Partner not listening at all - worried

[NMrs2010]

My partner was diagnosed with type 2 about a month and a half ago. He was placed on 2 metformin a day long term and 2 glicazide for one month, he was also given a week long treatment for thrush. While on both tablets he was making an effort with his diet, the funny smell on his breath left the thrush cleared up but then his course of glicazide was over. Now the smell and the thrush have returned, hes eating as he used to i.e high carb meals, takeaways and a couple of sweets a day, his weight hasnt reduced at all (hes technically obese albeit just) he just dosnt seem to be accepting that he cant do this anymore, he was told to make an eye appointment and hes not done that either, how can i make him understand that its dangerous to ignore this condition and help him??

 

[donnellysdogs]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

Was your partner not asked to go back for a review....it is unlikely that unless another hba1c etc was done that he would come off tablets after 1 month, it is not a 1 month treatment and finish.......well, not normally........

Has he got a repeat prescription form with the metformin and glicizide on it??? I suggested you get him back to GP as an emergency appointment.....

 

[NMrs2010]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

He wasnt supposed to go back to gp but to see diabetes clinic which was a month away he has it next week for first time. The metformin is on repeat, the glicazide he said was for 1 month only and was given because of the thrush to lower sugars quickly and rid the thrush the gp said. He has made an appointment for next week with gp though (hes on holiday until then) as the thrush has returned and im making him go.

 

[donnellysdogs]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

good. I'm a type 1 pumper, so my knowledge of type 2 is quite limited....sure somebody will be along that is type 2 and can perhaps sugges tmore regarding the glicizide (can't spell!!!).

Good that you are getting him to go back to GP and diabetes clinic. It is important that he gets all the help he can from these people, and to keep using this website as a huge amount of help and support is available here. For both partners, and for the actual diabetic!!!!

Could I ask how he was diagnosed, and do you know what the hba1c level was and whether you have had to change your diets at all??? Feel free to tell me to go away....but the more info sort of, sometimes the greater help from people here....

 

[NMrs2010]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

Thanks for giving advice i really appreciate it, sadly i cant get my husband to even read about diabetes never mind go online so sort of trying to do it for him. He was diagnosed after noticing alot of symptoms, very thirsty, going to loo constantly, weight loss and then thrush, i told him it sounded like diabetes and after a few months managed to convince him to go to the doctor. When he did he has bloods taken and gp called following day to say his blood sugars were 21.8 and to collect a prescription soon as. He then seen gp a few days later was given some leaflet info about eating healthily and losing weight and the treatment for thrush and glicazide that was the last he seen gp.

I have tried to change the diet in the house but hes going out to work etc and eating sweets and takeaway and basically carrying on as normal.

 

[donnellysdogs]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

Oh gosh, it is even tougher on partners when the other half does not accept the diabetes as well as they should....I'm pretty stumped as to how to get partners to change their minds, expecially more so when they won't even look at websites shuch as this that can help them sooooo much!!!!!

A reading of 21.8 was high, it really sounds like he HAS to get a blood test meter to be quite honest, but I really don't know how you will get him to agree to doing blood tests....if the thrush has returned it sounds as if his Blood Glucose levels are still way too high.

Some GP's and nurses are loathe to give out machines and blood strips (lots on these topics here), so wouldn't want you to even suggest to your husband about getting one unless you know that you are going to be able to get your professional people to prescribe the bloodstrips....otherwise your partner will be having another reason for not controlling his bloods, because his GP/DSN won't prescribe bloodtests!!!

Do you go with your partner to his GP and to his diabetic clinic-could you persuade him to let you attend the diabetic clinic?

There is advice here that you could print off and leave hanging around the house in every room, and (or pin it to toilet wall!!!!), but daisy and cugila or sue normally post this info for new recruits to diabetes!!!! So I will leave it to them.

Does your partner have diet drinks or sugary drinks or coffees with sugar etc....the first step could be to try and buy diet drinks in preference to full sugar ones, and to put a sweetener in instead of sugar in drinks if he has sugar in them.

Really when diagnosis of diabetes has been given, I personally have found it has always been best for me if my partner comes with me to my appointments, as he will pick up on things that I don't, and we get more out of the appointment time....

I think you will need to do gentle alterations to his diet, that you are able to do, and to get yourself fully loaded with info to help him.

I am sure that you will get loads of help and encouragement from people here, and believe me - you are not the first to say that partners don't accept their dignosis of diabetes and won't help themselves.....

Sure other people will be along soon.

 

[Eiche]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

Read up on untreated diabetes complications and then lay them down for him and ask him if he wants to go blind, lose circulation in his feet and have them amputated or if he'd like to go on dialysis because his kidney's pack up and wait in agony on a transplant list, IF he gets on it, because his liver packs up.... There is more to untreated/ignored diabetes then tiredness, thirst, thrush and peeing a lot... He needs a shake to wake him up and stop ignoring his condition before there is irreversible damage.

 

[daisy1]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

Hi and welcome to the forum
You are in a very frustrating situation and only your partner can decide to look after himself better. Eiche has told you what he might go through later on if he doesn't take care of himself.

There are members here with very sad and troubling tales to tell and I hope some of them will come and talk to you so you can show their stories to your partner.

There is advice here that you could print off and leave hanging around the house in every room, and (or pin it to toilet wall!!!!), but daisy and cugila or sue normally post this info for new recruits to diabetes!!!! So I will leave it to them.

This is the information written by the Forum Monitors that donnellysdogs was referring to on how to look after diabetes properly to ensure a better future. I suggest you put it in the loo then remove all other reading matter :lol:

BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEWLY DIAGNOSED DIABETICS.

Postby sugarless sue » 02 Oct 2010, 17:49
Here is the advice that Ken and I, as Forum Monitors, usually give to newly diagnosed Diabetics. We hope that these few ideas gained through experience help you to gain control and give you some understanding of Diabetes. This forum doesn't always follow the recommended dietary advice, you have to work out what works for you as we are all different.

It's not just 'sugars' you need to avoid, diabetes is an inability to process glucose properly. Carbohydrate converts, in the body, to glucose. So it makes sense to reduce the amount of carbohydrate that you eat which includes sugars.

For more information on CARBOHYDRATE see here:

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=20306

This is NOT a low carb diet suggestion, just a reduction in your intake of carbohydrate. You have to decide yourself how much of a reduction will keep your blood glucose levels in control.

The main carbs to avoid OR reduce are the complex or starchy carbohydrates such as bread, potatoes, pasta, rice, starchy root veg and also any flour based products. The starchy carbs all convert 100% to glucose in the body and raise the blood sugar levels significantly.

If you are on Insulin you may find that reducing the carb intake also means that you can reduce your dose of insulin. This can help you to keep weight gain down as Insulin tends to make you put on weight and eventually cause insulin resistance. This should be done slowly so as not to cause hypos.

The way to find out how different foods affect you is to do regular daily testing and keep a food diary for a couple of weeks. If you test just before eating, then two hours after eating, you will see the effect of certain foods on your blood glucose levels. Some foods, which are slow acting carbohydrates, are absorbed more slowly so you may need to test three or even four hours later to see the effect that these have on your blood glucose levels.

Buy yourself a carb counter book (you can get these on-line) and you will be able to work out how much carbs you are eating, when you test, the reading two hours after should be roughly the same as the before eating reading, if it is then that meal was fine, if it isn’t then you need to check what you have eaten and think about reducing the portion size of carbs.

When you are buying products check the total carbohydrate content, this includes the sugar content. Do not just go by the amount of sugar on the packaging as this is misleading to a diabetic.


As for a tester, try asking the nurse/doctor and explain that you want to be proactive in managing your own diabetes and therefore need to test so that you can see just how foods affect your blood sugar levels. Hopefully this will work ! Sometimes they are not keen to give Type 2’s the strips on prescription, (in the UK) but you can but try!!

For TIPS FOR STRIPS see here:

viewtopic.php?f=20&t=19002#p173253

If you are an Insulin user in theory you should have no problem getting test strips.

The latest 2010 NICE guidelines for Bg levels are as follows:
Fasting (waking and before meals).......between 4 - 7 mmol/l...(Type 1 & 2)
2 hrs after meals........................no more than 8.5 mmol/l.....( Type 2)

2hrs after meals......................... no more than 9 mmol/l ......(Type 1)

If you are able to keep the post meal numbers lower, so much the better.

It also helps if you can do at least 30 minutes moderate exercise a day, it can be split into 10 min sessions to start with. It doesn't have to be strenuous.

The above is just general advice and it is recommended that you discuss with your HCP before making any changes. You can also ask questions on the forum on anything that is not clear.

Finally a few QUESTIONS TO ASK AT DIABETES CLINIC.

viewtopic.php?f=20&t=17091



Sue/Ken.

 

[NMrs2010]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

Thank you for the replies, i have offered to go to the gp with him and the clinic but he refused too embarrassed to have the wife there i think, i only buy diet drinks and sweeteners for the house now and he does use them without a problem its just he will have a choc bar on the way to work too and another at lunch etc. I have tried telling him about the risks of blindness etc but he seems to think hes only in his 20's so it wont happen to him its infuriating really. I know he does WANT to change but just dosnt know how too, shopping for lunch for example for work hes always had say a sandwich, a yougurt,fruit and a biscuit and just dosnt know how to make substitutions or what to eat as everything seems high in sugar im just as confused with it all tbh. Or not being able to do 'normal' things like eat loads of popcorn at a movie etc he refuses to miss out.

His gp said he dosnt need to monitor bloods and it will be checked every 2 months at diabetes clinic so they wont prescribe anything.

Its hard for us both as we have always eaten a load of rubbish tbh and he has always been overweight although is significantly less than he used to be, weight and diet have always been a problem.

 

[viv1969]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

Read up on untreated diabetes complications and then lay them down for him and ask him if he wants to go blind, lose circulation in his feet and have them amputated or if he'd like to go on dialysis because his kidney's pack up and wait in agony on a transplant list, IF he gets on it, because his liver packs up.... There is more to untreated/ignored diabetes then tiredness, thirst, thrush and peeing a lot... He needs a shake to wake him up and stop ignoring his condition before there is irreversible damage.

Can I just say that this is ABSOLUTELY NOT the way to go about it!!

 

[Eiche]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

Can I just say that this is ABSOLUTELY NOT the way to go about it!!

In YOUR opinion, not mine... I like to try and give constructive advice not just contradict someone's opinion when my own is not the same. This is what I would do if I was in this lady's situation, I did not say she has to do it the way we all say. It is up to everyone if they take someone's advice or not.

 

[Eiche]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

Thank you for the replies, i have offered to go to the gp with him and the clinic but he refused too embarrassed to have the wife there i think, i only buy diet drinks and sweeteners for the house now and he does use them without a problem its just he will have a choc bar on the way to work too and another at lunch etc. I have tried telling him about the risks of blindness etc but he seems to think hes only in his 20's so it wont happen to him its infuriating really. I know he does WANT to change but just dosnt know how too, shopping for lunch for example for work hes always had say a sandwich, a yougurt,fruit and a biscuit and just dosnt know how to make substitutions or what to eat as everything seems high in sugar im just as confused with it all tbh. Or not being able to do 'normal' things like eat loads of popcorn at a movie etc he refuses to miss out.

His gp said he dosnt need to monitor bloods and it will be checked every 2 months at diabetes clinic so they wont prescribe anything.

Its hard for us both as we have always eaten a load of rubbish tbh and he has always been overweight although is significantly less than he used to be, weight and diet have always been a problem.

All this diabetes stuff can be very confusing and also scary for partners, especially when you know the complications untreated/ignored diabetes will bring, and your partner is not accepting the changes he should be making. I think it is even worse for men as they can be pretty stubborn when it comes to eating habits.

Have you tried to make his lunch instead of him doing it and making the substitutions for him? When you make sandwiches, make them with Burgen Bread or Granary Bread instead of white and add cheese and lettuce and cucumber or hard boiled egg and a low fat mayonnaise. If he insists on a biscuit for lunch, Tesco sells sugar free shortbread biscuits for 79p a packet which are carbs but not as high as other biscuits. if he wants yogurts, buy greek yogurt, it is low in fat and almost no carbs and you can add some sweetner and fresh fruit to it if he doesn't like it tart. As for chocolate, get dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate. If you surf this forum, you'd be surprised how many more treats people add on here. You'll not run out of variety

 

[NMrs2010]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

I have offered to make it but he prefers to do it just before leaving the house but if i have a better idea of what to buy in that might force him to only use whats there, so if he took say a salad sandwich, a diet yogurt, a piece of fruit and one biscuit would this be ok? he usualy has cereal in the morning then a banana mid morning lunch as above then dinner at home which is usually pasta or something tbh, im struggling with cooking main meals as im not the best of cook and old habits etc

 

[Eiche]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

Try reading in this part of the forum. There are lots of food ideas from different members here that can give you an idea of what to add to your shopping list http://www.diabetes.co.uk/diabetes-forum/viewforum.php?f=3

 

[jaykay]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

I use the BBC Good Food magazine to write out menus for the week. Always have done as it's cost efficient ( you don't buy things you don't need ) and you only have to plan once a week. Since being diagnosed, they have come in even more useful, as they have the nutritional info at the end of each recipe. I just look for the low carb ones and use those. Of course I now have over 10 years worth of magazines to choose from! :lol:

 

[Eiche]

Re: Patner not listening at all worried

I use the BBC Good Food magazine to write out menus for the week. Always have done as it's cost efficient ( you don't buy things you don't need ) and you only have to plan once a week. Since being diagnosed, they have come in even more useful, as they have the nutritional info at the end of each recipe. I just look for the low carb ones and use those. Of course I now have over 10 years worth of magazines to choose from! :lol:

Uh now that is a great idea!!! I do the weekly menu thing too, but never thought about looking for low carb recipes off the BBC Good Food ... One learns something new every day :mrgreen:

 

[adrian29459]

One point I'd like to make. I'm a type 1 diabetic, but it still should apply to type 2s. I find whenever I have high blood sugars - above 10 - my mood changes, in addition to the damage caused to your body and the ill feeling, I find I can be very aggressive, easy to upset, ignorant, stubborn and generally not a nice person to be around. This might be how your partner feels at times?

It might be worth buying a cheap blood tester from boots perhaps, to help keep an eye on before and after meal glucose readings. Also encouraging him to exercise as this will really help lower those average blood sugar levels. I hope you can get him to understand a little more.

 

[tyke120]

As a type 2 (though I'm in my 50's not my 20's) I can recognise what's going on with your partner. After diagnosis I was frightened and angry, and although I took the medication, attended the clinics, and went through the motions of treatment, I really did not accept that the possibly fatal consequences of not taking the condition seriously could apply to me; after all, I was taking the drugs so that should do the trick, right?. It was the doctor's problem, not mine. I too hardly changed my diet or increased my exercise, and my HBA1C levels kept on rising as a consequence.

What changed my mind was the result of my third retinopathy test - a slight positive. Although I had neuropathy in my feet I had got used to it, but the sudden realisation that I could go blind stopped me in my tracks. Within a few days I had been on this forum seriously researching low carb eating, and that was it. In a few weeks I had lost almost two stone, my blood sugar levels were under control, and my HBA1C had come down from 8.6 to 5.6.

Now, this is not to boast or anything. But you cannot reason a man out of a position he has not reasoned himself into; your partner has not changed his behaviour not because he's stupid but because he's frightened, angry, hoping it will all go away - he too is taking the drugs so that should be the end of it. The consequences of diabetes are largely invisible and may only happen what seems to be a long time in the future. But they will happen. How you convince him of this I don't know. Bad news did it for me, but of course that is not what we wish for anyone else. I suppose what I'm saying is that you won't change his mind - he has to change it himself. Somehow you have to lead him to a place where he can see the future, and recognise that actually he is in control of all that happens. He has to own his illness. Only when he owns it will he control and change it.

 

[NMrs2010]

Thank you for the replies, the previous post is spot on that is exactly what my husband says 'im taking my tablets so i am accepting it' he thinks thats enough and im trying to help him without trying to sound like his mum and telling him what to do, its a hard situation, i can understand the 'it wont happen to me' mind set but he didnt think he would get diabetes either and he did, ive tried telling him this but its in one ear..... If i bought him a glucose monitor (the gp wont prescribe) can i buy the blood strips too? basically can we get everything we need from a shop? i dont even know where to start tbh

 

[daisy1]

You can probably get a free meter either by entering a competition (top or bottom of pages on this forum) or by phoning manufacturers saying you will be testing at least 8 times a day - so that they will be confident you will buy lots of their strips (even if you won't always be testing that often) and they may send you a free one. Ebay is a good solution - lots of members buy their strips off there as they can't get them prescribed either. Just make sure you know the expiry date and that the package is unopened. I have also heard that Abbotts (google it) are also good and cheap. Your local pharmacy will be more expensive.