wife allows it hehe

 

[samantha13]

Lol yes I'm afraid so. I'm my own worst enemy at times. Thanks andy for taking the time to reply and making me smile


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[Yorksman]

Nearly everyone loses touch with old school friends or those from Uni. Most people socialise with people they know from work who are, as you point out, more social aquaintances. People who were once close do drift apart, even if they are married to each other! It is quite normal and nothing to do with you, so don't blame yourself. They simply fill their lives with other stuff. Nonesense mostly, but it takes time for them to discover that. Remain cheerful.

As far as those others who appear to have 'lots of friends' you can be sure that there is also a lot of gossip and petty jealousies.

"False peace
with bad friends,
burns faster than fire'.

 

[Kat100]

Think we go though so many different stages...when I was working that was enough of a social life for me...now I have finished working I have to find new fgroups etc...it's a different social time....not easy....I also love my own space at home it's cosy....

 

[mrman]

Hi samantha, always someone here to chat too.

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[Robinredbreast]

Thanks for the reply. I think I try to hard with people to b honest then I must scare them away! I love my own company I suppose I feel like I'm not the 'norm' as I'm in my 20s and don't have lots of friends! Starting a new job in a new town so I will have to make an effort and hopefully I won't feel like this too much longer. I have a great partner but I'm constantly stressing about what will happen in later life if he was to die before me. I kno this is so silly


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Hi Samantha nice to meet you :wave: Try not to be too hard on yourself, not everyone has hundreds of friends ( or followers on Spacebook :lol: ) You sound a lovely person and like you I enjoy my own company also.

Just be yourself try not to worry about things, it will all slot into place. If people don't take to you, ( for whatever reason) it's their problem) In the past I have often wondered why some people have lots of 'friends' even though that person can be a two faced back stabber, but I gave up, that's life and that's people for you :roll: Just be your self and I wish you all the best.

Take care

RRB

 

[samantha13]

Ugh thank u all those who have replied
I need to change my way of viewing things it seems and maybe things will brighten up! Thanks all xx


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[alohanicky2009]

Hello I live on my own and moved to a small village and knew no one but I made a resolution that I would get out every day and with a smile ( even forced) I would say good morning or afternoon etc to at least one person then I increased it , one day I said hello to a lady who I saw most days , then one day in a longer chat she told me until I spoke to her there were days when she never spoke to anyone we now meet up for the odd coffee and a friendship is forming, if people don't speak it is their loss and to be honest bad mannered,


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[alohanicky2009]

Forgot to say quality friends rather than quantity ,


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[C burns]

Hi
Maybe u should find out if there r any diabetes groups in ur area and maybe people from the forum that u could meet up with?

I know I make excuses to avoid works nte outs n meals with friends etc as my colleagues and work friends always feel the need to question wot I'm eating, drinking, etc!


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[Andy12345]

im the other way i spend all day tutting at people and saying "you really gonna eat that?" lol

 

[donnellysdogs]

Agree with alohanicky... I always say hello to everyone I meet. My dogs were a great source of making friends.

Most towns and villages have something going on around them... Zumba dancing, yogas, crib nights, quizzes etc.. Its just having the nerve to go up to people and say... Hi my name is ....... Would you mind if I joined you?? People will then want to find out anout you... It just needs practice.. Its the same in a new wirkplace.. Practice when you're by yourself... You'll be amazed how easy the words can fall out..

I've moved now 24 times in 31 years... ( NOT due to ASBO'S!! -lol!!) and its not easy to make friends. I rarely make female friends as I havent got children, dont like shopping, like to scrimp and save...have just 3 pairs of shoes..at 50 I am also very fit and got a lovely, lean, fit body... So women are rare friends to me.
However, I find it so easy to get on with males.. Love diy, love cars and bikes etc. dont talk about children, can drink beer as well as wine and love laughing and males 20 years younger than me still pinch my bum!!! So my question is..... Are you trying to make friends with the wrong sex?? It took me 40!years to realise that Males were always going to be my friends. My best friend is a gay male, and it diesnt matter where I have lived or worked its always been males that I form friendships with... And yes I am married with a husband who has always accepted this. One of the best things I did was to join a uoholstery course.. One male teacher, and 5 other women from 26 to 70+... This has got me more friendly with women than I have ever been.... But I think this is because they are all practical too and 3 of us havent got children.

Its not the quantity of friends that you have... Its far better to have 1 reliable friend than many, many acquantances.

For anybody that can call themselves 'sort of retired' - (me!)- there is a great U3A organisation around the country. I moved again last year... And I have now joined this as well!

 

[cbowman01]

Iget it....me too when i do meet ppl they dont get our disease.

 

[blink]

I'm someone who doesnt really like speaking to people out and about but i know alot of people i speak to online reguarly through World of Warcraft. i speak to the same group all the time without having to worry about goin out to meet up. i know thats not for everyone but maybe a good way to meet new people. Also as people on here that might live close by where your moving to? maybe with starting a new job you will meet new people and make friends through that?

sure things will get better for you

 

[Giverny]

You'd be surprised how many people don't have many friends. Often, it's not really a reflection on that individual... it's just the way things go.

Since you're moving away, think of it as a chance to become the 'new you'. You have an opportunity to totally reinvent yourself and do all the things you think you're missing out on. Join some clubs, sign up to classes - they're a great way to meet friends. You never know, you might find someone that you really click with!

 

[samantha13]

I ended up having a wee cry over the weekend and my partner caught me. I had to be honest and tell him what was bothering me. He is so understanding and says once we move he will join a club with me and help me mingle more but he also made a good point in saying that if that's my biggest concern in life then I'm very lucky. This is so true and put things in perspective for me. I'm a pessimist by nature but I'm goin to make an effort to look at the positives! I have a great partner and as you say a new start in life. Thank u everyone xx


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[Robinredbreast]

I ended up having a wee cry over the weekend and my partner caught me. I had to be honest and tell him what was bothering me. He is so understanding and says once we move he will join a club with me and help me mingle more but he also made a good point in saying that if that's my biggest concern in life then I'm very lucky. This is so true and put things in perspective for me. I'm a pessimist by nature but I'm goin to make an effort to look at the positives! I have a great partner and as you say a new start in life. Thank u everyone xx


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Onwards and upwards Samantha, I wish you all the best in life and your partner sounds a good 'un. Good luck.

RRB