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What was your fasting blood glucose? (full on chat)

Smashing. Looking forward to that.
 
lindisfel said:
Been another cold night with a lot of condensation. I must put some heating on first thing again.
Yesterday was a nice day in Cumbria but cool.

Shopping this am, must take the Octavia in to get the tyres assessed.
Derek
Click to expand...
Nights are drawing in Derek, eviction season will soon be upon us. Trouble at mill last night. The topic of heating came up but was quickly quashed with the aid of a ganzy.
 
Another smashing photo. Have fun in that Tardis.
 
Very intriguing image there. Looking forward to the mixed media additions.
 
dunelm said:
Nights are drawing in Derek, eviction season will soon be upon us. Trouble at mill last night. The topic of heating came up but was quickly quashed with the aid of a ganzy.
Click to expand...
I have already added a fleece third layer on a regular basis. And today I have put the fleece layer back on my bed.The heating is not going to go on yet - other than for half an hour before anyone has a shower. We're not masochists. (Heating on, shower room door closed, half an hour of heat, heating off and it's time for the first shower.) Makes for very speedy ablutions.

B G at 3.45 am was 8.9. Up to 9.4 now.
 
Morning all from a cooler start here in L.A. - humoungous layers season incoming. Another 5.5 from the Libre here - when I first looked. Signing up to allow Abbott to use my data for research seems to have given me continuous readings when my phone is close. Some fascinating insights into what is happening with bg. @Krystyna23040 that thunder and heavy rain was quite localised as we only had a few fairly anaemic flurries. @dunelm thanks for sharing the wonderful art, sending me to look up ganzy and find the new hive. Does Mrs Miggins award caps for each selection? @gennepher enjoy making the Tardis (sadly I know what that is) a new studio and thanks for the amazing photo. Four new tyres required on the smaller 4wd since 1 failed the mot - £££s. Brace yourself @lindisfel. @alf_Josiah I hope #shoegate goes smoothly for all involved. The O/T could have saved Laura K and BBC time and trouble since ignoring/scoffing at the attached summarises how we arrived here. Have a great/good/useful day or do all the right things in the face of adversity.
 

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Don't expect much change out of my pocket money!
 
Cold showers in cold rooms are always a surprise - and you can get into and out of a shower without even getting wet.
 
Thank you @ianpspurs. More of a Tilley hat than a cap.
 
T
Thanks Ian
 
6.3 today! Lovely morning after a fresh start, indeed, coldest night since February! Heating set at sixteen degrees came on automatically! Sunny and warm now! Tidy up in garden or reading and relaxing in my easy chair?

During my counselling, and my quiet time after the footie last night, I have come to the conclusion that I may be in denial with my thinking of how I tackle my future. My reliance on my ex working life to be my reliance to get on with my lot. Family is still a huge part of my day to day and it fills so much of my day! But there is that time when I am not going about my day. This is, as you are probably aware that, is when we have as @dunelm @gennepher would use for their unbelievable art! Television has not got the appeal it once did, struggling to find something I like that I haven't watched, same with reading. I found out through my DIL, that I speed read, and I have often read a whole decent sized novel in a few hours. It is a good job that during my hypo hell time before diagnosis, that I can't remember a lot of the books that I read then!
I have my garden, but it is an excuse to be outside.
In other words, other than my family time, I have nothing to fill hours. I am not lonely!
Due to circumstances, because of my carer role, I cannot subscribe to volunteer work without feeling real anxiety leaving Mrs L, without care. It has become apparent that even going for counselling my anxiety kicks in, being away from home!
I still cannot feel elation!
I'm happier, but no joy!
I have no excitement in me!
I still have a few minutes in the morning when I wake up, I don't want to get up, but I know, I can't stay there in my pit! From that moment till the morning bits are done and Mrs L chores are done. I can have an hour doing something! Computer jigsaw sometimes!
It always, feels that I'm not doing enough! Though I am aware that I'm doing too much! Don't know how to work that out!
Because of the restless legs issues, I can't sit for long without having to get up and do something!
But that doesn't help!

I am frustrated, so much, anxiety going out, anxiety away from Mrs L, anxiety over her health and misrememberitis, trying not to be frustrated with her, anxiety over being angry over the frustration with the repetition of Mrs L asking or questioning, misunderstanding of even what day it is! Finding things she has put away and a lot, lot more!
I'm coping, as much as I can. Help would be grateful, family are great but it is not ideal to see Mrs L, the way she is!
And finally I'm using the few occasions to go the footie, to watch my team, as an excuse to get out, when within half an hour, my brain is questioning my reasons for going, and I have guilt and anxiety in reams!
I have crossed off the need to go back to the football club, to assuage that part of the anxiety issues! I have no longer pain from that! I have faced that and it's not a problem now!

My confidence is not great! My reasoning is not muddled, I can do stuff, but I'm still wary of doing things that I'm not sure of. Does that make sense?

I still have certain shopping anxiety, certain shops are beyond my anxiety, especially the bigger superstores! Panic attacks are the reason for this. Avoiding them when out with Mrs L is a task of persuasion!

Chores and shopping done!

I know the denial, is in hoping something comes about as it does in life to change things, have no idea what or want it to be. I know that my life as such, will very likely not be any better anytime soon!
I'm not a fan of this, not knowing!
And of course, My anxiety over my anxiety, which is that I'm very anxious about it all!
I can't help it!


My best wishes to you all as always!
 

In 1960’s when I joined the military, we were shown how to make a bed. It was inspected each day. It had to be done with care, and attention. I still, after nearly 60 years of being taught that task, make our bed in the morning. Little things matter. A US Naval Admiral, William McRaven used it in a speech. So, do the little things. Take your time. Do them the very best way that you can. They may lead to other little things. Not being able to strip down and re-assemble a weapon, blindfolded and under water perhaps but never say never. Pearl diving looks interesting.
All the best. Here is the bit of his speech, the whole thing is in the link below if you are bored for a few minutes:

“If you made your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. And by the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that the little things in life matter.
If you can’t do the little things right, you’ll never be able to do the big things right. And if by chance have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made, that you made. And a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.”

Video of speech with huge subtitles if you are interested here:
 
Is there somebody you can trust to stay with Mrs L to give you an few hours of respite? You sound as though you need it. My situation was much easier than yours in that my husband was physically unable to do much before his mind went completely and that was bad enough. The uncertainty is definitely a big issue. How can you plan if you don't know what the future holds?

As @dunelm suggests, taking pride in doing the little things can lead to feeling more comfortable with your situation because you are taking control. Control is something that Mrs L's condition makes difficult in the bigger things, but there are lots of small things you can do, and do well.

There are times, maybe lots of the time, when it gets you down. In my experience that is because you feel helpless to affect what is happening. When you stop trying to control those things you can't change and be aware of those you can control, things might become a bit easier. Sadly, I can't tell you that things will get better or even that they won't get worse. What could improve is your own ability to come to terms with what is happening.

Prayer for Serenity​

Attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr, Lutheran theologian (1892–1971)​


God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

 
The first thing that came to mind was the ' For the want of a nail ' - 'I lost my kingdom ' or such, off the top of my head of ' it takes a village' context!I
Thanks for the motivational video, I have seen many other similar.

I would ask a question that I have asked a couple of counsellors.

How can I use motivation for myself, when I have used all mine on every one else? Or

What do you buy something for someone who has everything?

I used motivational techniques for teaching teamwork in car factory as a team leader teaching team leader skills of Andon, kaizan, just in time, QNIPS and more. I also used it in football coaching and then in a football club, transforming the kit department and it's environment!

I have before retirement only done minor domestic duties, especially with the kids, Mrs L looked after us all.
So I have tried to use my skills of experience to do my housework. I still loathe it! Same as shopping! It has took me a few years to get used to doing it ever so reluctantly.
I am a fish out of water! Struggling to cope with my burden of life. I am a battler, My life has been one struggle after another. And having my working life and everything important for my life bar family ripped away from me. A counsellor has described it worse than losing someone very dear to me! Because of the integral part of my life, was football, My club, My purpose of being, My dream job. My financial needs and my sanity! Football was my job, My relaxation, My interest my love of life and my social network, with close friends and colleagues.
I couldn't cope then and still have a lot of anxiety and issues since.

Those little things like weeds in the garden, emptying the small bins, cleaning a bit of dust, a spiders web.That has been some of my morning chores for some time now. It is not the same or rewarding!

Thank you @dunelm, I really do appreciate your post, I can feel your empathy and your experience of something similar!

My best wishes, and if I may call you mate?
 
Since I started on this thread, I have read your posts with some interest, how you cope with your fellas and your own health issues and just being with us, is still another battle every day or during the night, as Mrs L and yourself knows very well! My eldest has the same first name as your fella. Because of my interest in the lunar landings in the sixties and Mr Armstrong. I am a trekkie!

I do feel useless, I do feel like a spare part. A fish out of water, not only with how I cope with Mrs L. I have had no training, just my instincts, and a sense of loyalty, My vows, My one 'In Love' love.
And after, that other half of my life taken away, the other half (No pun intended) is not quite there now!
It really hurts! I can only understand, I can only be there and do my best, wether it's good enough, it, in the scheme of things is not that important but I think it helps!
A part of my anxiety is actually going out without Mrs L! And as I said, I feel guilt! And uncomfortable.
So I stay in as much as possible, in the garden, in my comfort zone, doing my little things when not doing the chief cook and bottle washer!
This, as you can see, is Why I need counsdlling, I'm trapped in my anxiety, I can do a lot of the usual chores, like shopping, cleaning, washing and such, but I know, I feel as though, that is my life, I have to do it, but I just can't enjoy it! And am so reluctant!
It does feel as if I have lost everything!
And the thing is, I know I have the tools, the energy, the will to do it!
Things are expected of me by Mrs L. And I can't not do it!
You of all on here, can understand this!
Thank you for the messages and empathy, I can sense the reluctance of posting our feelings, it is very hard to be thought of that way, of feeling deficit in how we deal with our life.
When deep down we really should be proud of them. But we just don't!

My best wishes @Annb.
And again thanks!
 
[Ne my future. My reliance on my ex working life to be my reliance to get on with my lot. Family is still a huge part of my day to day and it fills so much of my day! But there is that time when I am not going about my day. This is, as you are probably aware that, is when we have as @dunelm @gennepher would use for their unbelievable art! Television has not got the appeal it once did, struggling to find something I like that I haven't watched, same with reading. I found out through my DIL, that I speed read, and I have often read a whole decent sized novel in a few hours. It is a good job that during my hypo hell time before diagnosis, that I can't remember a lot of the books that I read then!
I have my garden, but it is an excuse to be outside.
In other words, other than my family time, I have nothing to fill hours. I am not lonely!
Due to circumstances, because of my carer role, I cannot subscribe to volunteer work without feeling real anxiety leaving Mrs L, without care. It has become apparent that even going for counselling my anxiety kicks in, being away from home!
I still cannot feel elation!
I'm happier, but no joy!
I have no excitement in me!
I still have a few minutes in the morning when I wake up, I don't want to get up, but I know, I can't stay there in my pit! From that moment till the morning bits are done and Mrs L chores are done. I can have an hour doing something! Computer jigsaw sometimes!
It always, feels that I'm not doing enough! Though I am aware that I'm doing too much! Don't know how to work that out!
Because of the restless legs issues, I can't sit for long without having to get up and do something!
But that doesn't help!

I am frustrated, so much, anxiety going out, anxiety away from Mrs L, anxiety over her health and misrememberitis, trying not to be frustrated with her, anxiety over being angry over the frustration with the repetition of Mrs L asking or questioning, misunderstanding of even what day it is! Finding things she has put away and a lot, lot more!
I'm coping, as much as I can. Help would be grateful, family are great but it is not ideal to see Mrs L, the way she is!
And finally I'm using the few occasions to go the footie, to watch my team, as an excuse to get out, when within half an hour, my brain is questioning my reasons for going, and I have guilt and anxiety in reams!
I have crossed off the need to go back to the football club, to assuage that part of the anxiety issues! I have no longer pain from that! I have faced that and it's not a problem now!

My confidence is not great! My reasoning is not muddled, I can do stuff, but I'm still wary of doing things that I'm not sure of. Does that make sense?

I still have certain shopping anxiety, certain shops are beyond my anxiety, especially the bigger superstores! Panic attacks are the reason for this. Avoiding them when out with Mrs L is a task of persuasion!

Chores and shopping done!

I know the denial, is in hoping something comes about as it does in life to change things, have no idea what or want it to be. I know that my life as such, will very likely not be any better anytime soon!
I'm not a fan of this, not knowing!
And of course, My anxiety over my anxiety, which is that I'm very anxious about it all!
I can't help it!


My best wishes to you all as always!
[/QUOTE]

I think you do extremely well Lamont for your wife and it must be extremely hard when a spouse has even the start of dementia.

My sister developed dementia when she was in her late seventies and died it at 85 just 9 years ago. She was not cared for and then dumped in a horrible care home who gave her bed sores.
She had no personal effects at all in there.

Her husband would not get any help when she was at home and then told her friends not to visit the care home.

He never used the attendance allowance Helen advised him how to get years before, it paid for her last two months in the home.

We saw her two weeks before she died after refusing food and then water after we went back home.
They were not poor by any stretch of the imagination, he died before the pandemic.

She was nasty with us both when sane but a lot nicer when demented. They lived 200 miles away.
When she was home all she had to do was press a button phone and ring me. She became obsessed about seeing our long dead mother.
I kept telling her mother was fine don't worry about her.Then I was told not to tell her that.

She had an awful start to life and sad ending.
The home was closed later because of poor care.
D
 
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