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Type 1: I'm a horrible diabetic

Discussion in 'Type 1 Diabetes' started by jessirene, Jan 23, 2017.

  1. jessirene

    jessirene Type 1 · Member

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    I have been type 1 for going on 12 years now. The only time I was "controlled" was when I was pregnant, I got my A1C down from 13 to 6.4. I'm around 10 right now, but I look at all these post and half of what everyone post makes absolutely no sense to me. I see charts that people post that I've never seen before and other stuff. I am just horrible at this disease. I need to start taking care of myself, I just made an appointment with my Endo so I can get on track but I'm also terrified that getting healthy is going to make me Gaon weight like crazy. I can't be alone in this, am I?
     
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  2. azure

    azure Type 1 · Expert

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    Hi @jessirene :)

    First of all, you're not a horrible diabetic :) It's hard work, day in and day out. Never underestimate the toughness of living with Type 1.

    Don't worry about charts and the like. There are charts here that many people have no experience of. We don't all have or want the software/equipment, so please dint let that put you off :)

    Getting good blood sugars shouldnt make you gain weight :) Eat well and bolus accordingly.

    Can I ask - are you skipping injections because of weight worries?
     
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  3. tigerlily72

    tigerlily72 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Ok, firstly I should say I'm type 2 so don't fully understand type 1. But you're not a horrible diabetic, it sounds like you need some support and help. I've only been diagnosed for about a year and a half - you've been living with it for 12 years so don't beat yourself up too much.

    Try not to get hung up on figures and charts as what's "good" for one person may not be for another. There may be other contributing factors affecting blood sugar and other readings.

    You say you've made an appointment with your Endo so you're (to me) going in the right direction and taking steps to get control, rather than letting it control you! x
     
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  4. himtoo

    himtoo Type 1 · Well-Known Member
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    Hi @jessirene
    very first -- you are not a horrible diabetic.:(
    you are a young lady that has been given a huge responsibility that sometimes none of us can totally cope with.
    I am so glad you found us and I would like to ask that you keep posting and together perhaps we can bring back your belief in yourself -- and with that help regain the control you experienced when you were pregnant.
     
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  5. MickyFinn

    MickyFinn Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I agree with the others, managing diabetes is a lot of effort and hard work. At least you have decided you need to make a few changes, and you're seeking advice from your consultant etc.
     
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  6. Phoenix55

    Phoenix55 Prediabetes · Well-Known Member

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    @jessirene you are not a horrible diabetic, you may be poorly controlled but you are trying to change that and have taken the first steps. Will it be terrible for you to gain a few curves and become a little more curvy than you are at the moment? You have put in a lot of work so far, you know you can take control so go for it again.
     
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  7. jessirene

    jessirene Type 1 · Member

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    I was diagnosed at 16 and I immediately gained around 30lbs, I pretty much stopped taking all bolus insulin after that, I did not start again until I got pregnant at 25. I have been taking it with every meal since then but I do not count, I just tend to take a set dose, I fear that if I start taking as much as I should I will gain weight again, so I always say "I will start eating healthy so I can take the right dose" but the "eating right" part never comes. I think (at least in America) eating healthy is so difficult to do.

    I lost health insurance about 3 months ago and had to go many days without any basil insulin and I got so sick. I just got insurance back two weeks ago and am trying to get back into diabetes management.
     
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  8. jessirene

    jessirene Type 1 · Member

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    Thank you. I never even thought about looking for forum to join, I never even knew another diabetic until about a month ago. I decided to look for a forum to see if anyone was out there that I could relate to or that might have insight on Diabetes and Depression being linked, this seemed to be the most popular one I could find.
     
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  9. jessirene

    jessirene Type 1 · Member

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    I have never had a support system. My mom's support pretty much only consist of saying "should you be eating that?" or scolding me for not being perfect. I was married for 6 years and that man probably could not have told you the first thing about diabetes other then I had to take shots.
     
  10. jessirene

    jessirene Type 1 · Member

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    I try not to think about weight gain but without going into detail, I can say that with the way I grew up, it is almost impossible. I just really need to find a way to take control of the way I eat. It is just way harder than I could have ever imagined. I hope that when i see my doctor on Thursday I can get some solid advise.
     
  11. Tophat1900

    Tophat1900 Type 3c · Well-Known Member

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    I'm type 2, so take this for what it is worth.

    If you can get your diet figured out and under control, things start to fall into place, whether you are diabetic or not. Getting your treatment sorted will help too. Hopefully your specialist gets that sorted for you.

    As things improve, your health improves, your happiness level improves. Beware of side effects from these improvements, you might even crack a smile here and there, and that can be contagious.. :)
     
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  12. Blackers183

    Blackers183 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Agree with the others that it's a difficult condition to manage but in the end it's up to you and only you to look after yourself. To manage type 1 diabetes every hour of every day you needs lots of information, guidance and will power. Joining this site is a good start and read lots of books (ask people on this site, etc) about the condition. Be prepared to challenge the medical professionals and don't expect anyone who is not a diabetic to understand.

    On the weight issue I carb count and had thought that this possibly opened to door to overeating and just dosing up accordingly. However on the DAFNE (Dose Adjusting For Normal Eating) course I attended 2 years ago it was indicated that most type 1s who carb count actually lose weight, it has something to do with actually keeping records of carb intake.
     
  13. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Moderator
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    Hey @jessirene Welocme to the forum ;). I have only been diagnosed 5 years and am a mum myself, I was 39 when I was diagnosed so was a late starter ! I have to admit that my reason for wanting to stay on track and keep good BG control is simply because I want to grow older and see my daughter grow up without suffering complications. I don't honestly think any one is a bad diabetic, we have a condition to manage and if managed ok then it means we can get on with life. I know that if my BG levels are all over the place then I get depressed so I try to keep as stable with my control as possible, it is like walking a tightrope. Yes the truthful answer is I have gained weight, but you know I don't honestly care, my health is so much more important and so is my eyesight and I have reversed my background retinopathy since getting more stable control.

    Take some time to think what your priorities are and what you want your life to be like, write them down and put it away in a drawer, every so often look at them and remind yourself, our priorities in life do change with age but realising now what could be very important to you in 10 years will help you to gain some focus.

    Tell your doctor everything, take notes and make sure all of your questions are answered, you can become an expert on your diabetes, at least you are now going in the right direction :)
     
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  14. Granny_grump_

    Granny_grump_ Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi Jessirene what Blackers183 says is very true the secrect is knowing the amount of carbs you eat in any meal and calculating the amount of insulin to give for the carbs. My grandson has been on this course and after 10 years of not managing is type1 diabetes he is now so in control.He is looking so well and a lot happier,I realise you seem to live in America but what happens here in U.K. Has usually been done in USA so I wish you well and hope you get the advice you so need.Ho! and he has not put on weight he is quiet slim and he's been doing the carb to insulin for about 18 months.
     
  15. azure

    azure Type 1 · Expert

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    Most of that weight you gained will have been natural weight - putting back what you lost when your body wasn't able to use what you ate because of the Type 1. I put on weight when I was first diagnosed too. That's very normal because your body is desperately rebuilding itself after being starved due to lack of insulin.

    Insulin doesn't make you fat. I want to shout that from the rooftops every time a Type 1 says that. Non-diabetics have insulin and they don't worry that it will make them fat. As long as you eat what your body needs and take the insulin to cover it, you'll be fine.

    It's good you're taking your bolus (fast acting) insulin with meals - really good. How are your blood sugars?

    I recommend a book called Think Like A Pancreas. That's what you have to do - do the job of your pancreas. That way your body will find its natural weight and your blood sugars will be in range, and you'll reduce your risk of complications.

    Every tiny step forward is a step towards that goal :) You're no different from us - we all struggle sometimes. You can do it :)
     
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  16. jessirene

    jessirene Type 1 · Member

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    My A1C is around 10.5, so my average blood sugar is around 250. I have been using expired insulin for the last 2.5 months because I lost insurance.
     
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  17. azure

    azure Type 1 · Expert

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    @jessirene I know very little about US healthcare so I'm going to tag @TorqPenderloin for you.

    You say you have an Endo appointment - will you be able to get in date insulin then? Is there any way that Endo can issue you a prescription for some before your appointment?

    You've taken the big first step of vowing to get on top of the diabetes and I know you know that's crucial to avoid short term and long term damage.

    Getting healthy and taking insulin won't make you fat. Personally, I don't like fixating on weight but just to,reassure you my last HbA1C was 5.2 and my BMI is around 19. So taking the right amount of insulin each and every day for the 22+ years I've been diabetic has not made me fat.
     
  18. Lifeissweetenough

    Lifeissweetenough LADA · Member

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    This sounds so reassuring to hear @azure as I too worry about gaining weight. I would love to know a bit more about your diet- is this something you'd be ok sharing on here?
    I have been reading a book about diabetes burnout and 1 thing that I was really struck by was the suggestion that diabetics are more motivated by stories of success than horror stories as a result of poor control... @jessirene you are not a horrible diabetic! Managing diabetes means relentless rigour and resilience: it is exhausting to keep this going on a daily basis. Be kind to yourself. Try to focus on 1 element of diabetes care at a time- whether it's choosing 1 meal to focus on to start with or building in a 20min walk into your everyday routine. There are many t1s out there who have found a way of making this work for them. When I am feeling frazzled by all the counting, testing and vigilance I have found YouTube really useful- obviously use the info selectively but there are videos of people managing the day to day trials and tribulations of t1 in everyday life and I find it comforting to know there are people out there managing similar dilemmas to me. Our prime minister theresa May being 1 of them! I may not agree with all her politics but if she can manage international debates, speeches and crises whilst managing carb counting and injections- this inspires me!
    1 small step; 1 day at s time with bucket loads of self kindness along the way.
     
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  19. Jaylee

    Jaylee Type 1 · Moderator
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    Hi,
    There is no such thing as a "horrible D". Just "lost"..

    But,
    You know where you are, now you're here.! :cool:
     
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  20. azure

    azure Type 1 · Expert

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    @Lifeissweetenough I eat moderate carbs - at the moment around 180g per day, but has been slightly lower in the past. I tend to,stick to similar breakfast and lunches to avoid having to think too much, and have more variety at my evening meal. I eat cereal, rye bread, oatcakes, pasta, rice, potatoes, etc, but spread my carbs over the day (including snacks) and keep my portions moderate. I do have desserts sometimes but choose wisely and again have a moderate portion. I have full fat foods as they slow down any rises.

    I advance bolus, test lots, including after meals, and keep active :)
     
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