Moderator Elections 2019 - Voting Now CLOSED - Thank you everyone who voted.

Bump

 

Bump

 

Bump

 

Just voted for another candidate, one to go...

 

Bump

 

Good to see you are pacing yourself.

 

I am looking at the track record of candidates, just like I did for our federal election candidates which is called preferential voting.

 

A nudge for the night owls.

 

I actually laughed at this!

 

Bump!

 

A funny little bump:

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Politicians and nappies have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

When in doubt, mumble.

I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
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Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?

Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 

Thanks for bumps!!!!
Good luck everyone.

 

And another bump

 

Bumpity bump!​

 

I do not know what tackli is / means.

Good job the voting for mods is secret, or I might have answered the last bit.

While I am here, bumpity buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmp.