Well thought I would ask for some support. You're all such a good bunch on here when I have my head out of the sand and I want to communicate with like-minded people. Last August I did the 800 cal a day low carb diet, like everything in my life I went all or nothing at it and I went all at this, my HBA1C was really high and I was terrified so this was the lifestyle that would fix me and it did for a few months, I lost weight came off Metformin as my blood was fab and I was testing at least 7 times a day. This was it, this was the way forward............... or so I thought. I think it all crashed down when I started to crave for foods I missed, see I am a massive choco and cake-a-holic and I am also a sugar addict. That and diabetes don't mix at all. Once I fell off the low carb wagon I just couldn't get back on it. I kept trying but I had no motivation and I was gorging on all the bad stuff worse than I ever had. I didn't test my blood for months and months. I pretty much ignored my diabetes. I got called back to the doctors at the end of December and my blood was actually still not too bad and my cholesterol was high, I promised in the new year I would control it all by diet.... but, again, I didn't. Head back in the sand. I have just had an amazing two weeks in the Carribean but I had put on two stone so felt fat the whole time, forgot to take my metformin most days and ate all the carbs I could see as I don't eat a lot of meat so not a lot of other stuff I could eat. I love scuba diving so did some diving out there and last Monday I had horrendous pain in my ear coming up followed by an ear infection I think, or at least horrendous ear pain. My ear worsened and today I had to visit the hospital as I was referred by my doctor who is now sending me for a CT scan as soon as he found out I was diabetic and he couldn't see an infection. This has worried me. I decided to diet on my return from holiday last Thursday and I did my blood sugar, it was 15 fasting in the morning and it scared me, so much that since I have been on a low carb diet and I have been testing (I got it down to 9 earlier . My partner is so supportive of me, he has said we will do this together but then I just flipped out at him for eating a bacon sandwich earlier, I think I am out of order but I just find this low carb way of life so hard. I am going to the doctors on Wednesday to see if they will medicate me further. I don't know what the best thing for me is. ~I am on the max metformin now. I am worried if I eat low carb I will binge and stick my head in the sand again as denying myself what I love doesn't work. I feel so ****** sometimes that I am diabetic and I want to ignore it. At the same time, it terrifies me. Sorry for waffling on I just needed to speak to someone who understands, as not many people do.