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Struggling

Discussion in 'Type 1 Diabetes' started by T1DM17, Apr 8, 2017.

  1. T1DM17

    T1DM17 Type 1 · Member

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    Thank you :), just sick of feeling like my best isn't good enough. I had a hypo at work today, so I ended up running half an hour late (I'm a practice nurse) while I threw some jelly babies back. Haven't had any bother at work for ages so people were asking me if I was alright and what had gone wrong. I'm like, "I'm fine, my BG dropped a bit but I've sorted it out, it happens".

    Like I said before, people's attitudes are the most difficult part for me. My brother-in-law's wife told me that I'm always going to have hypos and that puts my child at risk so she questions my ability to be a good mother! You spend ages trying to build yourself up and have confidence that you can have well controlled BG and be a good parent and then someone fairly close knocks you down with their ignorance!

    I wish there was a way to make people understand better, but unfortunately, they're not usually that interested to begin with lol
     
    • Hug Hug x 5
  2. Diakat

    Diakat Type 1 · Expert
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    Your little one looks very happy in the pic. Your SIL is an idiot if she thinks us t1s can't be decent parents. And with luck our kids will be more sympathetic to any future diabetics...
     
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  3. T1DM17

    T1DM17 Type 1 · Member

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    Thank you! :) He's always smiling and I'm sure he thinks I'm doing a good job, and I know that's all that matters. I really hope my Jacob grows up to be more understanding than most when it comes to diabetes, you never know, one day it might be one of our children who gets involved with a long awaited cure! :)
     
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  4. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Expert
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    Hi @T1DM17 Please never ever let anyone question your ability to be a good mum, the very fact they have done this is completely wrong, no one should ever do this, I am a mum too and would feel so upset if anyone ever questioned my abilities, personally I would shut them out of my life. I put my job as a mum over and above everything else in my life and at times I put this before my type 1, having hypos is inevitable but children learn quickly to sit still and wait, I always get a cuddle off my daughter when I have a hypo, they will always happen. You know you are in fact a super mum because you have t1 and your a mum, ignore these comments your are much more than she could ever be ;)
     
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  5. TheBigNewt

    TheBigNewt Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Were you less hypo when you used the CGM? I realize you probably used Libre, which we don't have access to here. Here most use Dexcom, which will alert you via cellphone when your sugar goes below 4.0 which is great. Any way you can get one of those? Do you think it would help? Sounds like it would to me. From what you say, it's the lows that are a big problem for you. That's when all the drama the the trauma happens right? If you can't get a Dexcom, back off the boluses, maybe reduce the basal, eat a sandwich. I used to get low a LOT more because I was afraid of complications, of being high. Well I've had it for 32 yrs, no complications, so I must be doing something right. When I get low is when things go wrong. So I decided some time ago to quit doing it as much as I could. And it's way better according to my wife, who was the one who had to deal with most of it. So give it a go gal!
     
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    #25 TheBigNewt, Apr 10, 2017 at 11:50 PM
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2017
  6. T1DM17

    T1DM17 Type 1 · Member

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    Thank you, I have tried to distance myself from her, but we have a family dinner every Sunday and she makes a point of trying to speak to me, she will never apologise though, and I just can't get past it, not at the moment anyway. Difficult when my husband "can't understand why I'm still upset about it".

    I was given a Medtronic Guardian2 Link CGM. From what I've read, the Libre only test when you scan it, whereas the Guardian tests every 5 minutes and alerts you if you BG is rising or falling rapidly. I keep playing about with the pump settings but sometimes the slightest adjustment can make a huge difference and cause problems :(, I feel sick if my BG goes above 15mmol/l and of course, hypo if I go below 4mmol/l. Have to keep fairly tight control because I am wanting to have another baby in the next year or two. The readings in pregnancy are so tight, before meals has to be 3.5-5.6, 1 hour later should be less than 7.8, and 2 hours later less than 6.8. And they expect you not to have hypos?! LMAO
     
  7. azure

    azure Type 1 · Expert

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    @T1DM17 Dont let your BIL's wife get away with that! There are plenty of non-diabetics who think they know about diabetes and actually know nothing at all.

    Either she's being unwittingly insensitive or she's thriving on having a dig at you. Don't let her. Next time she says that having hypos is inevitable and you're a bad mum or whatever **** she's saying, laugh out loud and loudly correct her, but with a friendly smile and say something like "Haha! I think you've been watching too many soaps! You've got that completely wrong haha!"

    It sounds like she's bullying you in a way, and the only way to,stop bullies is to stand up to them. I think you'll find she stops once she sees that you're not going to be made to feel bad or have your ability questioned like that.
     
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  8. T1DM17

    T1DM17 Type 1 · Member

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    She is a bully, the poor BIL is really under the thumb! I think the rest of the family just want to have an easy life and can't be doing with the hassle of a fall out. My hubby has never really liked her because of the way she seems to control his brother, but I never really knew how awful she could be until recently. I know I'm still grieving too, so I'm probably not as forgiving as I usually am, but am just so furious with her attitude, not just about the diabetes!
     
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  9. azure

    azure Type 1 · Expert

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    Bullies are actually a lot weaker than you'd imagine. Stand up to her (politely/with humour). You may find other family members are secretly pleased that you've done so.
     
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  10. slip

    slip Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Just to point out the Libre does a 'blood' test every 5 mins too, only you get to see the current reading and the past 8hrs when you 'flash'/scan the sensor - I'd ask your clinic if they have any FOC for trial, no harm in asking and if not, look at buying one, they are so helpful and worth the money in my opinion.

    You BIL's wife sounds like a right horror - Bullies are usually compensating for something they're missing or can't have.

    We as T1Ds are inherently stronger than T0s, simply because we have to be!
     
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  11. T1DM17

    T1DM17 Type 1 · Member

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    Thanks, I'll have a chat with the DSN about the Libre :).
    Wish she'd directed her frustrations at something else that day instead of me, been hard work trying to bring myself back up, but I'm getting there :)
     
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  12. EllsKBells

    EllsKBells Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    She does sound awful! I would actually argue that a T1 is a better parent for it, because you have to be so much more aware of what is going on with your body, which means that you can be more prepared. I think you are totally right, if your little boy is happy then that is all anybody can ask for. Some people just enjoy causing grief, and she definitely sounds like one of them.
     
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  13. TheBigNewt

    TheBigNewt Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Does the Medtronic CGM ring your phone at night if you get close to low? To me that is the prime difference between the Libre (which does not) and the Dexcom which does do that. It alerts the wearer before they get into trouble so they can avoid it.
     
  14. T1DM17

    T1DM17 Type 1 · Member

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    No, it doesn't ring your phone, if your BG goes too low then it automatically suspends the pump and restarts when it's reached a more stable level. It also makes the pump beep and vibrate to alert you to high and low readings.
     
  15. catapillar

    catapillar Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Dexcom doesn't "ring your phone" to alert you if anything. If you have a dexcom G5 and an iPhone you can download an app to receive your readings and alarm - the alarm is not anyone or anything ringing your phone. It's just an alarm.

    Any continuous glucose monitor will alert at high or low. The libre does not because it isn't a cgm, it's a flash glucose monitor.

    The guardian cgm with the medtronic 640 pump is a semi-closed loop pump. If the cgm thinks you are going to drop low it will tell the pump to suspend insulin delivery before you drop low.
     
  16. Humma

    Humma Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Never feel ashamed or apologise to anyone for doing your best to stay alive...........50 years ive been at it
     
  17. Hannah11688

    Hannah11688 Type 1 · Member

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    Hi.

    I'm only recently diagnosed as type 1 in the last 3 months. I feel all your frustrations. I spent 2 months very much with the attitude of I've totally got this to having spent the last month going oh poop I really don't got this. Stressing because I've had a high reading. Then stressing because I shouldn't be stressing. Being new I've had so many hypos. Luckily my mum just looks at me and says are you OK, to which I normally reply with a yes then no. My lowest being a 1.5 and passing out in the car (passenger) as I waited for my daughter to come out of school. I remember thinking she deserves better than a mum who can't even pick her up from school. I was so ashamed of how I would have been perceived by other parents as well as embarrassed. However I showed up the next day, with a smile and reminded myself that I'm lucky that I get to do that school run. Initially my first 2 hypos, she freaked a bit understandably but since she's taking it all on board. I regularly go through with her what to do if she can't wake me up. She knows how to do test my sugars, if low she knows to administer sugar water etc/or ring grandma. As your little boy grows he will have an amazing understanding of what it's like for you. If people ask me about my diabetes I always explain it as not being able to eat anything without it having a consequence on my BM. As well as stress and illness. It's hard so crazy hard and you've had to live with it a hell of a lot longer than I have. So I hear your frustrations. I also don't know anyone with type1 it can be lonely if people don't understand. I've found health professionals really hard. They've been so lovely but if they aren't dealing with it themselves then all they have is the knowledge of books which is completely different to personal experience. I recently turned to a friend who has been diabetic for over 20 years as I just felt I didn't get what I needed from my dn. The downside she lives 200 miles away but I least I could reach out for a bit of advice. Your doing amazing x
     
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  18. Stadm3

    Stadm3 Type 1 · Member

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    Hi there. I absolutely understand everything you've said in your post! It's not the big things but the daily grind that drags you down. I have T1, I was diagnosed at 7 and I'm 38 now. I made it through my pregnancy successfully, and I'm so thankful I did. My daughter was absolutely worth every blood test and each extra injection. However, I also sat in rooms with professionals telling you not to be so strict and to loosen up a bit. This was especially hard through pregnancy. Despite the tightest control of my entire time with diabetes, she still developed macrosomia (over growth) and was born a fortnight early at 10lbs 7oz and is still much bigger than all of her peers nearly 5 years on. The guilt I feel is something else but there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

    I'm also embarrassed and ashamed having a hypo and hate to draw attention to it, asking for a programme be paused whilst I pop in to the kitchen to test my blood, and shovel jelly babies and lemon curd or jam in by the spoonful like the end is nigh. Yes, I know, we should be measured in our response and over treatment can result in a high, but which diabetic doesn't know that feeling of survival instinct kicking in and just cramming it in when your blood sugar is dropping and your sight has changed (dimmed/gone over sensitive to light/blurry) because it's dropping more quickly that would be tolerable under any other circumstance. Let's not even go in to having a hypo at work, or worse in a meeting, where I've taken to leaving my jelly babies in my open handbag next to my seat. They've stopped asking what I'm doing now when I help myself as someone is talking (sometimes, that someone is me!!) as I'm so fed up of pretending I can do this without any slight amendments to the working day in comparison to someone without diabetes.

    So, yes, I get it, I do! I've gone on and on, my point is, you're not alone.

    On one high, one of my favourite 'diabetic' moments was when I went in to a consultants appointment before it was routinely treated in the community and he handed my blood test book back and said 'I'm not the expert in this room, you are. Tell me when you think we should do?' Very vey liberating!!
     
    #38 Stadm3, Apr 17, 2017 at 5:53 PM
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2017
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