Type 1 Binge eating disorder

Hi all,

I've found myself in a bit of a dark place recently surrounding my type 1 and ED, I just need a safe place to vent with people who understand, I hope that is okay.

I've been type 1 for 17 years, I'm now 27. By hba1c has been up and down over the years, slightly above target a lot of the time but never much cause for concern. As of yet (touch wood) I have got away with any complications as a result of my diabetes, only background retinopathy.

I was always an overweight child (apart from the months surrounding my diagnosis!) and for as long as I can remember I've been trying to lose weight. This is something I'm still battling with now and have been going round and round in circles with various slimming clubs.

Over the past 10 years I would say I've had very disordered eating - as yet unofficially diagnosed but have spoke openly to GP, DSN, diabetes psychologist and consultant about this topic. I can go weeks religiously carb counting and staying within range by eating well, but there are periods (currently on week 4) where I just don't care what I eat. I binge and binge and inject and inject. Sugars this week hit 25 and it was a real shock to my system but not enough to kick me out-of this horrible cycle.

I've got an appointment in a few days with my DSN so will talk to her about this,but just feel so alone and helpless and don't know what to do.

I know I am in control of what I do and what I eat, and I'm bloody frustrated with myself for not just pulling myself together, but having been diagnosed with depression I know it's not as simple as that!

Thank you so much for reading, I'm not sure what I expect from this post, I suppose to just be reassured I'm not alone!

 

Thank you! I've recently moved house so changed hospitals etc and finding the care in this area so much better!
Plus I've met this DSN briefly before so one less thing to feel anxious about I suppose!

 

Thank you for your reply,

I've been on a 'unhelpful eating behaviours' course a year or so ago which was helpful to some extent but of course wasn't tailored for diabetes specifically. I've been to see a nhs diabetes psychologist fairly recently but only for a few sessions. I tend to be in a better place when the appointments actually come around for these things and then I find it hard to explain how I feel when I'm struggling, if that makes sense, I feel like I'm better and embarrassed for wasting their time.
I will see if I can get hold of the psychologist to book another appointment, I may find it more helpful this time round.

Thank you for pointing me in the direction of your website, I will take some time to read through the guidelines and email you my location

 

This is definitely something I will start doing. I've not thought of doing this before but will prove do be very helpful. I guess I'm so used to recording numbers and food that I've never given much thought to my feelings etc.


Thank you

 

Yeah it's such hard work to be mentally battling with so much every day. That's the worst part for me.
Wanting to lose some weight because it'll be better for my health / possible pregnancy not too far in the future and figuring out the best way to do that. I know slimming groups work for me when I am 'in the zone' but also know they profit from our insecurities and I want to be able to reprogram my brain to just learn to eat in moderation and be sensible without binging and getting stuck in this vicious cycle.

Feels like it will never happen
Just have to keep battling through I guess

 

It's funny really because it's never crossed my mind to try to just stay where I am, weight wise. I guess it's sad that I've never really thought of accepting and loving my body as it is, I'm always looking to lose some weight by Xmas, or for that wedding or whatever it may be, and of course that never happens anyway.

That's certainly food for thought isn't it! Pardon the pun!