Type 1: I'm a horrible diabetic

Hi hun and welcome.

I myself have been there. I am now a little more on top of things since having my son. It isn't easy having diabetes, there's definitely a lt of work involved with it.

My current a1c is 10.1 so we're in the same scale so to speak. I have got a pump but currently have saline water in it and will be going live next Monday (30th) with insulin.

If you need a chat or to let if steam feel free to message me anytime.

Kelly

jessirene said:

I have been type 1 for going on 12 years now. The only time I was "controlled" was when I was pregnant, I got my A1C down from 13 to 6.4. I'm around 10 right now, but I look at all these post and half of what everyone post makes absolutely no sense to me. I see charts that people post that I've never seen before and other stuff. I am just horrible at this disease. I need to start taking care of myself, I just made an appointment with my Endo so I can get on track but I'm also terrified that getting healthy is going to make me Gaon weight like crazy. I can't be alone in this, am I?

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Don't let it bother you all these charts and graphs,and bolus. I know insulin as fast acting and slow release. I have never in my time of having Type 1 seen a load of unnecessary things to make you worry about. I just test my blood and adjust accordingly. Eat a healthy diet watch my carbs. Type 1 for 50 years.

At least you are attempting to do something about it. I'm a rubbish type one too, i eat what i want when i want and to be totally honest most days i have chocolate for breakfast. Hardly ever check my blood sugars any longer and always have high doses of insulin, rarely end up low as i eat so much ****.
Everyone says you will regret it when your older but so what, why should you let a disease define you, do what makes you happy! I always see people post things on here and have no idea what they are talking about, most people say diabetics shouldnt have sugar often, hahaha booo boring.

jessirene said:

I have been type 1 for going on 12 years now. The only time I was "controlled" was when I was pregnant, I got my A1C down from 13 to 6.4. I'm around 10 right now, but I look at all these post and half of what everyone post makes absolutely no sense to me. I see charts that people post that I've never seen before and other stuff. I am just horrible at this disease. I need to start taking care of myself, I just made an appointment with my Endo so I can get on track but I'm also terrified that getting healthy is going to make me Gaon weight like crazy. I can't be alone in this, am I?

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jessirene said:

I have been type 1 for going on 12 years now. The only time I was "controlled" was when I was pregnant, I got my A1C down from 13 to 6.4. I'm around 10 right now, but I look at all these post and half of what everyone post makes absolutely no sense to me. I see charts that people post that I've never seen before and other stuff. I am just horrible at this disease. I need to start taking care of myself, I just made an appointment with my Endo so I can get on track but I'm also terrified that getting healthy is going to make me Gaon weight like crazy. I can't be alone in this, am I?

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Hi jessirene, you are definitely not alone. I was taking a set dose of bolus for years & because My hba1c were ok I wasn't given any advise, it was only when I broke down @ my clinic, telling them I couldn't do this any more that I was put forward for a carb counting course, I can honestly say that I learned so much that it improved my life dramatically. I was opposite from you & was eating more than I wanted to cover the dose of insulin I was taking. I now alter my dose in line with what I am eating, it is hard work but worth it. Please get your consultant to get you on such a course with other type 1 diabetics. It is another good support system & I got my first real education in to living with this disease. There is always hurdles but fingers crossed you get help to cope with them. My current hurdle is underactive thyroid, which is lowering my blood glucose levels, so I am slowly reducing my carb:insulin ratios & my basal to try & combat this, but it will get better for you when you get the tools to do so. The forum is great, I am diabetic 26/27 years & just discovered it myself last month.

Jellybaby98 said:

At least you are attempting to do something about it. I'm a rubbish type one too, i eat what i want when i want and to be totally honest most days i have chocolate for breakfast. Hardly ever check my blood sugars any longer and always have high doses of insulin, rarely end up low as i eat so much ****.
Everyone says you will regret it when your older but so what, why should you let a disease define you, do what makes you happy! I always see people post things on here and have no idea what they are talking about, most people say diabetics shouldnt have sugar often, hahaha booo boring.

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I eat chocolate and other things. They're not forbidden, but you do need to bolus appropriately. Diabetes doesn't define me either. By controlling it, I'm beating it not giving in.

I think you can do both - control it AND be happy

azure said:

Most of that weight you gained will have been natural weight - putting back what you lost when your body wasn't able to use what you ate because of the Type 1. I put on weight when I was first diagnosed too. That's very normal because your body is desperately rebuilding itself after being starved due to lack of insulin.

Insulin doesn't make you fat. I want to shout that from the rooftops every time a Type 1 says that. Non-diabetics have insulin and they don't worry that it will make them fat. As long as you eat what your body needs and take the insulin to cover it, you'll be fine.

It's good you're taking your bolus (fast acting) insulin with meals - really good. How are your blood sugars?

I recommend a book called Think Like A Pancreas. That's what you have to do - do the job of your pancreas. That way your body will find its natural weight and your blood sugars will be in range, and you'll reduce your risk of complications.

Every tiny step forward is a step towards that goal You're no different from us - we all struggle sometimes. You can do it

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To add to this, you need to separate your emotional response to your weight from reality. I've put on nearly two stone since diagnosis and FEEL really fat; objectively I'm still skinny with a low BMI. Guess which view dominates? But more importantly I feel so much healthier (because I am!) even if I've gone up a waist size... and more than likely no one else has noticed any weight gain unless they think you look better for it!

As someone else has said, consider your priorities. I would put feeling fit and healthy over how I feel about my body shape every time. I take the view that things like weight can be reversed anytime. Organ damage cannot.

Good luck, cut yourself some slack, and give yourself a chance to work out your priorities and then work towards then step by step.

Regards,

Shiba

jessirene said:

I have been type 1 for going on 12 years now. The only time I was "controlled" was when I was pregnant, I got my A1C down from 13 to 6.4. I'm around 10 right now, but I look at all these post and half of what everyone post makes absolutely no sense to me. I see charts that people post that I've never seen before and other stuff. I am just horrible at this disease. I need to start taking care of myself, I just made an appointment with my Endo so I can get on track but I'm also terrified that getting healthy is going to make me Gaon weight like crazy. I can't be alone in this, am I?

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hey by what I can gather here a lot of people have issues with their diabetes, my hba1c is currently 154 and I've no idea what that means cause it's too high up the scale. what lead to that is exactly what you mentioned, the fear of good control ment gaining weight and through that I've developed an eating disorder, hopefully yours doesn't get that far but although I don't believe it myself I guess it just depends what your eating. don't let gaining wright ruin your future, good control means a better lifestyle

Hi there
I was only diagnosed 4 months ago, the though of all those charts and graphs scares the **** out of me, so I didn't even attempt to get my head around it, instead I got myself a little notebook and just keep a record of my levels, what I eat and what I inject. That's it. I eat what I want but I have a very active lifestyle I'm on my feet all day everyday and I find that helps keep my injections down. I currently inject 1 unit per 10g of carbs. I do worry about weight gain, but I think that's what helps me stay active outside of work.
You're on the right track tho, going to see your doctor.
But whatever you think, you're not a bad diabetic!! good luck in getting things back on track, you'll be there in no time
Robyn

You're not a bad diabetic. You just have a really tough lot at the moment. Most of us here are in the UK so don't have an issue in getting insulin. I read an article recently in the Washington Post about how the costs of insulin in the US have been pushed up massively by manufacturers but apparently walmart are manufacturing their own version at a much cheaper level. Are you able to access this? Are there any charities which might be able to help you.


Yes it's very hard to get good control. It takes a lot of commitment and mental will power and you have to really want to. If you have trouble affording insulin, maybe consider a low carb diet for a while? That way you will use less insulin. Low carb high fat is also the latest diet which is in the news so also good from the weight perspective.

Good luck. You've already taken the first step to better control - recognising you need to do something.

jessirene said:

I have been type 1 for going on 12 years now. The only time I was "controlled" was when I was pregnant, I got my A1C down from 13 to 6.4. I'm around 10 right now, but I look at all these post and half of what everyone post makes absolutely no sense to me. I see charts that people post that I've never seen before and other stuff. I am just horrible at this disease. I need to start taking care of myself, I just made an appointment with my Endo so I can get on track but I'm also terrified that getting healthy is going to make me Gaon weight like crazy. I can't be alone in this, am I?

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You are certainly not alone in your anxieties and should be so proud that you have made the first step to see your Endo. I don't have diabetes but I know how hard it is to book a doctors appointment when you are really anxious.
My boyfriend was diagnosed with type 1 several years a go before I met him. He wasn't really in control when I met him but two months a go he changed his new job and has started small changes towards controlling his diabetes simply by checking his blood sugars more at work and after meals. He is now often in healthy ranges whereas before his monitor would just say high. He still eats what's he wants and hasn't gained weight even though he would like to. Its not been easy for him to make these changes as he has the added worry that if he does have a low he may have a seizure as he has epilepsy and every time he has a seizure he's been low. My anxiety for him is so high at times because I am still learning about diabetes and I can't believe how much you all have to go through on a daily basis to stay healthy. That is why you shouldn't beat yourself up. You did so well getting to a healthy blood sugar when you were pregnant for you and your baby that you have it inside to get healthy again.
You have also made a giant step in contacting your endo and should be so proud of yourself. Things might not change overnight and it might take you weeks or months to get to a healthy level but you have taken the first leap to get there. Focussing on small steps and goals are often the easiest way to achieve especially when you have depression also (which is something I can definitely relate to). Your anxieties show you have the determination and want to get in control and you will do it. Just be proud of the steps you have taken. You are an extremely strong lady and you have the support of everyone in this forum, so remember you are not alone.
I have read a few of your other posts too and it makes me so sad that you have to rely on health insurance for your insulin. I know it has to be paid for somehow but I wish there was help out there for you to get insulin for a while whilst you sort out any problems with insurance. That can't have helped your anxieties but sorting out your insurance so you can get insulin again is another step you can be really proud of.

azure said:

I eat chocolate and other things. They're not forbidden, but you do need to bolus appropriately. Diabetes doesn't define me either. By controlling it, I'm beating it not giving in.

I think you can do both - control it AND be happy

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I always just inject more, admitedly i eat far more chocolates than i should but ah well i like it! Sweet tooth gets me!

I've been diagnosed T1 for 28 years, it's my anniversary today!! I've been badly controlled for most of that time. Most recent a1c was 8.3mmol but that's only over past few years was always 13+ before that! This disease we battle every day is hard work, so celebrate every victory even if it's only a small one! Don't dwell too much on the bad it won't do any good! The most important thing you can take from this forum is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE that's the most outstanding thing for me! I don't always post but I will always come on an read some of the posts just to remind myself I'm not alone! There is speculation around diabetes and depression being linked but depression can only get a hold on you if you let it!! Come to the forum every day or few days see what others are going through and stand with them in their fight it will help you in yours!

Good luck with the first step of getting back into the fight and keep your chin up, we are all fighting with you!

jessirene said:

I have been type 1 for going on 12 years now. The only time I was "controlled" was when I was pregnant, I got my A1C down from 13 to 6.4. I'm around 10 right now, but I look at all these post and half of what everyone post makes absolutely no sense to me. I see charts that people post that I've never seen before and other stuff. I am just horrible at this disease. I need to start taking care of myself, I just made an appointment with my Endo so I can get on track but I'm also terrified that getting healthy is going to make me Gaon weight like crazy. I can't be alone in this, am I?

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I have had type 1 since the age of 2, i'm 60 now. When a teenager I wanted to be like my friends eating everything, drinking too much alcohol. Not good. Suffered diabetic retinopathy losing total sight in my left eye and necrobiosis lipoidica diabeticorum (that 1 in a million diabetics get). I learnt the hard way about taking care of my diabetis. Don't make the samemistake !

jessirene said:

I have been type 1 for going on 12 years now. The only time I was "controlled" was when I was pregnant, I got my A1C down from 13 to 6.4. I'm around 10 right now, but I look at all these post and half of what everyone post makes absolutely no sense to me. I see charts that people post that I've never seen before and other stuff. I am just horrible at this disease. I need to start taking care of myself, I just made an appointment with my Endo so I can get on track but I'm also terrified that getting healthy is going to make me Gaon weight like crazy. I can't be alone in this, am I?

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You are not a horrible diabetic. My daughter has been a T1 diabetic since she was 4, almost 14 years now, it's been awful for her. It is constantly there reminding you to test, calculate carbs, give insulin etc etc. She is now on a low carb diet and is feeling much better for it. A1c now 7.7% Just know that you are not alone....

I was told I was type 1 and thought so for two months until the final diagnosis. Dealing with what was thought to be T1 for that time was one of the most stressful things I've ever had to deal with and tbh, I'm not sure I could have (I'm 40 and very organised). Being told I was T2 was the biggest relief I've had since the "it's not your baby" results. I've read a few replies and it seems like everyone is saying you're not bad at diabetes, I'd disagree. You're a parent, you have responsibilities. I'd don't mean to be horrible but it has to be said, you need to up your game massively. A little weight gain should be the last of your concerns in all honesty, going blind and literally not seeing your children grow up, limb amputations and not being able to run with the them, organ damage and them having to care for you instead of living their own lives; they'd be my concerns.

I'm not sure what else I can say as you know all this already, just know that I don't mean the above nastily. Best of will power to you.

Paul.

jessirene said:

I was diagnosed at 16 and I immediately gained around 30lbs, I pretty much stopped taking all bolus insulin after that, I did not start again until I got pregnant at 25. I have been taking it with every meal since then but I do not count, I just tend to take a set dose, I fear that if I start taking as much as I should I will gain weight again, so I always say "I will start eating healthy so I can take the right dose" but the "eating right" part never comes. I think (at least in America) eating healthy is so difficult to do.

I lost health insurance about 3 months ago and had to go many days without any basil insulin and I got so sick. I just got insurance back two weeks ago and am trying to get back into diabetes management.

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Can I just ask - and I've always wondered about this - how does it work re T1DM and insurance in USA? Can you get health insurance and are the premiums affordable? Just interested and very thankful for the NHS!

jessirene said:

I have been type 1 for going on 12 years now. The only time I was "controlled" was when I was pregnant, I got my A1C down from 13 to 6.4. I'm around 10 right now, but I look at all these post and half of what everyone post makes absolutely no sense to me. I see charts that people post that I've never seen before and other stuff. I am just horrible at this disease. I need to start taking care of myself, I just made an appointment with my Endo so I can get on track but I'm also terrified that getting healthy is going to make me Gaon weight like crazy. I can't be alone in this, am I?

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Hi

jessirene said:

I have been type 1 for going on 12 years now. The only time I was "controlled" was when I was pregnant, I got my A1C down from 13 to 6.4. I'm around 10 right now, but I look at all these post and half of what everyone post makes absolutely no sense to me. I see charts that people post that I've never seen before and other stuff. I am just horrible at this disease. I need to start taking care of myself, I just made an appointment with my Endo so I can get on track but I'm also terrified that getting healthy is going to make me Gaon weight like crazy. I can't be alone in this, am I?

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hi jessirene I just had to reply to your post to let you know your not alone... I feel like I have written your post. I've only been diagnosed 4 years and the only time I have been in control was when I was pregnant also. My fear is the weight gain too and I promise myself every night that "tomorrow I will eat low carb" and healthy so that I won't have to inject as much. I'm constantly battling with myself between being in control or petrified of the weight gain. Good luck with your appointment let us know how you get on x

jessirene said:

I just got back from my endocrinologist, my A1C is 10.9.... they gave me the lecture of course. They put on a CGM, I don't get to see the reading myself but will check in every couple weeks for them to download it.

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Positive news, moving thing forward regarding your appointment....

Ouch! On the A1c. I'm sure it will get sorted out..
That's terrific you have a CGM issued. Would I be correct in reading that your endo hasn't given you the "reader" that collates from the sensor patch?

Gonna give @TorqPenderloin another tag.. (He may have missed the first one.) the guy uses a CGM.!

jessirene said:

I just got back from my endocrinologist, my A1C is 10.9.... they gave me the lecture of course. They put on a CGM, I don't get to see the reading myself but will check in every couple weeks for them to download it.

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That sounds a good step forward