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Self Pity

Discussion in 'Newly Diagnosed' started by GenBomaYE, Jun 22, 2019.

  1. GenBomaYE

    GenBomaYE Type 2 · Member

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    Hello,

    Recently diagnosed last month and must say doing pretty **** well controlling my BG. I know self pity is not a good thing but i cant help it. Like when i see my friends in uni without any worry about what they eat and stuff i cant help but pity myself. I want to move past it but i don't know how it keeps coming back, I kind of know it will get better with time but this is really annoying. This is more like a rant its just that i want to do stuff without having to be reminded that i have fallen prey to this condition. It really sucks to explain to my friends that i am diabetic and should limit/avoid carbs and stuff. Finding it really hard to enjoy stuff i used to before my diagnosis.

    Edited by moderator for language
     
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    #1 GenBomaYE, Jun 22, 2019 at 8:28 AM
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2019
  2. Daphne917

    Daphne917 Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    @GenBomaYE it’s not self pity at all but more of a realisation that this is your new of eating. I also liken it to a form of bereavement for the lifestyle you used to have. However you could look at it another way and, whilst your friends are tucking into their high carb meals and snacks and storing up possible problems in the future, think about how much healthier your diet is and, because you have found out that you have diabetes, you can act now to ward off any complications. As you test your BS you may find that you can tolerate some higher carb foods which you can eat on occasions. I tend to do this when I’m on holiday or for family get togethers with no adverse effect on my BS controls and I have no difficulty getting back to low carb.
     
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  3. urbanracer

    urbanracer Type 1 · Moderator
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    Surely it's all about your point of view?

    Why feel self pity for wanting to be healthy? Why feel self pity for having a diet that keeps you healthy?

    Statistically, at least some of your friends are storing up problems for the future, but you're ahead of the game. Feel pity for your friends and their high glucose levels that they don't know about (yet). No need to feel pity for yourself.
     
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  4. Brunneria

    Brunneria Other · Moderator
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    Have a read of this link
    https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/
    It applies just as much to someone with a life-altering diagnosis, as for someone experiencing a bereavement.
    We all go through the stages, as part of the process, but because we are all different, each of us goes through them at different speeds, or gets stuck, or in a different order. It is perfectly normal to feel everything we feel. :)
     
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  5. Marie 2

    Marie 2 LADA · Well-Known Member

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    I can see feeling sad and resentful, especially since you are young. It's a time when a lot of people get away with staying up late and partying.

    But all that said, it's just the way it is. You know? Why is someone born with anything, it's not fair, one of the things you will learn is that life isn't fair. You're not the only one and at least hopefully you knew before you got really sick and really that's a blessing.

    You got to try to be positive about it! And just get on with it.
     
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  6. Caeseji

    Caeseji Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Trust me, been there, done that, bought the T-shirt and still wearing it at times. We don’t know what the future holds really do we? There’s so many horror stories out there but not much about the people that really did turn it around at a young age. Yes people like us have a longer time to live with it but we also have a longer time to both recover and heal so it’s going to be a rough ride looking at others but you know what? Find new aspects to enjoy, with and without your friends. Eat to fuel yourself and find tasty things to eat and your friends will understand, heck with my own I’m laughing and joking about my condition half the time! They never know if they are becoming insulin resistant either, just because they don’t show it on the outside doesn’t mean it isn’t playing havoc on the inside too. You’re doing your best and giving yourself hope and health for the future and that’s what is important. I just hope that things do get better for you down the line and always feel free to come here to let it out.
     
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  7. carty

    carty Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I think that most of us at one time or another has said "Why me " (ITS NOT FAIR !!!!!)
    I know I have .You sound to be doing well and that is all that we can do under the circumstances So don't beat yourself up about it just do what you are doing and be proud of yourself )Hug(
    Carol
     
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  8. JAT1

    JAT1 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Take an honest look at all the children and adults who are worse off than you to gain perspective.
     
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  9. lucylocket61

    lucylocket61 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Its not self pity. Its a normal reaction to a life altering diagnosis. Give yourself time to react, reflect and get used to the idea. This modern way of feeling like we have to move on within hours of a major life event is not good or healthy for us long term. Give yourself time to go through the grieving process. Be kind to yourself and your feelings. Its not a competition to be the most stoic, or deny the impact such diagnosis can have on us. Its called being human.

    Yes, there are those who are worse off than us, but right now, its a lot to take in and deal with. Recognizing you are going through a grieving process, and its OK to go through it, and its not self pity or disproportionate to feel like your world has shifted, is part of the path to acceptance and moving on. Best wishes to you.
     
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  10. JoKalsbeek

    JoKalsbeek Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    It's grief, not self-pity. Comes with a life-altering diagnosis, sadly. @Brunneria's link is a good one, and we've practically all been there. Perks of T2: you can eat more bacon than your friends are used to. ;) I haven't had a pizza in years, but I've tossed that sort of topping onto an omelet. You find work-arounds. Even when you're out with friends, you can adjust menu's to suit you. No salad? Get a bunless burger and double up on the extra's. (Bacon, lettuce, tomato, mushrooms, onion, eggs...).

    It is an adjustment and the things you used to enjoy aren't the same, right now. But it'll come back. I actually enjoy food more now that my palette's adjusted to non-sugary items. When I was first diagnosed I hauled my own food with me everywhere because I was afraid of eating out, or only went out for short whiles so i could eat at home. Now I do it a couple of times a week (usually lunch when we're out on the weekend). Once you get a knack for it, it'll be alright. And your friends will understand. I mean, my husband, or people I sometimes "do lunch" with, are happy to have the cookies served with my coffee and tea, they get my fries or bread if they want it, or I tell the kitchen to hold it, but.... It works. (And no-one I know has ever declined the extra cookie!).

    It takes a little getting used to, no doubt... And this will weigh heavy on your heart for a while. It's normal, and not something you should kick yourself around over. Your feelings are valid. Just saying, it'll get better eventually.
    Hugs,
    Jo
     
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  11. Pinkorchid

    Pinkorchid Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Yes it is tough being diagnosed with diabetes when young but does not mean you have to be so different to your friends You can still do everything you did together before diabetes that does not change and will not stop you doing whatever you enjoyed doing The only difference now is what you eat when you eat out you can still go to whatever places that students do go to all it will mean to your friends is that you are having a low carb option not unusual for lots of people now not just diabetics it is no big deal. Burger King will be happy to serve you a burger without the bun and salad instead of chips same with McDonalds, Nando's is good because it is grilled chicken just leave out the chips have salad or one of the low carb sides. I used to only eat the topping on pizza's and leave the base because I didn't like it and that was before I had diabetes my friends thought that was strange ..my daughters friend who was a vegetarian would go into McDonalds and ask for a Big Mac without the burger they would be a bit puzzled because vegetarians did not usually go in there but she got the bun with just salad .Having diabetes does not mean you change as a person and can never enjoy yourself or eat out again food does not make you different we all have our food choices diabetic or not. You say you find it hard telling friends you have diabetes would you find it hard telling them if you had decided to become a vegetarian or vegan I don't think you would diabetes is no different it does not change the friend you are Enjoy your student days they go to soon then you have to become a responsible adult
     
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