Hello, I'm sorry you're going through this as some other people have said don't be too hard on yourself. However I would find a way to rebuild your relationship with diabetes and food. As with all diabetics, it is tiring because it does need constant attention and some times life messes with our blood sugars. I did do low carb but not strictly and I can vouch for it because I didn't need to take as much insulin. I'm not against low carb however we could argue that we do need some carbohydrates to function, like exercising because we need some energy. I was wondering if you can put the word 'calories' to one side, I've ignored those numbers because it drives me crazy. it's about your mentality when it comes to food. You can portion your food, weigh it and still be within your weight goal, as long as you're feeding your body and not starving it from good nutrients. Treat yourself maybe once a week because you did well for the other 6 days. I know some people could agree with weight gain is not because of what we eat, it's because we are exceeding our calories and carbs isn't the enemy. but limiting yourself to certain amount of calories seems off putting and discouraging. As a result we end up binging.
Theres an instagrammer called workweeklunch, she just meal plans and she doesn't count calories - it is based on Intuitive Eating. She has helped me ignore the "diet craze", I know low carb works for people and I'd give them the biggest hug but I love food too much. It's a way to discipline yourself as well.
I apologise if it doesn't sound helpful