Sick of it all

[johnpol]

Does anyone else just get sick of all the work you have to put in to your diabetes???? I don't know what is the matter, but at the minute I am truly sick of it!!. I have been experiencing some high blood sugars at the moment (been going on for two weeks) for what I can tell is unexplained as I routinely eat the same foods (learned what works for me and try to stick to it) but because there's a day in the week, I'm high before I eat, after I eat, at rest, after training, just bloody high!!!
I have just had enough of it, had a difficult two years ,Minor stroke, lost my mother (which had a HUGE impact on my control), emergency laser treatment for retinopathy, which scared me even more than having the stroke to be honest. Finally thought I had a grip on it, put all the work in again and reduced my HB1AC down, have lost a bit of weight and even went back to competing in powerlifting after a few years away. But these last few months has been a grind, had enough, stick a fork in me I'm done. don't get me wrong I will always try my best(its the way I am) but I think after over 22yrs I have experienced "Burn Out", just feel like the diabetes is controlling me and not the other way around, like I always thought I controlled it.
Does anyone else feel like this??? is it just a case of carrying on and I will get over this??
Sorry for the rant, I cant tell my wife as she has had a lot of health worries of her own this year (never ending with us bless her) so I don't want to worry her with my feeling sorry for myself

 

[novorapidboi26]

Sorry to her you're having a hard time......

Just wanted to ask, with your eye issues and laser..........have you not been told that activities like power lifting is not suitable anymore....also with a stroke.....

unfortunately the human body and all its hormones can just go out of wack from time to time and this results in all the rules that we have worked tirelessly to build on go out the window......but just ride it out if you can....

I've been having unexplained highs all this week and don't know why....its starting to get to me too.....but i am confident of coming out the other end....

 

[johnpol]

Sorry to her you're having a hard time......

Just wanted to ask, with your eye issues and laser..........have you not been told that activities like power lifting is not suitable anymore....also with a stroke.....

unfortunately the human body and all its hormones can just go out of wack from time to time and this results in all the rules that we have worked tirelessly to build on go out the window......but just ride it out if you can....

I've been having unexplained highs all this week and don't know why....its starting to get to me too.....but i am confident of coming out the other end....

I was told that after my stroke I could "train" but I don't think they meant for me to start it again, the heavyish lifting, have not been told anything about my eyes, but I do have a consultation with the consultant in January, hopefully they will answer my concerns regarding my eyes, I have cataract surgery planned for next year as well.

 

[Diakat]

Just keep to the basics for now, test and treat. If you are burnt out don't spend forever thinking about it, just test, correct and move on. When you are ready you can analyse again, have you got a DSN to talk to?

 

[Juicyj]

Hey @johnpol Am only almost 6 years in here - but I totally feel your pain.. I think you will get alot of hugs from members here because at some point one or another of us has experienced exactly what you are feeling. My philosophy when you lose control is to go back to basics, so record all your daily carb/insulin and readings, get on the phone to your DSN or consultant and tell them what's going on, at least to get some support, and to do some basal testing: http://www.salforddiabetescare.co.uk/index2.php?nav_id=1007

Sadly the pain about living with t1 is that when things are not going your way that you need to put extra effort in to try and get control back, however it will come right so try not to let it get you down too much, best wishes J

 

[ickihun]

@johnpol welcome to your support here.
I know I'm not a type1 but I'm on insulin and meds with a burn out in 2014 which encouraged my new diabetes team to monitor me heavily until I had fermented my new diabetes management.
I have a great gp and endocrologist team so I have had some great support.
However daily support from here has supported their backbone of my care.

What is your team doing to help?

I'm sure some type1s will be along shortly to give you more customised support.
We are pleased and honored to have you join the forum.

Ask any niggles along the way can freshen up your diabetic fighting mind. Of course its a fight but maybe grab some tips from other type1s to run with for a while?

 

[johnpol]

Just keep to the basics for now, test and treat. If you are burnt out don't spend forever thinking about it, just test, correct and move on. When you are ready you can analyse again, have you got a DSN to talk to?

I do have a DSN but to get to talk to them sometimes is like winning the lottery!!! I am testing and correcting as I go as its all I know, I seem to be "trained" to not test, if you know what I mean? I am trying to get a call back from the DSN but I understand how difficult it is with the Christmas break coming up.

 

[Juicyj]

I do have a DSN but to get to talk to them sometimes is like winning the lottery!!! I am testing and correcting as I go as its all I know, I seem to be "trained" to not test, if you know what I mean? I am trying to get a call back from the DSN but I understand how difficult it is with the Christmas break coming up.

I think you need to explain the urgency of this to your team so you get someone to call you - again another pain when things are going your way is that you have to shout really loudly for help, they should prioritise you.

 

[johnpol]

I think you need to explain the urgency of this to your team so you get someone to call you - again another pain when things are going your way is that you have to shout really loudly for help, they should prioritise you.

I'm going to tell them, unfortunately for me asking for help is something I tend not to do, as I feel like I'm bothering people and I just get on with it, but for some reason I'm finding this struggle, which we all experience at some point on our journey, very difficult to deal with. Mind it doesn't help when the person you thought was your best friend tells you that they "don't care" about your diabetes, it fairly knocks you sideways. I would normally say to people like that "you try and live with it, and see how long you last before crying for help".
sorry for going on

 

[dogslife]

Does anyone else just get sick of all the work you have to put in to your diabetes???? I don't know what is the matter, but at the minute I am truly sick of it!!. I have been experiencing some high blood sugars at the moment (been going on for two weeks) for what I can tell is unexplained as I routinely eat the same foods (learned what works for me and try to stick to it) but because there's a day in the week, I'm high before I eat, after I eat, at rest, after training, just bloody high!!!
I have just had enough of it, had a difficult two years ,Minor stroke, lost my mother (which had a HUGE impact on my control), emergency laser treatment for retinopathy, which scared me even more than having the stroke to be honest. Finally thought I had a grip on it, put all the work in again and reduced my HB1AC down, have lost a bit of weight and even went back to competing in powerlifting after a few years away. But these last few months has been a grind, had enough, stick a fork in me I'm done. don't get me wrong I will always try my best(its the way I am) but I think after over 22yrs I have experienced "Burn Out", just feel like the diabetes is controlling me and not the other way around, like I always thought I controlled it.
Does anyone else feel like this??? is it just a case of carrying on and I will get over this??
Sorry for the rant, I cant tell my wife as she has had a lot of health worries of her own this year (never ending with us bless her) so I don't want to worry her with my feeling sorry for myself

Hi johnpol. It's always tough and frustrating when you feel you are fighting alone no matter how strong and independent you usually are, especially if you are like me and feel the need to be always in control. Sometimes, however, we all need a bit of help and you have done the right thing coming to the forum. Have you discussed your situation with your diabetic nurse/team recently? Maybe they can offer medical advice/ help? I hope life starts treating you better soon.

 

[Juicyj]

I'm going to tell them, unfortunately for me asking for help is something I tend not to do, as I feel like I'm bothering people and I just get on with it, but for some reason I'm finding this struggle, which we all experience at some point on our journey, very difficult to deal with. Mind it doesn't help when the person you thought was your best friend tells you that they "don't care" about your diabetes, it fairly knocks you sideways. I would normally say to people like that "you try and live with it, and see how long you last before crying for help".
sorry for going on

I know it's hard for you to ask for help, but the fact you are on this forum discussing it means that you really do need some support, don't get fobbed on, be a pest and get some help. Not sure what your best friend was thinking but that was a completely thoughtless comment to make, without knowing you personally you sound like someone who doesn't moan or complain and the fact you said something and was dismissed is pretty heartless. Your best friend needs a wide berth for a while.. We are your friends and trust us that we 'get it' - get on the phone now and speak to your team also include the fact you need someone to speak to you asap before Christmas, they should be able to do something.

 

[Gabrielle_Tai]

I'm going to tell them, unfortunately for me asking for help is something I tend not to do, as I feel like I'm bothering people and I just get on with it, but for some reason I'm finding this struggle, which we all experience at some point on our journey, very difficult to deal with. Mind it doesn't help when the person you thought was your best friend tells you that they "don't care" about your diabetes, it fairly knocks you sideways. I would normally say to people like that "you try and live with it, and see how long you last before crying for help".
sorry for going on

I understand your suffering, most of my friends also do not understand about us. I blame it on public education and the misunderstanding than diabetes is just an annoying disease. Just be strong and one day there will be a silver lining.

 

[ickihun]

I'm going to tell them, unfortunately for me asking for help is something I tend not to do, as I feel like I'm bothering people and I just get on with it, but for some reason I'm finding this struggle, which we all experience at some point on our journey, very difficult to deal with. Mind it doesn't help when the person you thought was your best friend tells you that they "don't care" about your diabetes, it fairly knocks you sideways. I would normally say to people like that "you try and live with it, and see how long you last before crying for help".
sorry for going on

You're not going on. Shame on your best friend for not seeing your stressed about your diabetes.
I think only other diabetics really get it you know. Well in my personal circle anyway.
Tell friend this is stressing you at mo but won't always be like this. I think my other half likes a none diabetic home but unfortunately it isn't.
Don't apologise for who you are, ever!

I get a nudge now and again from hubby as I can spend a few hours on here but now he has his own on-line forums and interests it takes the pressure off. Hence why they all got tablets and phones this christmas. Ha ha

Just enjoy this forum and just remember not everyone will agree with everything you believe but at least most know your difficult journey.

 

[mytype1.life]

I’ve definitely felt like this before. No need to apologise as you have done the right thing by explaining how you are feeling.

I hope you find the support you need from the forum.
Unfortunately non-diabetic people will never ever understand, some may try but even then sometimes it’s not enough.

My main advice would be take a day at a time as it can all be too overwhelming and frustrating to deal with in one go.

I like the advice above re: going back to basics. Test so you can identify trends then take a closer look. And don’t be hard on yourself if actually there isn’t a trend! I’ve had some bad weeks where I run high and just can’t put my find on it at the time but looking back I’ve realised it could have been stress/burnout/illness.

 

[Diakat]

You won't be bothering them. It's their job to help.

 

[Geminigirl]

I totally understand and I hope you will feel a bit better soon. I also have days where I have truly had enough of it. I think living with any life long condition is very wearing and the low points can be very low.
You are not on your own with that to be sure but I have also found members on here to be very reassuring and of course they "totally get it" as we are all in the same boat.
Take care.
Chris. X

 

[karen8967]

Does anyone else just get sick of all the work you have to put in to your diabetes???? I don't know what is the matter, but at the minute I am truly sick of it!!. I have been experiencing some high blood sugars at the moment (been going on for two weeks) for what I can tell is unexplained as I routinely eat the same foods (learned what works for me and try to stick to it) but because there's a day in the week, I'm high before I eat, after I eat, at rest, after training, just bloody high!!!
I have just had enough of it, had a difficult two years ,Minor stroke, lost my mother (which had a HUGE impact on my control), emergency laser treatment for retinopathy, which scared me even more than having the stroke to be honest. Finally thought I had a grip on it, put all the work in again and reduced my HB1AC down, have lost a bit of weight and even went back to competing in powerlifting after a few years away. But these last few months has been a grind, had enough, stick a fork in me I'm done. don't get me wrong I will always try my best(its the way I am) but I think after over 22yrs I have experienced "Burn Out", just feel like the diabetes is controlling me and not the other way around, like I always thought I controlled it.
Does anyone else feel like this??? is it just a case of carrying on and I will get over this??
Sorry for the rant, I cant tell my wife as she has had a lot of health worries of her own this year (never ending with us bless her) so I don't want to worry her with my feeling sorry for myself

Sending big hugs

 

[karen8967]

Sorry to her you're having a hard time......

Just wanted to ask, with your eye issues and laser..........have you not been told that activities like power lifting is not suitable anymore....also with a stroke.....

unfortunately the human body and all its hormones can just go out of wack from time to time and this results in all the rules that we have worked tirelessly to build on go out the window......but just ride it out if you can....

I've been having unexplained highs all this week and don't know why....its starting to get to me too.....but i am confident of coming out the other end....

Me too must be something in the water

 

[leahkian]

Johnpol i do not no 1 diabetic that has said they never been sick of diabetes because the slightest thing can make you BS go all over. We have a constant changing disease that you think you have cracked it but then for no reason your BS are up and down and you try to correct by altering the amount of insulin you take, as far as your DNS goes she is your link between you and the doctors and they are there to help you so asking for help is o.k. Have you been under any stress either yourself or because of your wife's problems because stress can cause BS to be erratic and it could explain your sugar levels but the main thing is to stress how important it is for you to speak with the DNS. After 36 years of diabetes i still get sick of it all and will do again but what else can we do, the problem is that looking at us we look fine but inside we are in a living hell as we do not no what is going to happen next.

 

[lindijanice]

Hi @johnpol, Sending blessings and hugs your way. Sorry to hear you are having such a tough go right now...Obviously I don't know what kind of relationship you and your wife have, but I am guessing it is close - you have traveled a hard road together.....maybe some of the stress you are experiencing is feeling you can't let her know what you are going through right now. I would imagine she senses something but maybe waiting for you to initiate that conversation? The Hubby and I have been married 45 years and I can't get away with hiding too much from him and the other way around! Sometimes all I need to say is I hate being burdened with diabetes - worse than the three cancers I had - and he just agrees and I start to feel a bit better.(Sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me, just an example from an old gal who dearly loves her old guy!) So, maybe having a sit down with your wife would be a good starting point....?Blessings/L