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Need help with my daughter

Davey119

Davey119

Member
Messages
10
Type of diabetes
Parent
Treatment type
Insulin
hi guys I’m new here my daughter has type 1 diabetes and is 14 she’s just come to live with me as her mother got sectioned for the third time. I’m very worried about her as she is extremely lazy refuses to even get dressed as she’s always tired she says

Here’s what I’ve found her diet to be like so far which worry’s me
4 litres of Diet Coke sometimes more a day!
She constantly eats chocolates big bags of them. Minstrels and choclate stars and Easter eggs.
Always eating choclate yoghurts
Crisps
She won’t eat meat
The only thing she will eat is
Pizza plain cheese
Mash potatoes with plenty of butter carrots and peas
Chips
Beans and toast
Pasta with tuna

She does have a little bit of weight on her bit I’m at wits end as she’s always bored but won’t even attempt to get dressed and when we say let’s go do something she always says she’s tired

I think it’s her diet but she’s stuck in that diet from her mother I’m hoping you guys can give me advice or help in any way thanks guys
 
Hello and welcome to the forum @Davey119

It sounds like she is tired because she's not in control of her diabetes and is eating unhealthy food as her body isn't processing the glucose properly, so she's in a catch 22 situation, that's what it sounds like, however without knowing what her blood glucose readings are like it's not as though I can know for sure.

Type 1 diabetics can drink coke, eat sweets as long as the insulin taken matches the carbs eaten.

Have you talked to her about her control and how she is mentally coping with dealing with her mother/diabetes ?

14 is a difficult age as she's a teenager but getting things under control and ditching the coke/sweets/fast food is a major priority, it's not sustainable to maintain this diet and manage excellent control with type 1 diabetes. If you can find out what's going on with her control and if she is managing this then that at least will give you the heads up on what is really going on, maybe get her to join up here and talk to others ?
 
Also if you want your post moved to the 'type 1' or 'parents' section for more visibility with other members please let me know ?
 
Juicyj said:
Hello and welcome to the forum @Davey119

It sounds like she is tired because she's not in control of her diabetes and is eating unhealthy food as her body isn't processing the glucose properly, so she's in a catch 22 situation, that's what it sounds like, however without knowing what her blood glucose readings are like it's not as though I can know for sure.

Type 1 diabetics can drink coke, eat sweets as long as the insulin taken matches the carbs eaten.

Have you talked to her about her control and how she is mentally coping with dealing with her mother/diabetes ?

14 is a difficult age as she's a teenager but getting things under control and ditching the coke/sweets/fast food is a major priority, it's not sustainable to maintain this diet and manage excellent control with type 1 diabetes. If you can find out what's going on with her control and if she is managing this then that at least will give you the heads up on what is really going on, maybe get her to join up here and talk to others ?
Click to expand...

She says she thinks her blood glucose levels are 5.something which is not helpful,

I’ve come into her life late so I’m learning about this as I go I’m just trying to get her registered with a doctor at present then hopefully they can do the blood glucose test again so I know the level 100%

I’ve trued having a chat about her feelings she’s very closed off I think because I came into her life late on.

She has said she’s not interested in sport or walking but I beleive that walking and a change in diet will help.

I’m at my wits end finding it very hard to get her to do anything

Also what worry’s me is her mother’s a paranoid schizophrenic and has not taught her to do her own insulin and that worry’s me I beleive she should be able to give herself insulin at her age
 
Hi @Davey119 and welcome to the forum.
How long has your daughter been T1D?
What are her blood sugars? I can only imagine extremely high with what she is eating at the moment
Is she doing her injections regular?
 
porl69 said:
Hi @Davey119 and welcome to the forum.
How long has your daughter been T1D?
What are her blood sugars? I can only imagine extremely high with what she is eating at the moment
Is she doing her injections regular?
Click to expand...


I’m still learning them she says it’s normally around 9 but I seen her at around 5-6 at times it seems to change very rapidly with her but I don’t know till I see her doctors what’s normal.

When checking should I maybe write in a diary what her levels are every time she checks!

Forgot to add she injects herself in the morning between 34-36 with a blue pen

And then injects herself with levels 16-17- or 18 depending with an orange and green pen
 
Hi @Davey119 Your doing the right thing by getting her registered, this will help her to get in regular contact with a diabetes nurse who will help her to manage her own insulin. The important test they can do is the HbA1c which is an average of what her blood glucose levels have been over a period of 3 months and will tell you how well controlled she is. This will also tell the nurse what the next course of action will be.

At the age of 14 she should be administering her own insulin, but it has to match what goes into her mouth, so she will have an insulin to carbohydrate ratio and around 3 hours later her blood glucose levels should return to between 4.5-7 mmol/l, on day to day basis this will explain if she is managing ok, unfortunately it's going on what she tells you vs what really is actually happening and until you have established trust with her, it's hard to know whether to believe this or not based on what's she's eating/drinking.

Exercise/walking is a brilliant idea, both of you should do it together to help bond, it may also help her to open up more to you too.
 
Having been a "lazy" teen, I hope you're not calling her lazy to her face. It might be rather counterproductive and she might shut you out, which would be VERY unhelpful to both of you. There's a difference between lazy and so fatigued your muscles and bones ache with it, or you can't even cut your own meat and someone else has to carve it for you.... And when you're that age it's hard for people to understand you lack the energy your friends do have. Youth sadly doesn't equal health, but people always seem to think it does. If she's this tired all the time her current diet doesn't seem to be helping. There are other things that might be at play, like vitamin D deficiency, a wonky thyroid or chronic fatigue, all of which might need to be ruled out... Anyway, if those are her numbers, before eating and two hours after first bite, she seems to be using her insulin just fine to compensate. That, or she's checking them at a time when she knows they'll be fine, and not when she's high and knows she could get in trouble for eating crisps! I was very secretive as a teen as no-one actually listened to what was going on with me, so I ended up trying to sort myself out. (Which, at that age and without google to help me at the time, was not going to happen). Be there, be supportive, be open, and hopefully her diet'll improve some too. From what I gather there have been a lot of changes in her life lately and being chronically ill is hard enough in a stable enviroment. I'm just a type 2, but I've had enough other issues to deal with as a kid.... It gets lonely when you're not able to keep up with your friends, and diabetes alone is a possible depression trigger (which also feeds fatigue).... Handle with care, and do talk to the doctor the first chance you get. Knowledge is power, and seeing you make the effort might stimulate her to improve habits as well. Good luck!
 
Juicyj said:
Hi @Davey119 Your doing the right thing by getting her registered, this will help her to get in regular contact with a diabetes nurse who will help her to manage her own insulin. The important test they can do is the HbA1c which is an average of what her blood glucose levels have been over a period of 3 months and will tell you how well controlled she is. This will also tell the nurse what the next course of action will be.

At the age of 14 she should be administering her own insulin, but it has to match what goes into her mouth, so she will have an insulin to carbohydrate ratio and around 3 hours later her blood glucose levels should return to between 4.5-7 mmol/l, on day to day basis this will explain if she is managing ok, unfortunately it's going on what she tells you vs what really is actually happening and until you have established trust with her, it's hard to know whether to believe this or not based on what's she's eating/drinking.

Exercise/walking is a brilliant idea, both of you should do it together to help bond, it may also help her to open up more to you too.
Click to expand...

Thank you that helps a lot I’ve been having a long chat with her whilst chatting on here and I think I may have got somewhere she says we will go for a walk later so that’s a small breakthrough I suppose haha

I think between this forum and doctors it should help me understand her diabetes I beleive she’s had diabetes since she was 6 I think someone asked before haha
 
That's good to hear, exercise is not just beneficial for the body but the mind too, helps keep us sane :) We are a friendly bunch so anything you need to know just shout.
 
JoKalsbeek said:
Having been a "lazy" teen, I hope you're not calling her lazy to her face. It might be rather counterproductive and she might shut you out, which would be VERY unhelpful to both of you. There's a difference between lazy and so fatigued your muscles and bones ache with it, or you can't even cut your own meat and someone else has to carve it for you.... And when you're that age it's hard for people to understand you lack the energy your friends do have. Youth sadly doesn't equal health, but people always seem to think it does. If she's this tired all the time her current diet doesn't seem to be helping. There are other things that might be at play, like vitamin D deficiency, a wonky thyroid or chronic fatigue, all of which might need to be ruled out... Anyway, if those are her numbers, before eating and two hours after first bite, she seems to be using her insulin just fine to compensate. That, or she's checking them at a time when she knows they'll be fine, and not when she's high and knows she could get in trouble for eating crisps! I was very secretive as a teen as no-one actually listened to what was going on with me, so I ended up trying to sort myself out. (Which, at that age and without google to help me at the time, was not going to happen). Be there, be supportive, be open, and hopefully her diet'll improve some too. From what I gather there have been a lot of changes in her life lately and being chronically ill is hard enough in a stable enviroment. I'm just a type 2, but I've had enough other issues to deal with as a kid.... It gets lonely when you're not able to keep up with your friends, and diabetes alone is a possible depression trigger (which also feeds fatigue).... Handle with care, and do talk to the doctor the first chance you get. Knowledge is power, and seeing you make the effort might stimulate her to improve habits as well. Good luck!
Click to expand...

Thank you jo this helps a lot as I think there could be some depression but again I don’t know. She has been through a lot and I want to help her talk it through and tell me what’s going on so I understand

It’s going to be tough I’m in it for the long haul I had depression as a kid no one understood me so I don’t want that for her so trying hard but it can be frustrating but I want her to know she can talk to me

I have maybe called her lazy once or twice so I will work on that it’s a learning curve for us both I guess
 
porl69 said:
Hi @Davey119 and welcome to the forum.
How long has your daughter been T1D?
What are her blood sugars? I can only imagine extremely high with what she is eating at the moment
Is she doing her injections regular?
Click to expand...


She injects after breakfast about 35 with a blue pen and injects again after dinner wit an orange and green pen on numbers between 16-17-18 on both
 
Sounds as if you and your daughter are going through a pretty stressful time and the moment.
Unfortunately, stress can increase BG which, as previously mentioned can make her feel sluggish.
On the other hand, given the way her life has just changed significantly, diabetes may have nothing to do with her energy levels at the moment.

The more you learn about diabetes, the more you can help her when she is ready.
For example, insulin doses will vary depending on many things: different people just need different amounts, the amount of carbs she eats will affect her dose, so will exercise, illness and, as I mentioned earlier, stress.
We cannot advise how much she should be taking or whether 35 and 16-17-18 is appropriate for her.

Good luck during what must be a difficult time for both of you.
 
helensaramay said:
Sounds as if you and your daughter are going through a pretty stressful time and the moment.
Unfortunately, stress can increase BG which, as previously mentioned can make her feel sluggish.
On the other hand, given the way her life has just changed significantly, diabetes may have nothing to do with her energy levels at the moment.

The more you learn about diabetes, the more you can help her when she is ready.
For example, insulin doses will vary depending on many things: different people just need different amounts, the amount of carbs she eats will affect her dose, so will exercise, illness and, as I mentioned earlier, stress.
We cannot advise how much she should be taking or whether 35 and 16-17-18 is appropriate for her.

Good luck during what must be a difficult time for both of you.
Click to expand...

Thank you it is hard and we’re both learning as we go and it is hard but I think it will get easier I just want her to be happy and more motivated to do things. It’s hard for me as I’m very energetic and like to keep busy so it’s hard to see her not wanting to do anything at all
 
has she got anyone to talk to outside the family, a counselor or similar? she may be emotionally run down and exhausted, and may have been having to care for her mum or at least have no adult support to care for herself. It may not be about the diabetes.

and, often, when someone has been under considerable emotional strain (and possibly have safety issues for herself and keeping her mum safe) then, when they reach a place of safety, they fall apart physically and become exhausted. Like battle fatigue. And she may not be aware of any of this as it has been her normal life.

I am assuming a lot, and hope you dont mind me making these points, just in case they are useful.
 
lucylocket61 said:
has she got anyone to talk to outside the family, a counselor or similar? she may be emotionally run down and exhausted, and may have been having to care for her mum or at least have no adult support to care for herself. It may not be about the diabetes.

and, often, when someone has been under considerable emotional strain (and possibly have safety issues for herself and keeping her mum safe) then, when they reach a place of safety, they fall apart physically and become exhausted. Like battle fatigue. And she may not be aware of any of this as it has been her normal life.

I am assuming a lot, and hope you dont mind me making these points, just in case they are useful.
Click to expand...

You may have hit the nail on the head right there unfortunately she has no one to talk to and now she’s moved down south with me she has no friends here she’s starting a new school next week so all very stressful for her

You also got the nail on the head she was caring for her mother as her mother wasn’t taking her meds’ and on top of that her mother was using illegal drugs so it wasn’t a great combination

I want her to feel and know she’s safe with me so trying everything I can to make her feel loved and safe but I never know if I’m doing it all right
 
Davey119 said:
You may have hit the nail on the head right there unfortunately she has no one to talk to and now she’s moved down south with me she has no friends here she’s starting a new school next week so all very stressful for her

You also got the nail on the head she was caring for her mother as her mother wasn’t taking her meds’ and on top of that her mother was using illegal drugs so it wasn’t a great combination

I want her to feel and know she’s safe with me so trying everything I can to make her feel loved and safe but I never know if I’m doing it all right
Click to expand...
You are a wonderful father. The school should have a way of accessing counselling. Has she had a social worker where she was before? they may be able to refer her down where you are, so you can both get support. I say both, as you may need support and information in how to support and help her through this. All the best - let me know if I can help with info.
 
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