Type 1: Do you ever think 'Why me?'

@MrXile you are not alone. The first day on which I was diagnosed, I was like 'I can do this, it'll be fine', and sometimes I say 'at least if it's me, it isn't somebody else', but I often do feel 'why me? what did I do to deserve this?', particularly on days when I am doing everything right and the numbers are still not good. I think it's even worse if it just drops on you out of nowhere, with no family history.

That said, this is a really hard disease to deal with. Have you spoken to your DSN about getting some counselling/psychological support? I see a psychologist through the diabetes service, and it could be really helpful for you, since they will also have some idea of what this condition actually means. Or, if you would like to just rant, feel free to send me a PM, I'm happy to listen.

The diabetes beast is hard work, constantly. However, it is also a petty, mean little thing that nobody likes, whereas I am absolutely sure that a great many people are very fond of and love you. You can win this.

Why me isn't something I've thought about. There's not going to be an answer so it doesn't seem particularly helpful or productive to ask the question.

It probably is fairly common. It's a shock of diagnosis thing. It's perectly natural to be struggling to adjust to this thing that's been thrust upon you. It could be described as a grieving process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I'm not saying your going to go through all the stages or anything, but it's a big thing to deal with and get your head around. And, rather unhelpfully, some of the questions just don't have an answer. You'll just have to figure out a way to be able to shrug your shoulders (or other appropriate hand jesture) and just get on with it.

I used to think "why me?" all the time.

But if you think about all the people out there who are suffering from even worse conditions than T1D - conditions that are also autoimmune and/or that also did not result from anything they "did" - you realise that we shouldn't really complain.

T1D sucks, no doubt. But there are much worse ailments, and in the UK we are so lucky to have easy and cost-free access to insulin and testing methods to manage it, so it's best not to dwell and to focus on the positives, in my opinion.....

Ive been thinking but I realized that my life wouldnt be the same without diabetes. I accepted this.

I'm 28 years down the line since dx, but I still recall feeling exactly that. Spent my teens cross-country running, ski-ing (not Verbier, dry ski slope at Hillend outside Edinburgh), hacking about in racing dinghies (not the Med, Graduate dinghy on Firth of Forth), cycling, etc. etc. Was pretty damned healthy, hell, even had a six pack before they became fashionable, so like you, thought, why me? Went through a short spell of thinking I'm disabled. Didn't last long: eased off a bit while getting used to the vagaries of our little unwanted friend then got back on the skis, boat and bike, and just accepted that there needed to be a bit more planning. In the case of the bike, all that meant was as well was as packing the tent, also pack more oatcakes, marmalade, dried fruit, and reducing basal and bolus (when exercising glucose finds other pathways without insulin). Since then, have cycled from Rome to Athens, backpacked 4 months through Eastern Europe, 6 months through Asia, and the main diabetes related concern has only really been what sort of readily available hypo treatment can I find in hot countries which won't melt in my pocket? Answer: Mentos, can pick them up anywhere on the planet. Anyhoo, I've spent too much time telling you about my life, but the point is to illustrate that seeing as I'm really not that well organised, if I can manage things, so can you. Sure, there's going to be a spell of why me, but after that the correct approach is, "bring it".

Hey @MrXile i was slightly younger at 39 when I was diagnosed, to be honest the first few months were spent in shock trying to come to terms, then a process of why and how, it's all a grieving process, in some respects you are trying to justify an answer and to process the reality. My personal advice is to become an 'expert', learn and read up as much as you can, coming to terms with this so you can a manage your condition is where you need to be. Lots of us around you can lean on for support, there really are no clear answers as to why and and how, it does get easier with time.

Sounds crazy but sometimes I think it's Karma for something I've done wrong in the past.

Eireannn said:

Sounds crazy but sometimes I think it's Karma for something I've done wrong in the past.

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Well, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that that's definitely not true. Illnesses and medical conditions are bad luck, nothing else.

@MrXile I thought like that too. I think many people without Type 1 don't understand the anger and upset and resentment a diagnosis can cause. It took me months to begin to get my head round the idea, and probably a couple of years to really deal with it.

MrXile said:

I'm recently diagnosed at 42 yrs old -and I'm struggling with the why me aspect of it.

I know it's an auto immune problem, and it's probably nothing I did to cause it - but still, why me?

300,000 in the UK out of 65 million have Type 1, but why me?

Is it a common practise for people to feel this way?

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Being diagnosed as a young child I've grown up with the condition so have never had the why me because I know only life with diabetes.
Having two brothers though there was quite often the it's not fair when they were given sweets as treats and I wasn't allowed them back in the 1960's.

It's very common though for people to ask why me and quite normal I would have thought, after all it must be quite a shock to suddenly be diagnosed with type1 diabetes. Take one day at a time and acceptance will come in time.

Eireannn said:

Sounds crazy but sometimes I think it's Karma for something I've done wrong in the past.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I don't think I've done anything quite bad enough to be deserving of this. It's just bad luck. No actual reason.

Yes. And I nearly killed myself thinking about it and worrying about it. Thinking on it only hurts more in the end I find. You are and you can still be anything you wish to be and that is what is important to focus on.

Hi @MrXile
here is a link you might want to have a look at -- this information was passed along to me 44 years ago at my diagnosis by a very wise diabetic nurse--
I still use it to get me through patches in my life where I become troubled with my D

gaining acceptance is the key -- and it will be revisited many times over for all of us

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

@MrXile you'll feel like this for a while but you will get over it.

As a child, I thought my cross to bear was asthma, having been in hospital 3 times with it. I was proved wrong when I was 24 and diagnosed with Type 1. That was a lot worse and it took me a long time to accept it fully. (I actually blame one doctor in particular for that, but that's another story!) It does get better and there will come a day when you'll realise it's not that bad. Some reach that point quicker than others, so I hope you are one of them.

I don't think I've been thinking 'why me?' about my diabetes but I have talked with a friend who feels this way with theirs so I know where you're coming from.

Usually I just try to get on with it each day. That said, I have had days where I can get frustrated and end up a bit listless about it.

I'm 44 and diagnosed type 1 some 40 years ago and most certainly have thought that at times.

The answer to that is simply No.

As they say and putting it politely "**** Happens"

For me its just a case of dealing with the problem at hand as there is no escape.

Regards

Martin

Yep, thought that "why me" for every night for 6 solid weeks when I was diagnosed.

Think a lot of that though was being such strictly informed of diet, insulin, I would die early and would get complications etc and lucky if I got to 25 years with it. No internet, my dad promising a cure...

Believe me, it will pass...
you'll stop tjinking it when you accept it more.

Think when you get critical illnesses such as diabetes, or cancer etc its getting acceptance of it, and living with it that will overcome the "why me".

I still get tge "why me" twofold or three fold but have found ways to limit the thoughts thanks to a brilliant cancer therapist..

Wish the cancsr therapists and centres could be available for diabetics more... but they arent.. and never will be through the NHS..