Struggling

[JLowes]

I have had Type 1 Diabetes since 1968/69. Things were a lot different then. Weighing everything, not allowed to eat many things, using wee and water with clinitest tablets to check sugar levels and many negative feelings about having Diabetes. 53 years I have struggled thinking that I could just ignore my condition. After many many serious issues with h my health which included heart bypass surgery and now being 63 I am thinking more about what I should have done and blame myself for not taking this condition seriously. I thought I could just be like everyone else but back then I should have taken more care. I am a very strong willed person and I think this had a detrimental effect on my health. I am angry at the help people get now, even though more is know about Diabetes now. I can not move on from the issues I faced when first diagnosed such as being stuck on a dinner table, in senior school, on my own with the dinner lady plonking my lunch on table and stating that I had to finish it all as she stood over me to watch me eat. I understand that my life expectancy is reduced if I do not get control but it is so hard I am even thinking about hypnosis. The diabetes nurse has said that I am not alone with this but it is not talked about. There is mainly positive things advertised about Diabetes bit what about the negatives some of us have faced for years. I need to move forward and this is a way of doing it as I have hidden my condition for most of my life.

 

[Juicyj]

Hello @JLowes

I really don't think there is any room for guilt with managing type 1, and what happened before has gone, you can't turn back time or ruminate over what if's. To some degree you have just got to let it go, before you can even start to move forward just have to let the past go, and then start with being more kind to yourself and forgiving yourself for being so hard on yourself. We all go through our own unique journeys with this condition, it may be a physical condition but it's controlled by our own minds and emotions, and if we're not in a good place, we're not going to do the best for ourselves, it wasn't your fault you got t1 but we can feel like it was and that any issues we can attached to having it will be in turn our fault, that's completely wrong, having t1 to me is like driving a car but not being able to see where we are going, we are given instruction and hope we will arrive at the intended destination.

My view is that each day is a new day with t1, if I had a bad day/week, I just let it go and start with the intention to do my best, whether it's checking my levels more often or eating low carb, going for a walk/run, whatever I know will help me achieve a better outcome each day I strive towards.

Falling into bad ways is like adding to the already present mental burden and loading yourself up with more weight, try and find ways to achieve a better outcome each day, but take small/baby steps, just do one thing a day that will help you achieve a better outcome and write it down, whatever it is, add to it and in time the small steps will count towards bigger and better ones. Also see if you can find a friend who understands but doesn't judge, sharing your thoughts does help when done in a positive supportive way, happy to chat via pm

 

[JLowes]

Thank you for your reply. It's just so hard after 53 years of not looking after myself and carrying on it is ingrained and so hard to get out of it

 

[Smiler99]

I have had Type 1 Diabetes since 1968/69. Things were a lot different then. Weighing everything, not allowed to eat many things, using wee and water with clinitest tablets to check sugar levels and many negative feelings about having Diabetes. 53 years I have struggled thinking that I could just ignore my condition. After many many serious issues with h my health which included heart bypass surgery and now being 63 I am thinking more about what I should have done and blame myself for not taking this condition seriously. I thought I could just be like everyone else but back then I should have taken more care. I am a very strong willed person and I think this had a detrimental effect on my health. I am angry at the help people get now, even though more is know about Diabetes now. I can not move on from the issues I faced when first diagnosed such as being stuck on a dinner table, in senior school, on my own with the dinner lady plonking my lunch on table and stating that I had to finish it all as she stood over me to watch me eat. I understand that my life expectancy is reduced if I do not get control but it is so hard I am even thinking about hypnosis. The diabetes nurse has said that I am not alone with this but it is not talked about. There is mainly positive things advertised about Diabetes bit what about the negatives some of us have faced for years. I need to move forward and this is a way of doing it as I have hidden my condition for most of my life.

Maybe you need to talk to someone about how you feel someone to help you move forward